No Mercy 2005
This is the event that got me back into wrestling after I kinda gave up on it following WM 21 when Cena and Batista were both champions! I saw an advert hours before the event started, showing Eddie Guerrero Vs Batista which make me think we might see EDDIE win the title, and a CASKET MATCH with The Undertaker against Randy & Bob Orton!
MNM Vs LOD & Christy Hemme
Christy and Melina. FAP FAP FAP.
HEIDENROPE~! Good start to the match with Michael Cole unable to call Heidenreich by his actual name .
LOD want to kill MNM because not only did they interfere in a match on Smackdown, but they gave Christy the Snapshot!!!
Animal has a bad shoulder, so MNM focus their offence on it, and they are able to land a Snapshot within the first few minutes!
ANIMAL KICKS OUT!
Well… MNM just had their finisher nullified within the first 5 minutes. Where the fuck do they go from here?
Melina puts a head scissors on Animal. Everyone watching is jealous.
Animal hits a powerslam and has the chance to make a tag… so he goes for a cover instead . I hope Heidenreich kicks his injured arm out of his arm for that .
Melina tags herself in because she doesn’t want Animale to make a tag. Animal catches her and tags in Christy. DOOMSDAY DEVICE FROM ANIMAL AND CHRISTY TO MELINA~!
Melina totally sandbags being turned over into the pin .
Well this was fine. Fun. MNM rule.
CAL SCALE – 0.5
Batista and Eddie! They wish each other good luck in the most unconvincing way EVER.
Simon Dean Vs Bobby Lashley
I remember when I saw this live. I obviously hadn’t watched for a couple of months and hadn’t seen Lashley before. I thought he was Monty Brown from TNA . That’s not racist, right?
20 DOUBLE CHEESEBURGERS~! Well now I’m hungry. If Simon doesn’t win tonight, he’s gonna eat all 20 of the burgers!
So this is Lashley’s FIRST PPV. Damn, he was in the SVS Raw Vs SD match after only being on PPV ONCE before?
Simon Dean distracts the referee… BY THROWING BURGERS . Then he uses the tray to deck Lashley, who no sells it, and proceeds to botch a cool attempt at setting up the Dominator .
CAL SCALE – 0
Is JBL standing on a box? Because fuck, he’s towering above Rey more than I think he should lol.
Chris Benoit Vs Christian Vs Booker T Vs Orlando Jordan – WWE United States Championship Match
Fans pop like crazy at the announcement of the fatal four way lol. Unsure of this one. Half the talent involved are tremendous. The other half are Booker T and Orlando Jordan.
Early on Benoit is on fire. Firsty he takes an awesome turnbuckle bump that sends him to the outside for a minute or so allowing the heels to double team Booker T. He bumps so fecking well from it you can easily believe that would take him out for a while. Then when he comes back in he fucking DOMINATES.
Bah, we end up with a Benoit/Booker staredown as the commentators CONSTANTLY tell us about their history with the Best of 7 Series in WCW over the US title. Almost like they want us to remember it in case they do something similar .
Benoit took that awesome bump into the turnbuckle, then Christian damn near kills himself bumping off the top rope to the floor! Benoit takes the same bump at the same time but doesn’t do it with quite the style of CAPTAIN CHARISMA~!
Basically everything good about this match comes from Benoit and Christian, be it their bumping or them on offence. The number of people surprised by this is equal to the number of people who think Chavo Guerrero Jr is a worthy addition to the family… .
In the end Benoit retains when he makes Christian tap out. This would also be the last WWE PPV Christian would wrestle on (he appeared at TT backstage as an option for a match) until 2009!
Nothing special here, but yeah, Benoit and Christian make it more than just watchable. I mostly had fun tbh.
Sharmell tells Booker that Chris Benoit is not his friend and he made him lose. Setting up that heel turn and Best of 7 Series. Urgh.
CAL SCALE – 0.5
Mr Kennedy Vs Hardcore Holly
Is this Kennedy’s first PPV match? Why am I even wondering this. I’ve WATCHED all the PPV’s from 2005 prior to this one except for Vengeance, and I know he wasn’t on that one .
THE ALABAMA SLAMMA HARDCORE HOLLY . THAT’S HOW HE GETS INTRODUCED .
Holly beats Kennedy up. I have fun with it .
Then Kennedy works the arm. And by work I mean sits in a hold for about a minute. I stopped having fun at this point .
