Judgment Day 2002 Ramble

Posted on: April 13th, 2014 by Big Cal

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Judgment Day 2002

 

:mark: Undertaker in the main event for the title :mark:.

 

Eddie Guerrero Vs Rob Van Dam – WWF Intercontinental Championship Match

Backlash was :mark:. Insurrextion was :(. I remember this being really good though :). PLEASE HOLD UP. Sick of matches I used to like being shit on a rewatch lol.

RVD rocks Eddie early on and LATINO HEAT gets HOT. Things get worse for him when RVD makes him look like a fool, faking a dive off the ropes, causing Eddie to STOP AND DROP so RVD can land a split legged moonsault!!!

Nice to see RVD going after the back of Eddie, just as Eddie did in their Backlash match. He even busts out some of the same moves too!!! :)

Eddie’s control segment starts off with a PUNCH TO THE FACE which makes me smile :). Similar to Insurrextion, Eddie focused on the head and neck of Van Dam as it was the NECKBREAKER on the IC title that brought Eddie the win.

:mark: Eddie keeps selling the back while on offense, and RVD even goes after it again during a comeback. Those shoulders he does to someone in the corner? He does that to Eddie while he’s stomach first in the turnbuckle, so he’s driving his shoulder into the BACK of Eddie. Both guys seem to be on top form, even if I’d likely guess that Eddie was putting the majority of this match together :p.

POWERBOMB :mark:. Just like how Eddie returned on Raw in 02, and goes to follow up with THE SUPERIOR Frog Splash, but he wastes too much time and RVD escapes! Now it’s time for HIS version of the Frog Splash and holy fuck Eddie BARELY gets out of the way!!!

Oh man, then the big STARE DOWN and shit when both guys make it to their feet, knowing that they BOTH missed their Frog Splashes :mark:. They ain’t happy so they just CHARGE at each other.

Backlside by RVD and holy fuck Eddie BARELY kicked out! RVD goes for a spinning kick and Eddie counters that into a backslide of his own, gets the feet up on the ropes and EDDIE WINS! EDDIE WINS! :mark:

Loved this a ton. Always thought their Backlash match was superior, and well it still kinda is, but damn this is VERY close. Loved it more on this watch :mark:.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Trish Stratus Vs Stacy Keibler – WWF Women’s Championship Match

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

No.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

:lmao Vince goes to see Flair to congratulate him on turning heel on Austin. Arn in the background is AMAZING. Giggling like a girl and his head going all over the place looking at Vince, looking at Flair, looking at their hands as they tease a handshake. ARN.

 

The Hardy Boys Vs Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman

Well Lesnar’s partner here is a HUGE step up from Planet Stasiak lol.

Lesnar doesn’t even make it to the ring before JEFF flies over the ropes… only to get CAUGHT!!! Baseball slide from Matt and Lesnar goes down. Hardy’s chase Heyman, allowing LESNAR to come in from behind and his DOMINATION begins :mark:.

GOLDBERG chants for Lesnar :lmao. Unlike Ryback those chants didn’t last long because he QUICKLY became something different the more and more his WRESTLING skills showed.

I like how Brock uses his sheer power to absolutely dominate, but he’s still very much a rookie in the company and every now and then makes a small mistake that guys like the Hardy Boys can capitalise on momentarily just to SURVIVE.

HARDYS GET HEYMAN~!

F-5! And Heyman starts screaming TAG ME, so Lesnar does. Then Heyman falls over the ropes trying to get in :lmao. Heyman rules. And he pins JEFF HARDY. He truly is THE BEST IN THE WORLD.

Fun fun fun fun fun fun fun :mark:.

Rating: **1/4
CAL SCALE – 1

 

Booker T is in the NWO now. His wife (we don’t know it’s his wife obviously) shows up and gives him her hotel key or something.

 

Steve Austin Vs The Big Show & Ric Flair

OH MY GOD THE FIRST FEW MINUTES OF THIS ARE UNGODLY AMOUNTS OF FUN. The stuff with Show is like their Insurrextion match on 30x fast forward, plus you have Flair in their eating a ton of shots to the face. :mark: at Austin locking the Figure Four in on Show, then as Flair comes in to break it up, Austin sits up and punches him in the face :lmao. Then Austin puts FLAIR in the Figure Four, and Show goes for an elbow drop so Austin rolls onto his side to avoid it!!! And then we have some STEEL CHAIR SHENANIGANS~! FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN.

