No Way Out 2000
This is my nightmare… AND I DECIDE WHEN I WAKE UP!
Kurt Angle Vs Chris Jericho – WWF Intercontinental Championship Match
Jericho kicks Kurt right in the face on a moonsault attempt off the steel steps.
at Tim White not giving a shit what they are doing on the outside because he’s quite clearly having a conversation on his head piece.
Oh hey Jericho, are you aware of selling? Because your arm was in trouble about 10 seconds ago and here you are hitting a fucking double arm back breaker. Knob. Yeah, I’m complaining about someone no selling in a Kurt Angle match and it’s NOT Kurt Angle!
Fuck me, he does it again. This time with a fucking double powerbomb. Oh but he holds his arm afterwards, so that makes it alright I guess…
At least Angle is on top of his game for the most part. He keeps going back to the arm in hopes that it’ll actually weaken and Jericho might fucking sell the damn thing.
OLYMPIC SLAM! And Jericho kicks out. Because even in 2000 his finisher was fucking useless…
at Angle trying to deck Chyna with the European title belt. WHAT A GUY! Then Chyna gets blasted into the steel steps by Jericho. Lionsault, title belt to the face, and Angle is now the EuroContinental Champion!
Solid match overall but definitely has its problems (Jericho…). Their KOTR match later in the year would be better.
Earl Hebner comes down to dispute the decision… and Tim White fucking ignores him and buggers off .
CAL SCALE – 1
The Dudley Boys Vs The New Age Outlaws – WWF Tag Team Championship Match
Shame Billy went into this match already injured, a proper PPV tag team match between these two teams could have been fucking tremendous. Always wondered how the tag division would have been had Billy not been injured and the Outlaws were still together the entire year. Would the “3 team” thing have still been just that? Would the Outlaws have been inserted into the Dudleys/Hardys/E&C feud?
All the times I watched this match in the past I never knew or noticed that Billy was injured going in. Then after watching a shoot where Billy says it, I can’t help but notice that he never uses his left arm, he holds it in pain after the first exchange before the bell, and spends the majority of the match on the apron.
Match is odd, given that both teams are heels, and the injured Billy didn’t help. It is pretty amazing to see Billy get the hot tag and fucking OWN the Dudley Boys with one hand . Then he gets dragged to the outside and hit in the shoulder with a pipe. 3-D to Road Dogg who isn’t even the legal man and the titles change hands! Road Dogg is upset. They split up following this, and Billy gets beat up and kicked out of DX on Raw either the next night or a week or so later following surgery.
CAL SCALE – 0
Mark Henry Vs Viscera
Match is happening because Viscera gave MAE YOUNG a big splash. While she was pregnant with Mark’s child. So is THAT the reason she only have birth to a hand?
TAKER GET WELL sign in the crowd .
there is a faint chant in the crowd and I swear I thought they were saying “Daniel Bryan” at first.
2 big beefie bastards battling it out here. Yeah it’s not the best example of such a thing but it’s still fun to me. Henry takes about 2 or 3 huge bumps into the steel steps and the ref doesn’t give a fuck . Boring chant starts up. Cunts.
SAMOAN DROP TO MARK HENRY. BY VISCERA. BIG BEEFIE DROP.
Mae Young shows up to check on Mark. She gets shoved down and Big Vis sets up another splash! SCOOP SLAM! 1…2..3…what? LOL.
CAL SCALE – 0
The Hardy Boys Vs Edge & Christian – #1 Contendership Match
APA . Shame they are just there to protect Terri, who has returned tonight after the Dudley Boys put her through a table.
the ref actually gets too distracted to make a pin because Jeff is taking off his top . Guess he’s gay for Jeff. I’m gay for Moleman.
Ok, so this match. Best I can come up with is that both teams are still babyface, and are sort of friends, and have a sort of “friendly rivalry” going on. Both want to be the #1 tag team, and both want to really get “made” and shit. So both teams here are just going all out to prove they deserve the title shot and as a result a lot of it is really back and forth stuff. On paper it makes sense and I’m fine with what it seems like they were trying to achieve… but fuck me it’s terribly done lol.
Whole thing feels like some move exhibition from both teams as they go back and forth trying to show everyone what they can do. They are just using this match as a chance to show off, nothing more. It feels awkward at times and the whole structure of the match comes across as one giant motherfucking mess.
And how LONG is this match? 15 minutes? Feels like an hour. It just draaaaaaaaags like fuck. Then Terri screws the Hardy Boys out of the win. APA kill the Hardy Boys. That’s that. Hardy Boys still get a title shot at WM along with E&C so this was UTTERLY POINTLESS in the long run too .
