King of the Ring 2001 PPV Ramblings

Posted on: January 12th, 2014 by Big Cal

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King of the Ring 2001

‘TAKER, I’M BEGGING YA… MAKE ME FAMOUS!!!

I don’t think I’ve ever been happier knowing that the main event here is an uneventful triple threat (based on last viewing of course). Why? Because for some reason I had it in my head that this was the KOTR with Undertaker Vs HHH :|.

PPV kicks off with DDP’s music playing (how the fuck did he get someone to do that btw lol?) and him running through the crowd into the ring. He wants to let Undertaker know that he has arrived. New drinking game: take a shot every time DDP says “I mean” during this promo.

Kurt Angle Vs Christian – King of the Ring Semi Final Match

Holy mother of jebus. THAT THROW by Angle. Gonna gif that bad boy:

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Some pretty loud “Let’s go Angle” chants. Cheering Angle over Christian? MONSTERS!!!

Well I can’t blame em. I was high on Kurt during this time. I still like a bulk of his 2001 work too. Just the Benoit stuff that is EXTREMELY hit and miss lol.

Match is… solid. Nothing more really until the finishing stretch. Angle gets the Ankle Lock on Christian, so Christian literally CRAWLS OVER THE REFEREE to reach the ropes :lmao. Sweet Angle Slam counter into the UNPRETTIER, then SHANE MCMAHON pulls Christian out and allows Angle to win this match and advance to the KOTR Finals! Why? To make sure Angle will have already wrestled 2 matches before their street fight later tonight.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

KURT ANGLE HAS BUTT IMPLANTS. Non PG signs = :mark:.

Edge Vs Rhyno – King of the Ring Semi Final Match

I miss Rhyno. I miss Rhyno as hardcore champion. I miss the hardcore title. I miss hardcore matches. This should have been a hardcore title match. Who is the hardcore champion at this time?

Rhyno should have won KOTR. I mean, did it REALLY do anything for Edge? The Invasion Angle pretty much began at this show with Booker T showing up in the main event, so everything was focused there. Then E&C broke up so Edge feuded with Christian. Then he won the IC title and feuded with Regal. All these things could have and probably would have been done regardless of the KOTR victory. Rhyno winning KOTR could have kept him around in a more active role. Plus, the WWF KOTR winner in the Alliance? Could have been something to work off too.

These two go back to when they were first getting into the business and know each other really well, and work really well together too. Some really good stuff from the two. Edge busts out some shit he doesn’t usually do and Rhyno looks like a threat to win the KOTR.

SPEAR! GORE! AT THE SAME TIME! HEADBUTT EACH OTHER! Man, we need duelling Spear spots more often. Big Show uses a sort of spear, and Reigns uses a spear. Imagine those two crashing into each other? :mark:

An exposed turnbuckle that Rhyno tried to use ends up being his downfall, and one DDT later sees Edge as the winner. Good stuff.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

The Dudley Boys Vs Spike & Kane – WWF Tag Team Championship Match

Urgh, Dudleys Vs Spike feud. God, Spike sucked so bad. Was he ever good? And yey, Kane is in this match. Which means no IC title match on the card. WHAT A GREAT USE OF KANE.

:lmao at Bubba launching Spike into Kane… only for Kane to catch him and lob him back, where poor Bubba isn’t strong enough to stay on his feet.

Spike is at least amusing to see get killed. Bubba powers him around like a little bitch. D-Von… well he does stuff too I’m sure. Tag to Kane. He kills D-Von with a punch. A nasty looking punch though. Really nasty. So nasty it looks like D-Von is out of it lol.

Oh hey, just noticed Teddy is the ref. CLOUD NINE FOR TEDDY LONG.

I swear the ONLY things Spike adds to this match is being lobbed around like a loser. I mean that in a good way, though.

3-D and Spike loses. Table comes out and Kane puts Bubba through it.

Entertaining enough.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Kurt Angle Vs Edge – King of the Ring Finals Match

Angle tries to convince Edge to lay down for him so Edge doesn’t have to get his BUTT KICKED by Angle, and Angle can rest up for his street fight later. For some reason Edge doesn’t go along with it.

OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY OVER THE ROPES!

Edge’s ribs or something near there be injured going into this match after Rhyno gave him a good going over in their previous match. So Angle’s crazy suplex offence kinda works here and… oh wait, sleeper. GOTTA GET THAT SLEEPER HOLD IN. Ok, that works too given Edge’s “injury” but still. YAWNATHON.

Pretty awesome sequence going from an Angle Slam attempt into a DDT attempt into an Ankle Lock attempt into a pin.

CHRISTIAN! He’s here to help Edge, but it doesn’t work so he just goes back up the ramp lol.

REF BUMP~! ANKLE LOCK~! TAP OUT~! Angle is technically a two time KOTR winner. But of course the ref never saw it. SHANE~! SPEAR~! DDT~! EDGE IS THE KING OF THE RING.

This was decent. Just found myself with bugger all to write about lol. Was standard stuff for the most part, but easy to sit through.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

Jeff Hardy Vs X-Pac – WWF Light Heavyweight Championship Match

Remember when Jeff was the LH champ? Me either.

FULLY LOADED advertised as the next PPV. LIES!

FLIPS! SPINS! JUMPS!

You know that spot where Jeff runs on the barricade and dives onto his opponent? Kinda seems pointless if he has to stop for balance before he jumps :lmao.

:lmao X-Pac grabbing the ropes during an abdominal stretch. He starts bumping and grinding for added leverage and Jeff is screaming like a bitch and it just looks like RAPE to me.

Jeff gets his own back for the RAPE by straddling the corner with his nuts in X-Pac’s face, then takes off his shirt. So X-Pac hits the X-Factor and gets the win! Bah, Jeff’s foot was on the ropes. Match continues.

