Insurrextion 2000 Ramblings

Posted on: December 2nd, 2013 by Big Cal

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Insurrextion 2000

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR A MUTINY.

2 Cool Vs Perry Saturn & Dean Malenko

2 Cool should probably be my all time favourite tag team. Why? It’s 2 white guys who can’t dance for shit. THAT’S LIKE ME!!! :p

Great tag work from Malenko and Saturn. They keep taunting GMS forcing him to run into the ring and distract the ref, allowing them to double team THE WORM. But there is some DISSENTION between them as of late because Saturn is the only Radical without a title. He ends up shoving Malenko at one point, right into a roll up!

DOUBLE WORM!!! :lmao at Saturn selling it and falling into the camera man.

HIP HOP DROP! This one is over.

Decent tag, fun, nothing more tbh. Hot crowd which helps too. Malenko and Saturn go at it after the match lol.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

VINCE MCMAHON! He actually flew to England! Yey! He’s disappointed that The Rock is the new WWF Champion. Me too, Vince. Me too.

Bull Buchanan Vs Kane

Remember when Bossman and Buchanan took out Kane? I do, but I doubt many other people will :p.

Kane’s left hand is in a cast thingy still.

Paul Bearer; HE’S 6 FEET WIDE, FACE LIKE A WELL KEPT GRAVE :lmao

Bull kinda lands on his feet from a back body drop which is cool to see from a guy of his size. Then he hits a DDT and Kane doesn’t quite go with it. He’s like half a second behind lol :p.

Buchanan should come back and join THE SHIELD. He’s already got the outfit. Can replace Reigns while Reigns turns face and rocks the mother fucking world.

One handed chokeslam while I was writing that last sentence and this is over. SALAD DODGER! Too short to be anything.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

HHH and STEPHANIE FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP backstage. Damn, Steph got them LEGS on display. They are wondering who Vince meant earlier when he said a McMahon family member would leave champion. Did he mean HHH… or did he mean SHANE?

Road Dogg Vs Bradshaw

Have I mentioned yet how much I love the DX theme from this time? I have? Well good, because it’s awesome. Yey TORI coming to the ring with Road Dogg. Don’t need X-Pac to see her :D.

JR: SHE BELONGS ON PAGE 3. I am in agreement Mr Ross.

COME ON, BARK JR! :lmao

Road Dogg and Tori are MAD OVER.

:mark: Bradshaw. Can you believe that the APA only have 3 tag matches on PPV in 2000? And 5 matches in total with them being in the hardcore match at WM and then this. WE MAY SEE A TORI SANDWICH WITH ACOLYTE BREAD! Ha, sex joke.

Farooq gets ejected from ring side :(.

Doesn’t help Road Dogg though, because Bradshaw is a killer anyway :p.

BRADSHAW DID A FLOAT OVER SUPLEX. Think about it. Then be shocked.

Oh man watching this match is hilarious thinking back to all the Road Dogg shoots where he talks about being terrified of the guy because he was so stiff in the ring :lmao.

HOLY SHIT ROAD DOGG WINS. CLEAN! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING WITH HIS FINISHER! This was fun. Bradshaw beats the fuck out of Road Dodd, and Road Dogg gets a couple of shots in here and there. APA stuff, singles or tag, is always entertainment.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Terri with her tits nearly popping out eating a banana. Wonder what they are trying to do here? That face ruins everything though.

The Kat Vs Terri – Arm Wrestling Contest

:lmao no. Wait… I feel I need to watch this… but why?

Stalling… stalling… stalling… stalling… think I made a mistake here… more stalling… arm wrestling… spit in face, water bottle in face… Kat wins…

THE KAT’S TITS! THE KAT’S TITS! ALL NAKED AND OUT AND STUFF!!!

Except we don’t see them. Not on the DVD release anyway. It’s time like this I’m glad I have other versions of the show ;).

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

The Dudley Boys Vs Rikishi & The Big Show

SHOWKISHI~!

This is dull as fuck for the most part tbh… but one think I did take notice of was when the Dudley’s hit the headbutt to groin spot, and Lawler describes it as D-Von going head first into “the old Jack Swaggs” :lmao. IS SWAGGER NAMED AFTER BALLS? :lmao

Edge & Christian show up and Bubba gets speared. Lawler: “THEY’RE DOING A RUN ON! IT’S A RUN ON!” :lmao what a fucking moron.

2 Cool come down and everyone dances. Yawn at this match.

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

Chris Benoit Vs Kurt Angle

6 days after Backlash, and poor Benoit still has a killer black eye that’s STILL swelled up.

:lmao another Angle = Cody reference! “I’VE BEEN IN ENGLAND ALL WEEK LONG, AND I COULDN’T HELP BUT NOTCIE ONE THING. YOUR CHILDREN” :lmao you sick fuck Angle. You too Cody. :p

Crash Holly… randomly… comes down to ringside to do commentary. No idea.

Oh, he wants to fight an Englishman for the hardcore title. Wonder who it’ll be…

So Angle Vs Benoit on “PPV” in 2000 huh? They have 2 matches at Insurrextion, one this year and one next year. This one is often forgotten about because, well, so far the event in general is forgettable plus they weren’t feuding during this time.

Angle is as un-Olympic as he’s ever been here. EYE GOUGING~!

Mostly a brawl with Angle going after the eye, and honestly it’s quite fun. :lmao at Angle using his free hand to shove the referee’s finger into Benoit’s eye to escape the crossface :lmao.

