SummerSlam 2002 Ramblings

Posted on: June 8th, 2014 by Big Cal

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SummerSlam 2002

 

And now. SummerSlam.

And that was the intro to the event? Seriously? No video package? LOL.

 

Rey Mysterio Vs Kurt Angle

:mark:

This is super fun awesome mega sweet. ALL OF THOSE THINGS.

Rey in 2002 had knees that worked so he could do ANYTHING. So he did. Some awesomely smooth high flying shit, great counters that could have easily sucked had anyone else done them because no doubt they wouldn’t have been as perfectly done as Rey did em.
The German suplex counter using the ropes going into a pin attempt was :mark:.

Angle is great here too (I know!). Takes all of Rey’s offense beautifully and it’s kinda cool seeing him work more of a “big man vs little man” style with him as the bigger guy lol. Just lobbing Rey around and shit.

:mark: Rey diving over the ref over the ropes onto Angle.

Crowd are just on FIRE for all this too. Great to see Rey, only recently debuting with the company, taking Angle to the limit and being 100% believable to get a win despite his size and how long he’s been with the company and how he was used in WCW too.

:mark: at the finish too. Great counter by Angle. Rey taps but fuck me he basically got MADE as far as his WWE career goes in this match.

Incredible opener and all round incredible match.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Lawler wants to welcome us to the Raw portion of Smackdown. Yup.

 

Chris Jericho Vs Ric Flair

JERICHO BEATS UP AN OLD MAN. That’s essentially this match lol.

Holy fook at that spot! Jericho takes the padding off the barricade, lays Flair across it then comes crashing down on Flair from the top rope!!! Flair’s selling of it afterwards is tremendous. “OH GOD!” followed by him stumbling into a camera man :lmao.

:lmao Jericho has a tougher time fighting with a turnbuckle pad than he does Flair. He ends up giving up and going after Flair with some wrist tape instead :lmao.

CHOPS~! But Jericho keeps firing back with PUNCHES TO THE FACE.

:mark: Flair hits a somewhat WONDERFUL back suplex. Who thing leading into it is tremendous too. Flair strut, then he just kinda dances around Jericho, swings his arm up and grabs him for the suplex and hits it to perfection. DEM LITTLE THINGS.

LIONSAULT~! FLAIR MOVES~! CHOPS~! WALLS OF JERICHO BY FLAIR~! BOTCHES~! FIGURE FOUR BY JERICHO~! Wait, that’s not a figure four, is it? Looks totally different when Miz does it 8*D.

Flair taps! But he’s in the ropes so it doesn’t count! Suck it, Jericho!

:lmao Flair chopped Jericho so hard, Charles Robinson fell down :lmao. Apparently Jericho knocked into him but you couldn’t see that from the camera angle we got :lmao.

LOW BLOW~! FIGURE FOUR~! FLAIR WINS!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Yeah this good. Fun. Awesome. OLD MAN FLAIR~!

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Eddie Guerrero Vs Edge

So I remember not liking these matches much in the past, but after seeing their… Unforgiven (?) match again for the first time in YEARS, I ended up loving it and now I have somewhat high hopes for this one too :).

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG PORK SIGN IN THE CROWD! :mark:

Botch in the first minute. Not a good sign :lmao. PORK, now there is a good sign! I miss PORK sign :(.

Eddie gets tied in the ropes and SPEAR! Edge goes for another, Eddie escapes and Edge flies out of the ring. LOL. Edge looks to be hurt, so Eddie goes right after the now seemingly injured left arm :D.

“GUERRERO LIKE A SHARK THAT SMELLS BLOOD IN THE WATER YUM YUM GONNA GET HIM SOME!” :lmao

Awesome move off the top rope by Eddie to smash the arm into the mat :mark:.

:mark: Eddie getting snapmared then moving like lighting to get back to Edge is :mark:. He just zooms around Edge, sweeps his leg then grabs the arm again.

Edge starts to build moment, looks to hit another SPEAR… only for Guerrero to counter with a dropkick!!!

FROG SPLASH~! NO! EDGE GOT HIS KNEES UP!

EDGECUTION~! EDDIE KICKS OUT! FUCK YES! SUCK IT EDGE!

Eddie is wonderful btw. Any time he counters an Edge comeback he is RIGHT BACK ON EDGE with such quickness. No wasting time or anything.

FROG SPLASH ON THE INJURED ARM!!! HOLY FUCK THAT WAS GOAT!!!

EDGE KICKS OUT!!!

SPEAR! And Edge wins :(. BOOOOO!!!

