No Mercy 2008 Ramble

Posted on: September 13th, 2013 by Big Cal

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No Mercy 2008

Had to take the wrapping off this to watch it. Guess I bought it in bulk with a bunch of other DVD’s when SV did their “going out of business cos WWE are cunts and are replacing us with a shitty company who charge rip off prices and only have like 10 DVD’s in their library to sell you” sale.

Matt Hardy Vs Mark Henry – ECW Championship

 What a way to start the show! HENRY! HARDY! ECW TITLE! I miss the ECW brand when WWE had it. Except that time when Bobby “bathturd” Lashley was the main guy. Mid-Late 08 onwards was just awesome. So much talent. These 2 guys were big parts of it for the 08 period too. In fact they were pretty much the biggest part of the 08 ECW awesomeness.

Hardy is the fighting champ, but Henry is the World’s Strongest Man and lost his title without being pinned in the Scramble match the previous month, so he’s fucking PISSED.

HENRY SMASH! Then Matt finds an opening and goes for the legs of Henry! Tony Atlas is screaming “NOOOOOOOO!” on the outside that really helps put over what kind of a threat Hardy might actually be if he continues to destroy the WSM’s legs.

Henry’s power allows him to, well, power through the leg work and continue to try and maul the champ, but Hardy is pretty spectacular with his comebacks, and damn that finish was fantastic. The FIGHTING SPIRIT~! of Matt is shown, the leg work comes into play, and Henry is finally defeated.

Me like this match. Could have done with more time, but what ya gonna do? They did a great job and worked a pretty sweet match regardless of the time.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

As much as I don’t really care too much for HHH… I do have to wonder what he was thinking in the backstage interview with him and Jeff as Jeff acts all… Jeff right in front of his face. I’m thinking “the fuck is wrong with this weirdo?” so fuck knows what HHH is thinking lol.

Beth Phoenix Vs Candice Michelle – Women’s Championship

LOL.

Rating: No
CAL SCALE – -1

Hi Kane :). Does he like, carry red lightbulbs around with him so he can set the mood backstage for his interviews and shit? Or does he just scare the production crew into doing it for him? Why am I putting any thought into something fake? FUCK YOU VINCE RUSSO. What?

Rey Mysterio Vs Kane – If Rey loses he must unmask

Lmao remember how everyone thought this feud was all about Kane getting his mask back? That burlap sack that we all thought was KANE’S mask, then it turned out it was Rey’s and this feud was about Rey losing his mask? Some crazy dumb shit right there lol. And now Kane has his mask back again. AND GUESS WHAT HE DIDN’T GET ANY MORE AWESOME. Not that I think he sucks balls, but why oh why did everyone think his mask would somehow make him 97/98 Kane again?

Anywho, I always really liked the chemistry between these two. I hope this is the match I remember as that match was great. When it’s over I’ll let you know if it was that match or not. Ok? Good :P.

We need to invent a drinking game where we take a shot any time Rey takes a big boot in a match against a giant. Easy way to get absolutely fucked 5 minutes in :P. Rey bumps like a fucking GOD for everything Kane throws at him, and Kane throws some good shit. All basic, but it all looks good and Rey sells it like murder. The clothesline early on to stop a 619 attempt might as well have beheaded Rey. Kane is awesome everyone. Stop hating and start… I dunno, not hating so much.

There’s a spot that I thought was more awesome than I think anyone should think such a small spot should be but fuck it I loved it. Rey was sat up on the mat, and Kane ran the ropes and did the boot to the face spot. Not the dropkick, but just a running boot. You know the spot. Anyway, Kane kinda slows down as he gets to Rey, as if he doesn’t want to really kick Rey’s head in because, fake and shit… but then it’s like Kane realises real quick that it would look terrible for him to do the kick now because he’s practically stopped now. So he makes up for it by just smashing poor Rey’s face in with a boot :P. So in order to prevent accidentally smashing Rey’s face in by going too fast, he slowed down and smashed Rey’s face in because it would look bad if he didn’t . And I marked out a little inside.

NEW DRINKING GAME! Take a shot any time Kane hits a side slam in this match. Pretty sure I’d need my stomach pumped before the match was over. Andy and Craig would probably just be a little tipsy by now. Unless they got a head start and got drunk before they started. Alcoholics. Now hurry the fuck up and ring me from Tesco or where ever you are going Dad so you can tell me what offers are on beer and I can transfer money into your bank account and you can get me some and I can get drunk tonight before I go to work tomorrow even though my contract ended today.

Rey’s comebacks in this match make Matt Hardy look like the biggest amature EVER in the Henry match. Just spectacular. And speaking of, the finish . Yes, this IS the match I was thinking of. I know because of the finish. Was dumb as shit in terms of the feud and the stipulation (because Kane got himself DQ’d so Rey wouldn’t lose his mask…), but damn it looked awesome.

