Cyber Sunday 2007
I still firmly believe WWE should bring this show back for the WWE Network or something.
Finlay Vs Rey Mysterio – Stretcher Match
They had a match at the last PPV, and Finlay faked an injury. He was carried out on a stretcher, then jumped Rey and beat the fuck out of him. So no surprise the fans voted for a Stretcher Match here tonight!!!
Wow, people are watching this show in Scotland AND the UK!!! JBL is so smrt .
Rey takes that sliding bump from the inside of the ring to the outside, but instead of landing on the floor, he lands on the stretcher .
The other options for this match were No DQ and Sheleighly on a Pole. Thing is… a stretcher match is No DQ anyway… and they actually set up a pole with the sheleighly on top of it… so technically the fans get ALL 3 matches in one .
Sheleighly to Rey’s knee! Then somehow he manages to run and jump around right after. Come on Rey, you know better than that…
Match is a super fun brawl and some nice use of the stretcher too. Love the modified 619 that put Finlay on the stretcher. Rey completely ignores to sell his knee though which does suck.
the finish is botched when a cable gets caught up in the wheels of the stretcher, preventing Rey from pushing Finlay over the line . They improvise and Finlay still loses and it’s all ok in the end .
Good stuff, had some problems, but still fun as hell. They’ve had a bunch of better matches though.
CAL SCALE – 2
Fuck me, what happened to Matt Hardy’s face lol? He can’t compete tonight so MVP will defend his title against either Kane, Henry or Khali.
The divas are all dressed up and we have to vote for who has the best costume. Maria is a cat. Victoria is in one of those fat suits as a sumo wrestler .
CM Punk Vs The Miz – ECW Championship Match
Choices were BIG DADDY V, John Morrison and The Miz. And who the fuck did everyone pick? The Miz? Dear people. Get you heads examined. Thanks.
So I’ve almost seen all of Punk’s 2007 PPV matches now. And his 2007 on PPV was awful . A series of terrible matches with Morrison, a god awful match with Burke, a match with Miz here, and that couple minute match with BDV that could have been awesome if they gave it some more time and an actual finish. Guess they were just building him up for the WHC . It is WWE’s style, after all…
Vince McMahon: “I like this guy, I want him to be the champion in about 6 months time”.
Creative: “Ok Vince. We’ll book him in shitty matches and have him lose as often as possible and look pathetic right up until he wins the belt out of nowhere.
Vince McMahon: “Excellent”.
Miz forgets to move out of the way of a cross body. HE FORGETS TO MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. Leaving Punk to just land awkwardly on him.
Punk wins in another disaster of a PPV match for him in 2007.
CAL SCALE – 0
Mickie James is an Indian Warrior Princess. The hottest one ever according to her. I’d have to agree. Torrie Wilson is dressed like a man.
Time to find out who faces Orton in the WWE Title Match later tonight. HBK, Kennedy or Hardy? HBK, duh. Which means, Jeff Hardy and Mr Kennedy face each other next! Nice chance from the two losers getting a tag title match lol. Kennedy got 10%.
Jeff Hardy Vs Mr Kennedy
Headlocks. Yey. Wouldn’t mind if they knew how to work a headlock spot.
What a dull start to this match lol.
Mr Kennedy wins.
I swear that’s all I have to say about this one. They just… there was.. I mean… what?
No match structure, no story, just 2 guys doing something to fill time on a PPV.
CAL SCALE – 0
More divas in costumes. Melina looks like a tranny in her showgirl outfit. That’s disturbing.
Foley is practising for potentially being the referee in the main event by… talking to cut outs of Taker and Batista . JBL interrupts him with a video promoting HIM for the referee instead .
MVP Vs Kane – WWE United States Championship Match
So the fans picked Kane. Bah, why not Henry?
How long had Vickie been on TV at this point btw? Because she had a 1 line promo before the match and sounded more wooden than… uhhh… a plank of wood? I CAN’T BE FUNNY ALL THE TIME YOU KNOW.
Of course the fans picked Kane anyway. He’s the only fucking babyface out of the 3 choices. Plus he has the history with MVP so the fans really didn’t have much of a choice. Oh WWE, you claim to give the fans the power, then manipulate them to vote for who YOU want. Unless the system fucks up and some random dude gets picked instead .
Kane has injured ribs thanks to Big Daddy V on Smackdown, so MVP obviously goes after them. Aaaand then Kane gets really pissed and goes out of his way to fuck up MVP’s ribs so he can feel the same pain .
MVP gets his ribs so fucked up he gets counted out. Actually looked like a “genuine” way to get counted out than a heel just trying to keep his title lol. I mean, Kane FUCKED HIM UP lol.
Match was fine. Didn’t last too long and Kane did most of the work.
CAL SCALE – 0.5
Layla is a bad cop. Kelly Kelly is a pimp. Huh, some role reversal for her, then?
Randy Orton Vs Shawn Michaels – WWE Championship Match
HBK continues his STREAK of not losing in fan votes at Cyber Sunday to be placed into the championship match lol.
