Survivor Series 2000 Ramblings

Posted on: October 27th, 2013 by Big Cal

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Survivor Series 2000

YOU WERE ALL PUPPETS. YOU WERE ALL FOOLS. YOU WERE ALL LIVING A LIE.

T&A & Trish Stratus Vs Steve Blackman, Crash Holly & Molly Holly

Mmmmm TRISH FAP FAP and MOLLY FAP FAP. Oh yeah, Molly was hot.

Dammit, why did Blackman have to be in this match? I WANT CRAZY HARDCORE TITLE MATCHES DAMMIT.

So this is happening because after the APA were taken out by T&A, they left Crash in charge… only for T&A(PA) to kick him out and take over the office. Crash is defending the honour of the APA and Blackman is randomly helping him lol.

MOLLY RIGHT ON TOP OF ALBERT. NEVER THOUGHT I’D SAY THAT! :lmao JR is awesome.

So this was ok. Kinda fun, but a complete nothing match tbh. MOLLY AND TRISH’S TITS. That’s about it.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

LOL. Angle, Edge & Christian segment. E&C are making excuses for not wanting to help him tonight in his match against THE UNDERTAKER. Angle seems oddly confident. Hmmm… I smell a screwjob…

Lo Down can’t get into the building. Good.

Road Dogg, K-Kwik, Billy Gunn & Chyna Vs The Radicals – Survivor Series Elimination Match

3 former DX members together again :mark:. And then K-Truth or R-Kwik or whatever his name is happens to be there. Hmmm…. K – KwiK. KKK. :lmao

Cool to see Road Dogg & Billy Gunn as the last 2 guys on their team when it comes down to a 3 on 2 situation. Shame nothing ever really came of DX kicking Gunn out after NWO when he got injured and lost the tag belts. I seem to remember a HEAT match with Billy and X-Pac, maybe Road Dogg too, but that was it. No real redemption or anything.

Billy Gunn ends up in a 3 on 1 situation. He loses in the end. Meh. Didn’t think much to this at all, which given some of the talent involved is a shame.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

Kane Vs Chris Jericho

So this feud started over coffee. So the match HAS to be good.

:lmao how fucking sloppy is Jericho at times *cough*most of his career*cough*? Nearly killed himself in a Lesnar-Extreme Rules 2012-over the ropes way about 2 minutes into the match. That was after he dropkicked Kane over the ropes… except he almost completely missed Kane :lmao.

GORY SPECIAL by Kane! Except he holds Jericho BY HIS FUCKING FACE. Awesome. Because Kane hates Jericho’s face. That’s what this feud is all about. That and coffee. Stephanie had taken over creative about a month earlier. Doesn’t show… :p.

Fuck me sideways and call me Mary (but only on weekends, that’s when I dress up you see), HOW FUCKING STRONG IS KANE? I know he’s always been considered one of the strongest on the roster, and I think even Undertaker said something like that in the It’s My Yard doc… but damn. There are a couple of times in the match where he absolutely POWERS up Jericho for a couple of spots when Jericho doesn’t seem to be in a good position to help out. Kane damn near presses Jericho overhead WITH ONE ARM at one point on the outside.

Jericho, aside from being a sloppy cunt (reminds me of a girl I knew… what?), is pretty good in this too. He holds his own during a couple of brawling sequences in convincing ways, and I love his comeback. Catches Kane coming off the ropes with a dropkick, catches a big boot from kick and sweeps the legs out and then builds his offence from there as we go into a finish.

The big red coffee monster wins in the end with a sweet chokeslam. Good match, wasn’t expecting much from anything on this show aside from Rock/Rikishi and Undertaker/Angle, so this was a nice surprise.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

William Regal Vs Hardcore Holly – WWF European Championship Match

ANDY IS GOD sign in the crowd. So he was always awesome, huh?

:lmao Holly takes what might be the slowest “shoulder to the ringpost” spot ever. Guess he is nervous due to only recently returning from his broken arm.

Some nice STIFFNESS in this. One spot where Holly blasts Regal in the face a couple of times, so Regal just decks him with an elbow to the face. Holly stops punching.

Lawler doesn’t think we have BBQ sauce in the UK. Moron. We just don’t have the weather for BBQ’s! :p

Regal tries to destroy Holly’s bad arm, and in the end Holly gets pissed off and blasts Regal with the European title belt and gets DQ’d. Eh match. Crowd shit on it, and it’s a little dull too.

Rating: *1/2
CAL SCALE – 0

TRISH FAP FAP TITS FAP FAP. She is throwing herself at Angle, but he thinks she’s offering him the services of T&A.

Rikishi Vs The Rock

I DID IT, FOR THE ROCK. BUT REALLY, I DID IT FOR HHH. BECAUSE I WASN’T GETTING OVER ENOUGH AS A HEEL.

I’M A BAAAAD MAN.

HHH drove a car past Rock 6 days ago… and Rikishi was hanging out of the window with a sledgehammer and smashed it into Rock’s gut. Then Rock wrestled BENOIT on SD and Rikishi crushed him with a Bonzai drop. Guy’s ribs gotta be FUCKED, right? 10 seconds into the match and Rock hits a Samoan Drop on RIKISHI as if nothing happened. WHAT A CUNT.

Rock finally sells the fucking ribs once Rikishi starts to maul them. SLEDGEHAMMER comes out but doesn’t get used and instead Rikishi gets a Rock Bottom. Thankfully Rock doesn’t get the win (yet… *sigh) because he’s too hurt and the referee was taken out on the outside and takes his time getting his arse back in the ring. Fuck me, Rikishi was down for about a minute after the Rock Bottom and still barely kicked out at 2. Would have been a bigger injustice than Booker T at WM 19 if he lost to that. Then again Booker didn’t deserve to win at WM 19 so fuck how long it took HHH to cover him which wasn’t even that long anyway just a bunch of cunts make it out to be 5 minutes or some shit. Get a life you twats. Booker T sucks.

