One Night Stand 2005 PPV Ramblings

Posted on: November 30th, 2014 by Big Cal

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One Night Stand 2005

 

Getting this out of the way now. Original ECW fans, prepare to hate me for the rest of eternity.

 

Joey Styles get announced and looks like he’s gonna cry cos the fans chant his name lol. He brings out CACTUS JACK as his co-commentator. HOLY SHIT THEY ACTUALLY KEPT IN THE CACTUS JACK MUSIC. Seriously, how have they always put in some shitty version of that on DVD in the past?

 

Lance Storm Vs Chris Jericho

Former tag partners here, and they had each other’s first match ever too! Storm would consider this his last match for a couple of years until ROH threw some money at him :p.

ARM DRAGS~!

Fook me that dropkick from Storm was pretty epic. Looked perfect and looked like it nailed Jericho RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE too.

ONE ARM STALLING SUPLEX FROM STORM~!

NICELY DONE MICKLES~! :lmao

TIGER SUPLEX FROM JERICHO~!

SUPERKICK FROM STORM~!

Match is very back and forth moves-y stuff, with both guys countering each other and hitting moves then getting countered and being hit by moves and I guess in THIS instance I can sort of forgive it because they trained together and were tag partners and kayfabe “know each other inside out”.

Interference from Justin Credible and… ummmm… some other dude. KENDO STICK TO JERICHO~! Storm wins.

Match was decent at best. Not horrible, but not exactly good lol.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

Nice video tribute to all the fallen wrestlers who appeared in ECW over the years.

 

Tajiri Vs Little Guido Vs Super Crazy

SINISTER MINISTER JAMES MITCHELL :mark:. Fuck me, Mickey Whipwreck got fat lol.

F.B.I. :mark:. Big Guido is one big motherfucker lol. TRACY SMOTHERS :mark:. Not sure why he’s with the F.B.I. though lol.

HE’S SUPER. HE’S CRAZY. HE’S GOT ONE HELL OF A THEME.

:lmao at Joey Styles calling the referee a poor bastard having to referee this match.

MOONSAULT OFF THE BALCONY~! Super Crazy really is SUPER CRAZY~!

:lmao ECW fans chanting in Spanish as Super Crazy does the 10 punches in the corner. That’s awesome.

ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE~! TAJIRI IS OWNING FUCKING EVERYONE~! He eliminates Guido.

Super Crazy keeps hitting Moonsaults lol. I’m sure that’s a thing he does but fuck if I know lol.

POWERBOMB~! MOONSAULT~! Tajiri is done and Super Crazy wins this match.

Fun. They go all out for the short amount of time they got and it was fun. Nothing more needs to be said.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

 

Psicosis Vs Rey Mysterio

Can’t say I’m a fan of their previous ECW matches back in the day. But Rey had improved a TON in WWE so maybe we’ll get something I will enjoy here. Maybe.

:lmao Psicosis took his mask off at the start of the match and Joey Styles put over how huge it was and how it shows that he respects the fans and shit… and 2 minutes into the match the fans are chanting “put the mask on” at him :lmao.

The fans aren’t having much fun in this match :lmao. Until Psicosis hits a legdrop off the top rope to Rey who is on the guard rail, which looked fucking SICK.

:lmao Psicosis goes shoulder first into the ring post then takes a retarded bump off it outside of the ring and over the guard rail, just so we could get a Rey spot where he jumps over the ropes onto Psicosis in the fans.

West Coast Pop and this is over. Wow. This wasn’t very good :lmao.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Angle, JBL and some other SD stars show up to “invade” aka sit and watch the show. FUCK YOU SMACKDOWN chant. NO, FUCK YOU ECW. SMACKDOWN IS AWESOME. Well… maybe not so much in 2005 but 2005 SD > ECW any year except when WWE took it over. SUCK ON THAT, BITCHES!

Joel Gertner shows up and… gets booted out by JBL. PROMO TIME FROM THE SD STARS~!

Fans to Angle: YOU SUCK DICK.

Angle to fans: YOU’RE MOTHERS TAUGHT ME HOW.

Well done Kurt. You just admitted you suck dick. LOL.

