Road to Royal Rumble – Royal Rumble Ramblings #12

Posted on: January 14th, 2013 by Big Cal

1999 Royal Rumble

Oh god.

Match 1 – Road Dogg Vs The Big Bossman – Oh god. Bear Hug. Urgh. Only good part was Road Dogg screaming “OHHH SHIIIIT” when he gets caught in it. Bossman makes a lazy cover, and Lawler responds with “BAD COP. NO DONUT FOR YOU!” LMAO. Match sucked. DUD.

Match 2 – Billy Gunn Vs Ken Shamrock – THINK ABOUT HIS HAIRY BUTT RIGHT IN YOUR SISTER’S FACE. Some ok stuff here. Literally nothing worth writing about though. Val appearance. Shamrock still wins. *.

Match 3 – Gangrel Vs X-Pac – This is fun. Not great, but a fun sprint that doesn’t go too long. Teddy Long botches a pin at one point by counting to 3 when it was supposed to be a 2 count… then pretending he only counted 2 and letting the match continue until the real finish lol. **.

Shane McMahon. With some really strange shitty theme music. He introduces Luna. Ok.

Match 4 – Sable Vs Luna – Oh god. Women’s title match. Strap match. This is gonna be terrible. So I’m skipping it. NO.

Match 5 – Mankind Vs The Rock – I Quit match for the WWF title. STEEL STAIRS INTO THE BACK, WHAT A CHAIR SHOT. Vintage botch commentary from Cole! LOL, an announcer botches, followed by the announce table! Breaks while both guys are just stood on it, before they can do the Rock Bottom spot. YOU GO PISS YOURSELF. Liked how the turned out the lights when Mankind takes the bump into the electrical equipment. Little things like that add to the realism of the match, something I doubt we’d get today. So this match is most known for THOSE chairshots. You know, the ones to Mankind’s unprotected head. Where Rock nails him MORE than they had agreed. FUCK YOU ROCK. Overall though, match is a good brawl. ***3/4. Bright spot on one of the single worst PPV’s ever.

Match 6 – 30 Man Royal Rumble Match – Austin is #1, McMahon is #2. $100,000 reward to whoever eliminates Austin. There are literally only about 3 people out of the 30 who realistically have a chance of winning this match. And none of them win. Match is 90% filled with JOBBERS. Austin and McMahon end up brawling backstage, Austin gets sent to the hospital, then comes back at the end to take out McMahon but McMahon ends up eliminating him and winning the RR match. Yeah. Worst. Royal Rumble Match. Ever. Highlight is definitely GILBERG though. DUD.

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