Road to Royal Rumble – Royal Rumble Ramblings #24

Posted on: January 26th, 2013 by Big Cal

2011 Royal Rumble

Match 1 – Edge Vs Dolph Ziggler – WHC is on the line, and the SPEAR is banned. Oh hey, Cena’s dad is in the front row, just behind the commentators. Edge should slap him again. So, the show is kicking off with the WHC match. A sign of things to come. For WM. And next year’s RR. And then next year’s WM again. So Edge can’t use the spear in this match, and after the heard the announcement he made sure to hit it multiple times on the floor on SD just days before the PPV. Allows Edge to target the ribs of Dolph, Hopefully giving him enough of an advantage to counter the fact he can’t use his finisher. All that changes or course once Ziggler goes after Edge’s neck, something he’s had surgery on in the past (and would retire months later because of it), plus it works nicely with Ziggler’s 2 main finishers; Zig Zag and sleeper hold. Dolph is nice and aggressive going after the neck, but fuck he doesn’t half overuse the headlock, when I can’t help but think why isn’t he going for a sleeper instead? LMAO at Cole saying Edge side stepping a Stinger Splash attempt from Dolph was a new offensive move that Edge had to come up with since he can’t use the spear. THAT BAREBACK LIKE MANOEUVRE! No idea what Striker means half the time lol. Edge finally decides to bust out something special because he can’t use his Spear… and it’s none other than the EDUCATION! Always like that submission. It doesn’t get him the win though, and that’s pretty much the only move he busts out due to the fact his finisher is banned. So how does he end up winning the match? An Unprettier/Killswitch… after he lands a SPEAR. Bullshit. If you want a good example of a match where one of the participants can’t use his finisher, watch HBK Vs Orton Survivor Series 2007. THAT is how you do it. This was pretty meh overall. I always felt it was overrated, but I generally liked it anyway, until now. **1/2.

Match 2 – The Miz Vs Randy Orton – NO. I cannot sit through a terrible Miz title defence against the dull bastard that is Randy Orton post 2007.

Match 3 – Natalya Vs Michelle McCool Vs Layla Vs Eve – Originally set to be a handicap match for the divas title, with LayCool facing Natalya. The Anonymous GM (you know… Hornswoggle…) sends an email, and once Cole unwraps himself from the wires he gets caught up in, we find out it’s a 4 way instead. Eve wins the Divas title for the first time here. A week ago she lost it and left the company. BIG CAL SAD NOW. DOUBLE SHARPSHOOTER spot made me a little happy. Match was ok all things considered (divas match lol). *.

The Bella Twins are apologising to Bryan and Gail Kim for trying to date him while he was seeing Gail. Funnily enough Bryan is now dating a Bella twin.

Match 4 – 40 Man Royal Rumble Match – First and ONLY 40 man Rumble. #1 is none other than… CM PUNK. Before #2 can come out, THE CORRE show up to attack him, leading to Punk’s new Nexus to make the save. The Anonymous GM tells them all to fuck off or he’ll DQ them from the match. #2 finally comes out and it’s DANIEL BRYAN. FUCK YES. Justin Gabriel of the CORRE is #3 and gets thrown out pretty quickly. REGAL. European uppercut exchange with Bryan. Awesome. KICKS. Morrison does that rather AWESOME false elimination spot. You know the one. I remember Morrison being a favourite for this match, and hell, I even predicted him to win (didn’t want him to though). Then that spot happened and it was obvious he wasn’t winning. After all, would they really risk their eventual winner taking that spot? He could have slipped and eliminated himself lol. HUSKY HARRIS out to protect Punk from a 2 on 1 beatdown. Which results in Punk getting a face full of HUSKY ARSE. Chavo Jr shows up (with 40 guys in the match they needed more jobbers than usual), and attempts to get a reaction by stealing Eddie’s 3 Amigos move. He makes it to two before someone attacks him, no doubt feeling the disrespect towards Eddie. He keeps having to start again on different people because everyone keeps attacking him. MARK HENRY. Begins his awesome 2011 run by… eliminating Chavo Jr. Awesome! Calling Husky Harris “Husky” is probably the nicest thing Vince ever did. He looks more of a “Mantitsjigglyfat” Harris to me. 4 of the 5 Nexus guys end up in the ring at the same time, and clear the ring, then spend some time eliminating jobbers one at a time. Khali is the biggest threat and gets rid of HUSKY before MASON RYAN enters and throws out Khali. Booker T returns. Matt Striker IS MARKING OUT, BRO, while I don’t give a single FUCK. Nexus are clearly a force to be reckoned with. They’ve taken out everyone who got in the ring with them. Former world champs like Booker and Khali. Punk is on his way to winning the RR match and not one single person on their own can stop him… oh look it’s Cena. Bye Nexus. Bye Punk. We then get a “nexus” style Rumble control from Cena… and Hornswoggle. Urgh. KING SHEAMUS. #30 is Wade Barrett. The only time he’ll probably get that number… and it’s a 40 man RR. Suck it Wade. BIG DADDY COOL DIESEL. NOW I’M MARKING OUT, BRO! God, what a pop he gets. Miz is on commentary now while Alex Riley is in the Rumble. Seems they want to plant the seeds for their WM match. Except Riley accidentally gets eliminated, and you see Cena talking to a ref, who goes to talk to Miz. Meanwhile nobody acknowledges that Riley is gone. LOL. LMFAO at the attempted EPIC STAREDOWN between Cena and Orton. The crowd is dead silent, and not ONE single person gives any fucks. I burst out laughing watching this live, and it still makes me crack up. Del Rio and SANTINO are the final 2. They tease Santino winning. He doesn’t. Overall I really like this match. Shame we got that shit part with Cena killing Punk and Nexus. Aside from that it’s great. ****.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *