Road to Royal Rumble – Royal Rumble Ramblings #13

Posted on: January 15th, 2013 by Big Cal

2000 Royal Rumble

I has super fond memories of this event! My first wrestling PPV in over 2 years at the time!

Match 1 – Kurt Angle Vs Tazz – Angle is undefeated, and this is Tazz’s debut for the company! It’s shot, but it’s fun. SUPLEXES. Tazz chokes out Angle, gets a big win in his debut, while Angle can still claim he’s undefeated due to the fact he was choked out and that’s illegal. Everybody wins! **.

Match 2 – The Dudley Boys Vs The Hardy Boys – First ever tag team tables match in the WWF! And honestly based on my memory (which I admit isn’t the best source lol), it’s probably still the best. Best tables match in general as well actually. Yeah, I love this match. Some great spots. Matt and Jeff jumping at the same time and landing on Bubba putting him through a table is great, especially with the camera angle as we don’t even see Jeff, he just flies across the screen and lands on Bubba. The spot with D-Von avoiding near death twice, resulting in both Hardy Boys putting themselves through tables is awesome. Tables, Ladders and Chairs are all used in this match too! Final spot is nice and memorable too, with Bubba falling through 2 tables then Jeff Swantoning D-Von through one for the win. It’s the first tag team tables match (first ever tables match in WWF then? Were there any singles ones before this?), and has a ton of unique spots, most of which were never replicated. Really helps the replay value of the match too imo.  ***3/4.

Match 3 (I guess?) – The Kat Vs Terri Vs Luna Vs Ivory Vs Jacqueline Vs B.B. Vs Mae Young – Miss Rumble Contest. A bunch of legends (and Tony Garea) are the judges. Lawler is the host. The Kat has the worst outfit by far. Bubble Wrap. Which looks terrible and isn’t revealing or anything haha. Terri looks great if you ignore her face. Ivory is nice. Jacky is alright. BB is hot. Luna can GTFO. Mae Young gets her tits out. Eeeewwww. She wins because all the judges are old people. DUD.

Match 4 – Chyna Vs Chris Jericho Vs Hardcore Holly – First ever triple threat match at a RR event! IC title on the line. Jericho & Chyna are currently co champs. This is kinda slow and not very good. Chyna sucks. Literally from what I hear (no way I’m watching her pornos lol, so I’ll take other people’s word). Anywho, the match is slow because she’s terrible and can’t really go at a fast pace. Plus most offence done to her or she does looks bad too. LOL at Holly having to take a Pedigree from her. At least he kicks out. Jericho wins. Didn’t care for this one. *.

Match 5 – The New Age Outlaws Vs APA – APA. Fuck YES. One of my all time favourite teams. NAO were awesome too. With the tag division hitting an all time high in 2000 (well, since the mid-late 80’s anyway), I just wish the NAO could have been around to join in (Billy got injured a few weeks after this). E&C, Hardys, Dudleys, T&A (LMFAO, wrote that as TNA first), 2 Cool and some others all did great, and Road Dogg/X-Pac were a good team but throw the NAO into that time too and yeah, could have been epic. This match is super shot but good GOD is it fun. FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN. APA just massacre the tag champs, with NAO taking some great bumps (BIlly’s bump from the Clothesline from Hell is probably the best thing he ever did). X-Pac interferes, kicks Bradshaw in the head and allows Billy to hit the Fameasser for the win. Under 3 minutes long, and might be the greatest match ever under 3 minutes lol. **.