Sweeeeet counter to avoid the X-Factor a second time.

Swanton, and Jeff wins. Which actually surprised me because I thought X-Pac was winning lol. This was… fun. That is all.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

The Undertaker Vs DDP

Don’t care if this is technically a match or not. It was a heavily built FIGHT for the PPV so I’m treating it as such.

Undertaker has been playing mind games with Page all night, showing footage of DDP in the same way DDP was showing footage of Sara. Eventually when Page snaps Undertaker decides to come out and give him the beating he deserves. Undertaker takes his time coming down to the ring, even stopping to put on his VINTAGE~! MMA style gloves. PAGE GONNA GET GOT!

Page gets his face caved in as you might expect. He gets a low blow in and a couple of punches, then Undertaker gets back in control. SARA shows up to film the whole thing on a handheld camera. She would later get sued by WWE for recording a PPV illegally 8*D.

:lmao the time keeper dies.

STEEL CHAIR TO UNDERTAKER~!

SPEAR TO PAGE OVER THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~!

“THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO BE FAMOUS BITCH. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT”

Huge boot to the face and DDP fucks off. He don’t need this crap!

I like this. Undertaker destroys someone. What’s NOT to love?

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Kurt Angle Vs Shane McMahon – Street Fight

SPEAR! What a way to start this match, especially after all the SPEARS we’ve seen already tonight and the fact I watched about 15 minutes of SPEAR compilation videos earlier :lmao.

Oh man, Angle just thows Shane around for the first minute. Oh man, then Shane’s little comeback is SPECTACULAR. Busts angle open above the eye and in the mouth. Awesome.

Love how Angle uses his overhead belly to belly suplex as a “revenge” move almost here. He hates Shane and wants to fuck him up. SUPLEX~! And it actually works because Angle delivers it wonderfully and Shane really goes the extra mile himself taking it.

SHANE IS BLEEDING TOO.

The amateur wrestling spots are great too. Angle dares Shane to try him, Shane goes for it and gets mauled. Angle lets him try again, so Shane kicks the fuck out of him because he’s not THAT stupid.

“Shane leaping right over is, RIGHT INTO KURT ANGLE’S FACE!”

:lmao I think Shane just SPEARED Angle’s leg.

:lmao Shane falls over trying to lock in a Sharpshooter. Still looks better than Rocks 8*D.

SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO A TRASH CAN. HOLY SHIT. Shane didn’t even land on his head. Shane > Lesnar.

Speaking of Shane landing on his head… holy FUCK how did Angle not legit KILL Shane with those suplex attempts? Apparently (according to Angle, so fuck knows if it’s true) they put the wrong glass in, so instead of the “easy to break” stuff… it was just actual glass. And much harder to break. So Angle just had to keep throwing Shane anyway :lmao.

But yeah, this whole thing looks spectacular. The first suplex through the glass is amazing, then Angle has to resort to just throwing Shane through the second bit, which cuts both of them to fucking SHREDS. Mega probs to Shane for taking all this shit. And even Angle too because his back and arm are FUCKED UP.

SUPER ANGLE SLAM USING A WOODEN BOARD TO HELP~!

Great finish. Great match. So brutal. Love it. Shane’s best match, one of Kurt’s best matches. Fuck those cunts who hate this (Yes, you. I remember that you shit on this match you whore!).

Rating: ****1/2
CAL SCALE – 7

Steve Austin Vs Chris Jericho Vs Chris Benoit – WWF Championship Match

So, if HHH didn’t get injured… would this have been a 4 way? A tag with everything on the line like Backlash? Or would just one of them (Benoit hopefully) have gotten a title match with the other (Jericho, duh) going up against HHH?

“Rumours” all night going around that if Benoit or Jericho win the title tonight they are defecting to WCW. You know, WCW. That company that is literally just a logo and a few guys on contracts. No shows or anything. BUT THEY NEED A CHAMPION. LOL.

AUSTIN GETTING KNIFE EDGED TO DEATH~!

Urgh. This is dull. Just a lot of stomping in the corner. Then Jericho gets suplexed out of the ring and disappears for about 10 minutes while Benoit and Austin do… absolutely nothing noteworthy beyond Benoit hitting Austin with a Stunner, and the revelation that Austin can’t take his own finisher properly :p.

Austin tries for a Walls of Jericho on Jericho but Jericho knows how to block it, and fuck, Austin ends up going head first into the mat and you can see he’s pissed as he smashes his fist onto the mat. STUPID, STUPID! :p

And we’re back to dull again.

Benoit brings in a chair. “THIS IS NOT A NO DQ MATCH!”. He decks Jericho by accident. Ref doesn’t give a shit. LOL.

Austin starts superplexing Jericho from all the corners, but gets stopped by Benoit on the third. Always liked that little spot in Jericho and Austin’s singles match at NWO 02.

Austin taps out! To BOTH Benoit and Jericho at the same time. So uhh… both are champions? They did it with the IC title in 2000. Why not the WWF Title in 2001? :)

BOOKER T! He attacks Austin and puts him through a table, and injures Austin, something I didn’t know about until the Austin doc last year (or the year before? I dunno)! Way to go Booker, not only do you suck but you just injured the top guy in WWF.

Worst. Lionsault. Ever.

MOONSAULT by Jericho. Not often we see that. You know, Lionsault aside which is essentially a moonsault.

BACK SUPERPLEX. BYE BYE BENOIT’S NECK.

Never realised that the suplex that takes Benoit’s neck out happens right at the very end of the match. He hits the move, he doesn’t move, Austin covers him and that’s that.

Bulk of this match is soooo fucking dull. Had its moments no doubt but overall kinda blows. Hard.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

Overall CAL SCALE – 11

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