Yeah I adore this match. A ton. Kane is great at beating down Rey, and Rey bumps around like a lunatic and sells the shit out of everything really well and is just all round great throughout.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

MVP demands to speak to Vickie backstage, but Big Show scares him off. So MVP comes out to the ring instead. And gets interrupted by Randy Orton. Who gets interrupted by Priceless and Manu. Fans chant “Boring” with as much passion as possible for such a chant. Orton leaves. Thanks for coming. MVP talks about how he would love to hang out with Priceless if he was on Raw, and they shun him off. Punk and Kofi come out, and talk MVP into running down to the ring and attacking them. MVP gets in the ring and Punk and Kofi laugh as he gets mauled. THESE ARE THE BABYFACES. Oh wait it’s ok they help MVP in the end after he takes an arse kicking first. Cunts. THIS ENTIRE SEGMENT WAS POINTLESS AND DID NOTHING.

Batista Vs John Bradshaw Layfield – Winner becomes #1 contender for the World Heavyweight Championship

Kinda scared to watch this match because… you know, they suck together. That sounds wrong but I’m rolling with it. Takes effort to delete shit.

Oh hey this isn’t too bad! Nice brawling, some hard hitting shots, and the Clothesline from Hell counter by Batista is cool, though JBL seems to almost have a delayed reaction to taking the Spear :P. JBL tries to slow the match down with a sleeper, but thank fuck they get out of that spot quickly otherwise I might have had to shoot someone.

BATISTA BOMB. And this one is over. It’s short, hard hitting and fun. Could have done without the sleeper hold, but at least it only lasted like half a minute. Not high on the old STARS~! but given the time it got and what they did, I couldn’t bring myself to going any higher even if I enjoyed it. Nowhere near bad at all though, so don’t let the rating fool you. Circumstances are the only reason it’s low.

Rating: **1/4
CAL SCALE – 1

JBL’s promo after the match is sweet. Starts off like he might be turning face then he turns it right around and looks like the biggest cunt on the planet. ALL HAIL JBL. Then Cryme Tyme show up and dance with the divas then steal JBL’s limo. Way to ruin JBL’s promo. Then Sgt Slaughter saves it by showing up with the biggest, cheesiest grin on his face and hops in the back of the limo with all the divas . Then Mickie James kills it by trying to be “fly”.

The Undertaker Vs The Big Show

The first match on the show without any title or stipulation lol. In fact I think it’s the only match like that on the show.

I loved Undertaker/Big Show feud from this time. Doesn’t officially end until like Feb 09, and even when they weren’t having matches we still got to see them slug it out (RR for example). One thing I did think was odd though, was how they handled the Vickie part of it. Undertaker was trying to kill her, so Show turned heel and aligned with Vickie to take down the Dead Man. Then Undertaker gets his hands on Vickie and Tombstones her before the first Show/Taker match? Strange. Surely they should have like, built up to Undertaker FINALLY getting his hands on her? Then again maybe Undertaker wanted to get it out of the way early rather so he didn’t have to thinking about getting his hands on her for too long :P.

So this match is about 2 big bastard punching each other. Repeatedly. And it’s better than almost everything else ever. And holy fucking shit at the bump Undertaker takes from the running shoulder block by Big Show. He nearly did the “turned inside out” bump, but not quite… almost like he didn’t mean to but Show ran into him THAT FUCKING HARD he couldn’t control himself properly lol. Looked amazingly sick.

What else can I say about this? 2 big bastards punch each other. I love it like it’s the greatest thing ever. The fans are all over it too. It’s mega awesome. A DDT is done as a legit believable finish to the match. Undertaker does the spot where he scares the ever loving shit out of the referee for trying to get in the middle of him and Show during a punch out. 

Finish shocked me back then and honestly still shocks me today. Ok the exposed turnbuckle comes into play for the finish, but still, UNDERTAKER LOST IN 2008 BY KO. And I’m not even mad! In fact I loved this match more than ever before this time around!

Rating: ****1/4
CAL SCALE – 6

Triple H Vs Jeff Hardy – WWE Championship

Trable Haige Vz Juff Hervey fur deh dubly dubly eeeeeeeee titel.