Match 6 – Triple H Vs Cactus Jack – Fuck yes, time for the epic street fight over the title. Build up for this is just awesome. If anyone gets the chance to, go back and watch Raw and SD in 2000 to see how all this comes together. The SD where Mankind “transforms” into Cactus Jack is tremendous. The Raw before that which leads to Cactus returning is awesome. 2000 in general was just fucking awesome. I don’t think there was a single bad show all year. Even if a show didn’t have a “great” match on it, you’d damn sure get a handful of fun matches at the very least, along with some great promos and segments. Oh how I miss those days. Today we might get 1 good match per Raw and SD, then the rest is pure shite (which is even worse now Raw is 3 hours). RR Anthology edits haven’t bothered me much at all so far (except for the one edit of Bossman’s theme), but this event is where it gets bad. Different music for the opening video package. Different music for the build up video of this match, and different fucking music for Cactus Jack. The fuck? Plenty of blurring out the WWF logo too because it seems to be plastered EVERYWHERE at this event lol, but I can manage with that. It’s the audio edits that annoy me. Their choice in music the first time around was great and really helped MAKE those video packages. Replacing it with generic music is terrible. JR reminds me of my grandma at one point, when she tries to say someone’s name and runs through everyone else’s name in the family before getting to it. Manki…Mic… CACTUS JACK. DING DONG THE CHALLENGER MAY BE DEAD. One of the best street fights ever no doubt. Cactus is the MAN in it too. HHH may have been champion a couple of times by now. Feuded with Austin and McMahon in main events. But it was THIS match and MICK FOLEY who truly got him over as a main eventer. Looking back I’m not sure if we should be thanking him for that or not lol. Plenty of blood here, and not just for the sake of it. This has the story and HATE and buildup that a match should have for there to be the kind of blood and weapon shots used in it. Man, that gash in HHH’s leg is pretty sick. I do find it amusing that this match is NO DQ, absolutely anything goes… but a 2×4 in barbed wire is TOO MUCH DAMMIT. So much so they have to replace it with a fake one when it comes to HHH’s time to be hit with it LOL. Last year, the announce table broke far too early. This year, it barely even breaks! Repeat of last year with Foley getting handcuffed. Luckily HHH isn’t a cunt like Rock and doesn’t go to town on his head with a steel chair. Rock makes the save and a cop releases Cactus. PEDIGREE. KICK OUT. THUMBTACKS. PEDIGREE IN THE THUMBTACKS. Epic match. Pure awesomesauce. ****3/4.

Match 7 – 30 Man Royal Rumble Match – LOL, D-Lo and Grand Master Sexy as #1 and #2. Pretty piss poor haha. Tom is Gay. I don’t know who this Tom is, but he’s gay. Gotta love signs in the AE. PORK was my favourite. If you watch back a bunch of shows from the AE you’ll see it numerous times. KAI-EN-TAI. Not in the match, but they get eliminated anyway. A bunch of times. Taka’s face smashes on the floor at one point and he’s injured for a couple of months. Rikishi comes in and he becomes the main focus of the match for a while, eliminating the most guys this year. 2 Cool and Rikishi are left alone at one point and they dance, and fuck me it’s the most over thing ever. And then Rikishi throws his buddies out lol. Rikishi Vs Viscera still makes me mark out a little lol. Not as much as BOB FUCKING BACKLUND. Even my 11 year old self marked out for BOB back in the day lol. A group effort finally takes care of Rikishi and the ring starts to fill up. Some good, some meh guys. Better than the previous year that’s for sure. Road Dogg is awesome when he just lays down on the floor and holds onto the bottom rope hoping nobody bothers him. Fans get bored and chant “We want Rocky” for a good few minutes before he shows up. I don’t give a fuck. BIG SHOW gets a big reaction because they KNOW shit is about to go down. MEAN STREET POSSE. They eliminate Farooq, then come back out for Bradshaw but he takes care of them, only to have the Outlaws come from behind and eliminate him! Final Four are Kane, X-Pac, Show and Rock. X-Pac gets eliminated but the refs miss it, and he is able to eliminate KANE of all people before being eliminated a second time. Show takes a People’s Elbow and NO SELLS the fuck out of it (and why shouldn’t he? It’s a terrible move and nothing more than a basic elbow). AWESOME Chokeslam to Rock, then he throws him out! Rock holds on though, and despite the fact ROCKY’S FEET HIT THE GROUND FIRST, he’s given the win. Bah. Solid match. Gets a little dull in parts though, so certainly not one of the best. ***.

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