Unforgiven 2004 PPV Ramblings

Posted on: September 14th, 2014 by Big Cal

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Unforgiven 2004

 

The beginning of Orton Vs HHH feud. That would last forever. And suck the entire time outside of two matches. Yey…

 

Ric Flair & Batista Vs Chris Benoit & William Regal

Well FUCK ME this sounds awesome on paper. I did see this not too long ago, because it sounded AWESOME ON PAPER. Unfortunately I don’t remember ANTYHING about it. Guess we’ll have to wait and see if that’s a good thing or not :p.

Batista comes out of the box throwing punches, so Benoit avoids them and counters into a Crossface attempt! LOL, fuck you Batista. Batista comes back trying to use his power, so Benoit counters into a dragon screw leg whip! Ha. TAG TO REGAL :mark:.

Regal being all BOSSY and throwing Batista around with a great suplex. Man oh man, add Finlay to this mix and you’d have the GOAT 3 man team. They would have been perfect to go up against EVOLUTION while HHH was busy with someone else over the title or something (though obviously that’s fucked at this point because Orton is the guy keeping HHH busy lol).

FLAIR AND BENOIT :mark:. CHOPS~!

Regal tagged in :mark:. ELBOING THE FUCK OUT OF FLAIR :mark:.

GOAT FLAIR SPOT EVER :mark:.

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Flair tries to get back into things with a thumb to the eye and shots to the knee, but REGAL is too MANLY to drop to just that.

MOAR AWESOME FLAIR :mark:. Benoit chops him so hard he keeps trying to drop down forward, but Benoit holds him up and chops him some more :mark:.

:lmao ENZIGURI to Flair, and it sends him over to Batista for a tag, but he just stands there and does ANOTHER Flair Flop :lmao. This is already the greatest thing ever.

Regal and Benoit are OWNING this tag match so far. Tons of quick tags, great wrestling, and hard CHOPS.

Then the power of Batista comes into play finally for Evolution, and we get the awesome mix of power from Batista and wrestling/experience/CHEATING from the Nature Boy :mark:. And Regal is the FIP too :mark:. Benoit would probably be BETTER, but I’m all for Regal being in the match the longest haha. Plus, you know, Regal is still fucking AWESOME.

Screw what I just said, I’m not even sure Benoit would have been better, because Regal is killing it. He’s awesome at FACES, and I love how he screams in pain whenever Flair chop blocks his knee.

Poor Regal gets mauled, then a hot tag to Benoit and we get more Benoit Vs Flair :mark:. Insane seeing OLD MAN FLAIR taking MULTIPLE GERMAN SUPLEXES. I love crazy old man Flair. Better than 90’s Flair.

DIVING HEADBUTT~! SHARPSHOOTER ATTEMPT~! THUMB TO THE EYE~! CROSSFACE~!

:mark: Batista just picking Benoit up out of the Crossface while he’s got it locked in on Flair was awesome. Now THAT is how you break up a fucking submission!!!

:lmao Regal still being awesome on the outside, sending Batista into the ring post WHICH ONLY MAKES HIM MAD. Batista charges at Regal for a clotheslines, Regal ducks and Batista flies into the crowd :lmao.

CROSSFACE TO FLAIR~! TAP OUT~! REGAL AND FLAIR ARE OFFICIALLY THE GREATEST TAG TEAM EVER!!!

This was great. Truly. So much damn fun with some great quality to boot. Even Batista didn’t drag this down at any point. True, Flair worked most of the match, but yeah. All awesome.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Christian backstage with his lover. And Trish too. Ha. Get it? HE AND TYSON ARE GAY. Is what I was getting it. I’M FUNNY.

 

Victoria Vs Trish Stratus – WWE Women’s Championship

Ummm… no. They did some great stuff in 2002, but I don’t have much faith in them in 2004, especially with Trish as the heel and Victoria no longer being a crazy mental chick.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

So after the match, Tomko gets hold of Victoria, but some dude in drag shows up and stops him. Tomko decides to call him out. I genuinely don’t fucking remember ANY of this :lmao. I’m interested to see who it is :lmao. THEY MAKE IT A MATCH TOO. BEFORE WE FIND OUT WHO IT IS :lmao. It’s Steven Richards. LOL.

Tomko Vs Steven Richards

I am not watching this.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Chris Jericho Vs Christian – Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match

Don’t remember this match at all. I LOVE their WM match… but not sure if adding a ladder to the mix is gonna keep up the awesomeness.

:lmao this was made into a ladder match because Christian turned down a cage match as the last time he had a cage match with Jericho, he injured his back and was out for a few months. THAT WON’T HAPPEN IN A LADDER MATCH THOUGH!!! :lmao

We get a nice WRESTLING match early on between these two, making me remember why I adore their WM match so much, before a ladder comes into play.

COME ON, YOU ASS CLOWN~!

A ladder match… where they fight in the crowd! I can only assume Christian wants to take him out there so Jericho would have to both recover and THEN make his way back to the ring in order to prevent Christian from climbing a ladder and winning.

But nope, Christian actually brings Jericho back, then loses control :lmao. POINTLESS~!

:mark: sweeeet sequence on the outside ending in an UNPRETTIER ON THE FLOOR :mark:. Jericho is DEAD.

Christian realises this and goes for a ladder. COME ON CHRISTIAN!!!!

