Month: July 2015

 

Judgment Day 2007

 

Boy oh boy does this look utter shite on paper lol.

 

Ric Flair Vs Carlito

No thanks.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

HBK is being interviewed about being kicked in the head on Raw. Orton attacks him from behind. LOL.

 

Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon & Umaga Vs Bobby Lashley – ECW Championship Match

Vince McMahon is the ECW Champion. So he probably ranks up there as one of the best ECW Champions ever because the original ECW sucked . Ok, got the original ECW hate out of the way, maybe I can concentrate on this match… .

Fuck me, this lasted like, 2 minutes . Lashley runs through everyone and pins Shane.

Umaga attacks Lashley from behind after the match.

Vince announces that to become ECW Champion, Lashley needed to beat HIM.

Ok so… this was kinda pointless?

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

CM Punk Vs Elijah Burke

Heard that this is HILARIOUSLY BAD. So fuck it, I’m gonna watch it. But expecting it to be horrible, so hopefully I’ll laugh at it rather than get angry at it .

It’s like they are both being controlled by 2 kids with Xbox controllers or something. The kids are just button mashing and hoping they will hit enough moves randomly to win .

at the commentators trying to figure out what the fuck happened when Punk ran at Burke and just kinda flopped over the ropes to the floor.

My god it just keeps going. It’s like the Duracell Bunny. Except Duracell batteries are useful. This is just utterly pointless lol. They are just going through the motions until it’s time to go home.

Fans are so bored they decide to chant for JBL.

why do they have so much time? WHY? Is this ever gonna end? Did they book it as an Iron Man match and forget to tell the fans?

This match was ONLY 16:50 according to Wiki? Bullshit. Was at least 54:20 imo.

Biggest waste of time EVER.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Randy Orton Vs Shawn Michaels

Was just gonna ask if Orton had turned babyface for a week or something cos he got a massive pop… then I realised the PPV is in St Louis .

HBK apparently can’t wrestle due to a concussion or whatever, so Orton demands to be declared the winner. HBK comes out anyway.

The referee begs Shawn to not compete, but he demands the bell to be rang. The bell rings, and Orton rings HBK’s bell with a right hand to the head.

DDT~!

HBK kicks out!

A kick to the face and Orton can barely even lift HBK up for an RKO, so he just drops him instead. HBK is practically DEAD, and the referee seems to think he’s still ok to continue .

Shawn does a good job selling the head injury, especially with the elbow drop from the top rope lol. Orton stuck him up there, but Shawn scratches Orton’s eyes and manages to push him to the mat, then he just kinda falls off the ropes for an elbow drop rather than get any kind of height or distance.

HBK IS TUNING UP THE BAND~!

SWEET CHIN MUSI… HBK collapses .

The referee FINALLY calls for the bell.

Was HBK injured at this point btw? Just wondering why they did the whole concussion angle with Orton taking him out for months, because the company DEFINITELY needed him in 07 well before he returned, what with Undertaker, Edge and Cena all getting injured.

Match is short and stuff. Just there to advance the story. A story that wouldn’t continue until months later when HBK returned .

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

Ooooo yey, a Khali promo!

 

The Hardy Boys Vs Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch – World Tag Team Championship Match

JBL talking about Cade & Murdoch: “I don’t know what they’re thinking but I disagree with it” .

Trevor Murdoch is rough, tough and in you MOUTH . Well done, Cole!

Weird match in the early going as they just go back and forth, exchanging hip tosses and arm drags etc. Unusual for Cade and Murdoch to do that. I could understand the Hardys doing that to try and gain the advantage, hoping to keep the pace going the way they want it, avoiding their opponents slowing shit down and turning it into a fight… but C&M are doing the exact same stuff lol.

They do a really short FIP, then a hot tag to Jeff, before Cade & Murdoch regroup on the outside for a few moments.

When they get back into the ring it becomes something of a “proper” match, with Jeff being isolated and mauled. This is where the match FINALLY picks up and gets me interested.

CANADIAN DESTROYER BY TREVOR FUCKING MURDOCH~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!

It’s all downhill from here now. Not just this match. But the rest of wrestling. Forever. Trevor Murdoch hitting a Canadian Destroyer is wrestling’s peak.

Hot tag!

Twist of Fate + Swanton Bomb!

Hardy Boys retain their titles.

Fun match, though it did start a little odd lol. CANADIAN DESTROYER BY TREVOR FUCKING MURDOCH~!

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Cool video package for Edge, Vs Batista with Ozzy Osbourne “I don’t wanna stop” playing over it. Loved that song. He did it live on a Smackdown around this time too, right?

 

Edge Vs Batista – World Heavyweight Championship Match

Ok, so is THIS is the match people point to as being the good one between the two? Because I’ve sat through their other 07 PPV matches so far and they’ve been trash. Yet I know people tend to think highly of ONE of them. Since the others are shit, this one has to be it, right? RIGHT?

It better fucking be cos I’m sick of watching them have wank matches together. Not wanking matches, that would be disturbing as fuck. Wank as in shit. Trash. Rubbish. Awful. Terrible. Useless. Boring. Dull.

Like how they try to make it look like a big epic match with the referee explaining the rules as if it was a big boxing match. Wrestling needs more of that tbh. Anything to try and give matches a big fight feel.

oooooowwwww fuck fuck fuck. Currently drinking one of those hot blackcurrent drinks with stuff in it to help with cold and flu. Drank half of it fine. Then suddenly my last mouthful of it was like 10x hotter than the rest of the drink and I ended up spitting it out into my hands. Now my hands feel like they are on fire . Ah crap, some dribbled down onto my favourite Iron Man t-shirt . Hope it comes out in the wash…

Edge works over Batist’a injured leg.

Batista makes a comeback.

Batista’s leg hurts after hitting some offence.

Edge rolls up Batista for the win.

This felt more like a Superstars match tbh.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Chris Benoit Vs MVP – 2 out of 3 Falls United States Championship Match

Don’t think I’ve seen this match since it aired in 07. Seen their WM match a little more recently (a couple of years ago lol), and it was… ok. Nothing special. Hoping to find something fun about this match at the very least.

seriously? They are working the match around leg work? Right after Batista/Edge JUST DID IT THE MATCH BEFORE?

First fall was… just there. Felt like the Batista/Edge match tbh lol. Just a pile of nothingness that could have been on Superstars and not felt out of place.

Finish to the fall was… ok. Benoit had MVP up for an electric chair, but his leg gave out on him and MVP countered into the Playmaker for the win.

Second fall starts and… Benoit is dominated as if HE won the first fall lol.

“Any time you stick any limb near Benoit he grabs it” .

“this is boring” chant .

Best part of the second fall is one of the little battles they have when Benoit tries to apply the Crossface. And then MVP wins anyway. 2 straight falls. I’d say “way to bury Benoit” but he would do a better job himself later in the year .

Has Benoit EVER had a good 2/3 falls match that wasn’t against Angle? This sucks, and the Jericho one from SS 00 sucks too.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

John Cena Vs The Great Khali – WWE Championship Match

Khali has a NINE INCH size advantage over Cena .

Genuinely enjoyed their… ONS match or whenever it was after this, and so far this one is shaping up to be just as fun. Khali is powering Cena around like he’s nothing, and Cena is selling every shot like a bullet to the chest.

And then the fun stops as Khali applies that god damn motherfucking piece of shit nerve grip hold. HOW MANY FECKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO NOT USE THAT BASTARDING HOLD? STOP. IT. NOW.

Cena fights back and slowly makes a comeback, then applies the STFU and makes Khali TAP OUT!!! But Khali’s foot was clearly under the ropes. Even TOUCHED the ropes at one point. Oh well.

This was ok, but didn’t seem to get going compared to their next match.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 2

 

The Great American Bash 2007

 

I remember nothing from this event. Either it’s for a reason (aka the show sucked), or my mind just isn’t what it ice cream.

 

MVP Vs Matt Hardy – WWE United States Championship Match

Time to see if Matt can drag MVP to a good match. If anyone can it’s Matt Hardy, but MVP still sucks so bad even the best wrestlers struggle to do anything decent with him .

Well, this was a surprise . They work a nice, snug competitive match, something you’d see on a regular basis on Smackdown in 2006, and every now and then still in 07, like here.

MVP looks better than usual, but damn, Matt Hardy is on a whole other level. How fucking good is this guy? Still sucks that it was Jeff that ended up being the more popular Hardy and got the big title push .

Wish I’d wrote more about this match, but I was too busy simply ENJOYING it . Best MVP match? Can’t think of anything that comes remotely close tbh. Matt Hardy brings out the absolute best in people. Which makes me wish we got a big match between him and Christian in 2009 on ECW or something, rather than the Hardy Vs Hardy feud lol. They could have torn the fucking house down on any card that year.

So the Playmaker ends the match and MVP retains. God, the Playmaker has to be one of the worst finishers, up there with the People’s Elbow.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Dusty Rhodes shows up. Aaand my memory of this event starts to come back. He has a Bullrope match with Orton . Dusty starts telling a story about cows . Then he moos. FOR NO REASON .