So this was good :). Eddie was KING, Edge was fine. Eddie ruled.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Christian can’t wait to EXPOSE Booker T and Goldust.

 

Booker T & Goldust Vs Lance Storm & Christian – World Tag Team Championship Match

:mark: ok, this match BETTER live up to the hype.

:mark: GOLDUST AND CHRISTIAN starting things out :mark:. Storm comes in and that’s fine too… bah, Booker tagged in. FUCK OFF BOOKER.

:mark: Goldust taking a bump over the turnbuckle is :mark:.

Goldust is superb as FIP as you would totally expect (and if you don’t then what the fuck is wrong with you? Goldust > most of your favourites). Takes one hell of a beating and it’s easy to get behind him as he tries to make a tag.

COME ON GOLDIE! COME ON GOLDIE! Booker T gets the hot tag, but the ref didn’t see it! Fans are fucking livid lol. Awesome.

CONCHAIRTO ATTEMPT! GOLDUST DUCKS AND COMES BACK WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! FANS POP LIKE CRAZY!!! Come on Goldust, make the tag!!! Yes!!! Shame it was to Booker T though :p.

Booker is at least good at coming off a hot tag and wailing on everyone. He just PLASTERS Christian on the ropes with repeated chops and slaps to the chest lol.

DOUBLE AXE KICK~! Ref is down though. Booo.

TEST~! Big boot to Booker T, and Christian & Storm steal this one :(.

This rules. Fucking RULES. Goldust is such a fucking workhorse. He spends the bulk of the match in the ring and fuck he’s just great. On offence, taking a beating, teasing a hot tag. :mark: Awesome stuff all round not just from him too. Hype = LIVED UP.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Nidia is at WWE New York making out with some random dude while Noble watches :lmao.

 

Chris Benoit Vs Rob Van Dam – WWE Intercontinental Championship Match

The crowd are pretty much fucking DEAD for this one unless RVD is hitting some flippy shit lol. Which is a shame because Benoit is fucking MAULING RVD’s head in pretty spectacular fashion.

So Benoit’s work here is fine, great even… but at the same time I’m not caught up in the match or anything. He’s just working over RVD and I’m not particularly caring. Some cool moments here and there and that’s kinda it tbh.

If anything it’s RVD that makes this match go from average to pretty fun at times. His crazy offence often leads to some great Benoit counters lol, and break the match up from Benoit applying holds :p.

Thing start to really pick up mid way though… and HOLY FUCK… TRIPLE NOTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEXES FROM BENOIT WHILE HE HAS RVD’S ARM BEHIND HIM REALLY FUCKING IT UP. Fuck triple Germans, THAT is an incredible triple suplex spot. Benoit then following it up with a Crossface is :mark:.

Finish kinda comes out of nowhere. Benoit goes for a back superplex, RVD counters with a crossbody then follows up with a 5 Star Frog Splash and it’s over. Just seemed that one second Benoit is controlling and then RVD wins with his finisher but without any real comeback nor hitting it OUT OF NOWHERE lol.

Mixed feelings on this one tbh. It’s good, and in parts it’s great… but at times it gets a little tedious too. Goes up and down and isn’t consistent. I liked it more than I disliked anything in it though. I’ll settle on really good :).

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

The Undertaker Vs Test

:lmao the video package shows why the UN-AMERICANS hate America and shit… but absolutely no reason why this match is happening :lmao.

Undertaker is the AMERICAN BAS ASS so I guess that lets this “feud” write itself lol. Plus he has a Nephew I believe in the Army so he was dedicating a match to him by beating up… a Canadian. WHERE WAS HASSAN WHEN WE ACTUALLY NEEDED HIM? :p

Undertaker tries to start the match in his usual way, softening up the arm, but TEST ain’t having none of that shit. Big knees to Undertaker to stop those arm wrenches, so Undertaker is all “fuck it, LEAPING LARIAT” and takes Test down that way lol.

OLD SCHOOL~! But Test again ain’t having none of that shit, and shoves the referee into the ropes, crotching the DEAD MAN! Now it’s time for Test to work over The Undertaker, using the steel steps to his advantage, because even a guy the size of TEST can’t get on top of the Dead Man without help.

Did we ever get T&A Vs BOD? I don’t think we did, did we? BOD teamed up a little in 2000 when Undertaker first returned and I’m not certain they met with T&A, then when BOD got back together again at the RR in 01, T&A had split. Bah, could have been a pretty awesome tag match tbh. T&A were awesome. One of the only “main” teams in 2000 that didn’t get a tag title run lol. 2 COOL EVEN GOT A FUCKING TITLE REIGN LOL.

