2002 Royal Rumble
Original theme was “cocky” by Kid Rock. But of course the Anthology set gives us some crappy generic shite in place of it.
Match 1 – The Dudley Boys Vs Tazz & Spike – Mmmmmm Stacy. LOL Tazz gets a back suplex/neckbreaker double team move done to him on the floor. Then Spoke gets it in the ring. He’s neck is fooked from being 3-D’d in the parking lot last week. Tazz it out on the outside. Instead of the back suplex/neckbreaker combo… why not a 3-D and get it over with? Because they wanna FUCK him up, that’s why! DICK MURDOCH MENTION. Spike takes one hell of a beating, but not for too long unfortunately. Tazz gets the tag and SUPLEXES THE SHIT out of The Dudley Boys. TAZZMISSION ON STACY. TAZZMISSION ON D-VON. Match is over. Well this was fun. Very short, but The Dudley’s put on a great beating on Spike in the time they got, then Tazz fucked shit up when he got in and managed to retain the tag titles. With more time this could have been pretty awesome. **3/4.
Match 2 – William Regal Vs Edge – A VERY underrated series of matches. They wrestle at Vengeance, her, then NWO and have 3 great, physical matches. Ref finds some brass knucks down Regal’s groin region. KNEE TREMBLER about a minute into the match. Not his finisher yet though, so Edge doesn’t sell it like death lol. I like how Edge goes after Regal’s nose early on, since he destroyed it with a DDT on a chair a while back. Regal has some of the most awesome suplexes ever that we don’t really ever see anyone else do, at least not in the likes of WWE and TNA. Maybe Japan. Man, if you don’t come out of this match loving Regal, then you suck! Or don’t like this kind of unique physical style. Either way you suck lol. DOUBLE ARM UNDERHOOK POWERBOMB. DDT ON THE APRON. Honestly don’t think Edge ever wrestled this physical before or after the series with Regal, which is a shame because he probably looked better in these matches than he did for the majority of his career imo. I wish Regal had more of a chance to work with upper mid-card/main event guys in his career. A 15 minute competitive match with Cena? Would probably be some of Cena’s best stuff. Match with Lesnar? Eddie Guerrero? UNDERTAKER? Man, the possibilities. Shame we didn’t get to see those. BREAK HIS NECK REGAL! Gotta love the fans. A second pair of knucks, and BAM, out goes Edge. NEW CHAMP. Great match. ***3/4.
Match 3 – Jazz Vs Trish Stratus – Women’s title. Trish has a bad hand. PURPLE PUPPIES. A BIG SPLASH RIGHT ON THE PUPRPLE PUPPIES. Another physical match, this time from the women! Jazz is one of the more TOUGH female wrestlers, so Trish has to take some hard shots and big bumps here, and she does it all well. Then Trish wins with a bulldog (ordinary one, she did the Stratusfaction one from the ropes earlier and Jazz kicked out). Short, but decent. **.
Match 4 – Ric Flair Vs Mr McMahon – Street fight between the two owners of the company. I remember this sucking. Hope I like it this time around. 1992 RR winner Vs 1999 RR winner! Both former WWF champions too! Flair hasn’t wrestled in nearly a year, and Vince has the POWER advantage allowing him to control the early stages. But it seems that Vince having the upper hand just motivates Flair to come back, until the power of Vince comes back into play. LMAO at Vince’s face while he’s getting chopped. Flair bleeds because, you know, he’s FLAIR. Vince is a great DICK with his beatdown on Flair, doing it in front of his family and shit. Then using the figure four too. PIPE. LOW BLOW. SHOT TO THE HEAD WITH A MONITOR. Love how they show the replay of the monitor shot with a second monitor that Flair grabs and throws down. Great shot. Vince is bleeding now, and he drags him over to his kids and gets them to take photos. Awesome. PIPE TO VINCE’S HEAD. FIGURE FOUR. FLAIR WINS. FLAIR WINS. This was great. Crazy to think that I didn’t like it before. ***1/4.
Match 5 – The Rock Vs Chris Jericho – First and ONLY time the Undisputed WWF Title was defended at the RR! I remember trying to watch this back when it happened, then again a couple of times when I bought the Anthology box set. I kept falling asleep legitimately and could never get through it. Not because it sucked, but because for some reason I always got tired when watching it (actually yawned while writing that LOL). Jericho tells Rock to bring it. Rock punches him in the face. LOL. Poor Jericho. His title run was just so bad. He was made to look like shit. The entire build up to this match was built around EVERYONE assuming that Rock was gonna win, so they would tell him they looked forward to facing him at WM when they won the RR. Then nobody saw him beating Austin at NWO. Then the HHH WM match was build around HHH and Stephanie, with Jericho being Steph’s bitch. ASK HIM. Jericho in control isn’t really interesting, but there is more back and forth stuff than a Jericho control segment anyway (because Jericho can’t look better than The Rock for too long…). Christian & Storm try to interfere, Rock takes them both out but walks into a Rock Bottom! People’s Elbow attempt from Jericho too, but Rock launches him out of the ring instead, and then BAM, Rock Bottom through the table. HE LOOKS LIKE THE SCORPION KING! Match just seemed to go on and on and on and on and was in finishing stretch mode for like half of it lol. Lots of good stuff, but not nearly as great as I remembered. ***1/2.
Match 6 – 30 Man Royal Rumble Match – One of the most star studded RR matches ever. Undertaker, Kane, HHH, Austin, Angle, Big Show, Mr Perfect, Booker T, RVD, Goldust etc. Some great talent, some great returns (Goldust and Perfect being the best, shame Perfect got fired a few months later), and some great moments. Rikishi is #1, and the returning Goldust is #2. Goldust might be the only person who wants to get a Stinkface. BOSSMAN. He returned not too long ago. Not really sure why. BRADSHAW. Love him just running over people with the Clothesline from Hell. STINKFACE TO BOSSMAN. I remember when he “threw up” on Michael Cole I think it was after taking one. He doesn’t throw up here, but he does end up being eliminated. Ring fills up a bit and OMG WHAT A CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL TO STORM. So yeah, ring fills up a little but everyone there are just jobbers for UNDERTAKER to dominate. Storm and Al Snow have a nice little battle on the apron. Undertaker as a heel was beyond EPIC in late 01/half of 02. One of my all time favourite runs of any wrestler ever. Matt and Jeff are the next 2 entrants, returning to action after Undertaker too them both out (and LITA too). He eliminates them both, but along with Lita they don’t leave and end up distracting the Dead Man enough for MAVEN to dropkick the Phenom out of the ring! Maven looks like he’s king of the world… then he realises just what he’s done and oh man… Undertaker KILLS that kid. Awesome brawl. Scotty 2 Hotty comes out during this, and gets a right hand from Undertaker that knocks him out for a while LOL. Match essentially starts again now as we go back to just 2 people and then slowly fill the ring up until Austin channels his 1997 self and dominates. Then HHH comes in and IT’S ON. They fight each other, then work together to eliminate anyone else who comes in. Stuff with Hurricane is hilarious. MR PERFECT. Love his theme. Guy in 2002 was still better than most of the roster. Once he gets in, the ring begins to fill up again rather than being eliminated one by one by Austin and HHH. Austin, HHH, Kane, Big Show, Perfect and Angle are all in the match at the same time at one point. Kane picks Show up, walks him to the ropes and dunks him out! Impressive elimination, but it took so much out of Kane that Angle hits a modified Angle Slam to eliminate him. Angle and HHH are the final 2, and HHH wins. Extremely predictable finish, but yeah, a great fucking match still. One of the best Rumbles ever. ****1/2.