TNA Lockdown 2011 Review

Posted on: April 18th, 2011 by Big Cal

TNA Lockdown 2011

Don’t think I’ve ever reviewed a full TNA PPV before, but for some reason I decided to do a full review for this show. Also haven’t seen a full TNA PPV in… years. Haven’t even bothered watching the odd match for the last few months despite watching Impact every week for the last few months too. But this is Lockdown, and even when I don’t care about the product (every year since like, 2006 lol) I at least went out of my way to check out some of the bigger matches on the show.

Chris Sabin Vs Robbie E Vs Jeremy Buck Vs Max Buck Vs Amazing Red Vs Jay Lethal Vs Brian Kendrick Vs Suicide

Ok, so there are tags inside the cage, which I’m never the biggest fan of, but its not something I hate. And with so many men in this match it prevents it from becoming a clusterfuck right off the bat so its perfectly fine here. However… why the FUCK are people tagging themselves in? I get when Jeremy tagged himself in to get to his brother Max as they are having their problems lately, but when someone is getting beat down and close to being eliminated, why the fuck would you tag into the match in his place? The more you are involved in the match, the more chance of being eliminated before the final 2 you get.

Kendrick has the right idea; he’s just sat on the apron where everyone pretty much forgets he is there, including me for a little while lol.

Some nice exchanges, executed really well… but bloody hell is this thing spotty for the sake of it. One part where Red jumps off the ropes and Sabin catches him in a suplex position, only for Sabin to PUT HIM DOWN and lift him up again for something else was just fucking retarded. He could have still picked him back up to do the move he wanted to do AFTER hitting the suplex and softening his opponent up more, but nah. SPOTZ~!

Finish is shit and underwhelming, and the fans stopped caring about the match around the time Lethal and Sabin were eliminated.

Strange match imo. Either they were just hitting moves for the sake of it, or they just weren’t doing much of anything. And pretty much all of it was boring (dead crowd didn’t help either).

Rating: 3/4*

Ink Ink Vs The British Invasion Vs Eric Young & Orlando Jordon Vs Crimson & Steiner

Apparently TNA has a great tag team division. I’m sure as hell not seeing it here. Ink Ink are just bad, Young and OJ are just a shitty, random joke team (Santino and Kozlov of TNA… if Kozlov was gay), Steiner and Crimson look strange together and seem to have lost focus on why the fuck they are even here (ummm… taking down Immortal? Anyone remember when Crimson was hired by “they” to deliver messages to Immortal? And when Steiner returned to help out “they” take down Immortal? None of this ringing a bell with TNA creative?), and British Invasion… well they look like a tag team and aren’t too bad actually. So that’s one so far. Still better than WWE I guess lol.

Best thing about the early going of this match is all the innuendo comments that Taz and Tenay keep coming up with or implying, regarding OJ. SPOTTED DICK~!

Man, Lockdown being an all cage PPV is just awesome. Without it, a match like this would NEVER be in a cage! Wait… wouldn’t that be a good thing? Having an all cage PPV would be fine if you know, all the matches had a fecking reason for being in the cage. At least when WWE do HIAC they don’t make ALL matches inside HIAC. Shows like TLC and Extreme Rules don’t seem as bad because they at least vary the matches. With this everything is in a cage, but there are different ways to win while inside the damn thing :p.

British Invasion are the work horses of this match (and rightfully so); working over OJ and Young at the beginning, then moving onto Ink Ink for the middle part of the match, and then being on the wrong end of a Steiner rampage when he gets the hot tag.

After a ton of MOVES~! at the end with everyone getting a shot in at someone… Eric Young stands tall… and escapes the cage while Moore wins the match with a pinfall… one of only two ways to win :p. Sucks that British Invasion are the ones on the losing end when it came down to it since they were the team that held this match together.

Not horrible, I gotta say. Like I said, British Invasion were the team to watch in this one, and without them this probably WOULD have sucked balls. But with them being in the match for 90% of the time, we saw some good tag action and I liked this for the most part.

