Was gonna watch JD 00 but couldn’t be arsed to get off my arse and get the DVD, so this will do since it’s on my PC.
The Dudley Boys & APA Vs Right to Censor
They show a video before the match to explain why this match is happening. Also includes the APA dancing with 2 Cool. Bradshaw attempts a Spinaroonie. My eyes bleed. And yet it was awesome.
Anyone else kinda miss Bull Buchanan? He was a big guy who could really move and actually looked to have some talent. If only he came around 5 years later we could have gotten Bull Vs Undertaker over on SD instead of fucking Luther Reigns or some shit. Could give the Heidenrape matches some competition. Alas such a thing never happened and could never happen as I’d have better things to do should I ever invent that time machine. Any day now I swear!
RTC should reform in WWE right now. They could come out every week and fuck shit up any time they think someone is doing something non-PG. Epic heat.
Damn this match is filled with a bunch of rough and tough bastards who enjoy pummelling each other and hitting as many back suplexes as possible. And Steven Richards too of course. Val too maybe, but he’s more rough and tough than fucking Stevie. Fuck Steve btw. Fuck him to hell. I hate that name. Big Bald Bastard Steve. My now former boss was called Steve. I wanna put him through a table.
Superkick by Steven Cunt and Val gets the win for his team, but everyone keeps fighting anyway and Steven Cunt gets the fuck beaten out of him (I swear Bradshaw stiffs the ever loving fuck out of him with a punch to the face and then a kick to the back lol) and then powerbombed through a table.
Match is short and fun. No STF or any of that nonsense, just 8 men brawling.
CAL SCALE – 1
HHH is backstage with his main squeeze telling her how he’s gonna destroy Kurt Angle tonight. Stephanie says she’s sorry she ever defended Kurt and shit. Next month she manages him when he becomes the WWF Champion. Lying bitch.
Jerry “The King” Lawler Vs Tazz – Leather Strap Match
JR trash talking Tazz is probably the best part of this match. “YOU’RE WRESTLING LAWLER, NOT ME, YOU’RE WRESTLING LAWLER IN A STRAP MATCH YOU IDIOT!”
Fans are weird for this match. PPV is in Philly so obviously they have that Pro-ECW guys shit going on, but Tazz is supposed to be the heel and Lawler the face, and they don’t really seem to know what to do lol.
Tazz no sells the Piledriver. Twice. Gets up after the third one too but falls down. What? How did Lawler agree to do that spot lol.
RAVEN! Huge pop for Raven screwing the babyface lol.
Another short but fun match. JR was the MVP of it lol.
CAL SCALE – 0.5
Austin arrives backstage. Tells Kevin Kelly that tonight HE’S asking the questions. Then doesn’t ask any questions but throws KK into the wall.
Steve Blackman Vs Al Snow Vs Crash Holly Vs Perry Saturn Vs Test Vs Funaki – Hardcore Championship Invitational Match
Al Snow . As the Europeans champion he’s decided to represent a different European country every match. Tonight he’s Italy. DEAD FISH. Al Snow’s career sleeps with the fishes.
Similar to WM 2000 hardcore match, except only 10 minutes this time around and fewer people. No Mean Street Posse or Viscera already makes this shit in comparison.
SATURN JUST GAVE TRISH HEAD. AND NOW TEST GAVE TERRI HEAD. AND NOW AL HAS HEAD. Why is everyone getting head but me?
Speaking of head, I think Crash’s just got broken. Hurricanrana from the ropes was supposed to either actually happen or be reversed into a powerbomb. Neither quite happen and Crash crashes head first into the mat. Poor guy.
the camera cuts in this are hilarious. One second Al Snow has a fucking butterfly net or something going after Crash… then it switches to someone else and when we come back to them, Al is using a steel chair instead. Few moments later and… Al is holding his eyes and fuck knows why.
You know how WWE have *insert weapon here* matches? Well I want a trash can lid match. Those things sound AMAZING and you can really fucking go all out hitting someone in the head without hurting them too much. Perfect PG gimmick match.
