Bragging Rights 2009
For ONE HOUR I will have to sit through Orton Vs Cena. If I make it, I will indeed have BRAGGING RIGHTS!!!
The Miz Vs John Morrison – Smackdown Vs Raw Bragging Rights Match
The Jiz is the US champ. Also, I apparently didn’t remember that this show was a “best of 3” for Bragging Rights lol. I just thought it was the winner of the big 7 Vs 7 tag match, but nope. Gotta win 2 out of 3 matches tonight, with the 7 Vs 7 being one of them.
Oh, I’m not watching this. Miz wins for Raw though.
CAL SCALE – -1
Oh yey a backstage segment between Truth and Rhodes. This will be interesting…
Michelle McCool, Natalya & Beth Phoenix Vs Melina, Kelly Kelly & Gail Kim – Smackdown Vs Raw Bragging Rights Match
Fuck me. Skipping this one too. Team Smackdown win of course. Melina, KK and Gail Kim are Team Smackdown btw .
CAL SCALE – -1
Backstage we are in TEAM RAW’S LOCKER ROOM. DX pretty much bury their entire team . Well done, guys.
The Undertaker Vs CM Punk Vs Rey Mysterio Vs Batista – World Heavyweight Championship Match
Undertaker Vs 3 other guys he has incredible chemistry with!!!
This also happens to be the match that starts the “YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND” feud with Batista and Mysterio .
The Undertaker is fucking up EVERYONE early on. Well, everyone fucks up Punk because he’s a prick, but once he’s out of the way, Undertaker rolls through Batista and Mysterio until Punk comes back in to try and put a stop to the domination of the DEAD MAN.
LAST RIDE~! Mysterio is about to come crashing down, but his friend Batista SPEARS Undertaker instead! Then they tease Batista and Rey going at it, but of course it doesn’t happen yet.
Batista and Undertaker throwback to 07 by punching each other in the face repeatedly .
Once again though Punk breaks up the count, something he seems to be doing well here tonight.
I remember around this time in 09 that reports were always coming out every week about Undertaker not being 100% etc etc and people complaining about him being champion… yet he NEVER showed any signs of injury in his matches, and despite being in a lot of multiman matches during his reign, he was ALWAYS in the thick of it, and still took some crazy bumps. So in other words, FUCK THE HATERS.
MYSTERIO BREAKS UP THE COUNT~!
Batista is fucking PISSED and his friend Rey, and pie faces him out of the ring!
Mysterio tries to get back into the match, but Batista just LAUNCHES him over the ropes and onto Punk. Batista turns around right into a TOMBSTONE, and The Undertaker retains his title in a really fun fast paced 4 way match!!!
CAL SCALE – 2
Josh Matthews tries to interview Batista and Mysterio after the match… but all it does is add fuel to the fire and Batista kills Rey AGAIN .
Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Mark Henry, The Big Show, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes & Kofi Kingston Vs Chris Jericho, Kane, Finlay, Matt Hardy, Tyson Kidd, David Hart Smith & R-Truth – Smackdown Vs Raw Bragging Rights Match
Team Raw is fucking STACKED… while Team SD is a bit iffy outside of a couple of names . And the funny thing is that Team SD was COMPLETELY DIFFERENT until a few days ago . Yeah, they had all of Team SD aside from Kane and Jericho (co-team captains) go up against the guys now in the match to decide who was better. I saw the clips of that earlier in the show… and there was one guy in the match that I didn’t even fucking recognise .
Kane should never wear a blue SD vest ever again. He just… doesn’t suit normal clothes .
Fuck me, Big Show just RAN OVER Kane.
SWAGGER TIME~! He tries to taunt Kane and gets an uppercut for his troubles.
Swagger and Matt in the ring together . Reminds me of the fun times at ECW .
Charles Robinson is the bravest referee of them all, getting in between FOURTEEN MEN who wanna kill each other lol.
Hardy and Matt in the ring together . MOAR ECW memories .
Matt tries to make a tag, but Henry grabs one of his arms and fucking slings him back into the Raw corner like Matt weighed fuck all.
HBK TIME~! Did we ever, at any time, get a HBK Vs Matt singles match? Because fuck me that is something I’d LOVE to see. Or… would have done about 6 years ago…
FINLAY VS HBK . This match is just giving me tons of different match ups that I either loved when they happened or would love to have happened at some point . Having so much fun here .
SWEET CHIN MUSIC to FINLAY!!! But David Hart Smith got a blind tag and with Kidd, they hit the HART ATTACK out of nowhere and very nearly put away the Show Stoppa!!!
Nice that HBK is playing the FIP. Perfect guy to do it in this match for sure.
Hot tag to THE GAME, and HHH begins to stack up Team Smackdown with SPINEBUSTERS until Kane chokeslams him straight to hell!!!
Urgh, Kofi Kingston gets into the match for the first time. Was kinda hoping he’d go the entire match without being tagged in .
