WWF No Mercy 2001
The Hardy Boys Vs Lance Storm & The Hurricane – WCW Tag Team Championship Match
LITA LITA FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP LITA is at ringside .
IVORY. FAP. HER TITS ARE BEGGING TO ESCAPE HER TOP.
Hurricane & Storm. Can’t believe I didn’t get that until my Unforgiven ramblings .
Heyman: “ARE YOU DOUBTING MY SOURCES, JR?”
JR: “WELL… UHH… …. YA.”
FIST BUMP TAG~!
LITA chant randomly. She’s more popular than anyone else in the match lol.
SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR! FUCK ME THAT WAS A PRETTY (PUN INTENDED) SPEAR BY LITA! GREAT BUMP BY MOLLY TOO. SPEAR! I WANNA SPEAR LITA!
Cool little finishing stretch, Hardy Boys retain. But honestly other than that there isn’t much to this one. Like, at all. It’s like they didn’t do ANYTHING in the middle of the match.
CAL SCALE – 0
RVD shows up and Regal (now the Alliance Commissioner) gives him a talking to. RVD is in the main event tonight for the WWF Title… and he’s currently the hardcore champion… which means no hardcore title match tonight .
VINCE shows up. Michael Cole puts his jacket on for him. He drops it on the floor first. Vince says he’s gonna drop Cole if he drops his jacket again .
Test Vs Kane
I’m oddly looking forward to this match. Certainly more than the other match later tonight between the other half of these teams (Undertaker Vs Booker T. Yes, I’m looking forward to a TEST match more than an Undertaker match. Blame Booker).
PRESS SLAM OVER THE ROPES. Kane press slams Test OVER THE ROPES TO THE FLOOR.
Fuck me at that ringbell shot to Kane’s head. Nick Patrick ignores it .
This is a pretty solid BIG MAN battle. Nothing on the Kane/Albert matches from earlier in the year, but still good stuff overall with some impressive shit (THAT PRESS SLAM) too.
BIG BOOT~! But it happens on the outside so Test doesn’t get the win there.
CHOKESLAM~! But Kane is still hurting from the BIG BOOT to capitalise on it quick enough.
PUMPHANDLE SLAM~! Damn, this is a pretty good finishing stretch. Plenty of great near falls without either of them spamming actual finishers.
A chair comes into play, the referee fucks over Kane and BAM, BIG BOOT! Test gets the win!
Me likely this matchy.
2 chokeslams to Nick Patrick . And a powerbomb!
CAL SCALE – 2
THE COACH interviews Austin through Debra.
STACY KEIBLER FAP FAP FAP. She gives Matt Hardy a sneak peak of her lingerie. Lucky bastard.
Torrie Wilson Vs Stacy Keibler – Lingerie Match
I KNOW YOU WANT ME~! SUNNY THEME MUSIC~!
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.
FAP. FAP. FAP. FAP.
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.
CAL SCALE – 0
Christian Vs Edge – Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match
Urgh. I’ll watch this in hopes I like it. But I don’t expect to.
Booooring. Boooooring. Boooooring. Boooooring. Outside of CHRISTIAN taking a couple of cool bumps off the ladder, this is BORING. It does, however, feature THE most insane, sickening, nasty, brutal ladder spot in history:
Christian tries a one man conchairto but Edge blocks it. So Edge gets a ladder. Making it 3 in the ring now. Because apparently he needed the other 2 still. He sets the ladder up across the steel chairs and puts Christian on it and I guess he’ll climb the ladders (2 for stability) and splash Christian. LOLNO. He climbs the ropes instead. So bringing a 3rd ladder into the ring was pointless. Edge: Dumbfuck.
Fuck me. Both ladders are still set up in the ring. RIGHT UNDER THE BELT. So Christian sets up the third one at a different angle to climb, only to get SPEARED by Edge who comes off the ropes. YEAH, THAT LADDER WASN’T SET UP FOR JUST THAT SPOT…
Conchairto to Christian on top of the ladders (this time having 3 makes sense… about damn time), and Edge wins the IC title back.
DO NOT LIKE. This might be a worse Christian ladder match than the Shelton one. Urgh. These guys HAVE NO CHEMISTRY. Glad we never got a WM match now tbh. Probably would have been shite.
CAL SCALE – 0
Spike is at WWF New York. He’s drinking a beer. I hope they asked for his ID. Some random slut shows up to hit on him. Glad this was shown…
The Dudley Boys Vs The Big Show & Tajiri – WWF Tag Team Championship Match
Dudleys? Big Show? TAJIRI? Fap? FAP!
Tajiri and Bubba start things off .
OMG just found a Tajiri Vs Bubba match from Raw in 02. TOTALLY GONNA WATCH THAT AFTER THIS .
Tajiri plays the FIP here so we get plenty of him . KICKS~! GREEN MIST~! Poor referee gets it .
Fuck. Me. That chokeslam on Bubba was incredible.
RHYNO! GORE! GORE GORE!
KICK TO THE FUCKING HEAD!
I like how the referee doesn’t DQ Tajiri.
3-D! And this one is over. FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN.
CAL SCALE – 0.5
The Undertaker Vs Booker T
Urgh. Just fuck off Booker. YOU SUCK. I’d rather watch a Rock match. Or a Chavo Jr match. Hmmm… maybe not. Booker > Chavo Jr at least. Highlight of his career.
Huh, JR was calling Undertaker BOOGER RED already? Thought that was just something he called him during his heel run towards the end of the year. I LEARNDED SOMETHING!
at JR taking a jab at some of the shitty WCW champs in recent memory.
