Backlash 2002 Ramblings

Posted on: March 23rd, 2014 by Big Cal

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Backlash 2002

The last WWF PPV!

 

Billy Kidman Vs Tajiri – WWF Cruiserweight Championship Match

:mark: seems like a good way to start the PPV! Actual card for this show looks AMAZING on paper (bar the main event which no matter what would always look awful on paper lol). Hope the undercard holds up!

Poor Tajiri. His kip up is cursed. Every time he does one, Kidman knocks him back down again :p.

TORRIE chant. She’s not so FAP FAP because Tajiri has her covered up and shit. BOOOO.

Oh man, the referee starts bitching at Tajiri for not breaking a hold in the ropes… so he rolls around and just kicks the absolute FUCK out of Kidman’s face and rolls back in again, as if to say “hey ref, that was YOUR fault”. Tajiri rules.

Tajiri rules in control. Kicks, back work, kicks. Being Tajiri. Awesome.

:mark: at Kidman countering the back spring elbow thingymabob with a dropkick. Tajiri flips RIGHT INTO it too. Looked GREAT.

Holy flerking shizzle at that near fall! Kidman should be DEAD after a kick like that! But he kicked out!

SSP! Miss! KICK TO THE FACE! Tajiri wins! No!!! Kidman kicked out! Kidman kicked out!!! :mark:

Fans really get behind Kidman after that kickout. KIDMAN BOMB off the ropes! KICKOUT BY TAJIRI!!!

Kidman sets Tajiri up for another powerbomb and Tajiri spits the red mist into his eyes! Cleaver cover up during the pin, and Tajiri wins the CW title!!! ALL HAIL TAJIRI!

Great match! Tajiri is KING.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

Scott Hall Vs Bradshaw

The fuck is that music? Oh, apparently it’s the NWO music. Except it’s not. Was it edited out on the DVD or did they have a chance in music?

X-Pac is out with Hall (because Hogan left the NWO and Nash got “suspended” aka tore his quad walking :lmao ), and with the numbers game against Bradshaw, it looks like it’s gonna be a long night for him. NO! FAROOQ! RON SIMMONS! The brand split might have split up APA as a team but they are FOREVER FRIENDS. Until Farooq gets fired for drugs and Bradshaw turns heel in 04.

I remember watching this show live and hoping we’d get a TAG TEAM MATCH made. But Teddy Long isn’t a GM so no chance in hell of that happening :(.

Hall throws his toothpick at Bradshaw and bursts out laughing. So Bradshaw decks him in the mouth :mark:.

Hall stalling for AGES before turning around on the outside with Farooq behind him is :mark:. Farooq decks him, then attacks X-Pac and throws Hall back into the ring and THE REFEREE DOESN’T SEND HIM BACKSTAGE. The fuck ref? Teddy Long would have. If he didn’t make it a tag match first.

X-Pac in Kane’s mask is :lmao. He totally should have run with that as a gimmick. KANE-PAC.

Both guys pretty much just PUNCH EACH OTHER IN THE FACE for the majority. And since both guys throw some wicked punches I’m cool with that lol.

CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL~!

X-Pac puts Hall’s foor on the ropes, so Farooq chases him around. Bradshaw watches then Hall low blows him for the win.

Nothing amazing here, but watchable. 2 guys punching each other in the face will always have a place in my heart lol.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Trish Stratus Vs Jazz

No thanks. Molly looks FAP FAP FAP with brown hair though. She cut a promo or something.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Brock Lesnar Vs Jeff Hardy

:lmao Heyman playing with LITA’S thongs is disturbingly hilarious.

Lesnar’s first theme sucked.

Jeff gets some shots in early… and then LESNAR KILLS HARDY. An extended PPV squash match. And it’s fucking EPIC. Lesnar is big and powerful and Jeff is happy to take crazy fucking bumps, so it works out wonderfully :mark:.

LITA looks incredible on the outside.

Damn, those multiple backbreakers are IMMENSE. Not only does Lesnar hold on to Jeff to do about 3 in a row, but he absolutely powers Jeff up nearly over his shoulders every time before he drives his back down onto his knee.

SWANTON BOMB~! LESNAR FUCKING POWERS OUT~! FUCK YOU AND YOUR FINISHER, JEFF!!!