Match starts with Jeff doing the whole “nobody thinks I can wrestle so I’ll do basic wrestling moves to prove them wrong and put my opponent off his game” schtick, but quickly goes back to his high risk offense and unfortunately he crashes and burns allowing HHH to take control. Not really sure what I think to the opening parts of the match tbh. Yeah, Jeff did the “unexpected” to try and take HHH off his game and shit, but then that leads to Jeff just doing his usual shit and it backfires on him. So uhhh… why even bother with the “wrestling” stuff before hand? Might as well have had Jeff go all out to begin with, rocking HHH with some quick, high impact moves before HHH finally avoids something because Jeff went to the well far too often. Transitions into HHH’s control segment the same way, but doesn’t waste the time at the start of the match lol.

Thankfully the wasted time at the start of the match is the only real thing wrong with this match. HHH works well in control, Jeff is good fighting from the bottom, and like every other match on the show so far, it features some rather wonderful comeback and cut off spots. Those 2 things have really been the highlight of the entire PPV thus far, and probably a big reason for me loving everything thus far too lol.

Love how they keep working in Jeff’s high risk offence as being a big game changer (no pun intended. Unless you laughed, then I totally meant it), both working for Jeff and against him. Finish is… a little odd tbh. HHH gets hit with the Swanton but still has enough strength to counter the pin fall afterwards and hold Jeff’s shoulder’s down for the 3. Odd but I kinda liked it.

Have to admit I’ve gone down on this match since last time. Not by much but I definitely saw some flaws in it that prevented it from being as great as I used to think it was.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

Triple H walks to the back, gets congratulated by ARN FUCKING ANDERSON, then Vladimir Kozlov shows up to kick start their little feud that would result in one of the worst main event matches in the history of existence.

Chris Jericho Vs Shawn Michaels – World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match

I miss Mike Adamle. Bring him back as SD GM or something, with Big Johnny on Raw and have them feud. IMAGINE THE PROMOS!!! Or they could join forces to take down the new McMahon-Helmsley-Orton faction! Imagine the promos with Big Johnny, Mike Adamle and Randy Orton!!!

Man oh man was the whole HBK/Y2J 08 feud overrated to fuck :P. Started off good, all stemming from the HBK/Flair match which lead to the Batista match where HBK faked an injury and Jericho called him out on it and somehow turned heel in the process but it was all GOOD SHIT. And then it just draaaaaged on. Then at SummerSlam they did the angle with Jericho decking HBK’s wife RIGHT IN THE KISSER and things got heated up again only to die out very, very quickly and get dull as shit again. All the mediocre at best matches didn’t help (except for JD which I enjoyed).

I’ve never been overly high on this match, but at the same time I’ve never hated it. Always did think it was very good, I just never got the “GOAT ladder match/MOTY” praise it got. Half way into it so far and I am absolutely loving it though. They are just beating the absolute shit out of each other, at first by brawling and going to the outside where the ring post was used a couple of times, and then with the ladder that results in some rather nasty looking shit. Loving how this comes across as a very personal match filled with oodles of HATE~! A lot of ladder matches, some I consider the best of it’s gimmick, usually seem to be all about having a good “wrestling” match then bringing the ladder in for high spots (for the most part anyway, don’t want to generalise all ladder matches like that but you get my point). This one is different. They are trying to MURDER each other by using the ladder, and if they get the chance, claim the WHC for themselves too.

But for as much HATE~! as we get, we also get a bunch of STUPID~! thrown in too. Some immensely dumb spots, the main one being HBK ELBOW DROPPING A LADDER while it’s on top of Jericho. Yeah, hurts Jericho too, but absolutely fucks up HBK’s arm. I could have bought that Jericho put the ladder over himself to give him some protection and injure HBK at the same time… IF he had moved the ladder while HBK was in mid-move. But nope. Jericho drags the ladder over himself and THEN Shawn dives off the ropes already seeing and knowing the ladder is there. Next spot right after that? Lionsault onto a ladder while HBK is underneath. Again doing just as much damage to the person doing the move. DUMB AS SHIT. Doesn’t even really work into the HATE~! thing. I just can’t accept the old “willing to hurt himself to hurt his opponent” crap because there are smarter ways to go about hurting your opponent with the ladder and doing as little damage to yourself. Maybe if the spots were “quick thinking” type spots that are done out of desperation, but again, NOPE *insert Ambrose pic here*. They are all purposely SET UP like that. Makes me wanna scream out loud.

Both men battling it out at the top of the ladder and quite literally fighting over the belt is awesome… except for when Lance Cade runs in at one point and kinda kills it for me a little. Fuck Lance Cade. I hope he di… uhhhh yeah. Ooops :P. Lance Cade aside the tug of war finish is pretty sweet, and the entire match IS mainly very good, but fuck me those dumbarse retarded fucking spots really kill part of the match for me. Match should be a classic but instead it’s just really good. Not that that is a bad thing, but it really could have been so much better. Still liked the majority and it WAS a good main event for a pretty great PPV.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

Overall CAL SCALE – 19

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