Like how Undertaker keeps going after the arm and taking the fight to the mat here rather than just straigh up clubbing Booker T to hell. Takes Booker off his game in the early going, something Undertaker realises he needs to do after Kane tasted defeat at the hands of Booker’s tag partner Test earlier in the night.
I like how they work in part of the Kane/Test match into this, with Booker grabbing the ring bell to deck Undertaker, just like Test did with Kane, but this match has a WWF official and he ain’t standing for that shit! The bell is taken away and Undertaker decides it’s time to BRAWL with Booker now.
Undertaker might not have been at the top of his game in 2001, but his PUNCHES are always epic. WWE might have dubbed him in the best striker in history or whatever, but damn, it’s kinda hard to put up much of an argument. He’s RIGHT UP THERE with anyone. Lawler. Dundee. Bunch of guys I’m forgetting. No doubt I’ll get screamed at for forgetting certain people. I’M FUCKING SORRY WE GUYS, OK?
THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MOVE IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TODAY… THE SPINAROONIE!!!
Very back and forth match, with Booker never really getting in control as the heel, but eh, he’s in the ring with THE UNDERTAKER and Booker is a WCW guy… so I get that they didn’t want to make Booker look THAT strong against the Dead Man. That being said Booker did a good job any time he was on offence here that a full blown control segment would have been fine. Perhaps this was more of a test for Booker than anything? Vince has been known for putting guys against Undertaker to “test” them, especially the WCW guys around this time.
Anyway, good match. Enjoyed it more than I thought I would. My dislike for Booker tends to prevent me from liking anything he does, even against Undertaker (I have horrible memories of their JD 04 match lol). But he was good here. Undertaker was good. Match was good. Good good.
CAL SCALE – 2
The Rock Vs Chris Jericho – WCW Championship Match
Can Jericho win THE BIG ONE? Yeah, probably.
I do find it funny that during a time of WWF VS WCW (and ECW…), they still did a bunch of WWF VS WWF matches. Shows how crappy the talent in the ALLIANCE was outside of a few key people. Bit of a shame tbh. We could have gotten Rock Vs DDP or something instead, but they decided that DDP can fuck off and buried the shit out of him .
“I LIKE THEM, STEPH!” sign in the crowd. Can I assume this means her boob job?
These guys have some issues they need to work out, along with the fact Jericho is DESPERATE to win THE BIG ONE. That somewhat simple story works nicely into the match with Jericho trying to do anything and everything to win.
Love the commentary for this one too. Heyman and JR really help build up how HUGE this match is, with the WCW title lineage going all the way back to the first ever world champion in 1904(?), and how significant it is that this match is taking place in St Louis, where some of the biggest legends in the business have wrestled for, won, and lost THIS very title over the years. Jericho wants to win THE BIG ONE and THE BIG ONE is being put over as the fucking MONSTROUS ONE. I love things like that. Hey Michael Cole, commentary CAN add to a match. You useless cunt.
Rock hits perhaps the GOAT catapult on Jericho. He holds him up off the ground (like setting up a GIANT SWING~!) for a few seconds before falling back to launch Jericho into the corner. Looks less fakey and shit that normal.
Rock Bottom + Lionsault is an INCREDIBLE false finish. I mean DAMN. How did Jericho not win THE BIG ONE right there?
Rock ends up really taking the fight to Jericho and damn, I kinda wish I’d watched this BEFORE Vengeance now lol, because the finishing stretch of that match looks to be a SWEEET call back to part of this match . Table spot, People’s Elbow countered into a submission, other stuff no doubt.
STEPHANIE FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP. Rock gives her a Rock Bottom. WHAT A CUNT. FUCKING WOMEN BEATER. I’LL SAVE YOU STEPHANIE!
She brought a chair with her, and Jericho thinks nothing of hitting the Breakdown on it, sending Rock’s skull into the chair! 1…2…3 and Jericho wins THE BIG ONE! Finish plays perfectly into the story of Jericho being willing to do ANYTHING to win. STEPHANIE looks hot.
CAL SCALE – 5
Steve Austin Vs Kurt Angle Vs RVD – WWF Championship Match
SUPLEX! SUPLEX! SUPLEX! Angle wastes no time suplexing the shit out of everyone. RVD and Austin don’t know if they can trust each other, and Angle just doesn’t care. He’s gonna kill everyone.
Austin decides he doesn’t wanna wait and goes after RVD before RVD can turn on him. EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES~!
Glad that they had Austin do that straight away. Takes away the bullshit “working together then turning on each other” crap we tend to get. Survivor Series 09 main event does that too, only better .
Austin is a man POSSESSED here. He just doesn’t seem to stop. He knows this is HIS match to lose so he goes after both men and tries to keep himself in the match as often as possible so he has a better chance of preventing someone else from winning HIS title.
Holy shit ANGLE HIT THE MOONSAULT. And didn’t break anyone’s arm!
Vince decks Austin with a chair. RVD tries to take advantage as they’ve been teasing RVD going to the WWF. Angle breaks up the count, fucking DESTROYS RVD, then Shane O’Mac shows up, takes out Angle (then gets taken out by Vince lol), and Austin gets the pin on RVD.
So this one is fast paced and high impact and all that shit… and that’s about it. It’s OK and all, better than a certain other triple threat Austin was involved in on PPV this year… but it’s just a SPOTTY match with little in the way of real substance aside from Austin being obsessed with retaining the title.
CAL SCALE – 1
Overall CAL SCALE – 10.5