Undertaker fights back and manages to hit OLD SCHOOL for real this time. Time for Test to fucking PAY.

SNAKE EYES~! BIG BOOT~! TEST COUNTERS~! Bunch of other counters and then CHOKESLAM~! TEST KICKS OUT!!!

Time for Test to take his LAST RIDE, but Storm and Christian show up!!! They get the fuck beaten out of them, allowing Test to sneak in and absolutely fucking NAIL the Dead Man with a big boot! UNDERTAKER KICKS OUT!!!

Anyone else love Test’s BIG BOOT? I’m a big fan of impactful strikes, be it punches of kicks anyway, so naturally I’m gonna enjoy it. But what about everyone else? I mean, a 6’6 near 300lb man charging at you full speed and smashing your face in with his boot is a SOMEWHAT credible move, right? :p

STEEL CHAIR~! COUNTERED~! TOMBSTONE!!! Always loved seeing ABA Undertaker use the Tombstone. Test ain’t kicking out of that in a million years.

After the match Undertaker wanders into the crowd and grabs an American Flag and parades around. Not my thing but eh, it’s Undertaker so I can give it a pass :p.

Match is solid stuff, not great but far, far from being anything bad. Just a shame Undertaker was in basically a filler match for SummerSlam, a month after he lost the Undisputed Championship and a month before he would challenge Lesnar for the WWE title lol.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

 

Shawn Michaels Vs Triple H – Unsanctioned Match

How GOAT is the FIGHT song for the video package?

I used to love this match. Really I did. Back when it happened, I was HYPED TO FUCK for it. It was SHAWN MICHAELS. RETURNING TO THE RING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 4 YEARS. I first saw wrestling back at the end of the Golden Era, and grew up on the NEW GENERATION, which Shawn Michaels was a MAJOR part of. I was around for the inception of D-x. But I lost access to the channels with wrestling and missed everything past 98 until 2000 (gone back and caught up with everything obviously… seems I didn’t miss much tbh :lmao ). So when I started watching again in 2000, I had no idea where HBK was (or Undertaker for that matter lol… and they both pretty much returned at the same PPV!!!). Took a while for me to piece everything together with the info I would catch here and there on TV. Then he came back for the NWO in 2002. And that died off quickly. Then he re-joined with HHH. And that died off pretty quickly. And then HBK said he would be ready for a match. A RETURN MATCH. AT FUCKING SUMMERSLAM. :mark:

I can still remember watching it in 2002. I adored it. It was incredible seeing HBK, my second favourite at the time (Undertaker #1, duh), FINALLY returning to the ring and putting on a fucking SHOW STEALER. But over the years I’ve gone way down on the match. And now I’m watching it again and after writing all of that stuff I’m kinda hyped for it one more time lol. Maybe that’ll help with this re-watch :).

HBK just laying across the turnbuckle like a cocky little DICK as HHH makes his INTENSE~! entrance is :mark:. He don’t sweat THE GAME.

Shawn seems to catch HHH off guard at the start, like HHH wasn’t expecting HBK to go that fast and that hard after all this time away from the ring. :lmao at the commentators saying how this goes WAY BEYOND a typical hardcore match… then Shawn pulls out a basic trash can lid :lmao. TRASH CAN LID = BEYOND HARDCORE!!!

Sweet Chin Music attempt is avoided, and HHH counters with a sickening BACK BREAKER, and now THE GAME begins to play with Shawn’s back.

THIS IS UNSANCTIONED. THE WWE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS MATCH~! They are just allowing it to happen on their PPV, complete with video package and entrances. And a referee in the ring to count the falls. And commentators to commentate on it. And they advertised the fuck out of it leading into the PPV. YEAH OK, NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

DDT ON A STEEL CHAIR. How the fuck was that not the finish lol? SHAWN IS BUSTED WIDE OPEN!

Love how Earl Hebner is in this match. Screaming “NO! NOOOO!” at HHH to try and stop him from killing HBK.

Earl continues to be awesome, even backing HHH into a corner and going on a fucking TIRADE :lmao.

BACK BREAKER ON A STEEL FUCKING CHAIR. That’s awesomely brutal in the circumstances. Shame it’s the only thing worth watching from the last like, 5 minutes lol. I get that HHH is taking his time to really break HBK apart… but fuck this match is just TOO slow at times.

