Been about 6 weeks since I last did one of these rambles. Hope this has a couple of good matches so I’m not coming back to a shitty PPV .
The Coach & Garrison Cade Vs Tajiri & Rhyno
So the first match involves The Coach and Garrison Cade? Hopefully Tajiri and Rhyno can offset the awfulness lol.
Coach acts all cocky and decides to start the match off… so RHYNO gets in the ring with him, and Coach pretty much shats himself and begs Cade to tag in .
Slow start, then Cade gets angry and slaps Rhyno. He fucking SLAPS RHYNO. Methinks that may have been a mistake. Rhyno fucking unloads on poor Cade with huge rights to the face. Cade gets in a knee to the gut, and Rhyno staggers back for a moment, then screams and fires back with moar shots to the face .
TAJIRI TAGS IN . KICKS COACH ON THE APRON .
Heels gain control and Coach starts to work over TAJIRI. He’s mostly ok, I mean, all things considering, Coach is better than a lot of the current roster . Looks a little awkward doing certain moves but he’s far from bad.
Coach mocks Tajiri by bowing down, after slamming him to the mat… so Tajiri kicks him in the face when he’s bent over . Someone needs to make a super comp of nothing but Tajiri kicking people. I’d buy a 3 disc Bluray set of nothing but that!
HOT TAG~! Rhyno cleans house, then Tajiri makes a blind tag and ignores Cade, instead going right after Coach.
MIST TO CADE~! Tajiri was aiming for Coach but he moved.
GORE TO CADE~! Rhyno was aiming for Coach but he moved.
KICK TO COACH~! Coach couldn’t avoid that, and this is done.
Fun tag to start things off. TAJIRI. RHYNO. Hell, I’m becoming a bit of a Coach mark tbh lol. He was solid in the ring, lots of charisma, played a pretty good heel and got heat. What more do you want?
CAL SCALE – 1
Evolution are backstage. Everyone looks confused and worried about the Eugene situation, and demand answers from HHH. HHH has Eugene tagging with Flair tonight for the tag belts I think, lol. They end up arguing over whose turn it was to watch Eugene . Turns out Benoit is talking to Eugene, trying to explain that Evolution are using him. Christ, good luck explaining that to a retard .
Chris Jericho Vs Batista
Sweet jebus is this boring lol. Batista works the back of Jericho, and well, he just sits in a couple of different holds for 10 minutes until they pick up the pace going into a finish.
Lionsault is kinda botched lol. Jericho lands it but Batista was supposed to get his knees up… and he does… but Jericho still lands on Batista WHILE his knees are up… just not up where they can HIT Jericho .
Powerbomb. Jericho foot is on ropes. Ref doesn’t see. Match is over. I wasted 10 minutes on this. Wasn’t awful, just dull as fuck.
CAL SCALE – 0
MOAR Evolution backstage. Eugene walks in all upset after his conversation with Benoit. HHH uses the fact he heard their conversation to further manipulate him. HHH. Manipulating a retard. And he still ends up getting outsmarted .
HHH has a surprise for Eugene. It’s a Flair robe. at the look on Flair when he hands it over.
La Resistance Vs Ric Flair & Eugene – World Tag Team Championship Match
No way can I sit through this .
CAL SCALE – -1
Kane Vs Matt Hardy – No DQ Match
Well this had potential to be a fun fight. Plus, LITA FAP FAP likely at ringside .
Oh man, the build up to this match . LITA IS CARRYING KANE’S BABY SO SHE CAN’T MARRY MATT HARDY . Someone was watching a soap before coming to work that week…
A year later and in real life, Lita and Matt would break up because she was slutting it up with Edge. HOW DID MATT NOT SEE THAT COMING AFTER THIS?!?! .
Hardy punches Kane and HE’S the one that falls down .
Hardy is wasting no time here anyway. Jumps Kane at the start, punches him over and over, then smashes him in the head with a monitor. Then Hardy ends up taking a pretty sweet bump off the announce table into the barricade . FUN BRAWL so far! Just what I was hoping for .