HO.LY.SHIT. Holly lands a flapjack on Kennedy that might be the most vicious version of the move I have EVER seen.
Then THIS happens:
Kennedy wins. This was pretty fucking awful tbh lol.
CAL SCALE – 0
JBL Vs Rey Mysterio
What was the deal with Jillian Hall’s thing on her face? Is that one of those infamous ideas that Vince McMahon thinks is hilarious and does it even though it’s retarded? The thing is quite obviously fake lol, nobody in their right mind think it’s real, yet everyone on the show always acts like it is .
Also, she is apparently JBL’s image consultant. What on earth, during all her time with him, did she ACTUALLY do? She’s the most useless non wrestler ever!
Mysterio plays cat and mouse with JBL, running away and tiring the big Texan out. Which begs the question WHY DOES JBL EVEN BOTHER RUNNING AFTER HIM EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME?
Ok, JBL is officially retarded. He uses Jillian to avoid a crossbody from Rey, who lands on the apron and doesn’t do the move. Then, while Mysterio is still standing on the apron… JBL TURNS AROUND AND SLOWLY WALKS AWAY, allowing Mysterio to still JUMP OFF THE FUCKING APRON onto him.
He makes up for it by sending Mysterio into the steel steps, then absolutely DESTROYS him in the corner .
FALL AWAY SLAM OFF THE ROPES~!
FALL AWAY SLAM IN THE RING~!
FALL AWAY SLAM ON THE FLOOR~!
MYSTERIO STILL KICKS OUT~!
JBL locks in a bear hug and makes it awesome by CLUBBING Mysterio’s back every now and then . Then it turns into a “Rey keeps trying for a comeback” match and that’s always awesome.
Mysterio looks to have this won and CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL~!
Wasn’t really feeling this one tbh. Was ok, but didn’t really do it for me. Never thought much of their matches at all tbh.
CAL SCALE – 1
The Undertaker Vs Randy Orton & Bob Orton – Handicap Casket Match
How fucking AWESOME are the look-a-like mannequins that WWE use? Must be kinda creepy for the guys to open a casket and see themselves in it lol.
And the biggest pop of the night goes to Undertaker’s GONG!
Gotta love how it takes MULTIPLE punches to take down BOB Orton, but Randy bumps from one . Not a complaint, don’t get me wrong, just amusing . BOB ORTON fucking rules so he can take as many punches to the face as he fucking wants before he goes down. Might I also say he fucking bumps and sells from those punches better than most of the roster at the time.
This is just a fucking MASTERCLASS on how to bump and sell punches. Randy does it pretty great as it is, but his Dad is on a whole other level. He can do it in the “realistic” style (as realistic as wrestling gets, anyway), but he can also throw in some old school stooge bumps too, like being hit, looking out of it and falling face first into one of the turnbuckle pads .
at Orton getting thrown over the ropes and hanging on to them for his life because the casket was open. Always good to see guys really play up the fear of being put in the casket.
OLD SCHOOL ON OLD SCHOOL~! Orton saves his Dad!
Double superplex!!! Bob Orton hit a superplex with Randy off the ropes!!! Guy is still taking bumps off the rope at his age!
Double DDT!!! Bob even takes a bump off that better than his son! Bob Orton is still fucking tremendous. Gotta love it!
Undertaker is doing a great job of keeping on top of the match despite being against 2 men. He hits Bob then turns his attention to Randy, who is obviously the guy you wanna work over more. Bob is great at still being a game changer with things like low blows and shit.
CHAIR TO RANDY~! RANDY IS IN THE CASKET!
TRIANGLE CHOKE TO BOB ORTON~! BOB IS IN THE CASKET!
Orton manages to get out before the lid is closed, leaving poor old Bob alone in the dark, while Undertaker and Orton can battle it out!
UNDERTAKER HITS RANDY WITH A FUCKING LOW BLOW . That’s how much Undertaker fucking hates Randy!
Gotta love how Randy realises his Dad is out of the match for the time being, and really turns up the aggression. But his arrogance costs him when he poses to the fans while on the ropes doing a 10 punch, and of course you just KNOW what’s gonna happen! Last Ride… avoided! Randy dodged it, but still ends up taking it anyway!!!
Undertaker has this in hand, opens the casket to put Randy in… and Bob Orton uses a fire extinguisher to blind the Dead Man! He can’t see, and walks right into an RKO!!!