CAL SCALE – 0.5
Tazz Vs The Big Bossman
NOB. Signs were awesome in the AE.
So this starts off as a fun little brawl… then about 2 minutes in Prince Albert attacks Tazz and they double team him. They keep beating him down but Tazz keeps getting back up. Until they BREAK A NIGHT STICK over his head.
Wish it went longer.
CAL SCALE – 0
X-Pac Vs Kane – No Holds Barred Match
How the fuck did Kane get a girlfriend? And one that looks like Tori? What’s wrong me me?
Later in the year, X-Pac would have a great fight with Jericho. Kane would have a great fight with Jericho. So can they have a great fight against each other? I hope so .
Oh man, Paul Bearer is the GOAT. X-Pac decks, and I mean fucking DECKS Kane with the ring bell and grabs a steel chair, so Paul Bearer charges at X-Pac, knocks the chair out of his hand and forces X-Pac to the floor, the proceeds to pummel his face in!!! Then Tori tries to make the save so Bearer chases her around the ring .
“KANE’S FACE IS HORRIFYING, WHO KNOWS WHAT HIS THINGY LOOKS LIKE!”
Kane is booked as a fucking MONSTER here, just sitting up constantly regardless of what X-Pac throws at him. Ring bell. Low blow. X-Factor. Kane is on FIRE! Uhhh… you know what I mean.
X-Pac, despite having his offence rendered useless is good too, and his moves that he uses to get Kane down now and then all look legit in the sense that you could believe he can take out Kane with them.
CHOKESLAME TO X-PAC. TOMBSTONE TO TORI!
Steel steps into Kane’s face, X-Pac jumps on top and gets the 3. They’d have to finish their long standing feud at WM… in a fucking TAG MATCH. With Rikishi. Because that makes sense.
This was enjoyable. Nothing on the 2 Jericho matches I mentioned, but a good affair still.
CAL SCALE – 1
2 Cool & Rikishi Vs Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko & Perry Saturn
Dean Malenko is apparently so dull, even SilverVision forgot to include his name in the match listing on the back of the DVD .
Eddie Guerrero brings some “moral support” for his friends since he’s still recovering from a dislocated arm. The moral support is a pipe. Rikishi takes him out before the match starts so 2 Cool are safe for now.
STINK FACE TO BENOIT. And that’s where his missing tooth went .
Rikishi sells his injured leg really well. HE SELLS IT WHILE RUNNING THE ROPES. Not often I see that tbh.
Malenko is pretty awesome in this. He just keeps running in and decking people. First with a dropkick to Rikishi’s bad leg, then he fucking blasts Scotty in the face with a clothesline to break up a Worm attempt. Malenko needs to just stay on the apron and run in randomly. He’d be remembered better if he did that .
*Benoit chops the shit out of Scotty* JR: “Man that just KILLS you” Lawler: “That’s why they call him th crippler!” OH THE FORSHADOWING!
Rikishi gets the hot tag and STILL sells the leg and does it extremely well too. Yeah he does some fast moving shit, but he actually sells the leg while doing it. You can clearly see him limping as he runs. More people need to learn how to sell the leg like that.
THE WORM! W! O! R! M! PLUS 3 MORE LETTERS BECAUSE THE FANS HAVEN’T STARTED THE LETTER CHANT YET SO SCOTTY DOES A FEW MORE HOPS LOL!
BONZAI! Rikishi pins Malenko.
So this is good. And fun and shit. I liked it quite a bit. I always kinda dreaded watching this, every time I’ve watched the event. I don’t know why. Plenty of talent in the match and shit. Hell even now I’ve watched it again and like it, the match still doesn’t appeal to me on paper lol. Crazy.
CAL SCALE – 2
The Rock Vs The Big Show – WrestleMania Title Shot On the Line
So The Big Show wins the RR. But The Rock is announced the winner. Big Show PROVES IT. undoubtedly. He doesn’t act like a cunt. He just wants what is rightfully his. And The Rock treats him like a fucking piece of shit and the fans turn on him. So Show is now the heel because… I dunno.
Plus, how can you hate a guy with THIS facial hair?
AE style brawling on the outside to start things, but both guys take some pretty sweet bumps that puts it ahead of the usually crappy outside brawling. Show takes a cool looking back body drop over the barricade to the floor for instance, and Rock takes a clothesline from Show on the concrete that looks NASTY. Always been a fan of this match all things considering (Rock being involved…), and so far it’s looking to hold up nicely. And when you’ve seen a match a bunch of times that’s all you can ask for .
