Backlash 2006 PPV Ramblings

Posted on: May 3rd, 2015 by Big Cal

Capture_zpsbacc4e68

 

Backlash 2006

 

The last Raw only PPV for me to watch in 2006, and from memory, this is actually a good one!

 

Lol, right behind the Spanish Announcers, there is a group of 4 slutty looking women all drinking beer. Wonder how rowdy they get towards the end of the night!!! :p

 

Chris Masters Vs Carlito

Were WWE selling apples at events to try and make some money from Carlito now that he was a babyface? :p They sure as fuck try to sell everything else as merch!

Masters is impressive early on, punching Carlito in the face (which is ALWAYS cool), and launching him into the air for a huge back body drop.

Carlito puts on a Masterlock on Masters, who just breaks free with ease and looks at Carlito like he’s a fucking retard :lmao.

POWERBOMB INTO THE TURNBUCKLE~!

“POOP DOGG” sign :lmao.

REST HOLD~!

Carlito makes a comeback, nothing worth talking about though other than he does continue to sell his neck that was injured after the powerbomb, so that’s something.

MISSED MOONSAULT~! But Masters has to act like it hit anyway, poor guy :p.

Carlito cheats to win. Some babyface…

Nothing worth seeing here tbh.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Maria and her TITS talking about the triple threat tonight. FAP.

 

LITA SHOWS UP TOO. FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

 

Umaga Vs Ric Flair

Oh look, ANOTHER Umaga PPV match before Cyber Sunday. That’s 2. JR WAS WRONG. DOUBLE WRONG. BAH GAWD.

Umaga is just too big and powerful for Flair to do anything against, so he has to resort to being the DIRTIEST PLAYER IN THE GAME~! Thumb to the eye and 2 low blows… but even THAT isn’t enough to stop the SAMOAN BULLDOZER YOUMANGA!

Umaga knows only one direction, and it’s forward. Flair can use this to his advantage by moving out of the way from time to time, avoiding certain hits and even sending Umaga head first into the ring post!

Not the smarted move though, because Umaga IS Samoan after all, and his head is thicker than the average TNA fan 8*D.

SAMOAN SPIKE~! This is over.

Fun squash.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

:lmao Vince backstage mocking religion. Awesome :lmao. Bread and fish flying everywhere :lmao. SHANE’S WATER TURNED INTO WINE!!!

 

Mickie James Vs Trish Stratus – WWE Women’s Championship Match

:lmao just look at the match image for this one:

Capture_zps493f936c

Their match at NYR was great. Their match at WM was great. Their match here… disappointing :(.

Matrix into a headscissors :mark:. That was fucking awesome!!!

THEZ PRESS OFF THE APRON~!

Trish is taking the fight to Mickie, because she needs her title back!

Trish gets dumped off the ropes to the floor, and OUCH, she puts her arm on the apron to break her fall and it bends BACKWARDS. And this is unfortunately why the match is disappointing. Trish is legit injured :(.

Mickie gets herself DQ’d and this one is done. Such a shame poor Trish got hurt :(. This could have been another great match. Everything up to the injury was really damn good though!

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

Maria and her TITS interviewing HBK.

 

Shelton Benjamin Vs RVD – Money in the Bank & WWE Intercontinental Championship Match

The winner of this gets the IC belt AND the MITB Briefcase!!!

With they’d defend the briefcase more these days. When was the last time it was done? Cena/Ziggler TLC 2012? Hopefully by the time this makes it onto Wrestling View, we’ll have had Rollins Vs Ambrose with the briefcase on the line :mark:.

No Shelton’s MOMMA cos she had a heart attack or something to get her off TV :(. Could you imagine if Shelton won the MITB briefcase here and won the WWE title with his MOMMA in his corner? :mark:

These guys are going all out from the get go, flipping around and hitting some impressive moves. SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB ON THE FLOOR~!

Shelton is nice and aggressive now he has RVD on the ropes after the powerbomb. Using submissions that focus on the back, then the moment RVD looks to try and escape, Shelton lets go and just pounds the fuck out of RVD to soften him up for yet another submission.

ROLLING THUNDER INTO A SAMOAN DROP~! Yeah, that ruled.

KICK TO THE FACE~!

So RVD is making his comeback and… hits a rolling thunder. After he’d has his BACK worked over the entire match. FFS RVD.

Frog Splash misses, and RVD gets fucking murdered with a DDT :mark:.

RVD’s kick to Shelton’s face earlier was sweeeet… and Shelton returns the favour with an even better kick to the face!!!

Another babyface cheats to win, as RVD kicks the Briefcase into Shelton’s face to set up the Frog Splash.

Fun match, shame about RVD’s inability to sell.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Kane Vs The Big Show

Oh, the May 19th storyline :lmao.

:lmao Lawler talks about how it’s an unwritten rule in wrestling that you never try to cause anyone loss of their sight. DID YOU FORGET ABOUT TERRY FUNK?!?! :p

Was hoping for a clash of giants here but… instead we get more of a wrestling match. Not quite the wrestling match they had on Raw around this time that was FUN AS FUCK lol, but more of a “work the arm” type wrestling match which is not as fun :p. I WANT TO SEE THEM HIT EACH OTHER IN THE FACT DAMMIT.

BIG SHOW TRIES TO ATTACK KANE’S EYE~!

ROH sign in the crowd.

Lol, red light and Kane’s own voice plays, talking about May 19th :lmao. This is some serious shit :lmao.