SUPERKICK~! HBK superkicks a chair right into HHH’s face! His poor nose!!! :p

HHH is hurting and busted open, giving Shawn a chance to make a comeback. NIP UP~! NO SELLING THE FUCKING BACK WORK~! WHAT A CUNT~!

I still have mixed feeling about that part. On the one hand… Shawn fucking NO SELLS his fucking back. Making everything in the match prior to that POINTLESS. On the other hand… :mark:. HBK nipping up and making a comeback on the EVIL HHH is still pretty :mark:.

Oh wow, I’m actually getting BORED with this match. Shawn just crossbodied HHH through a table on the floor from the ropes… and eh, I don’t care. Now an Elbow Drop off the ladder. Because… Uhhh… it needed to be done from a ladder? So he’s proving he’s still the SHOWSTOPPER yeah? Ok. How about you FUCKING SELL YOUR BACK.

SUPERKICK~! COUNTERED INTO A PEDIGREE~! COUNTERED INTO A PIN~! HBK WINS! Finally lol.

Well unfortunately I just wasn’t feeling this match. Again. Just doesn’t hold up like it once did. First part is really good… and then HHH decides to slow shit down far more than he needed and the match feels far too long. Then HBK comes back and ignores his fucking BACK INJURY and that fucks me off, then it turns into meaningless spots and moves before HBK wins. So first half = good, second half = kinda crappy. Evens out to good and nothing more.

SLEDGEHAMMER TO THE BACK~!

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Before we can get to the main event, HOWARD FINKLE wants to talk! LOL. Why on EARTH were they seemingly trying to make THE FINK a heel? Or have a ring announcer as something other than a ring announcer? Oh well, TRISH FAP FAP FAP FAP FUCKING FAP WITH THAT OUTFIT comes out. LILLIAN FAP FAP GARCIA comes out and attacks Howard. Because they had some issues or something. I forget. I don’t care. LOL.

 

The Rock Vs Brock Lesnar – WWE Undisputed Championship Match

Rock starts this one with those awful punches of his, but Brock is all FUCK YOU ROCK and just grabs and throws him across the ring with an impressive looking Overhead Belly to Belly suplex. HA!

:lmao HUGE ROCKY SUCKS chants :lmao. Followed up big a HUGE ROCKY chant :lmao. MAKE UP YOUR MIND PEOPLE :p.

Heyman :mark:. Just being a DICK on the outside, attacking Rock at every fucking chance he gets. As if being in the ring with LESNAR wasn’t enough lol.

DOUBLE NIP UP SPOT :mark:.

Rock tries to clothesline Lesnar over. Doesn’t work. Lesnar tells him to try again. Doesn’t work. 3rd time after ducking an attempted Lesnar clothesline and LESNAR GOES DOWN. Sharpshooter attempt and YES! Heyman distracts Rock! Booo… Rock still locks it in. Fans boo. Because it’s fucking shit. LEARN TO DO IT RIGHT YOU NOB. MIZ VS ROCK IN A WORST ATTEMPT AT A POPULAR SUBMISSION HOLD EVER. JOHN “STF-ISH” CENA AS GUEST REFEREE.

Rock, the big man that he is, attacks poor Heyman who is NOT a trained wrestler. What a fucking piece of shit. Lesnar makes him pay with a CHAIR SHOT to the gut though. Lesnar is a true friend :).

BEAR HUG. Rock has injured ribs AND just got nailed with a chair. Lesnar put HULK HOGAN out of action with a bear hug. Rock ain’t gonna stand a chance!!!

Rock makes a pretty sweet comeback, and holy fuck Lesnar is bumping around like a GOAT. Rock sends Lesnar face first into the ring post… and then decides to put Heyman through a table! THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, ROCK? DON’T BE A BULLY, BE A STAR. Cunt.

ROCK BOTTOM~! LESNAR KICKS OUT!!!

BROCK BOTTOM~! ROCK KICKS OUT!!!

:mark: You know those matches where Rock goes for a People’s Elbow and someone interferes, usually running Rock over? Well, LESNAR does it with a monstrous clothesline here :D. Fuck anyone else getting involved, BROCK is superhuman and can do it himself!!!

F-5!!! 1…2…3!!! LESNAR IS THE NEW CHAMPION!!! LESNAR IS CHAMPION, AND ROCK IS FUCKING OFF TO HOLLYWOOD! ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD!!!

:mark: Still a fucking incredible match. Awesome atmosphere, and great effort from BOTH men. Even Rock! Lesnar was fucking BOSS though.

Rating: ****1/4
CAL SCALE – 6

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 24

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