CHRISTIAN HAS THE BELT IN HIS HAND!!! Bah, Jericho is back up. Christian decides to punish him for being a cunt and getting up from his finisher on the floor. Which results in Christian going face first into a ladder. DAMMIT JERICHO.

:mark: Jericho goes face first into the ladder. LETS GO CHRISTIAN *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*.

Lol, almost ALL of the ladder spots in this match so far have just been people running into the ladder (in different ways) face first. And I LOVE IT. Makes a change from people having to rely on dumb spots off the top of a ladder or whatever. I bet they watched Hardy/RVD from SS 01 and based this match on what NOT to do in a ladder match. Because that one is the WORST ladder match ever. I mean so fucking bad you have to be brain dead to think it’s anything beyond the worst thing ever. And ugly too. Bet fans of that are UGLY. Probably an awful taste in music too.

Ooooo, Jericho takes on NASTY bump into a ladder in the corner and gets his leg all caught up and shit. He can barely even STAND UP, allowing Christian to climb the ladder… but just as he gets to the top, Jericho taunts him! Christian takes exception to that and comes back down to dish out some more punishment, but Jericho suckered him in!!! BULLDOG ONTO THE LADDER~!

LIONSAULT ON A LADDER~! CHRISTIAN MOVED~! HA~!

CHRISTIAN HAS THE BELT~! But Jericho takes the ladder out from under him, leaving Captain Charisma hanging!!! LADDER TO THE GUT~! CHRISTIAN CRASHES DOWN WITHOUT THE TITLE!

Walls of Jericho on the ladder, but it looks kinda sucky compared to the Benoit 01 match. Jericho lets go, reaches for the belt and Christian pulls the ladder out from under him this time and Jericho falls like a fucking rock and smashes his lower back on the side of the ladder. FUCKING OUCH.

First really MAJOR bump off the ladder comes with Jericho smashing Christian face first off the top of the ladder to the mat, and that allows Jericho to climb back up and win the match!

Overall I do like a LOT in this match… however at the same time is does feel like it drags (dead crowd didn’t help), and they just seem to stay in one gear. Similar I guess to the HHH/Benoit Iron Man earlier in the year. They do some good stuff but never go into that higher gear to make it more memorable or better.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

LITA COMING OUT OF KANE’S LOCKER ROOM. WHAT A SLUT. She’s rooting for Shawn in the match against her “husband” Kane lol.

 

Kane Vs Shawn Michaels – No DQ Match

Kane took out HBK my smashing his throat or something, so LITA (FAP? FAP!), as Kane’s unwilling wife, signed HBK’s name on an open contract to face Kane tonight hoping that HBK would send Kane TO HELL.

UPPERCUT TO THE THROAT :mark:. If Kane works over Shawn’s throat in this match I’ll be happy.

Shawn starts to brawl with Kane and… it’s not great :p. He does this thing where he hits Kane once, then just kinda moves around before hitting him again, all the while Kane just stands there waiting for the next shot.

KANE USES PREGNANT LITA AS A SHIELD~!

:lmao the evil announce table is at it again. Press slam to Shawn onto it and IT DOESN’T BREAK. So Kane suplexes him through it instead. I watch too much Botchamania because all I can picture now is the table lauging in some weird accent :lmao.

Bah, Kane is being dull as shit in control. At least CHOKE Shawn or something to target the throat. He’ll do something every now and then that goes after the throat, then he’ll go to something else like a fucking chin lock. And I mean a literally chin lock. He grabs HIS CHIN with one hand and the top of his head with the other. Looks terrible :lmao.

Shawn is bleeding. I have no idea how or when that even happened.

HBK comeback. Stuff. Wow this isn’t good at all. I’m BORED. Never a good sign lol.

Worst Sweet Chin Music ever, and I think the pun was botched too tbh.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

La Resistance Vs Tajiri & Rhyno – World Tag Team Championship Match

I think I was told to avoid all La Resistance matches from this year too. But this has TAJIRI in it. I AM CONFUSED.

Fuck it. NOOOOO.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Randy Orton Vs Triple H – World Heavyweight Championship Match

Maybe this will end up like RR 05, and I’ll be super surprised by how awesome it actually is. That could totally happen, right? RIGHT?

Oh god 30 minutes left on the show. DON’T MAKE ME WATCH IT :(.

They lock up, the push each other, the slap each other. Couple of fucking bitches in this match apparently… :p.

Lawler goes on a tirade on how Orton is inexperienced and shit because he takes the match to the outside and risks getting counted out. WHICH WOULD MEAN HE RETAINS THE FUCKING TITLE. Something TRIPLE H would approve of :lmao.

Leg work. HHH does some leg work.

17 minutes left? Fuck.

Orton tries to make a comeback and… HHH is bleeding. The fuck? TWICE IN ONE SHOW and I don’t even notice how or when someone BLEEDS? LOL.

Oh look HHH trying to be Ric Flair.

Oh look, ref bump. Followed by Evolution interference. And a low blow.

THE COACH runs down and puts on a referee shirt. Makes a 2 count and gets knocked out :lmao. Best part of this match so far.

RKO TO THE COACH~!

Fuck me how long is this “Batista and Flair run into the ring and get knocked out the come back in again” gonna last?

CHAIR TO ORTON. PEDIGREE ON THE CHAIR. Thank fuck it’s over. HHH wins. Whatever.

God this is AWFUL. I mean AWFUL.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 3

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