Road to Royal Rumble – Royal Rumble Ramblings #8

Posted on: January 10th, 2013 by Big Cal

1995 Royal Rumble

The first PPV of what is normally considered the WORST year in WWF/E history! However, my memory screams that this is a pretty good even for the most part at least! Yey. Starts off with Pamela Anderson getting out of a limo and all the wrestlers hitting on her.

Match 1 – Jeff Jarrett Vs Razor Ramon – IC title match! Razor’s punches are pretty awesome. Did I mention that yesterday? If I didn’t I should have because I thought it. Jarrett was perfect in this position on the card. Mid carder having matches with good talent who could go through him to the main event. He himself is NOT a main eventer. Booking himself as a main eventer in TNA doesn’t make him one. Sure, a number of wrestlers in the old days booked themselves as top guy, but guess what? They drew. Jeff didn’t. There was that time in WCW too, but the company was dying anyway and Russo was in love with him or something (anyone seen his second RF shoot interview? He talks about how it’s impossible NOT to love Jeff because of his long blond hair, big smile and charm…). And he still didn’t draw shit lol. So after a bunch of fun sequences of Razor outsmarting Jarrett, Jarrett getting mad then cheating and acting like he’s the greatest thing ever when he manages to get one over on Razor… The Roadie clips Razor’s knee on the outside and gets him counted out. That means he keeps the title! Jarrett gets a mic and calls Razor a coward and tricks him into restarting the match. With his knee being fucked, it’s only a matter of time before Jarrett get the win and the IC belt. Good stuff. ***1/2.

Match 2 – I.R.S. Vs The Undertaker – Urgh. Not sure even I can sit through this as like, the world’s biggest Undertaker fan lol. It’s slow, plodding, dull, but it has its moments (thanks to Undertaker). Poor Undertaker would have to wait basically an entire year to finally get put in matches with guys who could be remotely entertaining. And when he was in that situation, he started putting on great matches and showing that he was more than the zombie character that we saw for so many years. *.

Match 3 – Bret Hart Vs Diesel – WWF Title is on the line in Diesel’s first title defence since winning the belt in an 8 second match in MSG against Bob Backlund. Both are faces, so they kinda do the whole “respect” thing at the start… then they implode pretty quickly and try to beat the fuck out of each other and I’m loving it. Bret Vs someone bigger than him = LEG WORK. But he’s really good at it so I’m not complaining. Diesel’s power comes into play allowing him to gain the advantage. Diesel manages to hit his powerbomb… and HBK runs in to break the count and attack Diesel. So it’s over, right? NOPE LOL. That would be the usual, traditional thing to do. Diesel gets attacked but somehow it is fair for the match to continue. Ha. Almost like the company don’t WANT Diesel to leave with the title. Except they do and they want him to keep it for almost a full year. LOL. So Diesel got attacked AND has a bad knee, Bret has bad ribs. Both men target those injuries and do a real nice job of it. Diesel punching the ribs of Bret while he’s in a figure four is pretty awesome. Bret uses a CHAIR on Diesel… but misses. Not sure if it was an intentional miss or not, but the ref doesn’t do anything (not that he would anyway apparently), and McMahon says it missed too. Owen attacks Bret. Match continues. LOL. Bret throwing massive punch after punch and finally taking down the giant is an awesome sequence. Bret fakes a knee injury and rolls up Diesel for a 2 count. WHAT A HERO BRET IS. That would be the actual finish to their match later in the year. Ref gets knocked out and a bunch of guys show up to attack BOTH men. This is too much now. Double DQ or No Contest or something lol. Awesome match, dumb finish. ****1/2.

Match 4 – 123-Kid & Bob Holly Vs Bam Bam Bigelow & Tatanka – Tag titles on the line. HBK and Diesel were champs but they broke up and the titles became vacant. Cue tournament. This be the finals. I mentioned the streak of great tag matches on RR events since it first started in 1988. Well this would be the last tag match worth seeing (from what I remember anyway) until 2000. SPARKY. Big tough Bob Holly and he gets stuck with Sparkplug aka SPARKY gimmick. LOL. HOLY SHIT! Bigelow throws Kid in the air and catches him for a powerbomb, which is awesome in iteself… but then Kid hits a hurricanrana! Such a shame the “kliq” didn’t like Bigelow because he’s a pretty great big man. Should have had a Henry/Rey SD 06 type match on PPV. That would have been epic. At least we got a great singles match with Bigelow and Kid which I think happened a week or so before this match. Bigelow puts on a tremendous performance in this match. He really is the star of the match and certainly his team. He’s great at cutting Holly off from making the tag and shit. Plus I love his offence which is a mix of power and high flying. OH YEAH, THERE’S TED’S FACE. Commentary cracks me up. THERE’S STILL A SPARK (get it) LEFT IN BOB HOLLY…andtatankastopsitwitharaketotheface. Vince is awesome. Big upset win and the Kid & Holly win the tag belts! This is an AWESOME tag match. Liked it more than on last watch too! Aftermath sees LT and Bigelow get into a pushing confrontation, and WM 11’s main event is set! ****.

Match 6 – 30 Man Royal Rumble Match – This match is only 5 minutes longer than the 1988 RR match… and that one had 20 guys instead of 30! Instead of 2 minutes or 90 seconds between entrants, this one is the only RR match to feature 60 second intervals. Guess they didn’t have faith in HBK lasting over an hour and winning from #1 that way haha. More likely is that the talent for the match is so thin they didn’t want to subject is to an hour of it. Plus, who the fuck would be excited at the end of each 2 minutes when we get the likes of Timothy Well and Tom Pritchard? LMAO at Mo charging into the ring like he’s gonna win… and he gets thrown out straight away by BUNDY. Then Mabel shows up to gain revenge. He eliminates Bundy in the slowest way possible. Takes Bundy like 10 seconds to touch the floor. Only one of Shawn Michaels’ feet hit the ground. He wins. And that is about all you need to know about this shite match. Worst RR so far. Soon to be the second. **.

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