Big Cal Watches TNA Hardcore Justice 2014 – Written Thoughts

Posted on: August 21st, 2014 by Big Cal

So earlier today I caught TNA Hardcore Justice, and decided to write down random notes as I went along:

 

Haven’t seen TNA in months. Only seen maybe 4 episodes in total for 2014.

Who the fuck is Bram?

Why is Abyss still around? WE WANT JOSEPH *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Watched ECW ONS 06 last week. They had a wooden board with barbed wire on it. TNA have the same here, except… well it looks cheap and shitty as fuck. Like they could only afford so much barbed wire, and as a result it looks shit :lmao.

Apparently someone in TNA watched HHH/Nash Sledgehammer Ladder match and thought it was a good idea, because Abyss’ Janice (stick with NAILS) is hanging over the ring for this match.

Ahhh, I see why they couldn’t afford much barbed wire. They spent all their budget on thumbtacks. Seriously. Abyss emptied out the back and it seemed bottomless.

Both guys took turns at going through barbed wire boards. Funk did it WAY better in 06, and he was like, the age of these guys COMBINED or something.

Bram has Janice. So uhhh… the match isn’t over? Is this more like a pole match where the match is over with pin or submission, but if they feel like it they can climb up, grab the weapon and use it? Seems… kinda pointless tbh.

Now Abyss has Janice. Is that even legal? He didn’t climb up and get it, so why should he be allowed to use it? Bram agrees and takes it away from him.

Abyss just got smacked in the stomach with a stick with NAILS. Shouldn’t he like, be punctured or something? Bram’s back is bleeding from going through thumbtacks. THUMBTACKS. But Abyss is apparently fine despite being smacked with NAILS.

Well that was a shitty match. At least it didn’t last long.

Oh hey, it’s Rhino. And EC3. Apparently he was arrested.

Magnus and Bram have a weird backstage segment. They’re both English. That’s about all I got from that.

YES! chants. Well done TNA fans, it seems you at least watch WWE. It might not be perfect, but you know, it’s also not TNA. So yey!

EC3 thanks Angle for being arrested. I guess he liked taking it in the arse.

ECW blames Rhino for Dixie going through a table. Rhino calls EC3 a bitch. Greatest fan reaction ever occurs:

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It’s people like him that make it all worth it.

:lmao Rhino takes a heck of a bump through the ropes to the floor from… uhhh… fuck all really. I guess he shouldn’t have held his fist out and asked the fans if he should punch EC3, allowing EC3 to hit him first…

Samoa Joe! He’s the X-Division champion? Nice to see he’s back to where he was in 2005…

Don’t smoke kids! Ken Anderson did and look how he turned out!

Oh hey, Matt Hardy. And his brother… Willow? Jeff? Who cares. Matt says TNA is going through a tag team resurgence. He names 3 teams. 2 of them are The Hardy Boys and Team 3D…

Joe Vs NXT Season 2 Winner Low-Ki!

This is awesome chants. Not sure why. Match has been ok, but that’s about it. They’ve kicked each other and uhhh… kicked each other.

Very nice clothesline! Ki sold it like death.

Set up to the Muscle Buster was nice. Kicked Low-Ki’s leg while he was on the ropes and set up his finisher for the win.

Ok match at best tbh. They didn’t do anything remotely special, and honestly it’s sad to see Joe like this. He’s trying to be Joe 2005 in 2014, but he’s fatter, slower and just not as good :(.

The Hardy Boys pay Team 3D a visit. That’s nice.

What isn’t nice is the fact Mr Anderson is up next doing an interview.

Anderson and Shaw are having a brawl backstage. I’m sure they were feuding the last time I watched in like Feb. If any feud needed to go for months, it wasn’t this one.

I Quit match? Perfect. I Quit. Can I go now?

What happens when 2 shitty, dull wrestlers have a match? I’ve no idea, I was too busy eating.

Clips from last week with 2 women fighting. Angle announces a Knockouts Last Standing match. Ummm… I think he might have said that wrong tbh…

Earlier in the night, The Hardy Boys basically said TNA only had 3 tag teams. So they had a brilliant idea; have all 3 teams face each other. Wonder how long it took them to think that up…

Mike Tenay interviewing Dixie in bed. MIKE IS A PLAYER!

Why does James Storm have a Japanese Guy shirtless and tied up in the middle of nowhere? You know what? I don’t want to know.

Last Knockouts Standing match is up next. Angelina Love Vs Gail Kim. Can’t imagine this going long, Love looks like she will fall over with a slight breeze. EAT SOMETHING FOR FUCKS SAKE.

Why doesn’t the other one (I forget names) come in and help Love? Surely a 2 on 1 beating in a NO DQ style match would get the job done, right?

COOKIE SHEET TO GAIL KIM’S ARSE~!

Oh look, it’s that one fan you always get at shows who think they are cool. He’s chanting You Screwed Bret at Earl. All on his own. 17 years later. I can’t wait for him to chant Super Dragon next…

WHAT THE FUCK? :lmao Angelina’s finish is called the BOTOX INJECTION? For real? That’s fucking hilarious on so many levels.

Gail ends up winning. At least this was better than Anderson/Shaw. Not saying much though.

Angle announces a tag titles series. First team to win 2 matches wins the titles. Well I guess if you only have 3 teams, you might as well put them against each other every week :lmao.

MVP cuts a promo. He says… ummm… stuff. I was reading an article in the latest Official Nintendo Magazine. Hyrule Warriors looks and sounds AMAZING. Definitely wanna try and pick it up next month if I can afford it.

6 Way Escape the Cage match. Unfortunately the winner has to try and carry Lashley to a watchable match.

Eric Young? Huh, thought they would have put him in an injury angle claiming his neck was broken or something :side:.

Gunner and Magnus with jobber entrances.

Nice to know that Christy Hemme is keeping up tradition by announcing Bobby Roode as Bobby Rooooooooo.

Oh hey, just realised the 6 sided ring is back. I guess that’s the impact the ring has had on me…

Oh look, all the babyfaces have submission holds on all the heels. That gets a This is Awesome chant. TNA fans are super easy to please.

:lmao Eric Young starts climbing the cage. Roode climbs the other side. Young is ahead of Roode… yet he STOPS and turns around and waits for Roode to see him so they can do a scramble spot as they both race to get out :lmao. Oh god that was bad. Both of them land at the same time and we are left without knowing a winner. Yey.

Well, I guess I’ll stop watching TNA for another 6 months or so. You know, assuming they are still around.

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