Road to Royal Rumble – Royal Rumble Ramblings #6

Posted on: January 9th, 2013 by Big Cal

1993 Royal Rumble

The first RR where a winner gets a title shot at WM! Also the first RR of the “new generation”, and between the presentation and some of the wrestlers, the difference between this and 1992 is pretty huge tbh. It all “feels” very different, at least it does to me.

Match 1 – The Beaverly Brothers Vs The Steiner Brothers – Yeah, I’ll sit through a BB match. After all, it should be fun to see the Steiners throw them around. Fun match. Steiners suplex the fuck out of the BB, BB get a short control segment on Scott and do ok, then Rick gets a hot tag and tears them apart. Frankensteiner from Scott and it’s over. Solid opener. **3/4

Match 2 – Shawn Michaels Vs Marty Jannetty – So they broke up… early 92 (or late 91?)… finally get a match in 93 lol. Marty got released before they could follow up on the angle at the time haha. Sherri is at ringside, but nobody knows who she’ll side with. Marty hit her in the head with a mirror… but Shawn moved her in front of him for it to happen. I do not have fond memories of this match. They have 2 Raw matches later in the year, one really good, and one great, but for some reason they only seem to talk about the really good one and only put that one on sets and shit. Didn’t care for it on this watch either. Shawn bored the fuck out of my while on offence. Sherri slaps him at one point. Probably because she too thought he was boring. Sherri accidentally hits Marty with her shoe or something too (I faded out by then) and Shawn follows up with a superkick and its over. Thankfully. *.

Match 3 – Bam Bam Bigelow Vs The Big Bossman – BAM BAM. BAM BAM. BAM BAM. BAM BAM. HE CARRIES A BIG STICK, A BALL AND CHAIN TOO. Big different in theme songs here lol. LMAO apparently Bossman is good with handcuffs. Perve. Fucking BEAR HUGS. I hate them. So fucking dull. Headbutt from the ropes and Bam Bam wins. Didn’t care for this either. *.

Razor promo. He likes gold. He wants Bret’s gold. From the day before. He’s at a basketball game.

Match 4 – Bret Hart Vs Razor Ramon – Bret gives his sunglasses to a kid like normal. Razor throws his toothpick at the kid! Ha. Bret goes to work on the legs early, smart in a match against a bigger opponent. LMAO, Bret reaches out to grab Razor’s leg at one point… and misses. Excellence of Execution my arse! Before Lawler, there was Heenan mocking Bret’s parents. Bret keeps working the legs, but Razor finds an opening when he reverses Bret and sends him rib first into the ring post, and thus begins Razor’s control segment and rib work over. Razor does a nice job of working the ribs, Bret sells well until he makes his comeback and uhhh… doesn’t even Monsoon mentions it lol. Then he has no choice but to sell them again when Razor goes back to them in order to slow down Bret’s momentum. Finish is cool. Bret hooks in some crazy pin, Razor kicks out so Bret turns that into a Sharpshooter. Good match. ***1/4.

Bobby Heenan introduces the debuting Lex Luger. And seems to be infatuated with his body. The fans don’t give a single fuck.

Julius Caesar and Cleopatra are in the ring where Caesar himself tells us about WM 9. Again, the fans don’t give a single fuck. Ha.

Match 5 – 30 Man Royal Rumble Match – #1 is none other than Ric Flair, and #2? BOB FUCKING BACKLUND. Oh I so wish their match in the early 80’s wasn’t lost forever. This is as close as we’ll ever get to see it. And that makes me sad. LMAO, Flair pokes Bob in the eyes and Bob doesn’t even react, almost like he has no idea what Flair just did to him. Did anyone ever poke him in the eyes back in the day? Maybe it’d never happened to him before lol. PAPA SHANGO. No music in this RR either. Dammit.  Shango must be cursed or something because he’s gone in about 30 seconds. DiBiase is out next. Oh man, DiBiase, Flair and Backlund? Bring out ARN and we’ve got a great FOUR HORSEMEN group! JERRY LAWLER. Oh wow, Lawler, Backlund, DiBiase and Lawler in the ring at the same time? Get Virgil out of the ring and this could be fucking awesome. Oh shit, Flair and Lawler exchanges. MARK OUT MODE ACTIVATED. TENRYU. FLAIR AND TENRYU. OH SWEET JEBUS I’M STUCK IN PERMANENT MARK OUT MODE. MR PERFECT. HOW IS VIRGIL THE JOBBER KING STILL IN THERE? GET HIM OUT SO WE CAN HAVE ONE OF THE MOST AWESOME RR’S EVER. Poor Tenryu, nobody wants to play with him. He just walks about waiting for someone. Dammit Flair’s gone. At least he had moments with everyone, and that made my day. Month even. Screw it, lifetime. GREATEST THING EVER. Oh man, LMFAO. “Look at Koko unloading on the King” followed by “There’s a lot of people who want to unload on the King”. Seriously though, what is the deal with Tenryu? Nobody seems to want to do anything with him. He’s constantly stood around doing nothing lol. Perfect eliminates Lawler, then Perfect is in trouble on the apron and Lawler helps make sure he’s eliminated too. They brawl. Did they have a singles match? OMG UNDERTAKER. UNDERTAKER AND TENRYU IN THE SAME MATCH. BACKLUND IS IN THERE TOO. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Undertaker eliminates Tenryu. The Berzerker (Bruiser Brody wannabe) attacks Backlund on the floor with a chair. Neither man is eliminated though lol. The ring gets cleared of everyone leaving Undertaker (Backlund still on the floor), and out comes Giant Gonzales, one of the worst wrestlers of all time. So of course he’s Undertaker’s next opponent. He eliminates Undertaker and… eliminates himself? Is he even in the Rumble? I don’t care, he’s terrible. The battle for a while then Gonzales goes away and leaves Undertaker out cold in the ring still while the match continues.  YOKO. YOKO AND EARTHQUAKE CONFRONTATION. Yoko eliminates him with a belly to belly. Bob goes. Booo. Savage and Yoko are the last 2. Savage goes for a pin. Yoko throws him off and he goes over the ropes. LOL. Yoko wins. Decent match. Gets really dull after the Undertaker beatdown. Before then we had great talent, afterwards it was mainly jobbers. **3/4

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