BOB ORTON IS ROLLING UNDERTAKER INTO THE CASKET! BOB ORTON IS GONNA BEAT THE UNDER… CHOKE! UNDERTAKER IS CHOKING BOB! FIRE EXTINGUISHER TO THE HEAD! UNDERTAKER IS IN THE CASKET! ORTON TRIES TO CLOSE THE LID AND… UNDERTAKER DRAGS HIM INSIDE!!!
The lid opens back up, and Undertaker takes a steel chair to the face! RANDY AND BOB WIN!!!
Then in a repeat of the 1998 Royal Rumble, they SET THE CASKET ON FIRE!!!
I swear this match gets better and better every time I watch it. It’s just beautiful. Bob is a tremendous worker even at his age. Orton is in his absolute PRIME, and Undertaker is better than he has been in years too. They work the handicap stip wonderfully, they use the casket and the fear the Orton’s have of it well, and everyone puts in one hell of a performance. I love it. Best. Casket Match. Ever.
CAL SCALE – 7
Juventud Guerrera Vs Nunzio – WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match
Undertaker just got set on fire in a casket, so let’s follow up with stereotypical Mexicans riding lawn mowers!!!
Oh man, Nunzio takes one hell of a boot to the face.
Cole and Tazz spend about 5 minutes talking about Juventud’s name. Then Tazz literally says that there is also a CW title match going on so they should probably get back to it .
Sweet finish, but that’s about all I cared for in this one. Dull. New champ.
CAL SCALE – 0
Batista Vs Eddie Guerrero – World Heavyweight Championship Match
Eddie spent the better part of the year trying to rip Rey and his family apart. Now he just wants to be Batista’s friend! An interesting angle, that unfortunately we never got the end of . Was Eddie REALLY a changed man? Or was he gonna turn on Batista in order to become WHC?
The fans chanting for him and Eddie smiling and playing up to the crowd is great to see . I’M YOUR PAPI shirt! I bought that when I went to Raw the week after he passed away . Still got it. Doesn’t fit me, but I still got it.
No HATE~! or anything here, just two “friends” going for the WHC. Eddie keeps trying to take Batista down to the mat, but the POWER of the champion keeps him on his feet.
A slow start to this one, with neither man going all out just yet, but the fans are still into everything they are doing which is great. They work a simple standing headlock spot for a while, with Eddie trying to escape, but Batista being too powerful and preventing the escape, forcing Eddie to try something else.
Eddie just can’t seem to get going, and for a second he contemplates using a steel chair, but thinks better of it. Batista gets angry at the fact he even went for a chair, but his ANGER almost costs him the WHC as Eddie drops him throat first across the rope and lands a Frog Splash to the back!!! He kicks out, but the damage has now been done!
They keep playing up on Eddie almost reverting back to the “old” Eddie. He takes off the tag rope and looks to use it to choke out Batista, but like the chair, he throws is down and decides against it.
Batista keeps using his strength to fight out of various submission holds, but his back is too hurt for him to follow up, allowing Guerrero to keep control of the match and move one step closer to winning the gold!
SMALL PACKAGE FROM BATISTA~!
Holy shit at that ref bump. IT LOOKED ORGANIC!
With the referee down, Eddie gets a HUGE grin on his face, and he brings in another steel chair!!! But he can’t do it! I don’t think it quite gets the reaction Eddie wanted from it though; the fans BOO him for not nailing Batista with the chair lol.
All that hesitation from Guerrero gave Batista an opportunity to recover, and THE ANIMAL IS UNLEASHED!
Batista Bomb attempt is countered into a Sunset flip attempt! Batista sells the back and almost falls backwards, but musters up enough strength for a Spinebuster, then collapses to the floor in pain! HE’S ACTUALLY SELLING THE BACK!!! Why couldn’t he have done that at the end of the Backlask match with HHH?
Frog Splash… no! Batista moves, and Eddie rolls through… then runs right into another Spinebuster! Batista retains!
Good match. Might have enjoyed it more this time around than I have in the past. It’s not great or a masterpiece for anything, and the stuff with the steel chair near the end feels like a poor man’s Piper/Bret from WM 8. Still, overall a good match with some nice storytelling, and Eddie really made sure Batista worked to his strengths in the match.
Eddie’s final PPV match ever . And he managed to get a good match out of Batista. Not bad .
CAL SCALE – 2
Overall CAL SCALE – 11