Day 1 of Wrestling View’s WrestleMania Week!!! Ok, more of a weekEND, but that doesn’t sound as catchy! With WM 31 just days away, I’ll be taking a look at the final card and going over my thoughts on the build up and how I feel about the match, as well as giving my predictions on the winner(s)!
Cesaro & Tyson Kidd Vs A New Day Vs Los Matadors Vs The Usos – WWE Tag Team Championship Match
So this is happening. And honestly it’s news to me! I rarely watch any show other than Raw… and I skipped through most of Raw in about 10 minutes. So matches like this tend to… pass me by. The only person involved in this match I remotely like is Cesaro, so watching any matches between any combination of these guys during the build up to WM hasn’t exactly been something I wanted to do. Hence me not even knowing this match was going to happen. While I haven’t personally seen any of the build up for this match, I HAVE still been on wrestling forums and twitter, and still haven’t heard about this match until today, which tells me that they haven’t done anything worth mentioning to hype this match up lol. I’m not hyped, apparently nobody else is, and that’s that.
Winners – Cesaro & Tyson Kidd – Main reason being that I dislike every other team in the match. Los Matadors are just horrible and shouldn’t be anywhere near the belts. A New Day are horrible and shouldn’t be anywhere near the belts. And finally The Usos are horrible and shouldn’t be anywhere near the belts… ESPECIALLY given the fact they’ve been near the damn belts for the better part of 2 years.
Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Due to apparent timing issues with the show, this match has now been bumped down to the WM pre-show. And it’s probably for the best because it’ll likely suck and does anyone REALLY care about it? Last year, for the first one, we got a big moment with Cesaro winning, joining Paul Heyman and… becoming a complete and total loser. Winning this match KILLED his momentum. And where is he a year later? In a tag match on the pre-show. So why should I care about the match THIS YEAR? Doesn’t matter who wins, WWE has already shown us that the winner is most likely gonna be buried. This isn’t like winning the Royal Rumble where we all know the guy is going to main event WM, or MITB where he’s likely to win the title… no, based on previous experience (all one of them lol), the winner is going nowhere. Making this match utterly pointless and honestly, a disgrace to Andre’s name. Doesn’t help that 90% of the people involved in the match are jobbers to begin win.
Winner – Sheamus – Yup, I’m picking a guy that isn’t even announced for the match. I’m predicting he returns FOR the match and wins. Also I looked at the list of participants and couldn’t for the life of me pick any of them!
Wade Barrett Vs Daniel Bryan Vs Stardust Vs Luke Harper Vs Dean Ambrose Vs R-Truth Vs Dolph Ziggler – WWE Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match
Can’t think of an interesting way to book an IC title match at WM? THROW EVERYONE IN A LADDER MATCH YEY!!! I hate ladder matches. I really, really fucking HATE ladder matches. I used to like them, years ago. There have been some awesome ones in the past. But now? Get them the fuck out. Aside from being overused to the point where every spot has been done a billion times, we now seem to be at a point where the guys want to INTENTIONALLY hurt themselves in order to make the match “good”. Harper/Ziggler last year was just fucking disgusting. They (mainly Dolph) took a bunch of unnecessary bumps that were genuinely painful and stiff. I don’t want guys to REALLY hurt themselves. This is fucking PRO-WRESTLING. Jim Cornette has said many times over the years that back in “the day” (80’s and before, let’s say), nobody was hurting each other but everyone thought it was real. Now? Everyone is hurting each other and nobody thinks its real. And it’s fucking stupid.
Ok, enough of that rant. The build up. The build up has revolved around everyone stealing the belt. And… that’s it. A WM match is happening because R-Truth has been sneaking around in the most unconvincing fashion ever and stealing the belt, while everyone else wants it too. This really doesn’t scream “WRESTLEMANIA” to me. At least the whole ladder match deal makes sense given the build up… but fuck me, the build up still shouldn’t have been about people stealing the fucking title. Also, why is R-Truth anywhere near this? Did they think they HAD to have a black man involved in a match to do with stealing? This is WWE we’re talking about. I wouldn’t doubt that line of thinking for a second. And why is Bryan here? I’m a huge Bryan fan, but shouldn’t he at least be in some high profile singles match? He SHOULD be in the main event, but that’s another rant in itself lol. Instead, a guy who is just back from NECK SURGERY is heading into a LADDER MATCH. Do they honestly hate him that much?
Winner – Daniel Bryan – Picking Bryan because he really needs to at least win this match. He’s probably the most over guy in the company right now and SHOULD be main eventing the show, but he isn’t, so the least they could do is give him the win here. Plus, with Lesnar resigning, there is a good chance he’ll retain the belt and WWE will try and elevate the IC and US titles as major belts while Brock isn’t around due to his contract. Let’s face it, Bryan is the only guy in this match that can carry the IC title for THAT reason. Ambrose as a second, but he still needs to get some momentum behind him before he can do that. Please give me a Bryan Vs Ambrose feud out of this.
Randy Orton Vs Seth Rollins
How. How? HOW?!?!?! How on earth did WWE screw this one up? Orton and Rollins were part of the Authority together. Orton becomes increasingly frustrated with them and ends up getting taken out at the hands of Rollins. He’s gone for 4 months. He returns and… rejoins the Authority. Pretending, of course. But come on. Everyone knew he was pretending. EVERYONE. Except for the Authority, who apparently are completely retarded. And what we ended up with was a couple of weeks of Orton pretending to be friends with them before turning on Rollins. It was horrible. I know WWE creative and Vince McMahon are incredibly stupid when it comes to booking, but come on. A 3 year old could have booked this.
Winner – Seth Rollins – Orton doesn’t need the win. Rollins does. He’s Mr MITB, and I’m SICK of them treating MITB winners like jobbers up until the point they cash in and become champion. It makes them look like a shitty champion if they’ve just been losing for months straight. Have some interference or whatever, it doesn’t need to be a clean win, but please let Rollins win. I hope Orton shows up motivated, because this COULD end up being a good match. But Orton and Motivated aren’t two things that go together often these days…
Rusev Vs John Cena – WWE United States Championship Match
WWE meets Rocky IV. Except Cena won’t win over the hostile crowd at the end. Or do that “everyone can change” speech because we know he hasn’t changed in 10 years! Anyway. Back at Fastlane, Cena lost. And his reaction? To brutally attack Rusev and force Lana to accept a rematch on Rusev’s behalf or Cena would murder him or something. Because Cena is a NICE GUY. Their match at Fastlane sucked. I expect nothing more for their WM match.
Winner – John Cena – Of course Cena is winning. He’s going to be the American Hero, overcoming the evil undefeated Russian and bringing the US title back home. Because WWE, at their biggest event of the year, where fans from AROUND THE WORLD pay a lot of money to go see, just love for an American to overcome the odds against those nasty non-Americans!!!
AJ Lee & Paige Vs The Bellas
Divas title on the line at WM? NAH! TAG MATCH~! #givedivasachancelol
Winners – AJ Lee & Paige – I guess they should win so they can both have a claim over a divas title shot or something.
Sting Vs Triple H
The match nobody wanted, but dammit they’re giving it to us anyway! Sting has come to the WWE… because stuff. He’s targeted HHH because… stuff. There isn’t anything about this I like. The build has been shit. The reasoning has been shit. And the match is likely to be shit as well. Why? Well HHH isn’t THAT DAMN GOOD like he claims to be, and Sting hasn’t been good since 1996. Almost 20 years ago. STING HASN’T BEEN GOOD IN 20 YEARS. Think about that for a second. Out of all the so called “dream matches” between Sting and someone in WWE, would anyone beyond a massive HHH mark honestly have this match on their list? At the very least it would be outside the top 10, surly? I’m not one of those people who thinks we should have gotten Sting Vs Undertaker, because I don’t want to see that match either… but HHH? Talk about random as shit. WWE probably want this to be the next Rock/Hogan from WM 18. Instead it’ll be the next Rock/Cena from WM 28 and 29.
Winner – Sting – It’s his first match in WWE. He is probably going to win.
The Undertaker Vs Bray Wyatt
Hello the one match at WM this year I’m even remotely interested in! And only because Undertaker is involved. Honestly not that excited for the match, but it has the Dead Man so it still at the very least interests me. You know, as I actually sit here and think back on the build up, it’s probably been one of the best built matches on the show, tied with the main event (which I’ll get to next obviously, so I’ll explain then lol). Sure, Undertaker hasn’t appeared, but this sure as hell isn’t his first feud where he hasn’t made a single appearance until the match, and it’s not even his first WRESTLEMANIA feud where that’s happened. Bray has done (mostly) a good job of carrying the feud with his promos, explaining how he’s the new face of fear and is going to make Undertaker Rest in Peace for good, something that he believes should have happened last year after the Streak was ended. The rocking chair appearing in the ring and getting set on fire was a cool segment too. And not having Undertaker show up until WM just builds intrigue as to what he’ll look like, something that seems to be a major selling point for WM these days lol. Every single year, fans speculate on how good or bad he’s going to look, and this year has been no different. So for me, between it simply being an Undertaker match, and having a decent build, I too am very interested in seeing just how Undertaker looks. His entrance is probably going to be better than most of the show. Kinda sad in a way.
Winner – The Undertaker – Sorry, but Bray just isn’t the right guy to end The Undertaker, or be the second guy to beat him at WM. Undertaker needs to redeem himself after the loss last year.
Brock Lesnar Vs Roman Reigns – WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match
I just said that this is probably tied for best built match at WM this year. People are thinking I’m crazy right about now, I’m sure of it. But let me explain. In two words. PAUL HEYMAN. The guy is a fucking GOD on the microphone. He is amazing. His promos have been stellar every single time, and even his recent video for Heyman Hustle was fantastic. He is the last of a dying breed who can TALK people into the arena. I’ve said for many, many years that Mick Foley is the best promo guy in wrestling. Today I change that opinion. Today I declare PAUL HEYMAN as the single greatest promo man to ever grace the wrestling business. BELIEVE THAT! Oh, Reigns and Lesnar have been involved in this build up too I think. Lesnar has stood around once or twice, and Reigns has attempted a couple of promos. Whatever. PAUL HEYMAN. I just can’t believe that on the go home Raw show, they ended with Lesnar and Reigns doing this:
Winner – Brock Lesnar – Kinda wish I hadn’t heard about Lesnar resigning with WWE until AFTER WrestleMania, because it probably would have been an awesome moment when Lesnar retained despite me thinking he was leaving the company. Ah well. I guess now I have something to look forward to :). Lesnar is absolutely going to retain now imo, giving Reigns more time to finally be in a position where he is ready to become champion and lead the company.
WM 31 on paper doesn’t really interest me much at all. The build has been mostly awful. It saddens me when WWE can’t even get WM right. It’s the one time of the year they normally TRY to care, yet for some reason in the last couple of years they’ve even given up on that. Oh well. Here on Wrestling View, the #WVWMWeek continues with the Hall of Fame tomorrow, so don’t miss that!