No Mercy 2006 PPV Ramblings

Posted on: April 26th, 2015 by Big Cal

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No Mercy 2006

 

The holy grail of PPV in 2006!

 

Gregory Helms Vs Matt Hardy

What a way to kick off the show!!! :mark:

Helms ruled 06 as CW champion… though it was odd that he faced Matt hardy on PPV twice, since Matt was too FAT to be a CW, so helms didn’t defend the belt on either occasion. Still, the CW champion was getting PPV matches and was looking great every time. Plus, with the brand split, they had plenty of time to have TV feuds over the title as well to help gain/retain viewers.

As well as a previous PPV match, over the last month on SD they’ve each had a victory over each other, both using a low blow behind the referee’s back! So now it’s the “rubber match” in this low blow series :p.

Slow start as they feel each other out, always playing up on their history of growing up in the business together and knowing each other so well and never being able to get the better of the other without resorting to something big.

Back and forth action, featuring one hell of a fucking kick to Hardy’s gut from Helms! Surprised he didn’t get a hump on his back from that!

Love how Helms works over his opponents neck. He has about a billion variations of the neck breaker and they all look sweet.

:mark: Helms using one of my favourite moves from the SD Vs Raw 2006 game, where you hook your opponents arms behind their back while on the mat, then knee the fuck out of their face :mark:.

CODE BREAKER~!

HARDY KICKS OUT~!

:mark: pretty epic PUNCH EXCHANGE from these two. Hardy throws one heck of a right hand.

Helms fucking DESTROYS Matt with 3 crazy reverse DDT/Neckbreaker types moves, but wastes far too much time playing to the crowd and climbing the ropes to show off, allowing Matt to recover enough to make a comeback!

THREE SIDE EFFECTS FROM MATT~! Nice revenge spot :).

Matt also decides to go to the ropes, but is quick about it and hits a Moonsault…NO! Helms got the knees up!

SHINING WIZARD~!

KICK OUT~!

HOLY SHIT~! Helms dropped Matt balls first onto the ropes (nice call back to how this match came about), then took to the ropes and hit a Shining Wizard to Matt while he was still straddling the ropes!!!

HARDY GOT HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES~!

LOW BLOW COUNTERED INTO A TWIST OF FATE OUT OF NOWHERE~!

HELMS LOSES ON PPV FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2006!

One hell of a fucking match!!! And this is just the OPENING MATCH!!!

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Booker T and Sharmell backstage talking about the 4 way for the title tonight. REGAL shows up offering his services. Booker T tells Regal to find Finlay and convince him to help Booker tonight.

 

Bryan Kendrick & Paul London Vs KC James & Idol Steves – WWE Tag Team Championship Match

Michelle McCool as the hot, sexy, naught teacher :mark:. FAP.

That Idol Stevens looks familiar :side: :p.

Remember when Ashley was randomly put with Londrick? And then like, nothing came of it? Good times, good times… :p. I *think* they planned on doing something with them both falling in love with her but she only liked one of them, causing them to break up or some shit. Kinda glad it just got dropped.

:lmao Idol Sandow nearly falls over from kneeing London in the gut.

:lmao the more you see of Damien Stevens the more you realise why he disappeared by to development for another 6 years or whatever it was :p. I’m surprised he can walk, because he’s constantly falling over himself and screwing up :lmao.

Sweet Jebus, London took one hell of a bump off the ropes to the floor.

Epic struggle from London trying to make a tag, with Damien Stedow desperately trying to drag him back to his corner :mark:. Love that shit in tag matches, makes the hot tag that much sweeter when it happens.

So aside from Idol Sandens being clumsy and somewhat shitty, he and James are a pretty solid team, working well together and putting together a nice control segment too.

McCool on the outside is always trying to help her team, putting foots on ropes, moving people out of the way etc, while Ashley just… stands around. She’s as useless at being a manager as she is a wrestler :lmao.

MICHELLE’S TITS NEARLY POP OUT :mark:.

The superior team work once again proves to be the deciding factor for Londrick, as they retain their tag belts!

Really good match, but I can’t help but think it could have been EVEN BETTER had Londrick had more established opponents. Still, impressive all things considering!

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

REGAL :mark:. He’s looking for Finlay. He spots Vito (in a dress and heels) skipping. Regal decides to show him how it’s done, but gets put off when Vito lifts his dress up to wipe sweat off his face. Then Regal walks into… some bowls of sauce that some guy is walking around with :p. :lmao Vince trying to swim in beer in 1998 ain’t got nothing on Regal trying to stand up in the sauce :p.

 

Teddy Long comes out to the ring for a birthday celebration. The birthday boy? The Jiz. Urgh. Skipped everything here except for Layla. FAP.