Kane puts a pretty good beating on Hardy, and Matt takes a few nasty looking bumps too. He’s always overshadowed by Jeff when it comes to being a risk taker in the ring, but Matt takes a bunch of nutty bumps and takes them well and deserves to be noticed.
Kane gets shit on every now and then, and I guess I can see why at times. Sometimes he’s good, sometimes he’s just not lol. But he also should be recognised for taking some of the shots he takes, mainly from weapons. The early shot to the face with the monitor looked full on, and Hardy just smashed him in the face with the ring bell and Kane didn’t look like he protected shit.
YEY LITA . She runs down (bouncy bouncy) to protect Matt from being mauled by Kane and the ring steps. Kane drops them because he doesn’t want to risk his baby getting hurt. He sends Lita out of the ring, grabs the steps again… and Hardy smashes a chair into them! Kane drops, the stairs drop on his head and MATT WINS!!
Yeah, fun brawl. hard hitting, some great shots from both men. I liked.
CAL SCALE – 2
Randy Orton Vs Edge – Intercontinental Championship Match
Hmmm… this match has me interested. They’ve had some up and down chemistry over the years. Some shite matches, and some really good ones. This one is a match I remember being really good, but I also remember it having a bunch of HEADLOCK SPOTS. Interested to see how I feel about it today.
HUGE “let’s go Orton” chants. And he’s the heel . YOU SUCK, EDGE!
Oh look, they are both doing that criss-cross ropes run thing. For absolutely NO REASON. I hate that spot. Unless it’s part of a comedy routine in a match (which usually isn’t good either, but whatever), it just makes both guys look retarded. Wasting energy running up and down for no reason whatsoever. Morons.
Orton’s leaving! Yey!!!
Edge is bringing him back! Booo!!!
Ha, Orton is doing those clubs to the chest in the ropes that Sheamus does!
Orton applying a hold to Edge. Yep, applying a hold. Not sat in a rest hold! I miss the days when people would do that. You know, work a hold. He’s cranking on the arm and twisting Edge’s neck and looking like he’s actually trying to hurt the guy AND make him tap, rather than sitting there wasting time.
Orton takes one hell of a bump off a baseball slide, where he launches himself backwards and ends up smashing the side of his face into the side of the announce table. Edge is getting in some offence and putting Orton in trouble, and the fans are firmly behind Orton still .
SPEAR ATTEMPT~! COUNTERED WITH A KICK TO THE FACE~! HA~!
And now a “let’s go Edge” chant. MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MINDS DAMMIT!!!
Fucks sake lol, they’ve switched back to “let’s go Orton” . He plays it up well being a heel, telling them he doesn’t need their help, and goes back to mauling Edge’s neck.
Here comes the HEADLOCKS~! And man oh man they look WONDERFUL. Orton is WORKING them like a pro, and it makes perfect sense for him to use it too since he’s been targeting that neck of Edge. So happy that the headlocks hold up lol. I was worried that they’d end up like rest holds and my younger self was stupid. BUT I WASN’T SO HA.
Edge tried to rake Orton’s eyes to escape the headlock, but Orton manages to avoid it and BITES HIS FINGERS instead .
They do the old “3 arm drop and this is over” spot… and EDGE’S ARM DROPS THREE TIMES… but the match isn’t over. Because uhhh… he got it up after it dropped? Or because it dropped on Orton rather than the mat? I dunno lol.
Oh man, they have one hell of a finishing stretch. Some great near falls, without overusing bigger moves/finishers. In the end Edge picks up the win and is the new IC champ.
Man, I fucking enjoyed this. Orton looked tremendous in it, as he often did during this time. WORKING those headlocks makes me so inside lol. Edge was fine, he didn’t do anything bad, but Orton was the clear standout of the match for me. Held up extremely well!
Wow, just noticed that the match was over 25 minutes long! That fucking FLEW by. Awesome.