Rating: **1/2

Madison Rayne Vs Mickie James

Mickie wins in less than a minute. Anyone else think they just copied WWE from the 2010 RR? You know, when Mickie was feuding with LayCool for AGES, and then they ended the feud with Mickie winning the belt in seconds? Yeah, that was a smart move by WWE, so I can see why TNA decided to copy it…

Oh wait, Mickie was hurt? So that’s probably why they made the match short! Ah, that’s ok then. Shitty booking can be excused because of Mickie’s injury. I guess. Kinda. Maybe. Nah. Not in the slightest. Could they come up with nothing else that wouldn’t make Madison look pathetic AND keep this feud going until Mickie COULD wrestle a full match? If Mickie couldn’t work the match beyond what she did, then surly putting the TITLE on her is… stupid? Will she be able to defend it for a few weeks?

Oh wait, the stipulation was that if Mickie lost, she would lose her hair! So they COULDN’T do anything but have Mickie win in 30 seconds! Nothing like booking yourself into a corner and not being able to get out.

And I’m done :p. Ranted more than I should have there, but hey, I did the same throughout my WM 27 review when it came to anything The Rock ruined did.

Rating: DUD

Samoa Joe Vs The Pope

Jesus, this feud is STILL going? Well at least its most likely gonna end here. Started off shitty, got worse, but maybe it can end on a high note with a decent match.

I had to rewind a lot of this match 2 or 3 times because I just kept losing interest and not paying attention to what they were doing. Even after watching it a few times I would forget everything before the slap fest. Which was dumb.

:lmao at Pope’s arse getting exposed, only for an OJ joke to emerge from the commentary team. Best part of the match lol.

Huh, Rear Naked Choke from Joe to Pope, who a few moments before had his arse exposed… and no joke from Taz and Tenay. I’m disappointed. Just like I am disappointed with this match. I just hope this feud is finally over with.

Rating: 1/4*

Matt Morgan Vs Hernandez

So far this show has sucked, with the tag match being enjoyable for the most part but still not being “good”. Why is it that I’m not expecting this match to change my opinion on the show so far? :p

Oh hey, TNA have their own Chavo! Well, he looks like him anyway… just a little more beefed up and some tattoos. I bet he jobs every week too!

So, Super Mex dominates Morgan, and is boring as SHIT on offence. Then Morgan makes a babyface comeback, and is god awful at it. probably those terrible punches he throws that makes it so bad. They just look so weak and… fake. I know wrestling isn’t exactly real, but come on, the whole point is to make shit LOOK real.

Finish (Carbon Footprint while Super Mex jumps off the ropes) looked dreadful. Yeah yeah, doing something like that is difficult due to timing and the fact one slip could seriously fuck someone up… but if you can’t do it right, just don’t bother.

Yawn. Shit. Next.

Rating: 1/4*

Jeff Jarrett Vs Kurt Angle

*please don’t be a shitty spotfest, please don’t be a shitty spotfest*

Jeff and Kurt have a history of good matches together. However, Kurt and cages have a history of nonsensical spotfests. I’m hoping a combination of the two will result in something that doesn’t make me smash my head against a wall.

Karen Angle is being removed from the ringside area. For a cage match. A match designed to keep people from interfering. LOL.

Oh, this is 2 out of 3 falls too. Cool, should be a nice feud ender :).

First fall is a submission only match, so despite the fact that Kurt wants to kill Jarrett, I don’t mind the fact that he’s just WRESTLING for now. If Angle can gain the advantage with his superior mat wrestling skills then he should be able to tear Jarrett apart to gain some reve…

Oh, Jarrett just tapped to the Ankle Lock. Well, so much for that fall lol :p.

Wait, I’m not bothered by the quickness of that! It, dare I say this during a Kurt Angle match… makes sense. Its 2 out of 3 falls, and the Ankle Lock is a deadly move. Jarrett tapping out quickly means he isn’t in the hold for long, and he can save himself for the next 2 falls rather than being a moron and trying to fight his way out of the hold or something and being vulnerable right off the bat for the second fall.