 

MVP Vs Marty Garner

SQUASH~!

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

REGAL PENIS~! NAKED REGAL~! He runs into Teddy Long while naked in the hallway, so Teddy puts Regal in a match tonight, against a mystery opponent!!!

 

The Undertaker Vs Mr Kennedy

:mark: UNDERTAKER~!

Kennedy was actually great during this time. Loved that sit down interview he did leading up to this match too. They show bits of it in the video package, and it’s well worth watching in full. Shame Kennedy went downhill rapidly in 2007, and has been a useless hack ever since. He seemed to have so much potential at the time.

Gotta love how Michael Cole manages to even make UNDERTAKER sound like some common nobody. HE ROUGHS PEOPLE UP~! :lmao

Undertaker catches Kennedy with a boot to the face and his boot seemingly sticks to Kennedy’s face all the way down to the mat as Kennedy takes the bump :lmao.

:mark: Love Undertaker’s early arm work in this one. Kennedy sells it really well, and Undertaker makes it look vicious as fuck. Kennedy counters Old School with an arm drag off the ropes, but one kick from Undertaker to the shoulder he’d been working on and Kennedy is back taking punishment!

EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE~!

Sign in the crowd saying “Let Eddie RIP”. AKA STOP USING EDDIE IN STORYLINES YOU FUCKS.

Kennedy does what made me such a fan of him during this time; constantly creating openings for himself. He knocks Undertaker off the apron into the barricade. Knocks him off the ropes. Throws him to the outside, then catches him with a DDT as he comes back into the ring. Undertaker is still mostly dominant, because you know, he’s the fucking UNDERTAKER, but this young upshot Mr Kennedy is taking advantage of every opportunity he can, and it makes for one hell of a match.

Holy Jebus, I think Kennedy just got back at Undertaker for that boot earlier. Does that running boot in the corner that people probably associate Samoa Joe with, and damn, it looks like he connects full on with ‘Takers face!

Undertaker again fights back and…

PILEDRIVER TO THE UNDERTAKER~! :mark:

And of course Cole calls it a Tombstone because he’s a fucking idiot.

I wish more people were able to do a Piledriver in WWE. It’s an awesome move. And seriously, how many people have ACTUALLY been injured from a NORMAL PILEDRIVER? In WWE? Only guy I can think of in WWE that got injured from a Piledriver was Austin, and that was a modified one that was a mix between a normal piledriver and a tombstone. More people have been injured from clotheslines in the last couple of years than a piledriver in the last 3 decades…

:mark: Kennedy doing everything he can to avoid a Chokeslam, including using the referee! Fuck me, he even busts out some crazy flippy kick I’d expect to see from RVD! Undertaker avoids it and lands a Chokeslam finally!!!

LAST RIDE~! NO! Kennedy again fights out, and that exposed turnbuckle from earlier finally comes into play!!!

KENTON BOMB~!

UNDERTAKER KICKS OUT!!! :mark:

UNDERTAKER SITS UP!!!! KENNEDY RUNS AWAY!!!

Kennedy brings in the US title belt, gets punched in the face, then ‘Taker picks up the belt and smashes it into Kennedy’s face!

MR KENNEDY JUST BEAT THE UNDERTAKER BY DQ!!!

Undertaker is pissed, and takes out all his frustrations on Mr Kennedy, and then takes out the referee too!

This still fucking rules, and I genuinely don’t understand why most people don’t think highly of it lol. Oh well :p.

Rating: ****1/4
CAL SCALE – 6

 

Rey Mysterio Vs Chavo Guerrero – Falls Count Anywhere

Fine, I’ll give this one a chance. Maybe it being FCA will help.

:lmao I forgot they even used Dominick during the build up to this one :lmao. What is it with WWE and using Rey’s family? :p

Flashbacks to their SS match early on as they repeat spots.

:lmao Chavo points at the “EG” arm band Rey wears and says “this isn’t your Uncle, this isn’t you blood”, then punches it :lmao. I think I finally found the highlight of Chavo’s career!!!

GORY SPECIAL ON THE GUARD RAIL~! And neither commentator acknowledges it…

Aaaand they spend 90% of this match fighting in a space between a row of seats and a guard rail. Big Show probably couldn’t fit in the damn space they were in.

Rey botches the pin at the end.

So this sucked.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

William Regal Vs Chris Benoit

CHRIS BENOIT IS BACK!!! :mark:

:mark: REGAL BLOCKED A CHOP :mark:.

This is just typical Benoit/Regal goodness :mark:. Neither man wants to let their opponent breath, so they are both always trying to apply a hold. Gnarly and gritty are two perfect works to describe any matches between these two (and when Finlay is involved too).

THE FIRST CHOP OF THE MATCH :mark:. Gets a huge pop and makes one hell of an impact because of Regal blocking the last attempt.

HEADBUTTS~!

GERMAN SUPLEX~!

DIVING HEADBUTT~!

BOTH MEN ARE BLEEDING FROM THE HEADBUTTS~!

:mark:

APRON DDT~! One of my favourite moves. Love that it was finally added into WWE games. Shame it couldn’t have been added years ago when the games were good :(.

KNEE TREMBLER~!

BENOIT KICKS OUT~!

FOREARM INTO THE FACE WHILE MAKING A COVER~!

REGAL IS AWESOME~! :mark:

CHOP TO THE CUT ON REGAL’S HEAD~! AND AGAIN~! BENOIT IS AWESOME~! :mark:

I just can’t say enough good shit about how awesome these guys are. Everything is a fight, everything is earned, and everything looks fantastic. Regal fighting to avoid the Crossface at the end is a terrific battle, but once Benoit has it locked in, Regal knows it’s OVER and taps out straight away. Love it.

Rating: ****1/4
CAL SCALE – 6

 

Booker T confronts Regal when he comes back from the match, and wants to know if he talked to Finlay :lmao. Finlay shows up and tells Booker he’s here tonight to take the WHC!!!

 

Booker T slaps Regal! REGAL FUCKING DECKS THE WHC!!! :mark: MVP might have made his debut on this PPV, but Regal is the REAL MVP tonight!!!

 

Booker T Vs Finlay Vs Bobby Lashley Vs Batista – World Heavyweight Championship Match

Originally supposed to be Booker Vs Lashley, but I guess they thought Lashley wasn’t good enough to main event a PPV on his own yet, so they put in Batista… and then Finlay so SOMEONE in the match knew what they were doing :p.

GOAT Finlay slides out of the ring and sits down on the outside, leaving Booker to deal with Lashley and Batista :lmao. Then when he feels like it, he gets in the ring, attacks Lashley from behind and takes down Batista!

Despite the fact Finlay said he’s here to win the title, he convinces Booker that he wants to team up with him against Lashley and Batista.

Booker and Finlay beat the shit out of Batista and Lashley, and Finlay finally decides to turn on Booker, who is definitely the weakest link in this match!!! :lmao JBL calls Finlay a Bastard :lmao.

Booker only has himself to blame. FINLAY TOLD HIM RIGHT BEFORE THE MATCH THAT HE WAS GONNA TAKE HIS TITLE FFS. It’s his own damn fault for trusting him. Moron.

And just think, there WERE plans for a Finlay heel title run in 06, but Stephanie was a retarded bitch and said no :(. Yeah because Booker fucking T was such a great choice… urgh.

:mark: Finlay has an arm lock on Batista, but the POWER of the Animal allows him to stand up and hit a Samoan Drop… but Finlay doesn’t let go of the arm!!! Lashley runs in to get him some and Finlay throws Batista aside and takes down Lashley!!! Finlay is fucking OWNING EVERYONE :mark:.

Booker nails Batista with a huge kick, and Cole screams “THERE’S THE FLEXIBILITY, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT”. When? WHEN THE FUCK WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT BOOKER T BEING FLEXIBLE?

“THIS LASHLEY IS A MAN!” Cole is just churning out the shit tonight lol.

LOW BLOW TO LASHLEY BY LITTLE BASTARD~!

SHILLELAGH TO THE FUCKING FACE OF LASHLEY~!

And Shitty T breaks up the pin and we don’t get a Finlay WHC run :(.

JACKHAMMER BY BATISTA~!

BATISTA AND LASHLEY STAREDOWN~!

SPEAR BY BATISTA~! LASHLEY KICKS OUT~! I JUST GOT A BIT OF TISSUE IN MY MOUTH WHILE TRYING TO BLOW MY NOSE~!

:lmao the sweat dripping off of Batista and Lashley combined could fill an ocean.

BATISTA IS BLEEDING~! Not sure what’s coming out of Batista more; the blood or the sweat :p.

Lashley and Batista basically beat each other senseless, allowing Finlay and Booker T to come in and pick the bones.

BOOKEND~! LASHLEY KICKS OUT~!

Batista with SPINEBUSTERS for everyone! What a generous guy :).

BATISTA BOMB TO FINLAY~!

SPEAR TO BATISTA~!

BOOKER T COVERS FINLAY AND STEALS THE WIN~!

Aside from the shitty winner, this is a pretty awesome four way. Certainly one of the best in WWE history. A ton of fun, and man oh man, Finlay is such a damn WORKHORSE, keeping the match together and making it awesome.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 22

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