F-5! Heyman screams “DON’T PIN HIM. HURT HIM!!!” so Lesnar hits a fucking DOUBLE POWERBOMB. And then a HUGE spinning powerbomb. And the referee has to stop the match because Jeff is DEAD.

:mark:.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 

Kurt Angle Vs Edge

Huh, Angle… doesn’t suck here! Transition spot into his control segment is a sweeeet German Suplex, and from there he slows down the pace rather than going all out with MOVES~!, taking his time to mock the crowd and really play up being a heel. His suplexes work as nice cut off spots for Edge’s hope spots too.

Well damn, even the super over head belly to belly spot is done well! Edge is making a comeback and trying EVERYTHING to keep Angle down, but nothing works. So he goes to the ropes for a Missile Dropkick, and as such Angle IS already on his feet, so no crazy “jumping up from the mat and not selling anything” crap! Instead as Edge is waiting on the ropes for Angle to get in position, Angle quickly realises what’s coming and leaps up for the suplex!!!

They even do a nice little call back to that super belly to belly spot too, which Edge hitting a big Crossbody to Angle on the outside, rolling him in and THEN landing the dropkick because Angle is much more hurt this time!

ANGLE SLAM~! KICKOUT~! ANKLE LOCK~! ROPE BREAK~! Then just like it seems we are going into some big crazy finisher fest, Angle levels Edge with a clothesline and things slow down! Then Angle decks himself in the head with a chair (lol), Edge looks to hit a Spear and Kurt kicks the fuck out of him for a counter (!!!) and into an Angle Slam for the win.

Match is kinda odd actually. I’m unsure what I actually think of it. It isn’t BAD. At all. It isn’t GREAT either. Good, absolutely. I guess. Lol. Angle’s shitty move crap is kept to a minimum and his suplexes make for great cut off spots. The finishing stretch isn’t overkill either, but honestly there seems to be something missing. Mainly from Angle’s control segment. Like I said, his cut off spots are good… but outside of those I honestly couldn’t tell you anything Angle did. Like, AT ALL. Just a giant void of WHATTHEFUCKHAPPENED in between cut off spots :lmao.

So overall, its good in the sense that it isn’t your typical crazy Angle MOVES~! match but it doesn’t get a huge rating because there wasn’t much to this one beyond cut off spots and the finishing stretch, both of which were good though.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Jericho promo. Bitching about being left off BACKLASH (He’s not good enough for BACKLASH? JOEY STYLES SHOOT~!) while Kidman and Maven have matches. Anyway, he does have a point. He was in the MAIN EVENT of WM a month ago, and now he’s doing bugger all.

ARN ANDERSON :mark:. RIC FLAIR :mark:. UNDERTAKER :mark:. Undertaker just shows up and stares at Flair before leaving. :mark:

 

Rob Van Dam Vs Eddie Guerrero – WWF Intercontinental Championship Match

BATTLE OF THE FROG SPLASHES~!

:mark:. I remember the first Raw brand show when Eddie Guerrero returned and powerbombed RVD. I was still young and had no internet so I didn’t know why Eddie disappeared for a year or anything. So seeing him returned was :mark:. Always liked the guy even as a heel when I wasn’t so “smart” to the “business” for lack of better terms. Now I appreciate the guy a bazillion times more :mark:.

Eddie is now 100% clean and has his life back in order, and when Eddie is CLEAN, Eddie is one of the best EVER. Not even Mr Flippy can fuck that up!

:mark: 1 minute into the match and Eddie is already bumping around and selling RVD’s offence like a fucking GOD. I like how Eddie makes RVD fight to get shit in, and while it’s not the GRITTY style like Finlay and Benoit, it’s still damn good.

Dammit RVD, STOP WITH THE SHITTY ELBOWS.

Aside from those terrible, terrible elbows, RVD’s offence looks really good for a chance! Even his kicks are less sloppy. Eddie is such a good worker he’s having a positive effect on RVD’s ability!!! :p Or maybe RVD respects Eddie enough to like, put some fucking EFFORT into his shit for a chance lol.

RVD controls the early part of the match with Eddie getting a few things in here and there, but it’s the TILT-A-WHIRL backbreaker than puts RVD on defence. From here Eddie focuses his attack on RVD’s back like a BOSS.

GORY SPECIAL :mark:.

The longer Eddie works over RVD, the more cocky he gets, going for fancy high risk moves and playing to the crowd, and it nearly costs him. He takes far too long going for a Frog Splash, allowing RVD to get up, but Eddie is still able to counter and hit a SICK sunset flip Powerbomb!!!