CAL SCALE – 5
Victoria Vs Molly Holly – WWE Women’s Championship Match
CAL SCALE – -1
Chris Benoit Vs Triple H – World Heavyweight Championship Match
Oh man, the build up to this match. HHH is trying to win back the WHC with the help of a RETARD .
They start out trading basic wrestling holds; headlock takeovers etc, with HHH trying to show Benoit up, then Benoit coming back and doing the same thing to HHH but faster and better. So HHH decides to use his superior power to try and cancel out the superior wrestling ability of the champ. How does that turn out?
KNEE TO THE FACE~! And that allows HHH to begin his control segment. Love Benoit during HHH’s control segment a hell of a lot more than HHH lol. He bumps tremendously to make HHH’s offence look DEADLY, and I always enjoy how Benoit keeps fighting no matter what, always managing to get in some chops here and there at the very least, making HHH WORK for that control.
Hell even when Benoit starts mounting offence, he looks like he has to FIGHT for everything he gets. Something he likely brings out in people, because he does it to them so he expects it right back. One of the things that made Benoit so damn good. Say what you will about him, but the Mr Kennedy shoot interview is a great watch and him talking about Benoit in the ring is great to listen to as he talks about how Benoit works and always makes you fight for everything.
BRET HART TURNBUCKLE SPOT~! Love that spot. Bret did it wonderfully, and Benoit might have done it better than I’ve ever seen Bret do it here. TWICE. He just runs full on into the turnbuckle and screams in pain like it was the most brutal thing ever. And you can believe it hurt like fuck too because of the speed he went into the damn thing. A very simple but super effective spot.
After those two spots, HHH begins to work over the chest of Benoit, and I love how he sets up a vertical suplex, but switches it up and throws Benoit forward and down on his chest. Smart work, and great looking move too, once again because of how Benoit takes it and sells it.
We get some more of HHH applying holds to wear down Benoit, and Benoit does his awesome selling and constantly trying to fight back, and manages to lock in the same holds to HHH after escaping them, but never being able to do much with them because he’s too hurt to hold HHH in position. Good stuff!
Maybe I’m looking too much into this whole thing lol (as I tend to do sometimes ), but I love the idea of Benoit trying to use the same holds as HHH to inflict punishment on him as he received, but because of his injury HHH would always counter… but the Sharpshooter allowed Benoit to basically just SIT on HHH and apply the pressure to hurt him and allow Benoit to recover a little and get back into this match.
Fuck me, that was a STUNNING looking suicide dive from Benoit. No surprise that he’s good at that, I guess .
REF BUMP~! HHH calls for Eugene to come out, but before HHH can get him to do anything, Benoit locks in the Crossface! He screams at Eugene to get the referee but Eugene is conflicted. HHH taps! Still no ref… and Eugene looks like he’s gonna get in the ring instead and help HHH… so Benoit DECKS HIM . Benoit is upset that he had to do it, and allows HHH to hit a low blow and Pedigree!
Eugene rolls the referee back in and… KICK OUT~! BENOIT KICKS OUT~!
STEEL CHAIR~! BUT EUGENE TRIES TO TAKE IT AWAY~! HHH KNOCKS DOWN EUGENE~!
Holy shit lol, Benoit just kinda runs into HHH and decks him in the face… with the chair in front of it . Almost like he clotheslined the chair into his face. Looked awesome.
Man, as great as this match has been, the finishing stretch is fucking me off . Eugene. Then Eugene. More Eugene. A steel chair. Evolution run in. Followed by Eugene and a chair. Well, sort of. He has the chair, then spends an hour trying to decide who to hit, before giving up. Benoit tries to fight him for the chair, and in the end Eugene accidentally smashes it in HHH’s face . Roll up, and Benoit retains lol.
Yeah, great match. HHH worked a smart match and Benoit looked like the greatest worker ever during it all. The Eugene stuff at the finish bothers me, mainly because they over used him. Instead of just coming down and doing the chair spot, they tease him doing shit for like 5 minutes in multiple situations and in the end you just want him to fuck off .
CAL SCALE – 4
Overall CAL SCALE – 10