Where is this PPV being held BTW? Crowd is fucking terrible, and not in the way the Impact Zone usually are (loud and retarded. These fans are pretty silent), so I’m guessing its not at the IZ. Jarrett hits the Stroke a few moments after tapping out and gets a near fall, and it wasn’t until Tenay mentioned it was Jarrett’s finisher than I realised what just happened lol. The fans made ZERO noise for JJ hitting Angle with his finisher during a match. LOL. At least they realise when Kurt hits HIS finisher :p.

Poor Angle, gotta feel for the guy. He can’t even do his favourite “pointless spot” where he gets knocked off the ropes and then bounces up and hits a super belly to belly. He eventually does it despite slipping trying to jump up onto the ropes, but its slow as hell and looks retarded.

THE VIPER IS COILED! RKO! RKO! RKO! Did I just switch to an Orton match very quickly? No? HOW DARE KURT USE ANOTHER WRESTLER’S MOVE! I demand Orton goes on Twitter, bitches about it then claims he was hacked!

:lmao at the finish to the second fall. I don’t even think Kurt and Jarrett realise it was over. The crowd sure as fuck didn’t. Hell, nobody did until JB announced the third fall rules. This match is just falling flat on its arse.

Kurt kills Jarrett with a bunch of suplexes, then begins to walk out of the cage, but like his match against Anderson he decides to stay and kill his opponent some more instead (at least, I think he did that in the Anderson match… I try to forget that entire shit fest). If it did happen during Anderson/Angle (which I think it did because I seem to remember it lol), I also seem to remember hating it because it seemed dumb (probably because the feud was basically dead weeks before the cage match when Angle GOT HIS REVENGE on Anderson on an Impact…), but for this match, its great. Its such a personal feud, and despite the fact I haven’t enjoyed the majority of it, Angle staying in to kill Jarrett some more is PERFECT.

The fuck was the deal with Jarrett telling Angle to give him some more, only to turn around and try to escape when Angle walks towards him? Jarrett was hurt and had no chance in hell of escaping while Angle was on his feet, in control and not that hurt. Oh, it was to set up a SPOT~!

And holy SHIT at the spot. I mean BOTCH. Seems they try to do a Hurricanrana out of a Powerbomb… but it was just Angle nearly landing on his neck as usual. But that doesn’t stop him from charging up the ropes for a super Angle Slam just moments later! Selling? Not for Kurt!

Kurt decides that this shit is over, and checks his underwear… only to find nothing there. The key is missing of course, not his penis (though I can’t confirm that obviously)! Fuck knows where it went, I didn’t see it fly out anywhere.

So, Kurt tries to climb out, but Gunner shows up with a chair to stop him. So, if he can’t escape, what’s the next best thing to do? MOONSAULT!

Wouldn’t have been my first answer, but hey, this is Kurt Angle! Shame is MISSED, and I honestly don’t know if that was a botch or not. I don’t recall seeing Jarrett actually move. So… Kurt MISSED a moonsault from the top of the cage, and gets up first. As if nothing happened. Then finds the cage door key in his underwear. Where he checked 5 minutes ago and couldn’t find it. Then Karen shows up and sprays something in Kurt’s eyes. Which still allows Kurt to lock in the Ankle Lock. So Jeff hits him with a guitar. And Angle still gets back up and locks in the Ankle Lock. So Karen smashes the cage door into Angle’s head. And Jeff wins.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT?

Overbooked and ridiculous finish. Typical shitty selling and meaningless cage spots from Angle. Terrible end to the second fall that killed an already dead crowd until the SPOTZ~! came into play. Botched SPOTZ~! at that too.

Extremely disappointed with this, but at the same time I kinda expected it to be bad. Sure, JJ and Angle had some great matches in the past, but Angle + Cage is just something that rarely ends up being good. Not sure which match I hated more; this or Angle/Anderson. Hmmm… definitely this one actually. It had some good in it, absolutely, but they were just very small things, and they killed them off with the pure shit that follwed for the rest of the match. Bah.