 

Jimmy Wang Yang Vs Shannon Moore Vs Funaki Vs Jamie Noble Vs Chavo Guerrero – WWE Cruiserweight Championship Open Match

Cole: “Anyone is eligible for this Cruiserweight open as long as they are Cruiserweights” WELL FUCKING DUH.

I’m rooting for Funaki. Or Moore. Or Noble. Or Yang.

Hornswoggle randomly runs into the ring then hides under it. OH GOD IS THIS WHEN HE WINS AND THE TITLE DISAPPEARS FOREVER?

Typical multi-man CW match. Everyone just keeps running in to hit moves before getting taken out by someone else coming in to hit moves. Yawn.

Yep… Hornswoggle wins the title. Despite never being announced for the match. And thus ends the CW title because Vince is a prick.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

The Sandman Vs Carlito – Singapore Cane on a Poll Match

*facepalm*

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Melina Vs Candice Michelle – WWE Women’s Championship Match

I was considering watching this match when Melina came out. Then I realised who her opponent was.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Jeff Hardy Vs Umaga – WWE Intercontinental Championship Match

So Matt Hardy got a great match out of a useless fuckwad like MVP earlier. So surely Umaga can get something good out of Jeff Hardy, who isn’t entirely awful, right?

Lol, the ref tells Umaga to watch the throat after he uppercuts Jeff. HIS FUCKING FINISHER IS A THUMB TO THE THROAT. I don’t think he cares, ref .

Umaga is a beat, just destroying Hardy in fun fashion, allowing Jeff to stick to his strength of taking a beating. Aaaaaand then Umaga applies that fucking nerve grip. BAN THE FUCKING NERVE GRIP. AND THE BEARHUG. BAN EM BOTH.

, had to pause the video to go get a drink, and the moment I clicked play again, I just heard the words “Barbeque sandwich” from JR. NO IDEA WHY HE SAID THOSE WORDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A MATCH .

Once again the referee tries to make Umaga stop something, this time to stop using the ropes to leap in the air and crush Jeff. Umaga immediately does the exact same thing, only for Jeff to get his knee up and catch Umaga!!! Guess he should have listened to the ref .

Hardy is building momentum now, capitalising on Umaga driving his own head into the mat on a missed headbutt! A mix of speed and high flying offence looks to send Jeff to the IC title, but the MONSTER Umaga just doesn’t stop! THE SAMOAN TERMINATOR~!

UMAGA SMASHES HIS OWN HEAD INTO THE RING POST~!

SWANTON BOMB~!

HOLY FUCK UMAGA KICKED OUT~! Genuinely thought the match was over there lol. Don’t remember who wins!

SUPER KICK~!

BUM SMASH~!

SAMOAN SPIKE~!

Umaga retains his title and comes out looking like a true fucking beast!

Great match! Umaga looked great, Jeff looked great, both guys stuck to what they are best at, and they meshed together tremendously.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Liking how they are building up the main event throughout the night with video packages for both men. It’s getting me hyped lol.

 

John Morrison Vs CM Punk – ECW Championship Match

Nice little moment with Punk hitting a Tully Blanchard suplex, here at the Great American Bash.

Wouldn’t be surprised if that was the best part of the match tbh. These two have a bad track record on PPV .

Trashy Mess.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Randy Orton Vs Dusty Rhodes – Texas Bullrope Match

I just… no. I have no desire to watch Dusty in his “prime”, never mind in 2007.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

The Great Khali Vs Kane Vs Batista – World Heavyweight Championship Match

Remember when Kane disguised himself as the Burger King so he could attack Edge, and ended up injuring him? Fun times .

And then Khali won the WHC and the fun times were done.

Why do they always have ring announcers tell you how tall someone is ONLY when they are 7ft or above lol? “COMING DOWN TO THE RING, STANDING AROUND 5 FEET TALL, ONE OF THE DIVAS”

Oh ffs, we aren’t even 5 minutes into this and there is a fucking Nerve Grip. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL THEM TO STOP IT?!?!

Sweet jebus, just when Kane shows up to break the hold… Khali puts it on him too.

Well bugger me, Khali with a Chokeslam? To both men? Did he EVER use that move again lol?

They all end up on the outside and just club the fuck out of each other and the match turns fun for a few moments . DOUBLE SPINEBUSTER TO KHALI THROUGH THE TABLE~!

Khali sells the table spot for about 2 minutes before getting back in the ring lol.

CHOKESLAM TO KHALI~!

Ya know, I’m actually enjoying this . Khali isn’t in it much, and Kane and Batista beat the fuck out of each other which is super fun.