Ref bump, and Eddie hits a neck breaker on the IC belt, and then it’s FROG SPLASH TIME BABEH! New IC champ! Eddie wins!!! :mark:.

Really good match. Eddie is on top form, RVD looks better than usual, and we end up with a pretty great match :mark:.

Rating: ****
CAL SCALE – 5

 

The Undertaker Vs Steve Austin – Special Referee Ric Flair – #1 Contenders Match

:mark: FUCK THE HATERS I LOVE THIS. I hope :p. If it sucks for me on this watch then I’m gonna cry!

Undertaker is BOOGER RED. Austin is a RED NECK. And Flair is wearing RED SHOES. And I’m a RED HEAD. Therefore I cannot hate this match. IT’S SCIENCE, BITCHES!

Undertaker claimed before the match that he will OUT-WRESTLE, OUT-BRAWL and OUT-CHEAT Austin to win this match and go to JD for a title shot.

Stare down and trash talking to start things off. These two have a long history and know what’s on the line here so they aren’t about to rush into anything.

Undertaker immediately goes for a headlock, and Austin can’t escape. When he does, Undertaker shoulder blocks him down and does his cocky boxing footwork as Austin rolls outside to take a break. Undertaker is OUT-WRESTLING Austin. Just like he said he would!

Austin now gets a headlock on Undertaker, and when Undertaker escapes Austin attempts a shoulder block but the Dead Man ain’t budging! More cocky foot work from Undertaker, so Austin pays him back in kind by dropping down and doing some press-ups! Undertaker ain’t getting into Austin’s head!

They re-work the same sequence again, but this time when Undertaker goes for a shoulder block, Austin DECKS HIM with a clothesline, then gives him the finger!

:lmao they go to tie up again and Austin gives Undertaker the finger one more time and Undertaker is FUCKED OFF! He’s angry and rushes at Austin, allowing Austin to use his own momentum against him, and it’s AUSTIN out-wrestling The Undertaker! :mark:

So out-wrestling didn’t work for ‘Taker, so it’s time to fucking BRAWL. Big rights from the Dead Man and a boot to the face, and Austin goes down!

OLD SCHOOL~!

VINTAGE OLD SCHOOL UNDERTAKER. Cole stole VINTAGE from JR!!! Shame he couldn’t steal his talent too.

Undertaker looks to have things in hand thanks to his BRAWLING skills… until Austin takes him down with the Lou Thez press and pummels the fuck out of his face with right hands! They fight on the outside with Austin staying in control. :lmao at Austin punching Undertaker over the barricade right into an old women.

Good punches by Austin and Undertaker in this one, a MASSIVE step up from their SummerSlam 98 match when neither of them seemed to give a fuck.

Hall and X-Pac randomly show up at the top of the ramp, and even Undertaker looks pissed at them. If they screw with this match he’ll probably kill em!

Austin does a great job selling HIS FACE when Undertaker pummels him with punches, knees him in the nose and even smashes it against his bike!

APRON LEG DROP… except to the BACK of Austin’s neck rather than the front! Looks awesome that way.

LEG WORK~! Cool to see Undertaker, the taller guy in the match, work the legs of Austin rather than the other way around. Austin has knee braces on BOTH legs so it’s good strategy to go after them.

Yey the audio just went out of sync. Which apparently was a common problem because they dubbed Undertaker’s entrance theme for the event and it seems to have fucked shit up for the rest of the event now. Bah. Putting the DVD on my PC so I can (hopefully) watch it with media player classic and mess about with the audio timing. Can’t do it from disc as it seems to make the video stutter lol, so hopefully having the files on my PC will solve that problem. HOPEFULLY.

Well that didn’t quite work so I converted it to avi and stuck it in Adobe Premiere and manually put it in sync :lmao.

FUCK ME at the speed Undertaker gets to do the leaping lariat!

Undertaker hasn’t been able to put Austin away yet with WRESTLING or BRAWLING. Time to cheat!!! He exposes the turnbuckle, but Austin sends Undertaker into it back first and that gives the Rattlesnake a chance to recover and build momentum!

REF BUMP~! STUNNER~! NO REFEREE~! LOL~!

LOW BLOW~! Undertaker taking advantage of Flair being down. CHOKESLAM~! And Austin KICKS OUT!!! Undertaker’s face when Austin kicks out is amazing :lmao. He looks down at Austin as if to say “the fuck did you just do?”.