Kane loses it and starts smashing himself in the face, so Big Show smacks him over the head with a chair to… calm him down? :lmao

:lmao this is trash.

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Candice Michelle backstage with Vince and she’s having an orgasm from him touching her :lmao. God McMahon was awesome.

 

Shawn Michaels & God Vs Vince & Shane McMahon – No Holds Barred Match

:lmao Vince booked GOD in a tag match :lmao.

MCMAHONISM~!

:lmao at the bit in the church where Vince tells God to strike him down if he’s wrong… and Shane slowly backs away from him :lmao. I miss Shane.

:lmao at Lillian Garcia trying to no laugh at God’s entrance :lmao.

:lmao Vince cutting a promo on God :lmao.

:lmao God’s theme music is a version of The Cat/Brodus Clay’s music :lmao.

:lmao Vince tells the referee to check God to make sure he doesn’t have any weapons :lmao.

Vince makes the match No Holds Barred!!!

:lmao at HBK’s music interrupting Vince, and Shane just starts dancing to the music :lmao.

This is already like, the greatest thing ever :lmao.

Vince is gonna send Shawn and God straight to HELL!!! So Shawn slaps the shit out of Vince :lmao.

Shane looking to piledrive Shawn off the stage :mark:. Bah, Shawn counters :(.

Poor Shane. He has no luck with his head and stage pieces. Shawn just smashed his face into a metal part of the Backlash set :p. At least it wasn’t glass! :p

HBK crossbodies himself into Vince and they both go crashing off the stage!!! :mark:

Man, God is pretty fucking useless in this match. He’s just stood on the apron watching as Shawn does all the work. Typical.

CHAIR TO HBK’S FACE~!

BLOOD~!

ARM DRAG INTO THE BARRICADE~!

Shane rubbing it in the face of God by climbing the turnbuckle where God is standing. ELBOW DROP~! SHAWN MOVED~! I wonder if he can make the hot tag!

God continues to stand by as Vince and Shane destroy HBK.

Vince on the mic again :lmao. He wants to know what God is gonna do about the fact they are demolishing Shawn.

OMG GOD WALKS OUT ON SHAWN~! What an evil bastard! He just left Shawn high and dry!

:lmao at Vince’s attempt at a Superkick :lmao.

HBK making a comeback! I guess God walking out on him has really motivated the Showstopper!

Shane hits his own dad in the head with a chair!!!

ELBOW DROP TO SHANE~!

SUPERKICK TO SHANE~!

SUPERKICK TO VINCE~!

Looks like HBK didn’t need God at all! :p

It’s time. It’s time. It’s… TABLE TIME!!!

LADDER~! Vince and Shane are on the tables, Shawn is on top of a giant ladder! Then the male cheerleaders show up to ruin everything so Shawn dives off the ladder onto them!!!

It’s now 7 on 1 (because God abandoned HBK LOL). The Spirit Squad do that lifting move they do and throw Shawn about 10 feet in the air, dropping him through a table!

Vince pins Shawn. VINCE AND SHANE HAVE A VICTORY OVER GOD~! :lmao

So while the premise of this match on paper sounds retarded, with a make believe character as Shawn’s tag partner… it’s actually a really good match! Vince and Shane destroy Shawn, Shawn is a great FIP, and there is a lot of good to be found here.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

So apparently Maria and her TITS are too busy so Todd Grisham is left to interview Cena. His TITS aren’t nearly as good.

 

Matt Striker comes out to teach us. He’s billed as being from “the classroom” :lmao. He brings out Eugene. He challenges Eugene to spell his own name. Instead, Eugene writes “loves poop” under Striker’s name on the chalkboard. So Eugene just proved he can’t spell his own name :lmao. And now Eugene has a booger. And he’s planning to eat it. He shoves it in Striker’s mouth instead then Stuns him :lmao. The fuck was the point of this segment?

 

John Cena Vs Edge Vs Triple H – WWE Championship Match

Edge fucks off to the outside and tells HHH and Cena to go at it. They seem to like this idea and punch each other in the face :p.

Edge laughs, and HHH and Cena decide to punch HIM in the face. Then I laugh :).

SPEAR TO CENA WHILE HE WAS HOLDING UP HHH FOR AN F-U~!

DDT ON THE TABLE TO HHH~! Huh, I always remembered that spot resulting in HHH being busted open, and him blading as he was taking the DDT so it looked like his head got busted open from the table. But he actually bladed from a ring post shot right before.

STFU TO EDGE~! He’s about to tap, but HHH shows up and grabs Edge’s arm, then smacks Cena in the head with a microphone :lmao.

Damn, HHH’s blade job is insane. His face is covered in blood and dripping like fuck. STFU TO HHH~!

:lmao at HHH screaming as he rises up off the mat and makes a dive for the ropes :lmao. UUURRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

So, HHH is in the STFU AGAIN, and Edge, being the smart guy he is… instead of GETTING IN THE RING AND BREAKING THE HOLD, decides to CLIMB THE ROPES. What a Rated R for Retard.

HHH just gave Lita a Spinebuster. WHAT A CUNT.

HHH grabs the chair and throws it away. He don’t need no chair. He needs a SLEDGEHAMMER~!

SPEAR TO THE GAME~!

:lmao Cena wins with a ROLLUP :lmao.

Pretty good triple threat, even with the typical formula.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 9.5

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *