Didn’t have to take the wrapping off this one! I took it off a few months ago with the intention of watching it and… never did .
I did go through the bonus disc that my version came with. Just filled with a bunch of 2006 DX stuff so… not great .
“RIC FLAIR IS MY GREAT GRANDPA! and “TNA” signs spotted immediately lol.
Randy Orton Vs Kurt Angle
Raw Vs ECW match? Cena Vs Sabu? And the title match is Edge Vs RVD? The fuck is this, ECW One Night Stand 3?
Let’s hope this one is better than their ECW ONS match anyway. That one had some good parts to it, but suffered from too many flaws to actually be good.
Still hate that damn ECW remix of Angle’s theme.
Man, crazy cover attempt by Angle using a hammer lock! That was pretty sweeeeet.
Orton keeps running to the ropes like a PUSSY, so Angle tryes to penetrate him from behind as punishment. Either that or he was trying for a German Suplex off the apon .
The apron German failed, but a German on the floor lands and Orton is DEAD.
Angle is circling Orton trying to hit a double leg or something, and Orton thumbs him right in the eye and hits a dropkick! Even the fans have to cheer that one lol.
HEADLOCK~! Angle says fuck that and lifts Orton off the ground and hits a modified Samoan Drop! Take THAT, headlocks!
“CARLITO SPITS, MELINA SWALLOWS” sign . Wouldn’t surprise me if they both swallowed .
HEADLOCK~! This time Orton has it locked in and not even Angle can escape it with ease. Looks real good too. Orton really makes it look like he’s trying to pop his opponents head with it.
a botched belly to belly off the ropes.
MULTIPLE GERMANS~! 8 of them. Pfft. I guess that makes Lensar twice as good as Angle .
Strange modified Angle Slam thingy… JR just calls it a suplex. Fuck knows exactly what he was trying to do .
at the way they set up Angle going head first into the exposed turnbuckle .
Well… this was a little better than their ONS match. Still had problems, the main one being that they didn’t “click” for me. These two just don’t have great chemistry.
CAL SCALE – 1
Vince is being a creepy bastard to a make a wish kid, thinking it’s a setup from DX . He pushes the kid out of his room, and we just hear him scream and crash into something . Turns out he’s a family friend of THE COACH who was invited to meet his hero, Mr McMahon .
Umaga Vs Eugene
I knew JR was wrong! I said during my Unforgiven ramble that JR said that was Umaga’s first PPV match. LIES JR. FUCKING LIES.
Eugene has brought some friends with him. And they aren’t even imaginary!!! Though one of them is as retarded as Eugene… HOOOOOOOOOO! JIM DUGGAN! Doink the Clown is back! I miss Matt Bourne Heel Doink . KAMALA!
Well, how can Eugene possibly lose these match? He has 3 old men in his corner!
This lasts about 2 minutes, and Eugene is squashed . Then Umaga squashes the old men, except for Kamala, because Estrada tells Umaga he’s crazy and they should avoid him lol.
CAL SCALE – 0
Ric Flair Vs Mick Foley – 2 out of 3 Falls Match
*sigh* I guess I’ll sit through this one. It does have 2 legends.
So so so so so disappointed with this when I first saw it. Sure they made up for it at SummerSlam, but damn, this sucked. Doubt much will change on this watch, but I’d just feel wrong NO’ing a match between these two.
Foley said he’s gonna out-wrestle Flair tonight, but so far he ain’t doing so well .
If wrestling don’t work, then a punch to the fucking FACE will .
a Ric Flair version of Socko .
Flair successfully flies off the ropes… and hurts his knee! Lawler says he would have been better off getting bodyslammed .
FOLEY TARGETING THE LEG COS HE’S A RASSLER~!
Flair counters a Figure Four attempt with a cradle and the first fall goes to Flair!
Flair starts to beat the shit out of Foley, who gets angry and brings a trash can into the ring! Flair counters with a Figure Four, and Foley escapes with a shot to Flair using the trash can! Foley gets DQ’d, and loses 2 straight falls!
Ya know, this wasn’t as awful as I remembered it being. Sure, it was still disappointing, but they had a pretty fun match and this was only really a set up to their I Quit match at SummerSlam, so being able to look back on it that way does make it seem better.
CAL SCALE – 1
Maria’s tits are interviewing Carlito. Then Torrie Wilson and her tits show up and Maria rubs oil on her for a photoshoot. Then for some reason Torrie rubs oil on Maria’s ass even though she isn’t doing a photoshoot. Carlito’s music hits and he needs to head out to the ring instead of watching some HLA .
Carlito Vs Shelton Benjamin Vs Johnny Nitro – WWE Intercontinental Championship Match
MELINA LOOKING FAP!
heel Shelton. An open shirt and sunglasses. THAT WAS HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER .
Typical triple threat stuff for the most part.
Nitro sends Carlito head first into the ring post, then shouts “Now THAT’S cool!”.
Flippy flippy flippy flippy.
Say what you want, but these microwave cheesburgers, or BUUUUURGUUURS as they are know to me and my friend (private joke. so fuck you all! ), are bloody lovely. Sure a REAL burger would be better, but when it’s 2 for 89p and they are ready in a minute and a half, you really can’t complain.
Ooops, best get back to talking about the match. Seems I missed some more flippy flippy flippy flippy.
HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THAT? MORE FLIPPY FLIPPY FLIPPY FLIPPY~!
Melina is the only good thing in this match. Smoking hot and always bending over to show her tits, screaming, and helping out Nitro any chance she gets.
After doing a quick google search, I was able to find some footage of these 3 men backstage discussing what they plan to do in the match!
“Hey guys, I have an idea tonight for the match. LET’S DO LOTS OF RANDOM MOVES AND FLIPS!!!”
“OH WOW THAT’S GREAT LET’S DO THAT!!!”
Fuck me how long is this match? It seems to be going on forever.
FINALLY. Nitro wins the IC title and the match is OVER.
CAL SCALE – 0
VINCE MCMAHON TRIES A PENIS PUMP~! IT EXPLODES GREEN PAINT ON HIM INSTEAD~!
RVD Vs Edge – WWE Championship Match
this isn’t even the main event .
GOD DAMN. LITA. FAP FAP FAP.
Edge says he and LITA are gonna have another LIVE SEX CELEBRATION if he wins the title here tonight. Well, I guess I’m rooting for Edge tonight!!!
Fuck me, this is starting off like the triple threat. FLIPPY FLIPPY FLIPPY FLIPPY. And not just RVD either. Even Edge took to the ropes.
SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB OFF THE APRON TO THE FLOOR~!
RVD totally deserved that. HE KICKED LITA IN THE CHEST. Lawler thinks she might have a chest injury. For someone like Lita that could be life threatening!!!
RVD does that jumping spinning leg drop thing from the apron to the barricade… and Edge moves, leaving RVD to land HARD on his leg!!! Then Edge throws him out of the ring about 30 seconds later and his leg gets caught in the ropes and he just crumbles to the floor .
POWERBOMB ONTO THE BARRICADE. FUCK ME.
The powerbomb to RVD’s back allows Edge to continue to capitalise on the sunset flip powerbomb from earlier, so nice that Edge is sticking with his original plan, even after RVD’s leg got fucked up.
Shame Edge’s back work lasts about a minute before RVD is flippy flippy flippy flippy again. Fucks sake.
Ref bump. Edge tries to cheat. Gets the title belt kicked in his face. Lita crushes RVD’s balls, and Edge follows up with an awesome DDT. BUT OH NOES THE REFEREE IS DEAD.
Edge spears a chair.
Five Star Frog Splash aka FLIPPY FLIPPY FLIPPY FLIPPY FINISHER and RVD retains.
Well this was… kinda shite. A fuck load of nothing happens, then just as things start to look up with Edge working the back, RVD makes a comeback almost straight away and fails to sell his back, his leg, or anything really. BULL. SHIT.
CAL SCALE – 0
Kane Vs Imposter Kane
oh god I totally forgot this was on the show . What an AWFUL storyline that was dropped harder than Bart Gunn at WrestleMania XV.
Festus is actually a pretty good fake Kane, in terms of acting like Kane. They should have gotten Kevin Nash to play the imposter Kane .
The crowd are as dead for this match as they were for Undertaker Vs Underfaker at SummerSlam in 94 .
Damn, was just reading that Kane was supposed to win the WHC on May 19th, but due to his commitments with the See No Evil movie, he actually requested that the plans would be changed! So instead of Kane being WHC, we got this angle .
What the FUCK was that? Kane tried to kinda superplex the imposter Kane, but it was more of a superplex combined with a back body drop lol. Looked fucking great tbh, but definitely seemed botched .
IMPOSTER KANE CATCHES KANE OFF THE ROPES~! CHOKESLAM~! IMPOSTER KANE JUST WON!!!
Honestly, this isn’t as bad as I remembered. They have a pretty good big man brawl. Crowd couldn’t have cared less, but meh, fuck them. Nothing special, but I don’t regret watching it.
CAL SCALE – 0.5
John Cena Vs Sabu – Extreme Lumberjack Match
Stuff happens. Yawn.
Cena is in control, then notices the Lumberjacks and fighting and… fucks off to the outside to join them instead of TRYING TO WIN THE MATCH. Fucking retard. Sabu throws a chair in his face to knock some sense into him.
Cena is set up on a table, but BIG VIS throws all the ECW guys away giving Cena chance to move and deck Sabu with a singapore cane.
F-U over the ropes to the table, but Sabu only cracks part of the table and possibly injured his back. STFU and Sabu taps out.
My god this was a giant load of fuck all. I’ve seen better TNA matches in 2014 than this shite. Wait… not sure about that. Anyway, the point it, this sucks.
CAL SCALE – 0
DX Vs The Spirit Squad
what a PPV main event!!! 2 old men pretending to be 20 and a group of male cheerleaders!
MITCH IS BEATING UP SHAWN MICHAELS!!! Who the fuck was Mitch again?
Johnny gets his nose buster open, and puts on a headband and stars acting like he’s a martial arts expert. Shawn is terrified so he tags HHH in… WHO PUNCHES HIM IN THE NOSE .
poor Johnny. Punched in his busted nose. Balls smashed into the ring post, and his legs wrapped around the post too, causing him to be all wobbly legged .
it takes THREE Spirit Squad dudes to throw HHH into the ring steps.
CHAIR TO HBK’S FACE~!
TRAMPOLINE AIDED BULLDOG~!
HHH threw the trampoline at the Spirit Squad .
In the end, DX win.
This wasn’t bad or anything, but I kinda zoned out during the HBK FIP segment. Some funny moments spread throughout the match, but nothing that really kept me entertained throughout the whole thing.
CAL SCALE – 0.5
Overall CAL SCALE – 3