Don’t remember this match at all, and not expecting anything from it either. I seem to just remember it being a feud advancer for their Survivor Series match (which I get to watch soon ). Oh wait, I do remember the finish lol.
A superkick attempt early on forces Orton to shit himself and run to the outside . Then HBK does a dive over the ropes… and I *think* he wanted to just do his usual crossbody move… but he seemed to overshoot himself and ended up doing a flip .
So, Orton put HBK out of action for 4 months with a concussion. And HBK’s response to this is… arm work.
Back suplex on the ring apron puts Orton in controller now and… his arm is suddenly healed!
Oh wait, no, Orton showed some signs of pain in his arm. About 2 minutes after using it a couple of times… .
Honestly I was pretty bored with this whole thing. Mostly felt like they were wasting time rather than trying to have a great match.
And for it to end with a punch to the balls is meh as fuck too. Thankfully their SVS match is tremendous.
Best part of this was HBK hitting the superkick AFTER the match.
CAL SCALE – 0
Triple H Vs Umaga – Street Fight
Options were street fight, cage and first blood. And the fans went with STREET FIGHT? The fans boo when it isn’t a cage match lol, and I’m sure Vince isn’t too pleased cos they put a lot of effort into building it as a cage match .
I suppose it wouldn’t have mattered what kind of match this was. Based on previous encounters, I’m not thrilled at the prospect of sitting through this one. And if it was a cage match, HHH would probably have needed to be the heel in order to put in a good performance.
Brawling, and then for no reason other than being in position, Umaga disappears behind the Cyber Sunday set so he can get speared through it .
No expense spared with the set piece, either. Looked like it was made out of CARDBOARD.
HHH keeps punching Umaga, who just won’t fall down. So HHH goes outside, under the ring and pulls out…
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IT’S TIME FOR THE CYBER SUNDAY WEAPON OF CHOICE GAME!!!
HHH is trying to knock down the monster Umaga, but his right hand isn’t working. He goes under the ring for a weapon, but which does he choose?
A). The Sledgehammer
B). A steel chair.
C). A trash can.
D). Brass Knucks.
If you said A, B or D, then you are a fucking moron because OBVIOUSLY THE ONLY WEAPON TO TAKE DOWN UMAGA IS A FUCKING PAPER THIN TRASH CAN!!! Thanks for playing!
OH SHIT, THINGS JUST PICKED UP . UMAGA APPLIES A BEAR HUG!!!
A steel chair finally comes into the match and… gets used for a fucking low blow .
RUNNING SPLASH THROUGH THE TABLE~! In the absence of the Spanish Announce Table, the ECW one gets taken out. the ECW commentators aren’t even there . Did they just show up to commentate the ONE ECW match on the show then fuck off? Seems kinda pointless to me lol.
Sledgehammer to the face, Pedigree, HHH wins.
Had like 2 minutes worth of stuff that didn’t suck. And not altogether either. Spread across the entire match.
CAL SCALE – 0
Biggest moment of the night… who wins the diva Halloween costume competition?!?! My vote is for Mickie. Yey she won too . Not much competition though, most of the others looked pretty awful lol.
Batista Vs The Undertaker – Special Guest Referee Stone Cold Steve Austin – World Heavyweight Championship Match
been waiting for this one. Had to sit through a shitty event to see it but now I’m here.
All 3 potential referees come out to the ring and when Austin gets picked, we have us a brawl . AUSTIN TAKES SOME BUMPS!!! And then ends up stunning both guys .
So I’m half way into this match and yet to write anything until now lol. I just sat back to WATCH IT because it’s awesome . Love the start to the match with Batista charging at ‘Taker with a spear, just like he did at WM, but this time Undertaker is ready and avoids it, and tries to boot Batista in the face, but he too sees it coming and gets out of the way. From there it’s a slow build as they lock up and try to power each other around, before going into full “KILL EACH OTHER” mode!
The match is just a back and forth SLUGFEST between two heavyweights, one of whom happens to be one of the best ever. The other being Batista, duh. Austin as ref is literally there to try and increase buyrates because as a referee he does fuck all pretty much .
Remember when a chokeslam from Undertaker was actually believable as a finisher lol? I miss those days .
Man, Batista can’t throw a punch for shit. LOL.
The last 5 minutes or so are filled with both men hitting their big moves, which I think fits perfectly here as both men are hyped up by WWE are two unstoppable monsters, so they are going to have to hit EVERYTHING they’ve got, MULTIPLE TIMES to win. Kinda like Brock these days. He ain’t going down to one finisher… any more .
1…2… KICK OUT~!
Can Batista beat Undertaker? He hasn’t thus far in their 2007 rivalry, and so far the Spear, Spinebuster AND Batista Bomb have failed him.
But if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
And this time it IS over! Batista finally gets a win over the Dead Man and retains his title! They are now at 1 win each and 2 draws… so this isn’t over yet! HIAC here we come .
Lawler says it best (believe it or not) when he calls this match a WAR. Because that’s what it was. Two unstoppable monsters going to fucking WAR with each other for the World Heavyweight Championship. I love it. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. Always been my favourite of their series and still continues to be.
CAL SCALE – 7
Overall CAL SCALE – 9.5