Royal Rumble 2016 – Thoughts & Predictions

Posted on: January 24th, 2016 by Big Cal


I remember when the Royal Rumble was my all time favourite event of the year. No matter what was going on in WWE, I was always excited for this event. But the last few years have really killed my love for this event, and the RR match in general. Current storylines and direction of the company have me at an all time low with my love for wrestling. But, out of sheer habit I still keep up with what’s happening, and well, here I am getting ready to sit through this years Royal Rumble and just hope I can enjoy it.

The New Day Vs The Usos – WWE Tag Team Championship

Oh boy is this interesting… NOT. New Day are gonna retain the titles. Whatever.

Charlotte Vs Beck Lynch – WWE Divas Championship

Oh boy is this interesting… NOT. Charlotte will retain her title. Whatever.

Alberto Del Rio Vs Kalisto – WWE United States Championship

Oh boy is this interesting… REALLY! And I’m shocked. I have never cared for Del Rio. Barely seen any of Kalisto and never felt the need to watch anything he’s done in WWE. Yet, their recent SD title match where Del Rio won back the US title was… really fucking good. In fact it was the most enjoyable match I’ve seen in current wrestling since Brock/Taker HIAC in October. So with them actually getting a PPV match to break the 1-1 tie they both have in US title matches with each other recently, I am pretty excited to see what they can do. As far as the winner goes, I’m predicting that Del Rio will retain, just because I don’t see them switching the title AGAIN so quickly, nor do I see them actually making an effort with Kalisto because this is WWE and they suck at giving “new” people a real chance.

Dean Ambrose Vs Kevin Owens – Last Man Standing WWE Intercontinental Championship

Yeah, no. Not interested in this. I’ve actually gone out of my way to sit through most of their matches in the last few months, because I do like Owens and Ambrose has been enjoyable in the past, but every time I see them compete against each other I’m always left disappointed. They seem to try and have a chaotic Attitude Era style Steve Austin brawl and holy fuck does it come across as being super forced. Add to that the fact WWE is currently PG and WWE make sure that they don’t even push the PG rating. As a result we get awful, awful brawls between two guys who don’t appear to have much in ring chemistry together. Now, give them a LSM match and I’m predicting more awful brawling combined with a bunch of lame, predictable PG spots. At least one announce table is going to be destroyed, and maybe even the barricade spot will make an appearance. Current WWE brawls just ain’t my thing. Winner will be… Owens.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship 30 Man Royal Rumble Match

Oh boy, here we go. Firstly let me say when they first announced the rumble match being for the title, I quite liked the idea. The moment they announced Roman as being #1 in the match… I gave up. Because now its predicable as fuck. Roman is going to go all the way to the end and then get fucked. Because WWE wouldn’t dare have him be eliminated half way through and give the fans a sense of real excitement as we are then GUARANTEED a new champion. Nope, we have to sit through Roman fighting against the odds with the commentators busting a nut over him for a fucking hour straight before no doubt HHH shows up and sends Roman over the ropes. The only real question now is who will walk away with the title. HHH could be that guy. He could enter at #30 and eliminate Roman to win. BUT I’m going to assume that even WWE aren’t that retarded as to give HHH a title run in 2016, and I’ll say HHH will simply interfere in the match and cost Roman the title. Who wins in that situation? Well, I’m hearing rumours of Bray fucking Wyatt winning. No. Just no. Please no. I predict BROCK LESNAR is walking away with the gold. I’m hoping Brock walks away with the gold. Because Bray as champ make me wanna shoot someone. Mainly whoever thought Bray being champ was a good idea.

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