Everyone is throwing BOMBS at each other, desperate to win before the third man can show up and break up the cover. just after I wrote that, JBL says “we’ve got guys throwing BOMBS at each other”. STOP STEALING MY SHIT, JOHN!!!

Unfortunately Khali does retain. I was rooting (ROOT) for Kane back in the day.

Yeah, I had fun with this .

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Video hyping HHH’s return for SummerSlam. King Booker comes out afterwards. Guessing this is to start their feud. Urgh. He wants Lawler to give up his crown because Booker is the only true King, apparently…

 

John Cena Vs Bobby Lashley – WWE Championship Match

Having a bunch of legends comment on the match for the hype video really makes this match seem HUGE. Wonder how Lashley would have turned out if he didn’t leave WWE.

Big fight feel .

Starts out like you would expect from a big face vs face match. They lock up, they do the old test of strength spots, then they just go from there.

And where they go from there is having Lashley display his amateur skills and using his power and athleticism to make him look as good of an all rounder and big threat to Cena as possible. All the while Cena does a bit of brawling and throws in some of his awkward “modified” moves.

Terrific spot with Cena avoiding a clothesline from Lashley, and it’s one of those where Lashley looked like he wanted to fucking MUDER Cena with the move, and he would have if it hit, so Cena had to have perfect timing to avoid it, and it was done really well and looked awesome .

according to Lawler and JR, Cena has NEVER faced anyone with the kind of wrestling skills that Lashley has. Seems Angle didn’t go to TNA in 06; he was simply removed from existence! Then Lawler follows up with the “especially someone with the kind of strength Lashley has too”. And somewhere Lesnar just bursts out laughing and doesn’t know why. I do, Brock. I do.

Lashley is on top form here, just on the offence all the time, no wasted motion. He exploded out of nowhere with power and smashed Cena’s ribs down onto his shoulder, and form there Lashley focused on the mid-section of the champ.

F-U~! Cena with an F-U out of nowhere, but he’s too fucked up to cover straight away, and Lashley is able to kick out and recover quicker than Cena.

SPEA… STFU~! And it looks as shitty as ever lol .

SPEAR~!

KICK OUT~!

So Lashley got to kick out of an F-U, but only after taking almost no damage in the match up to that point, and having Cena wait about a minute before going for the cover. Cena on the other hand, has taken all this punishment and kicks out of a SPEAR straight away. LOL.

SUPER F-U~!

And with that, Cena retains.

Great match here. Made Lashley look like he could really be the FUTURE if he wanted to. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, he didn’t want to and he left. TNA are trying to make him their FUTURE, but being the future of TNA is like getting a promotion at work right before it closes down .

The match has a great atmosphere to it as well, with the big fight feel that I love so much, and the crowd being super into it all, but being very, very split as to who they wanted to win. Unusual for Cena to not get booed to shit on PPV in a title match around this time .

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 11

 

SummerSlam 2007

 

Well, time to torture myself!

 

So this is the 20th SummerSlam. Did they honestly think this card was worthy of being such a high profile event?

 

Event has been sold out since Jan. Feel sorry for all those people who bought tickets without knowing the card .

 

Kane Vs Finlay

Well, looks like the show is going to get off to a decent start. Have a feeling it all goes downhill from here though .

Oh my god, are you kidding me? This is ANOTHER KANE FEUD BASED ON SPILT COFFEE?

Well, all I can say is, that coffee must have been DAMN HOT because Kane is out to MURDER the Irishman. Probably as STIFF as Kane has ever been .

Kane absolutely dominates and mauls Finlay early on, and seems to be working more of a SMASH MOUTH style match than you might expect from him, despite the fact he usually does like to smash people in the face lol.

Finlay finds an opportunity to gain control of Kane, and does a little rib work (Kane’s ribs are taped up), but Kane is still so fired up he just keeps coming back and Finlay is back on defence.

Finlay tries to get Hornswoggle involved to help him, but the midget is terrified. Pretty sure Kane just botched knocked Hornswoggle’s hat off .

CHOKESLAM~! No wait! Kane’s ribs are fucked and he can’t get Finlay up! NOW is the time for Finlay to turn the match around!

The sheleighly gets involved, and we have the old “ref takes it away only for Finlay to bring out another one” spot, but not even a shot to the ribs can keep the Big Red Monster down!

CHOKESLAM TO FINLAY~! KANE WINS!!!

Huh, not really sure how I feel about this match. Kane dominated 90% of it, despite the fact Finlay is one of the toughest bastards ever AND Kane was injured. Very odd. Fun to watch and a good fight, Kane looked good, but yeah, not quite how I thought the match was gonna go.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 

at Regal. Vince shows up in the GM room to find that there are no women for this big SummerSlam party. So Regal blurts out “I TOLD YOU TO GET THE SCRUBBERS” .