Test sells a shot to the head from a fucking PIZZA BOX.
Blackman was awesome. Give him a big stick and plenty of people to take shots and I like fuck. He made the fucking Hardcore title CREDIBLE during his reign. Something that the title never had the moment Foley lost it the first time.
With 30 seconds left Blackman regains the belt (Crash got it first, then Saturn), and with everyone trying to win nobody will let anyone else get a pin so Blackman is able to survive. FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN.
So this match was fun and stuff. Love me some WWF 2000 Hardcore Title Matches.
CAL SCALE – 2
KURT ANGLE AND STEVE AUSTIN FIRST EVER BACKSTAGE SEGMENT . Austin’s isn’t as big as Kurt’s. So Austin is gonna store his inside Kurt’s ass.
HE’S TALKING ABOUT GOLD MEDALS. Perverts.
X-Pac Vs Chris Jericho
Oh man, the video package showing X-Pac attacking Jericho is awesome. X-Pac fucking DECKS Jericho RIGHT IN THE FACE with some nunchucks. I mean fucking BAM. BAM IN THE FACE. Looked amazingly brutal. Mr Paddy used to think nunchucks were made up .
Oh man, Jericho is fucking PISSED to start the match off, so he gets in the ring like a house on fire (which is apparently pissed off and dying to get hold of someone to beat them up) and… HEADLOCK!
Ok so the headlock was more a case of just trying to fucking catch and hold on to the quick little X-Pac bastard so he could pummel his face in.
So this is like, really fucking good. Lots of old fashioned HATE~! with both men trying to kill each other within the limitations of a basic one on one match. Hell even a sleep hold by X-Pac at one point looks deadly lol.
X-Factor gets a rather splendid near fall, and even the referee falls on his arse out of pure shock that the match didn’t end lol!!! In the end Jericho is the winner, but he’s still in a bad mood. Then he’s nearly murdered when X-Pac smacks him in the back of the head with the nunchucks LOL. Don’t remember this match being so good!
CAL SCALE – 4
COMMISSIONER FOLEY AND KURT ANGLE BACKSTAGE SEGMENT . Kurt reveals he has the shits at the Olympics. We don’t hear about that too often do we? It’s always the “BROKEN FREAKIN’ NECK” crap. Well I want more “BURNING FUCKIN’ HOLE”.
Urgh, Rock and Austin segment. SAVED BY JOE!!! Joe who, you ask? Just Joe. He’s a sorry son of a bitch. So Austin kills him. Someone has anger management problems.
Edge & Christian Vs The Hardy Boys – Steel Cage Tag Team Championship Match
Another match like the previous one where everyone fucking hates each other and… THEY SHOW THE HATE IN THE MATCH. RIGHT FROM THE START. How often these days do we get people who hate each other going out and doing fancy moves and reversals instead of, oh I don’t know, KILLING EACH OTHER? Can you imagine Punk/Lesnar from SummerSlam being a pure wrestling match?
E&C get fucking murdered right from the start and just can’t get anything going, until Jeff’s insane mind causes him to go for a Swanton off the top of the cage early on, allowing Edge to push him off to the floor! Jeff has been eliminated from the match and now this is a handicap match! Good strategy by E&C, even if Matt Hardy proceeds to murder them single handedly for the first few minutes .
I like (aka fucking hate) how Jeff just stands around on the outside watching Jeff get beat down. Uhhh… NO DQ, Jeff? GET BACK IN YOU TWAT.
He finally attempts to climb back in, but E&C find ways to smash him back to the floor. Good shizzle. Jeff takes a bunch of insane bumps despite now being OUTSIDE of the cage lol.
Jeff attacks the ref on the outside who has the key to the cage door, and throws a chair into the ring… only for E&C to get it and smash the cage door into his face then find a new chain and padlock to lock the door again. WELL DONE JEFF .
Matt takes a heluva beating in the cage, bleeds some too. E&C do a real sweet job mauling him. Loved the Poetry in Motion while mat was against the cage. His face gets SMASHED into the cage legit.