:lmao at Austin walking over to Show on the apron, punching him in the face and then screaming WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? at him :lmao. Everyone in this just looks like they are having the time of their fucking lives. The crowd are HOT for everything too. :mark:

:lmao Flair is fucking awesome too. He literally drags Charles Robinson over to him, shows off his GUNS and while the ref is busy looking at some MUSCLE, Flair’s other arm is smashing up against Austin’s balls. Then Flair hits on some girls in the front row :lmao.

AUSTIN IS SCREAMING IN PAIN AT THE HANDS OF 2 MEN~!

Things slow down as they work over the leg of Austin, but Flair constantly talking shit makes everything tons more interesting :mark:.

STUNNER ON BIG SHOW~! Show didn’t even fall over! SUPERKICK BY X-PAC~! Austin dodges and Show is down! STUNNER TO FLAIR~! And Austin wins.

Well damn. DAMN. I HATED this last time I saw it. Now I fucking LOVE it. Pure fun.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Edge Vs Kurt Angle – Hair Vs Hair Match

WELL FUCK ME SIDEWAYS AND CALL ME MARY. That overhead belly to belly suplex OVER THE ROPES was epic. EPIC. Edge takes a fucking KILLER bump off it. Now THAT is how you transition into a control segment. Good god!

:lmao at Lawler saying Edge has a head the shape of a Dinosaur. HE DOES HAVE AN ODD SHAPED HEAD!!!

Stuff happens for a while, honestly feels like filler until Edge begins his comeback, which is pretty sweet in all honesty. Baseball slide to Angle’s legs to knock him off the apron is amazing with Angle smashing his fucking FACE on the apron on the way down is fucking :mark:.

MONSTROUS German Suplex. No wonder Edge needed neck surgery after his 2002 if he keeps up taking insane bumps like that lol.

BRIAN HEBNER takes a killer bump off a SPEAR. With the referee down, Kurt bring out a chair and ends up getting a Spear instead!

Bunch of finishers now for some NEAR FALLS~! In the end Edge catches Angle with a roll up after escaping the Ankle Lock. ANGLE IS GOING BALD.

Match is fine, kinda reminds me of their Backlash match, just with some better SPOTZ~! lol. Lots of fun to be had but nothing overly special.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Booker T in bed with his wife. LIGHTS GO OUT. Weird noises. GOLDUST~! This was all a plan to get Booker T to leave the NWO :lmao.

 

Triple H Vs Chris Jericho – Hell in a Cell Match

Apparently BERRYING~! Jericho at WM wasn’t enough; HHH needed to do it inside the cell too!!! :p

Might I just say right now, FUCK YOU. I’m not sure who you are but you know who you are and that’s what matters. I’m about 30 seconds in and all I can hear is HHH making retarded noises every time he punches or gets punched. AARRGHH!!! :p

Might I also just say right now, that HHH is still a terrible fucking brawler. Those punches make me cringe. Combine the awful execution with THOSE NOISES he makes and I wanna stab him.

They fight on the outside. Throw each other around into the cell. And then for some reason Jericho brings out a ladder. Uuuuhhhh… why? To use as a weapon? Ok… but why a ladder? It’s big and bulky and wastes time and energy to use it. Why not a steel chair? Simple and probably MORE effective. Using a ladder in a LADDER MATCH is fine because after you deck your opponent with it, you can try and CLIMB it. Inside the cell though? It’s fucking DUMB. Edge made good use of it in 2008, but he had like, legitimate reasons for it. THIS AIN’T A TRIPLE CAGE JERICHO. NO NEED TO CLIMB ON TOP OF THE CELL THROUGH A HOLE IN THE TOP.

Fuck me, the ladder ends up on the outside and Jericho actually goes out to bring it back in. Only to get hit with a STEEL CHAIR that HHH wisely brought in, because fuck fucking about with a ladder when you can swing a chair a bazillion times easier.

Oh just fuck off Jericho. What does he go ahead and do next? GETS THE FUCKING RING STEPS INSIDE THE RING. He is struggling to pick them up. LAWLER on commentary even wonders what the fuck he’s doing. HHH JUST BROUGHT A CHAIR INTO THE MATCH. HE USED IT ON YOU EFFECTIVELY. USE IT ON HIM YOU DUMB FUCKING CUNT.