 

Santino is there because… yeah. MVP shows up and wants Vince to make a “competition” between him and Matt Hardy.

 

Oh man, Regal killed it during the entire segment .

 

Umaga Vs Mr Kennedy Vs Carlito – WWE Intercontinental Championship Match

SO uhhh… everyone in this match is a heel, right? Bet the fans will be into this one .

Umaga doesn’t give a shit, and takes on both men at once because he’s a fucking savage. Kennedy and Carlito try to work together, but their combined talent doesn’t equal Umaga’s .

Ok, so Umaga is a fucking MONSTER. At the start of the year he was mauling John Cena. Yet here, in typical truple threat fashion, he gets drop kicked out of the ring and is out of the match for a while. God I hate normal triple threat formulas lol. The Armageddon 07 triple threat was sooo much better.

OMG KENNEDY JUST SMASHED A MONITOR ONTO THE RINGPOST… I MEAN UMAGA’S HEAD. HONEST! IT TOTALLY CONNECTED WITH UMAGA’S HEAD AND NOT THE RING POST. YEY~!

Umaga still wins.

Whatever.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Rey Mysterio Vs Chavo Guerrero

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Torrie Wilson Vs Victoria Vs Kristal Vs Michelle McCool Vs Kelly Kelly Vs Brooke Vs Layla Vs Melina Vs Mickie James Vs Beth Phoenix – #1 Contendership for the WWE Women’s Championship Battle Royal Match

I think I wrote down everyone. Probably not. Don’t really care .

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

MVP and Matt Hardy do one of their competition things. It’s a beer drinking contest. Hardy is a pussy and picks a substitute, to get revenge for the boxing match they had when MVP subbed Holyfield for himself. Who is Matt’s sub? STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN~!

 

at Austin warming up . That’s the sign of a professional right there!

 

STUNNER~!

 

We return backstage to the party in Vince’s office. The GOAT moment of 2007 takes place:

 

 

 

John Morrison Vs CM Punk – ECW Championship Match

what the fuck is this? It’s like they planned out a 30 minute match, only to find out there were getting 7 minutes, but decided to keep EVERYTHING in anyway .

No time for any selling, no time for ANYTHING really. They do moves and follow it up with moves and then some more moves. Twice Morrison tried to slow Punk down with a rest hold, but the moment they went to the mat in the hold, Punk was already fighting back out .

Currently on Wikipedia looking up the time of the match so I could make my point better lol… and it turns out only TWO matches on the entire show go longer than 10 minutes . Only 1 more goes over 8 . The total time for matches, on a THREE HOUR PPV is 1 hour 17 minutes .

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

King Booker Vs Triple H

HHH returns after yet another quad injury. And he decided to return and squash Booker T . I watched just because I find it hilarious. Because Booker T sucks. Duh.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

The Great Khali Vs Batista – World Heavyweight Championship Match

this show just gets worse and worse .

Surprisingly Khali isn’t too bad on offence… except for that sodding nerve grip. God I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE FUCKING H.A.T.E. THAT FUCKING HOLD. STOP IT. It should be banned.

KHALI BOMB~!

BATISTA KICKS OUT~!

Khali, despite DOMINATING this entire match… whacks Batista with a chair and gets DQ’d.

Well. That was pointless . Not as awful as I was expecting though .

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

John Cena Vs Randy Orton – WWE Championship Match

People tend to cream over this match. Those people can BURN IN HELL. No Way Out 2008 is the only match between these two men that you ever really need to see. EVER. Their matches should have ended there.

Well, the match starts off fun at least. Crowd are HOT for this one. They fucking hate Cena and are practically BEGGING for Orton (or anyone really) to take the damn title from Mr Hustle, Loyalty and Dullness. They go bakc and forth, exchanging basic holds and trying to gain control, until Cena gets blasted off the apron and crashes face first into the announce table, and it quickly becomes Orton’s match.

Sleeper hold > Cena escapes > Runs the ropes > Gets hit by Orton/Misses a move > Sleeper hold. Rinse. Repeat. Me fall asleep.

That was the main portion of the match. Seriously. Urgh. Things pick up again towards the end at least. Fuck me though, can Cena do ANYTHING without running the ropes?

Cena Superman’s out of nowhere and applies the STFU, and Orton’s head nearly falls out from between Cena’s arms because he doesn’t seem to be able to apply the fucking submission properly. 8 years on and he STILL can’t do it either .

RKO~!

Of course, Cena kicks out. Duh. A finishing move FINISHING a match? LOL as if!