Nice little sequence leading into the Angle slam with Angle dodging a couple of bunches and countering into the Angle Slam. Match isn’t a classic or anywhere near, but for the time it got they really worked the eye injury and it was done pretty nicely. I like this.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

The British Bulldog Vs Crash Holly – WWF Hardcore Championship Match

Well seems we’ve found an Englishman to fight Crash lol.

Crash throws a bunch of weapons into the ring including a rubbish bin, but you can see it rolling outside on the other side of the ring. BUT you also see a camera man reach out to stop it. Then 2 seconds later you see that it’s no longer in the ring. THE FUCK DID THE GUY DO? :lmao

:lmao all the weapons look like cheap versions of the American stuff. The “trash can” is some plastic shit, the steel chair is also plastic I’m fairly certain :lmao. Even the sticks look really thin and cheap :lmao. Where the fuck did they show for this crap? B&Q 8*D. Looks like shit but costs a fortune, so they probably thought it must be good for that price. Morons.

Powerslam on some sticks and we got a new hardcore champion. Well this was wank.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

Edge & Christian earlier today signing autographs for £5. BARGAIN!

The Hardy Boys Vs Edge & Christian – WWF Tag Team Championship Match

:lmao apparently E&C got facials after getting stinkfaced last week. I ain’t touching that one.

I’M NOT INTO MENS HAIR LIKE YOU ARE.

Not much to ramble on here, because I was actually just WATCHING THE MATCH. Gets a lot of time and is, well, really fucking good. End with E&C using the ring bell to lay out the Hardy Boys and get DQ’d as they were just about to lose the belts.

Dudley’s show up to gain revenge for what happened earlier. :lmao cheap looking shitty table too. It can barely stand up :lmao. Edge through the table.

This match might save the show from being the worst of 2000. In fact, it HAS. Still 2nd atm but who knows what else is still to come :p.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

Eddie Guerrero Vs Chris Jericho – WWF European Championship Match

:lmao at the hype video for this. ITS FAR FROM OVER BETWEEN JERICHO AND EDDIE GUERRERO & CHYNA! Except Jericho moved straight into a feud with Benoit afterwards for the IC title (which he now has), and only gets his “revenge” match on a UK PPV :p. Well a TV match too but come on, a TV match? LOL

Eddie is heel. Randomly. Wasn’t he like, babyface going into Backlash?

:lmao a COIN FLIP to decide which title is up for grabs :lmao.

Jericho dominates at the start so Eddie decides to fuck off. And then Chyna throws Eddie back to the ring. Uhhh what?

SPINNING HEEL KICK FROM JERICHO. And I’m fairly certain it was his BACK that actually connected with Eddie :lmao.

Chyna clotheslines Jericho on the outside. So she’s fine with helping Eddie CHEAT to win, but getting counted out to retain the title is a no no?

:lmao at Lawler just throwing out random basic Spanish words in an attempt to prove to JR he can speak Spanish.

The crowd don’t give a SHIT about this. Just like in 97, except in 97 they were having incredible matches.

DDT TO JERICHO BY CHYNA. That’s how Eddie won the European title to begin with. Because apparently Chyna’s DDT is more devastating than anyone else’s.

OMG JERICHO KICKED HOW WHO COULD HAVE GUESSED HE WOULDN’T LOSE THE SAME WAY AS BEFORE I FOR ONE AM UTTERLY SHOCKED HOW DID HE MANAGE TO DO THAT THEY TOTALLY GOT ME I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER RIGHT THEN AND THERE OMG OMG I’M MARKING OUT BRO.

Title belt to the face and THAT ends the match.

Dead crowd certainly doesn’t help, but eh, it’s not like they were setting the world on fire.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

STEPHANIE FAP FAP FAP FAP looking super hot. HHH and Shane are there too. Not hot. They can’t decide which one is gonna be the WWF Champ.

The Rock Vs Triple H Vs Shane McMahon – WWF Championship Match

COME ON, GET HIM TRIPLE H. YEAH! Vince has such an awesome face while he says that.

Rock gets Lawler’s crown and puts it on Shane, then punches him in the face. So was that like, Rock taking a shot at the UK? Cunt. DON’T YOU PUNCH THE QUEEN!

:lmao at Shane and HHH just having fun doing some shuffling and punching. And these are the HEELS? I don’t get it.

Then The Rock does it, but he ends up just stealing Dusty’s move and bionic elbow. GET YOUR OWN SHIT YOU HACK. Then again your own shit is the People’s Elbow, and how fucking shit is that? Makes THE WORM look credible.

HHH and Shane play nice for a while, until Shane breaks up a 3 count and then attacks HHH from behind! MOONSAULT! HHH moves, but Shane lands on his feet!!! :lmao at HHH SHOUTING to Rock “DDT” and then Rock hits a DDT :lmao.

:lmao at Shane going for a Pedigree, but he can’t do it because he isn’t strong enough.

REF BUMP~!

Rock gets LAID OUT… with the WOMEN’S TITLE BELT :lmao. Take that you prick. GERALD BRISCO!

LOW BLOW! PEDIGREE! SLOW COUNT FROM BRISCO FOR SOME REASON! 2 COUNT! BOOOOO!

:lmao HHH decks Brisco. SECOND PEDIGREE! But no referee, so Vince steals the ref shirt… but EARL HEBNER SHOWS UP!!! Vince punches the ring post aiming for Earl!

EARL HEBNER IN EARL’S COURT! LET’S GO EARL! LET’S GO EARL!

:lmao at the chase scene with Vince going after Earl. ROCK BOTTOM!

Shitty People’s Elbow to Shane and this one is done. Terrible, terrible finish, but god what a fun match. I mean super fun. MCMAHON SHANANIGANS are always amazing.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

Overall CAL SCALE – 7.5

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