CHAOS~! Now everyone is getting into the match and taking someone out one after the other!!!
Big Show and Kofi are left standing for Team Raw… but Show CHOKESLAMS KOFI, knocks out HHH and leaves Jericho to pick up the win for Team Smackdown!!!
Very happy with this one . Tons, and I mean TONS of fun. Finlay kicking HHH out of the ring at the end is .
CAL SCALE – 3
Cody attacks Kofi backstage for being a LOSER. I approve.
Randy Orton Vs John Cena – WWE Championship Anything Falls Count Anywhere Goes 60 Minute Iron Man Match
SAVE ME JEBUS~!
Also, if Cena loses, he leaves Raw.
So, at least WWE decided to make this anything goes and FCA, because an hour of these two trying to have a normal wrestling match likely wouldn’t go very well . The stipulations let them try and be creative and hopefully be entertaining for the full hour. And there is a 30 second interval between falls as well… because WWE apparently didn’t think they could go the full hour without some rests .
3 minutes in and I’m already bored.
4 minutes in and Cena gets a win already. Orton taps out as quick as possible to the STFU to avoid any long term damage.
And now we wait for 30 seconds while they stare at each other…
Dear commentators, please stop telling us Bret/HBK Iron Man was a classic. It wasn’t. It was awful.
RKO, Orton gets a fall too.
And now they decide to use some weapons too. TV monitor to Cena plus a mic to the head, but Cena doesn’t stay down.
Cena is BLEEDING. No blood in THREE HELL IN A CELL MATCHES at the last PPV… but Iron Man? BLOOD~!
Cena decides that taking a beating and bleeding means nothing and fires back up like nothing is wrong, and then hits the AA but is countered into an RKO and… both men get a win?
Ok, so Cena has been beaten up. His head is BLEEDING. He’s taking head shots from a mic, tv monitor and steel steps. His AA was countered into an RKO… but HE is the one to get back up first, and manages to hit Orton with an AA FROM THE ROPES to get another fall?
While the 30 seconds is counting down, LEGACY show up and attack Cena, allowing Orton to get another fall straight away. 3-3 now. Yey…
Kofi shows up to chase off Legacy with a chair.
22 minutes down. 38 left. I wanna cry.
They fight on the outside, and end up at the pyro area, where Orton smashes Cena onto the control pad and a bunch of fireworks go off… ORTON HAS A PLAN!!!
Orton throws Cena into some lights, which also explode, and Orton is up 1 fall!
So while Cena is trying to crawl to safety, Orton starts pressing buttons again to see what does what. Why? HE TRIES TO BLOW UP CENA . They should have made this an exploding death match instead .
Well, sitting through 30 minutes of the match so far was totally worth it for that moment .
awesome spot with the steel steps. Orton throws them, and Cena lets them land on his head and bounce off .
IT’S ALMOST A BLESSING THAT THIS IS THE LAST TIME THESE TWO WILL FACE EACH OTHER~! Lawler shooting right there . Just a shame IT WAS A LIE. And they would face each other again. In more shitty fucking matches. FUCK YOU WWE.
ROLL UP OUTTA NOWHERE~! Cena ties it at 4-4, and Orton is furious .
Hangman DDT from the apron to the floor, and it’s 5-4 for Orton.
You know what’s awesome? SUPER MARIO MAKER . I may have been playing it at certain periods of time during this match .
Things have REALLY slowed down now, and holy fuck is it dull .
I swear for about a 10 minute period, the only moves done are punches and stomps. And mostly from Orton. Who is a horrible puncher.
Yey now they are punching each other in the crowd.
Cena throws Orton through the barricade, and it looks REALLY GOOD because it almost seemed like it wasn’t supposed to break lol.
AA off the steps through the announce table. Cena is building momentum and destroying Orton at the same time. And he needs to because we have less than 10 minutes left and it’s currently tied at 5-5!
5 minutes left and Cena decides to be a retard and puts himself through a table. *slow clap*
they do a back and forth punch spot, but most of the fans are booing both men rather than getting a “yey” “boo” thing going .
Just under 3 minutes left and we get a ref bump .
RKO~! Oh but the referee is dead. Shocking.
Another referee shows up but Cena kicks out. So Orton attacks the new referee. Leaving no referee again. So Orton still won’t be able to get another fall if he wanted to. Smart…
If you were to take a shot every time one of the commentators called this one of the greatest rivalries ever… you’d be drunk enough to get through this match.
A minute left and Orton is stuck in the STFU.
10 seconds left…
ORTON TAPS OUT with 5 seconds left. Cena wins 6-5.
IT’S OVER!!! I DID IT!!! I MADE IT!!! I SAT THROUGH ONE FUCKING HOUR OF CENA VS ORTON!!!
Well, it’s not the worst Iron Man match… Bret Vs HBK still holds that accolade… but boy is this not good.
CAL SCALE – 1
Overall CAL SCALE – 4