F-U out of nowhere~! Orton kicks out… oh wait no. Cena wins lol.

*sigh* I just don’t like this match much at all. Has some good stuff, but is ruined by Orton and Cena repeating the same damn sequence for the middle portion of the match and then going into a finishing stretch with no real build. And of course SUPERCENA finish.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

Overall CAL SCALE – -0.5

 

Armageddon 2007

 

Yet another DVD I had to unwrap to watch for this ramble! Though tbh I don’t think I’ve owned this one that long, pretty sure it’s one I picked up a couple of months before starting the 07 rambles.

 

Rey Mysterio Vs MVP – WWE United States Championship Match

I miss Rey . The current contract situation with him and WWE is bullshit. Just let him leave. He can’t do much in the ring any more without getting injured, sadly, and let’s face it, Rey going elsewhere isn’t going to put a dint in WWE.

Match starts fun, both men doing back and forth doing some nice holds and cool counters. Then MVP gains control and *falls asleep*…

Mmmmmm Root, I’d love to hack that system with you. Oh, we only have one chair, maybe you should sit on my lap…

*wakes up*

Huh what? Mysterio is making a comeback . Finally, something interesting. Mysterio loses his balance on the ropes, but still manages to connect with MVP… except his balls took a headbutt .

Fun finishing stretch and then… MVP gets himself counted out. Booooring. Some good stuff here, when Rey was on offence, but everything else was dull.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Kane & CM Punk Vs Mark Henry & Big Daddy V

BEEFIES VS PUNK .

Match starts with Henry and Punk together. Yey! Henry trash talking .

Dammit WWE, STOP SAYING MARK HENRY IS LEGITIMATELY THE WORLD’S STRONGEST MAN. He isn’t. He never was. He has lifted some big weights in the past, pre-WWE. He won the 2002 Arnold Strongman Classic. BUT that competition was seriously lacking in big time strength athletes. I still think it was a set up, as Vince and Arnie were friends, and Arnie had done some things with WWE before, and having Henry win would add some media attraction to WWE, while WWE could help advertise the first Arnold Strongman Classic and get it off the ground.

Anyway… no wait, not done yet! In 2007, Henry certainly wasn’t LEGITIMATELY the World’s Strongest Man. A certain Polish man by the name of Mariusz Pudzianowski was.

Ok, back to the match. In fact, I missed quite a bit of it typing that shite out lol. I’ll go back to the start because I genuinely wanna see this.

Even Henry Vs Kane part of the early going here is . Kane looks like he’s trying to really kill Sexual Chocolate with some of those shots! Tag back to Punk, who ends up getting run over by Henry and now the 2 BEEFIES can begin to crush the ECW Champ!

they try to do the old “face runs into the ropes, heel on the apron kicks him” spot, but the fucking referee got in the way .

Hoooooly SHIT at the height CM Punk gets dropped from when Big Daddy V presses him over his head. Full extension of his arms, elbows locked out (still in the Strongman mindset here lol), and Big Daddy V is what, 6’8? So Punk gets dropped over 7 feet to the mat. OUCH. To hell with calling Henry the World’s Strongest Man lol, someone see what Daddy V can do! Well, back then, anyway. We can’t now .

“COME ON, DADDY!” that just sounds so wrong. Stop it, Striker .

Kane takes a turn at being the FIP, and Henry & V do a pretty darn good job working him over. How awesome would they have been as a dominate tag team with the titles or something on Raw and/or SD? They constantly stuck Big Show and Kane together and gave them the belts, why not do the same for the SUPERIOR BEEFIES team?

Punk’s hot tag is sweet, and his knees and kicks to the head of Big Daddy V to try and take him off his feet all look fantastic. And then… BOOM. Punk dives off the ropes and BDV catches him with a Samoan Drop for the win! Damn! BDV just pinned the ECW Champion!!!

So this was great! I mean yeah, one hell of a tag match! Add another PPV tag match in 2007 that’s better than the overrated DX/Rated RKO match .

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

Shawn Michaels Vs Mr Kennedy

Hoping for at least a solid match here. Kennedy kinda went downhill in 07 after he came back from the injury that cost him the MITB briefcase. However I do love the match he had in early 08 on Raw with HBK on the first HD show, so hopefully the PPV match here will be good.

Anyone remember why this match is happening btw? No video package so I’m clueless lol.

Unusual start to the match as Kennedy starts off strong as the heel, rather than a typical babyface shine period. I like when they deviate from the regular formula . Kennedy works over the back of HBK, and HBK must take advantage of any oppertunity that comes his way, involving a chop block to the knee, and then an armbar take down. Different parts of the body, but both were the best he could do at that time.

Ha, it’s actually like Kennedy and HBK have reversed rolls. HBK as a babyface would normally start strong, with heel Kennedy looking for any opening he can get to take advantage of. Nice .

That armbar takedown took enough out of Kennedy to allow the Show Stopper to regain control, and he does so by continuing to work over that arm, now forcing Kennedy to take back his style of wrestling by searching for an opening!

HBK STAMPS ON KENNEDY’S HAND WHILE IT’S ON THE STEEL STEPS~!

Wonder how good HBK can be at working over someone’s hand. I guess he did get first HAND experience (ha, get it?) in the Mankind match at Mindgames .

Love some of the battles they have with HBK refusing to let go of the hand and Kennedy trying everything he can to get away . This is the kind of shit that made me such a fan of Kennedy during his mid-06 to mid-07 run.

Awesome transition spot with HBK having his back smashed into the ring post from the apron . Love that spot.

HBK constantly getting in little shots to the hand whenever he can .

Also like how HBK’s comeback is slowly built up with him getting a little more offence in each time he attempts a full comeback. He’ll hit something, Kennedy will take him back down. He’ll hit something again, Kennedy might be rocked and HBK can get something else in, before Kennedy takes him down, and then after a few tries, Kennedy is too rocked from each shot to put HBK down again!

Kennedy is also still showing the effects of the arm work earlier in the match too. LONG TERM SELLING = . Not enough people bother with short term selling these days, never mind long term.

Oh my, I think I blew my load! Kennedy decks HBK, but it was with the hand that Shawn worked on, and Kennedy screams in pain and can’t follow up, allowing HBK to land Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere for the win!!!

“Hoping for at least a solid match here.” LOL. Not even close. It’s FAR above just a solid match! Tremendous stuff. Makes me wanna go back and watch their Raw match too. Think I actually still have the first Raw in HD show on my PC…

Rating: ****
CAL SCALE – 5

 

Orton gets interviewed back stage. I groan at first because he starts off a little shitty, but then he goes on to hit it out of the park by the end. Awesome stuff from him.

 

Triple H Vs Jeff Hardy – #1 Contendership Match for the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble

Oh my, helloooooo Lillian! Looking rather spectacular!

So we have HHH and Jeff Hardy. Two guys that on their own, I really don’t care for. Together though? They just seem to click. Weird how that happens sometimes. I can dislike 2 guys in the ring on their own, but when they face each other, somehow they bring out the absolute best in themselves. I can’t think of any examples off the top of my head right now lol, but hopefully I’ll remember some before the match is over .

They play up nicely on the different styles of the two men here. HHH is bigger and stronger, able to knock Jeff down with shoulder blocks and vicious clotheslines. Jeff has to keep trying to use his quickness to avoid HHH’s offence and land his own, and it’s done very, very well at the start here.

Both are babyfaces and have that whole “respect” thing going on, but this is about getting a title shot at the RR. Jeff goes to deck HHH but hesitates, thinking this is going to be a friendly WRESTLING match. HHH responds by bitch slapping Jeff so hard he probably thinks he’s Matt.

FIGHT ME~!

Now things are getting serious! No playing around, no fancy holds and counters, just two men hungry for a title shot!

Despite getting off to a pretty great start, once HHH gains full control I lose interest a little. He’s never been the best guy on offence, and even with a babyface like Jeff Hardy who can get the crowd behind him and do some cool selling and shit, it’s still not that exciting.

Doesn’t help that EVERY cut off spot from HHH is a clothesline. Well, 99% of the time anyway.

Picks up as they go into a finishing stretch, with Hardy hitting a bunch of high flying moves, and HHH trying to avoid or counter them. And then Hardy counters a Pedigree with a pin and gets the win!

HHH sits there smiling. Because he knows he can have a WWE title match whenever the fuck he wants anyway .

Ok match. Not the best these have had though, which is disappointing. They certainly are capable of more. HHH was too dull controlling things.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Khali is screaming at the camera. BLURGH BLARGH HOOGLBLUE. RAWR. Something like that.

 

The Great Khali Vs Finlay

Gonna see if FINLAY can get something decent out of the Punjabi Twat.

JBL goes retarded “I DON’T THINK EVEN ON HIS BEST DAY, FINAL CAN BEAT KHALI”. Seriously, JBL? SERIOUSLY?

Finlay spends most of this match taking kicks to the head lol.

Yey, nerve grip. Exciting…

Sheleighly to Khali’s balls! Sheleighly to Khali’s head! FINLAY WINS~!

Well, I probably should have skipped this one .