A comeback from Matt, and a ladder from Jeff help the Hardy’s get back into the match, and holy fuck, we get what might be Jeff’s best high risk bump thingy ever when he LITA IS HERE!!! FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP!!! She climbs the cage and gives Christian a fucking hurricanrana off the ladder to the floor!
Edge launches a chair right into Jeff’s face and I don’t think he quite managed to get his hands up in time. Great stuff. Speaking of great stuff, LITA . And the finish too. E&C “get theirs” and the Hardy Boys pick up the win and the tag belts, getting some redemption for all the shit E&C have put them through for the majority of the year. Excellent match.
JR: “AND YOU’VE GOT TO GIVE IT TO LITA”. Oh I’d love to, Jim. I really fucking would. DAMN YOU CM PUNK! AND EDGE! AND MATT HARDY! AND PROBABLY A “FEW” OTHERS. LITA IS A WHORE. I still want her .
CAL SCALE – 5
Steve Austin shows up looking for HHH and finds Stephanie. She has the hat he wore when he got ran over. Austin is sarcastically happy.
COMMISSIONER FOLEY AGAIN . HHH tells him he’s gonna destroy Angle. They mock how he cried at the Olympics. Foley doesn’t care what happens in the match since it’s no DQ.
Michael Cole had replaces Lawler on commentary after his strap match. Apparently he was doing so bad they got Lawler back out lol. No wonder Cole turned heel. Took him a while, but still .
Eddie Guerrero Vs Rikishi – Intercontinental Championship Match
“EDDIE JUST SPRAYED SOMETHING IN RIKISHI’S FACE!!!”
Eddie trying to break into the Playboy Mansion was hilarious. I don’t blame him either. BURN THOSE NUDES.
the video package makes Chyna look retarded. Eddie was making her entire life miserable for ages, but once he popped the question she says yes (while CRYING) and everything is fucking hunky and dory. Women and rings. Whores.
JR trying to sell us Chyna’s Playboy issue just doesn’t work. For starters, it’s Chyna naked. Secondly it’s JIM ROSS telling us how sexy it is. I’d struggle to keep it up even if it was LITA (FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP) in Playboy with JR talking about it .
Pretty certain the video package for this match (which focuses very little on Eddie/Rikishi) takes up about 10 sodding minutes.
at how Eddie reacts to nearly getting crushed by Rikishi’s ass. IT NEARLY KILLED ME!
He tries to leave but Chyna pushes him back to the ring and throws him back to Rikishi. What a bitch. He buys her a ring and she wants to see him squashed by a fatty. Then she drags Eddie out of the ring to avoid a stinkface. MAKE YO MIND UP BIACH.
THE NEVER ENDING CRACK.
Rikishi’s head pretty much breaks the steel steps.
Match is pretty much an Eddie squash match… where Eddie gets squashed by Rikishi. Then Rikishi beats up a women (well, Chyna, but you get the point).
Strange match, but was all to put over the Eddie/Chyna break up angle. I dunno, I think I kinda liked it all tbh lol. No wonder the video package before hand was so long, it had to be to explain what was happening and so you would understand the match. Whole thing probably shouldn’t have been as long but hey, it’s Eddie being a hilarious prick so I’ll let it pass .
CAL SCALE – 0.5
Undertaker is gonna take everyone on a ride tonight but they ain’t gonna like it.
Kurt Angle is breaking down backstage. Trish and her tits show up, and Kurt runs away. LOL.
Kurt Angle Vs Triple H – Special Referee Mick Foley – No DQ Match
WWF 2000 was just so damn fun, especially during the summer and this feud was a huge part of it.
Angle burriez HHH with his own Sledgehammer AND makes out with Stephanie? Lucky cunt.
Kurt Angle’s brilliant idea to make up to Stephanie after sexually assaulting her (possibly multiple times, we never did find out what happened after SummerSlam…) is to sing Happy Birthday to her. Never worked for me and doesn’t work for Kurt.
Lawler: “Hey Foley, I know it’s No DQ, but does that mean anything goes?”