JBL promo~! Awesome stuff from him.

RVD returns and interrupts him. RVD is in a leg brace though cos his knee be fucked. So we don’t get him in a match on the show. Oh what a shame. He cuts a pretty decent promo, as like he says, he wasn’t limited to “whatever” and “cool” lol.

GORE! GORE! GOOOOOOOORE!!! Rhino just fucking GORED an injured RVD to fucking hell :mark:. Lights go out and… Sabu. This is a match apparently lol?

 

Rhino Vs Sabu

RHINO :mark:. Shame he’s stuck with Sabu.

CHAIR TO RHINO’S HEAD.

What the? Did that just happen? Did I see what I think I saw? OH MY GOD! Sabu just ran the ropes, jumped on a chair, jumped off the chair onto the top rope then dived off onto Rhino… AND HE DIDN’T BOTCH IT.

Good guy Sabu pulls the referee in front of him to avoid a Gore lol. PILEDRIVER~!

RVD gets involved and lobs a chair into Rhino’s face. He sets Rhino up on a table, and Sabu leg drops him through it using a chair too. This is done.

Meh.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Al Snow talking to head. Apparently head invited the Smackdown stars lol.

 

Raw stars arrive now. WILLIAM REGAL~! He’s more hardcore than any ECW guy tbh. CHRISTIAN~! He would be the greatest ECW champion ever 4 years later!!!

 

Chris Benoit Vs Eddie Guerrero

On paper this looks :mark:. Hell not too long before this, on Smackdown, they had a fucking TREMENDOUS match. So they are certainly capable of putting on a classic here.

Ahhh typical ECW fans. You have 2 INCREDIBLE wrestlers having a match and they are busy chanting shit at people (Raw & SD guys) in the crowd. Just like the Eddie/Malenko matches from back in the day!

Fans finally pay attention to the match and chant for both guys. ABOUT TIME YOU STUPID ECW FUCKS 8*D.

Eddie is bleeding from the nose. EEEEE SEEE DUB! EEEEE SEEEE DUB!

Oh wait, back to chanting shit at the Raw & SD guys.

Though tbh there isn’t much happening in the ring. They’ve chopped each other a ton, then Eddie has used a couple of sleepers and… that’s about it really so far lol.

SUPERPLEX~! MISSED FROG SPLASH~!

Benoit hits a few different suplexes. HEADBUTT. Eddie kicks out.

Crossface. Eddie taps.

Wow, this was a giant ton of fuck all. Disappointing as HELL.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Joel Gertner comes back and wants to ask Bischoff a question. CAN HE PLEASE HAVE A JOB? :lmao

 

Mike Awesome Vs Masato Tanaka

Oh boy. These guys have some OVERRATED AS FUCK matches during the original ECW days. This always gets praised too. Will I like it though?

:lmao Styles burying Awesome because of the WCW deal back in the day :p.

“SUICIDE DIVE BY MIKE AWESOME. AND IT’S A SHAME HE DIDN’T SUCCEED IN TAKING HIS OWN LIFE” Ummmm… I ain’t touching that one :p.

AWESOME BOMB OFF THE APRON THROUGH A TABLE~!

SPLASH OFF THE TOP ROPE~!

Ok, finisher through a table. Splash from a 300lb man off the top rope. This is over now, right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ANOTHER AWESOME BOMB~!

MULTIPLE HARD SHOTS TO THE HEAD AND TANAKA NO SELLS THE FUCK OUT OF ALL OF THEM BECAUSE EEEEEE SEEEE DUB! EEEEE SEEE DUB!

TORNADO DDT ONTO A CHAIR~!

2 count, obviously.

I’d make a joke about Angle putting this match together, but the sad thing is they were having these kind of matches long before Angle was.

CHAIR TO THE HEAD WHILE JUMPING OFF THE ROPES~!

Awesome doesn’t even bother going for the cover because in what world would THAT be the finish? Certainly not the world of EEEEE SEEEE DUB! EEEEE SEEE DUB!

Awesome wrestles with a couple of tables.

TORNADO DDT THROUGH THE TABLE~!

:lmao 2 count. I bet Cena watches this match for porn. NEW PORN GENRE~! 2 COUNT PORN~!

AWESOME BOMB OFF THE ROPES ONTO THE ALREADY BROKEN TABLE~!

2 count again. Because EEEEEE SEEEEE DUB! EEEEE SEEEE DUB!

Awesome spends 5 minutes setting up another table on the floor.

AWESOME BOMB THROUGH THE TABLE~! AWESOME FOLLOWS IT UP WITH A SPLASH AND HOLY SHIT GETS THE 3 COUNT!

Fuck me what a pile of dogshit. Nothing but finishers through tables or onto chairs.

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

PAUL HEYMAN~! My favourite part of ECW lol. Such a shame he wasted all his years on ECW and not something good 8*D.

Heyman thanks a bunch of people, then shoots on the WWE guys :mark:. 2 WORDS: MATT FREAKIN’ HARDY!

 

The Dudley Boys Vs Tommy Dreamer & Sandman

Main event time! THANK FUCK.

No Enter Sandman on the DVD. Bah. Cheap bastards. Can throw money at Motorhead nonstop for the last decade but Metallica? Ironically only if HHH is using the theme for himself or a match he’s involved in…

Even worse about all of that is the fact Motorhead did a cover of Enter Sandman which I fucking LOVE and prefer to the original. WHY DIDN’T YOU PAY MOTORHEAD FOR THAT AT LEAST? Cheap cunty bastards.

I know I’m talking a lot about Sandman’s theme… but let’s face it, there is more to discuss there than there is his in ring skills 8*D.

:lmao at Devon dancing to Sandman’s theme.

BWO IN DA HOUSE~! Anything to keep this match from actually starting :lmao.

STEVIE KICK TO SANDMAN~!

Kid Kash MR TNA TOTAL NONSTOP ATTITUDE :lmao.

Balls and Axel come down with chairs too because EEEEE SEEE DUB. EEEE SEEE DUB.

Obvious set up to dive over the ropes is obvious.

Match finally starts. Boooo :p.

Dreamer has a cheese grater. He’s probably just hungry.

CHEESE GRATER TO THE OPEN WOUND ON DREAMER’S HEAD WHICH WAS ORIGINALLY CAUSED BY… EEEEEE SEEEEE DUB. EEEEEE SEEEE DUB.

OH MY GOD! DREAMER JUST HIT BUBBA IN THE FACE WITH A PLASTIC BEER CUP! EEEEEE SEEEEE DUB! EEEEEE SEEEE DUB!

:lmao at Sandman doing the Figure Four. I’ll make an educated guess and say he’s drunk :p.

STORM AND CREDIBLE~!

SOME ECW WOMEN KICKING DREAMER IN THE BALLS~!

BEULAH CAT FIGHT WITH THE WOMEN~! ONLY SHE GETS TO PLAY WITH DREAMER’S BALLS DAMMIT!

:lmao at the DDT from Beulah on Bubba. Bubba falls before she does :lmao.

MY GOD HE JUST CRUSHED THE MAN’S BALLS~! :lmao

Powerbomb to Sandman through a table. Of course that’s only a 2 count.

3-D to Dreamer!!!

Table gets set up, and out comes SPIKE~! He has lighter fluid.

FLAMING TABLE~!

POWERBOMB TO DREAMER THROUGH A FLAMING TABLE~!

And this match is done.

Thankfully.

Was mildly entertaining. MILDLY. BARELY. NOT SOMETHING I’D CALL GOOD STILL.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

Dreamer is hurt and just got powerbombed through a table so… Sandman calls for a beer! And who brings it? STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!!!

All the ECW guys comes out for a beer bash. And then the WWE guys invade and start a brawl. JBL beats the fuck out of the Blue Meanie for real. TAZ shows up. Chokes out Angle.

Foley drags Bischoff to the ring to get his arse mauled too. None of the WWE guys seem to want to help him lol.

3-D TO BISCHOFF~!

DIVING HEADBUTT FROM BENOIT~!

619 FROM MYSTERIO~!

FUCK ECW~!

STUNNER~!

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 2

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