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Randy Orton Vs Chris Jericho – WWE Championship Match

So Orton ran through HBK, HHH and Cena in his title reign and whatnot… and suddenly a guy returning to the ring for the first time in 2 and a half years is going to SAVE US? Not only that, but it’s Jericho? LOL. Maybe if this was for the IC title… .

How shit was Jericho’s “big return” anyway lol? He did fuck all really until he turned heel and had the HBK feud… which I think is overrated (along with most of their matches).

Didn’t help that everyone KNEW the whole “SAVE_US” thing was him.

Ok, I need to remove all that negativity from my mind. These two have had some super matches in the past, back in the EVOLUTION RAW days. So this COULD be good too .

Arm drag is the first move attempted in this match and… it’s botched. Looked more like a wrist drag . Not sure whose fault it was though. Luckily the next 2 times Jericho goes for that move, it lands perfectly .

Christ this is dull. Then it shoots up like a fucking ROCKET when Jericho counters an RKO, hits a bulldog and follows up with the Lionsault because everyone thought he was gonna win the belt.

Aaaand then the match randomly ends up on the outside, where Orton lobs Jericho into JBL.

Walls of Jericho applied in the middle of the ring and… JBL kicks Jericho in the face and the match is mercifully over.

What a load of pointless garbage. NOTHING. That’s the best way to describe this. It’s a match filled with NOTHING.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Yey… Jillian Hall comes out to sing. Sad thing is, she’s probably better than everyone in the charts right now .

 

Mickie James Vs Beth Phoenix – WWE Women’s Championship Match

Mickie Vs Victoria at the first PPV in 07 was really good, so I’m hoping for something similar here with Mickie against Beth .

JR shouting “HEY MICKIE” during the match when she almost wins, totally not even understanding the reference he himself made and carrying on even when Lawler mentions it was probably my fav part of the match .

Not to the say the match bad, infact I enjoyed it quite a bit. Beth was powering Mickie around, then Mickie would keep trying to fight back until she finally took down the Glamazon and could start to mount some offence.

Finish just seems to come out of nowhere and falls flat as fuck, which is a shame .

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 

Batista Vs Edge Vs The Undertaker – World Heavyweight Championship Match

oh yes, one of my fav triple threat matches!!!

What’s so special about this match is how it’s the transition from one Undertaker feud to another, playing off things that happened MONTHS ago as well. Undertaker Vs Batista was the big WHC feud throughout 2007 (when they weren’t injured lol). Edge beat Undertaker for the title during that time, when Undertaker was injured and had to take time off. That lead to Batista wanting to take the belt from Edge. They feuded, and then Edge got injured, allowing Batista to come in and eventually win back the title. Undertaker returned and again challenged Batista for the belt. They ended up inside the HIAC at Survivor Series (which I think will be the last 07 show I ramble about), where Edge returned, screwed Undertaker out of the title and put himself back into the title picture. So now all 3 men are active, all 3 men want the WHC, and all 3 men will compete here tonight! And after this match, things would then start to build to Undertaker getting his hands one on one with Edge for the title for most of 2008!

Both Undertaker and Batista want to kill Edge. But they don’t want to team up to do it. They are MEN. They are WARRIORS. And they wanna maul Edge ON THEIR OWN. Which leaves Undertaker and Batista to beat the living shit out of each other for the opportunity to get to Edge! LOVE how they structured the match this way. Makes a nice change from the typical triple threat formula.

While Taker and Batista try to kill each other, Edge plays up his “Ultimate Opportunist” character perhaps better than he ever did throughout his entire run, by sitting back and watching the two rivals going at it, then picking his spots when the time is right.

Plenty of great action throughout, will some cool moments such as Batista decking Undertaker with a clothesline, countering his apron leg drop that he was planning on doing to Edge, and Batista Spearing Undertaker while he has Edge up for the Last Ride, causing a fucking pileup of all 3 men!

Edge again continues to play up his character, this time ringing the bell while Undertaker has Batista locked in a triangle choke! Undertaker thinks it’s over, let’s go of Batista and gets back to his feet, only to get a Spear from Edge!

Undertaker and Batista continue to fucking murder each other, dishing out numerous big finishing moves, all the while knocking out Edges left, right and centre. Yes. EdgeS. There are 3 of them! All the constant distractions allow the REAL Edge to steak a win from Undertaker, and become the NEW World Heavyweight Champion!!!

The debut of the EDGEHEADS, Hawkins and Ryder, help Edge add another WHC win to his portfolio in an incredible match that helps end one rivalry and begins another!

<3 this match so much still.

Rating: ****
CAL SCALE – 5

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 16