:lmao at Tim White telling them to “KEEP IT IN THE DAMN RING!”. It’s a HIAC match Timmy. They are gonna do whatever they want. Dumb or otherwise, it seems. Besides, you better shut your mouth Tim. Careers can end in HIAC ya kn… aaand there goes Tim White. GOAT HIAC bump. Flies off the apron, SMASHES into the side of the cage and he is DONE. Literally. Off to attempt suicide every week on TV!!!

SLEDGEHAMMER TO THE FACE~! Lol, HHH is a moron. Using a sledgehammer. Should have set up the ladder, struggled to the top carrying the ring steps and dropped them onto Jericho or something!!! This match isn’t about BERRYING Jericho, its about making him look like the dumbest motherfucker on the planet apparently! :lmao

Now we are outside the cell (they had to go get Tim), and Jericho gets DDT’d through a table, then runs away from HHH who has a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. Sorry, he doesn’t run away, because that might be SMART, and this match is all about making Jericho look DUMB. He climbs to the top of the cell, where obviously HHH can’t get at him…

WALLS OF JERICHO ON TOP OF THE CELL. :lmao and the new referee climbs on top of the cell to check on HHH. Because you can WIN on top of the cell now apparently. A rule that has NEVER BEEN MENTIONED BEFORE, in fact I seem to recall them SPECIFICALLY mentioning in a previous HIAC match to this that you CANNOT WIN ON TOP OF THE CELL. More bullshit thrown at us in this match.

PEDIGREE attempt, and HHH gets back body dropped, but the cell doesn’t break :(. This match might have been saved by an insane HHH Cell Bump. Nah, fuck that shit. PEDIGREE TO JERICHO ON TOP OF THE CELL and this is done. Thankfully.

Urgh. Pile of uber shite. Retarded use of retarded weapons by a seemingly retarded wrestler. Retarded rules made up seemingly on the spot for a retarded match. RETARDED AS FUCK. Didn’t like this at all. Can’t think of anything good to say about it.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

:lmao at Angle running and hiding from Edge to avoid getting his hair cut.

 

Billy & Chuck Vs Rikishi & Rico – WWF Tag Team Championship Match

Sorry, NO.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Hulk Hogan Vs The Undertaker – WWE Undisputed Championship Match

:mark: Undertaker I believe debuts his new theme song here. Basically “You’re Gonna Pay” instrumental version. It’s awesome :mark:.

Undertaker is wearing a belt of his own coming into this match; a bright yellow Hogan weight lifting belt! And he starts whipping the Hulkster the moment he steps into the ring!!! Hogan takes a bunch of shots, makes a comeback and starts giving it right back to ‘Taker!

The referee takes the belt away from Hogan and officially rings the bell.

“HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT OMG!!!” :lmao I don’t know who that is but that fan is amazing :p. That was his reaction to Undertaker taking his big bump over the ring steps btw.

HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT OMG? That was MY reaction to Hogan hitting a SUPERPLEX. In 2002. A HOGAN SUPERPLEX. Damn lol!!!

‘Taker goes for the legs of Hogan and things slow down and not in a good way, but thankfully it doesn’t last too long before Hogan makes a comeback. LEGDROP~! COUNTERED INTO A HALF BOSTON CRAB~!

:lmao at Hogan struggling to even take a chokeslam. Oh he can do a superplex, but take a chokeslam from Undertaker? LOLNO.

HULK UP~! Undertaker looks at Hogan like “fucks sake, didn’t this all die like 11 years ago?” :lmao

LEG DROP~! UNDERTAKER KICKS OUT OF THE LEG DROP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vince McMahon shows up, just as Undertaker grabs a chair, but Hogan kicks it back in his face just like Undertaker did to Austin a month ago! Leg Drop! McMahon gets involved and gets a Leg Drop!

CHAIR TO HOGAN~! CHOKESLAM~! NEW WWE CHAMPION!!! UNDERTAKER WINS!!!! :mark:

I still remember marking out like FUCK when I watched this live :mark:. Seeing Undertaker win his first major title since 1999 was :mark:. Undertaker posing while he gets the referee to put the title belt on him is :mark:.

Match is decent, nothing more. I get more enjoyment out of it than most no doubt :p.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 7.5

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