Some fun brawling early on. Angle goes after the injured ribs, HHH fires back with punches that don’t look quite as bad as usual. Then Angle catches HHH with an overhead belly to belly and THE GAME is fucked. Foley nearly gets into a fight with Angle giving HHH some time to breath… until he gets another suplex from Angle .
The brawling gets progressively worse as things go on, and we also get some hilarious miss-timed spots. HHH attempts a swinging neck breaker but Kurt just keeps on running the ropes .
They do a nice little callback thingymajig with HHH going for a Pedigree on the announce table, as he did it at SS and it knocked Angle legit out. This time though Angle counters and hits an overhead belly to belly . Angle does it so he doesn’t fall back as it would probably kill him, but in the process he loses his balance and nearly crushes HHH’s head with his foot as he falls off the other table . And that was after HHH slipped and fell on Kurt after taking a low blow (which is how Angle countered the attempted Pedigree).
This whole thing just turns DULL. Reaally fucking dull. Time passes and I couldn’t tell you a damn thing that happens until Angle went for the Moonsault. at Stephanie’s low blow to Kurt. Pedigree and HHH wins. Stephanie looks conflicted. She helped her HUSBAND win a match against the guy who MIGHT HAVE RAPED HER and she isn’t sure if she did the right thing. Fucking women, man. LITA (FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP) is the only one who isn’t insane on this show. Except for the insane bump she took, but she did that for her tag team with no conflicted feelings and shit.
Horrible match overall.
CAL SCALE – 0
SHANE MCMAHON! He claims he has video footage of who ran over Steve Austin! He shows footage of Blackman running over Ken Shamrock. Which somehow proves Blackman did it. Shane is just racist.
STUNNER TO BLACKMAN. STUNNER TO SHANE WHO SPIRTS OUT BEER. Fun segment.
Rock cuts a promo. Something about nipples and funny feelings.
The Undertaker Vs The Rock Vs Kane Vs Chris Benoit – WWF Championship Match
I don’t recall this match being anything special whatsoever, but I DO recall getting a bunch of good TV matches out of it with all the guys facing each other on a couple of occasions and shit. Rock/Kane in particular having a handful of really good matches. And of course we also got 2 Undertaker/Benoit matches on TV out of it too, though Undertaker wasn’t up to really giving us anything special at the time .
Loved me some American Bad Ass theme song for ‘Taker at this time. Better than Rollin’. Not as good as YOU’RE GONNA PAY, YOU’RE GONNA PAY, THERE’S NO FORGIVENESS THIS TIME.
Anyone remember that Benoit guy? Apparently he was pretty good. But he got released in 07 and left on such bad terms WWE prefer not to mention him.
Typical 4 way match. Everyone spends time with everyone at some point and it’s just one massive brawl usually with 2 guys in the ring and 2 on the floor. Ref gets taken out and Undertaker, the BABYFACE, brings in a chair and cracks Rock in the head . Then Benoit does the same to Undertaker and WINS THE WWF TITLE!!!!!!!! BENOIT IS CHAMP! BENOIT IS CHAMPION!
Then Foley comes out and ruins the whole thing because Undertaker’s foot was on the ropes. I wish they’d make up their minds with the instant reply lol. Sometimes they’ll do it, other times they’ll ignore the shit out of it .
Bit with Benoit turning around and seeing the other 3 guys in a line waiting to beat the fuck out of him was awesome.
Match actually really picks up following the false Benoit finish. Everyone gets more intense and really lay it in to each other. Then of course they go into a nice finishing stretch featuring Rock attempting a Crossface, Rock bleeding, big chokeslame from Kane to Undertaker, Benoit breaking up a People’s Elbow , HUGE Last Ride to The Rock and more!
Benoit is pretty outstanding throughout this whole thing. Him almost winning was great, how he reacts to not winning is great, and he’s just a fucking beast at times, really taking the fight to everyone and almost winning again a couple more times. Shame he’s the one that takes the pin. Finish is a little dumb though; Kane actually prevents Undertaker from breaking up the pin. Aside from that this is pretty good. A lot better than I remembered.
CAL SCALE – 2
Overall CAL SCALE – 15