Fuck me, Rikishi hits a Samoan Drop then does that sit down splash thingy and Rock kicked out at 2 with no time between the move and the cover. Yet a Rock Bottom to a perfectly healthy Rikishi nearly ended the match after like 2 minutes of resting between the move and the pin? BUUUUULLLSHIT.

Yes! Shove your fat arse in Rock’s face! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH RIKISHI IS THE GOAT. THIS IS AWESOME CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP THIS IS AWESOME CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP.

Lol, Rock didn’t like that. He EXPLODES out of the corner with a clothesline and Rikishi does the awesome inside out bump off it :mark:. I always told you Rock was obsessed with men’s arses. Rikishi shoves his in Rock’s face and BAM, guy is making a comeback. Energised him. LOL.

Damn lol, Rikishi really sells the People’s Elbow. Guy is having a spasm on the mat. So that ends the match. This… this wasn’t as good as I remembered. Still solid shit and whatnot, but eh, not quite what I remembered.

Best part is after the match, where Rikishi fucking murders Rock with numerous Bonzai Drops.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

Ivory Vs Lita – WWF Women’s Championship

LITA :mark: FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

I stopped masturbating for like 2 seconds and saw about 10 botches in a row :lmao. Just one long sequence that was botched every step of the way :lmao. Then Ivory gets in control and things go smoothly :lmao. Sorry Lita, I love ya, but damn you botched the shit out of EVERYTHING in this one.

LITA gets busted open :(. Poor Lita. I’LL SAVE YOU.

Moonsault, Steven Richards pulls Ivory out of the ring and Lita is laid flat on the mat (uhhh… yey?).

LITA TAKES HER TOP OFF.

Moonsault and Ivory… does something (nobody knows if she got the knees up or got the title belt up lol) and LITA loses :(. Replay shows it was a mixture of both.

If it wasn’t for LITA this would be the worst thing ever.

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

Jericho attacks Kane!!! THEY AIN’T DONE WITH THEIR FEUD!!! NOBODY GETS OVER SPILT COFFEE IN JUST ONE MATCH!

Kurt Angle Vs The Undertaker – WWF Championship Match

IT’S TIME FOR THE GOLDEN BOY TO TAKE HIS LAST RIDE.

Man, Undertaker is playing MIND GAMES right from the start by having a prolonged entrance (LOL considering what he does now I know). His music keeps playing while he’s in the ring and he grabs the WWF title from the referee and poses with it, and doesn’t even take his coat off. He’s making Angle, THE CHAMPION, wait until he’s ready, because he’s the fucking DEAD MAN and this is his 10th year since he debuted and he’s the fucking MAN.

Angle refuses to get in the ring even after the music stops because, well, Undertaker is fired up and would destroy him from the get go. So Undertaker brings in a chair, throws it to Angle and lets him BLAST HIM in the back before the bell. Angle thinks he got the better end of the deal… until Undertaker fires back and shows Angle that not even a fucking STEEL CHAIR can even the odds for him.

Moment where Angle realises the chair didn’t mean shit is awesome. He’s been punching Undertaker in the FACE repeatedly since the chair shot, and actually tires himself out from all the punching… only to look up and see Undertaker stand up straight and tell him to bring it. AWESOME. Move aside, LITA, I’m fapping to this instead!!! :p

:lmao Angle is tremendous at some of his reactions in this. The one I just mentioned, plus when Undertaker is chasing him down you can hear him scream “YOU GET AWAY FROM ME!”, and then when Undertaker catches him on the outside to smash his back into the ring post he’s screaming “oh god no” and looks like he’s about to cry :lmao. Goofy Angle who could go in the ring without spamming moves was great.

Whole story of this match seems to be that Undertaker is the 10 year veteran and he just HAS Angle’s number. Kurt keeps fighting but Undertaker keeps putting him down. So Angle has to resort to other measures, such as an Edge & Christian run in that costs Undertaker TWO separate victories. The legs of Undertaker keep coming into play too, as Angle already knows they are the weak point as they were a major factor in their first PPV match back at Fully Loaded (FULLY LOADED :mark: ).

Dammit, got all excited for the Tombstone but they just teased me :(.

Angle goes under the ring, Undertaker brings him back out and hits a Last Ride, ref counts 1… ref counts 2… ref stops! Then Angle runs in and rolls up Undertaker for the win! WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!?!?!

Eric Angle, that’s what just happened! And the tradition of screw job finishes at Survivor Series continues! :p

Yeah, this match is still great.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

Edge & Christian & The Goodfather & Bull Buchanan Vs The Dudley Boys & The Hardy Boys – Survivor Series Elimination Match

Well damn, I forgot Bull and Goodfather were actually TAG CHAMPS at one point.

QUADRUPLE DDT~!

EDGEAMATIC~!

LONGEST TAG TEAM MIS-COMMUNICATION SPOT SEQUENCE EVER~!

Finish is the dumbest shit ever. Goodfather clotheslines Val, falls over and gets pinned.

Match has some fun moments but otherwise is a giant load of nothing. Val and Stevie go through tables.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

Steve Austin Vs Triple H – No DQ Match

Trips has a cool non lyrical version of MY TIME for his theme here. Makes him seem like a real bad cunt, which I guess was the point. HE TRIED TO DROP THINGS ON AUSTIN’S HEAD.

So this is a yawnathon. Most interesting fight here is Austin Vs Timekeeper’s Table.

Match “ends” when Austin dumps HHH upside down in a car from like 20ft using a forklift. And HHH comes back like 2 weeks later as if nothing happened. Hilarious.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

Overall CAL SCALE – 6

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