Show goes retarded and attempts to deck Rock with a chair (ha, deck, chair… get it?). IT WILL GET YOU DQ’D YA DUMB GIANT. Then Rocky smacks into the ref and good old Earl Hebner just fucking goes for it and lobs himself outside . Tim White comes down to make a cover, Earl pulls him out and they argue. SHANE MCMAHON IS BACK! He encourages Tim White to beat up Earl (seriously wtf is going on? ). People’s Elbow! CHAIR TO THE ROCK’S HEAD BREAKING UP THE PEOPLE’S ELBOW! GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! Show wins! Show wins! Show wins! Big Show is going to WrestleMania!!!
All in all this is good shit. Good brawling, Show does fine in control, ref stuff is hilarious, and Shane O’Mac screwing The Rock out of his WM title shot makes me . Shame it didn’t stick .
CAL SCALE – 2
Triple H Vs Cactus Jack – WWF Title Vs Career Hell in a Cell Match
Cactus MUST win the WWF title here or else his career is OVER *wink wink*.
at JR and Lawler being all super serious and talking about how dangerous this match is going to be and how Foley’s career could be over… then they randomly switch to Angle backstage being all happy and getting attacked by Jericho and thrown in the trunk of his car . Talk about a mood killer .
Speaking of killer, DAMN at Stephanie. I mean DAMN.
So the big story going into this one is how Cactus plans on jumping off the top of the cell right onto HHH… so HHH has the door padlocked up about 10 times! Poor Cactus can’t leave now! Or can he…?
Sweet mother of Jebus, that steel steps spot. HHH just LAUNCHES them into the face of Cactus. And Cactus runs head first into them. Glorious. Then he runs head first into a chair shot. No wonder the guy was driving for like 40 minutes going nowhere because he couldn’t remember where he lived. He’s had more brain cells killed from chair shots than Andy & Craig have killed via alcohol COMBINED. Yes, COMBINED. Guy should be a fucking vegetable.
Lawler busts out a great line about cactus having magnets implanted into his head years ago because it’s attracted to metal objects. I think this match alone proves that lol .
Can’t help but laugh at the elbow spot off the ropes with a chair, where the chair smashes back into Foley’s face. Injures him for real, but the way it happens is just funny. To me anyway. I’m a sick twat .
CACTUS JUST MADE HIMSELF A DOOR! As well as wrestling a HIAC match, Cactus also found the time for some Carpentry. Impressive!
Ok not really, he just threw the steps through the cell and created a way out. Piledriver on the table, and Cactus slowly begins to climb the cell! STEPHANIE! YEY! YUM YUM! Bah, she stops Foley from climbing the cell.
at HHH diving over the barricade to escape the 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. Awesome.
CAPTAIN BANG BANG! wasn’t that like, Bart’s stage name as a male stripper in a random flash forward thingy that Marge has in an episode of The Simpsons?
OH MY GOD CACTUS HAS BROKEN IN HALF! He falls off the cell through a table, but eh, it doesn’t quite have the impact of previous falls. The HBK one looked better. The Mankind one obviously looked better, as did the other Mankind one from the Kane match that most people forget about. Still, MAN GO THROUGH TABLE FROM GREAT HEIGHT. ME LIKELY. EEEE SEEE DUB! EEEE SEEE DUB!
at Cactus nearly killing JR and Lawler when he tries to throw a chair up to the top of the cell and it keeps missing and landing on the announcers table. In the end he gives up .
Oh man, HHH nearly falling through the cell in the corner is a scary yet cool moment. Wonder if it was meant to be like that or not. Imagine if HHH fell through the corner and like, just landed on the floor? No reign of terror in 03!
LOOK AT THESE TWO MEN. LOOK AT WHAT THEY’VE DONE TO EACH OTHERS’ BODIES!
OH MY GOD THAT 2X4 IN BARBED WIRE IS BURNING!
OH MY GOD! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! THE CAGE BROKE, THE RING BROKE, AND CACTUS JACK HAS BROKEN IN HALF!!!
I miss the ring breaking that way. When was the last time it happened? I can only remember the 2 times when the ring literally broke, but not like a hole in the mat. Oh yeah, Undertaker Vs Edge HIAC, right? And that was kinda done crappy. This is probably the best instance of it. Think it happened like 2 more times later in the year, both by Kane chokeslamming Undertaker .
Cactus is still moving! Damn, what a tough bastard. He won’t give up his lifelong dream like that.
Pedigree. Lifelong dream over. Great, great match no doubt, but I do feel the finish kinda falls flat (ha) after the cage bump. Probably should have ended with HHH pinning him there, rather than Cactus getting back up only to be punched a few times and then Pedigreed. Seemed unnecessary to me. But aside from that this match is tremendous. Not as good as the Street Fight, but damn this is a brutal battle.
CAL SCALE – 7
Overall CAL SCALE – 13.5