Rating: *1/2

Sting Vs Mr Anderson Vs RVD

TNA title is on the line! Wonder if this will last longer than 2 minutes…

Kinda wish it was only 2 minutes tbh. Triple Threat matches are rarely great, just because the basic structure of them is a littlw weird and some guys just can’t handle it. Here they had the problem of it being a triple threat, being inside a cage, and not having that much time. So what we get is little action outside of everyone hitting finishers, hardly any selling in between the finishers… and then Hogan showing up to make things worse. Sting retains, which is fine. Actually, I quite liked the end. RVD was handed the pipe, he refused to use it, so Mr Arsehole takes advantage only for Sting to come up behind him and hit his finisher for the win, with RVD being out of it still from the pipe shot. So Anderson screwed himself over in a sense, which is always fun because Anderson sucks.

Rating: 1/2*

Immortal (Bully Ray, Matt Hardy, Abyss & Ric Flair) Vs Fourtune (Kaz, James Storm, Robert Roode & Christopher Daniels)

Lethal Lockdown. The main selling point of this PPV for the majority of its existence. The reason being is that it usually contains a ton of big stars and has a long blood feud leading up to it. This year is a little different though. No “big” stars at all (unless you count Flair, but it IS 2011 lol), and Immortal’s team is… god awful basically. But at least we have some great young talent (and Daniels who isn’t very young compared to the rest lol) in Fourtune to make up for it.

Things were dull for a little while in the early going, but once Daniels came in, things picked up and I really started enjoying it. Some really nice offence from Daniels, and some good double team stuff by Daniels and Kaz as they try to keep Hardy and Abyss down before they are at a 3-2 disadvantage. Flair is in next, and the fans are loving everything he does. Things get better when Storm comes in and takes care of everyone but Flair, causing Flair to both beg off Storm and scream at Abyss and Hardy to get up to help him :p. Bottle to the head of Flair, followed by a typical obvious blade job from the Nature Boy :p.

Bully is last in for Immortal, and things start going their way for the next few minutes thanks to Bully’s freshness in the match and his power.

Roode is last in and goes to work on Immortal, as his team are laid out still. He fends them off long enough for the rest of Fourtune to rest, and then the cage top with weapons finally lowers (almost forgot about that lol). Now things should get more interesting… I hope.

With Immortal down, Fourtune are free to get the weapons for themselves, and they destroy their opponents, even sending Abyss through the door. So, with Immortal getting killed, what does Hardy do? Goes outside and climbs on top of the cage. Ummm… did Angle make some suggestions bfore the match?

FUCK! Daniels joining Hardy on top of the cage and nearly fell off the damn thing. Then Matt DOES fall off… while climbing down I think so its not as bad, but we just see it in the background and its made into such a little deal that its laughable. At least when Daniels jumps off the thing onto Abyss and Hardy they show it fully on camera and make a big deal out of it :p.

Bully owning everyone with a Kendo Stick might be my legit favourite part of this entire show, never mind just the match. Especially when he starts showing off and spinning it in his hands. I demand he change his character from Bully Ray to Ninja Ray.

Ok, I just found something even better. Flair, covered in blood, trying to sneak up behind AJ. I’m gonna have to post an image of that.

Image

Anyway, Flair gets stuck in an arm bar and taps out, and Fourtune get the big victory with a return of AJ too.

Fun match for the most part. Early going was dull, but it picked up once Daniels got in, and it kept my interest from there. Loved pretty much everything after the roof came down (except for Hardy’s random climb to the top of the cage). Great to see the right people going over, and no Hogan/Bischoff showing up either (I guess Hogan didn’t want to walk to the ring twice :p ). Definitely MOTN, but even so, its nothing I would call great or even that good. Just entertaining.

Rating: **3/4

OVERALL: Terrible, terrible PPV. I thought WM was shit outside of maybe 3 matches, but this really doesn’t have ANYTHING you need to see.

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