STEEL CHAIR~! Flair takes it away and Austin lows blows Undertaker… who retaliates with a kick to the face :lmao.

STUNNER~! COUNTERED~! FLAIR GETS TAKEN OUT AGAIN~! STEEL CHAIR TO AUSTIN’S HEAD~! Undertaker is doing everything he can to OUT-CHEAT Austin for sure, but Austin will NOT stay down!

Tombstone signal :mark:. But he was going for the TAKER CARE OF BUSINESS instead. Austin counters and tries to use it on Undertaker! Undertaker doesn’t like that so he goes for the chair again, only to be met with huge lefts and rights from Austin. Austin grabs the chair, Flair tries to take it away, Austin gives him the finger… and turns around into a big boot! Chair right to the face! 1..2..foot on the ropes…3 anyway!!! UNDERTAKER WINS! UNDERTAKER WINS!

:mark: This still rules. Fuck the haters. Which is like, everyone on the planet bar about 3 of us :lmao. Match told a great story of Undertaker trying to out-wrestle Austin, then when that doesn’t work he tries to out-brawl Austin, and when THAT fails, he manages to get the win by out-cheating him!

Rating: ****
CAL SCALE – 5

 

Flair walks to the back and Coach shows him footage of the finish with Austin getting his foot on the ropes. His reaction? OHHHH SHIT! :lmao

 

Billy & Chuck Vs Al Snow & Maven – WWF Tag Team Championship Match

:lmao at JR making gay jokes.

MAVEN GETTING ABUSED BY THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. Poor Maven! :p

:lmao teased hot tag to Snow, but Billy and Chuck prevent it… and Al runs in anyway :lmao.

Referee: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU GOTTA TAG!” :lmao

Huh, so AL is the guy playing FIP tonight. Instead of, you know, THE ROOKIE. Seems kinda backwards to me lol. Surly it would have made more sense for them to isolate the ROOKIE because he’ll be easier to beat and shit, and then have the teacher just come in for a hot tag? I though that’s what they were gonna do originally but Maven lasted about a minute as FIP lol.

MAVEN SETTING UP FOR HIS FINISHER… THE CROSSBODY. IN 2002. LOL. What kind of absolute LOSER or a wrestler would use that as a finisher in the 00’s? :p

Maven gets his head kicked off and loses.

Match is… stuff. Things. Whatever.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Triple H Vs Hulk Hogan – WWF Undisputed Championship Match

I wanna just say NO and move on. BUT… I kinda feel like I NEED to watch the MAIN EVENT TITLE MATCH for every show no matter what. Which sucks for me. Hogan in his prime Vs HHH in his prime doesn’t appeal to me. Hogan over 10 years past his prime Vs out of his prime and muscled up to fuck preventing him from being remotely good HHH makes me wanna puke my eyes out.

Oh god. The bell rings to start the match and we have TWENTY FIVE MINUTES left on the event. 25 minutes of OAP Hogan and Steroid HHH.

OMG HHH SHOWS THAT HE’S STRONGER THAN AN OLD MAN THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME. Kill me.

Fuck me. They spend the first FIVE MINUTES just pushing each other around in a collar and elbow tie up. Plus the knuckle lock spots too. At least the crowd is hot for the match. I guess someone has to be.

:lmao at the chop blocks to the knee by HHH. HHH nearly MISSES the first one, and Hogan was anticipating the second one and almost took the bump too early :lmao.

Fuck me… how many does HHH need to do? Hogan just keeps getting up and HHH keeps doing it. I swear for a second I thought part of the match was on a loop :lmao.

Leg holds. Sleeper hold. REST HOLDS~! Oh wow this is just exciting shit…

Jericho shows up. A chair gets involved. I think. I was still kinda phased out from the bullshit 10 minutes of rest holds or however long it was.

HOGAN MISSES THE LED DROP. PEDIGREE. 1…2… UNDERTAKER DECKS THE REFEREE!!! CHAIR TO HHH’S FACE! Undertaker picks up Hogan and tells him to cover! Hogan declines and takes out ‘Taker, then hits a Legdrop and gets the win anyway :lmao.

My god this was horrible. I mean… the best part of the fucking match is UNDERTAKER INTERFERING AT THE END. I have nothing positive to say about it.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 15

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