WV Royal Rumble Match Full:
2013 Royal Rumble Review
Match 1 – Alberto Del Rio Vs The Big Show. Del Rio won the WHC in a Last Man Standing Match. So the rematch is a Last Man Standing Match. Yeah ok. Del Rio is now the greatest thing of all time. That’s how WWE are making him out to be, anyway. Just so they can have another big Mexican star since Rey is borderline retired and Sin Cara sucks. I like how they build up Show’s knockout punch as being a move that can end the match at ANY TIME… so why doesn’t Show try to hit it from the get go? Low blow spot is pretty awesome, Show sells it like a man. That’s been hit in the crotch. That chokeslam through the table spot looked TERRIBLE. Was like Show couldn’t be arsed. Oh look yet another Barricade spot. Do they do this thing bi-monthly now? I’m sure this is the third time we’ve seen it since TLC. The spot at least helps build to the finish. Show is hurting, Del Rio gets the chance to injure Show’s arm, then while applying the arm breaker, Ricardo ties Show’s feet to the ropes with DUCT TAPE. Totally ripping off Cena/Batista lol. Show can’t escape because his arm hurts too much, which I liked. Del Rio wins. I enjoyed the finish, but everything before kinda sucked. Was slow and dull with only a couple of moments worth mentioning. *1/2.
Match 2 – Team Hell No Vs Team Rhodes Scholars – Tag titles time. How many times have we seen this match now? Add in singles matches between the two teams, and 6 mans on SD… urgh. I like all 4 guys, but they just don’t have THAT kind of chemistry. Doesn’t help that Rhodes Scholars can’t work a control segment to save their lives. They just kinda stop the opponent, tag out, stop, tag out, work in a couple of tag attempts, then hot tag and finish. That’s all we get here. Nothing worth seeing whatsoever. Commentary is AWESOME though. Nothing to do with the match lol, they are just insulting each other and having fun. *.
Match 3 – 30 Man Royal Rumble Match – #1 is Dolph of course, and #2? Chris Jericho! Total surprise for me, no idea if it leaked or not before hand because I am EXTRA careful about spoilers for the RR. Kofi Kingston is the HUMAN YO-YO. A shit nickname for a shit wrestler. Cody tossed 6 guys in the RR match last year. Santino comes it and throws everyone over the ropes, thinks he got them all over… but nope. They surround him so he gets his snake out… and pokes some people with it before being chopped, superkicked and eliminated. Fine comedy spot for the RR match. GOLDUST. What a pop for him! Awesome. Hope he stays around and finally gets that match with Cody. Needs to happen. Guy still looks great in the ring. Superstars has sucked for a while now, needs a grizzled old veteran to give people their best matches to date. Finlay just seems to be an agent now, throw him on Superstars too. A weekly Finlay and Goldust match, even on Superstars, would make me MARK THE FUCK OUT. Goldust stays in for a little while, then Cody eliminates him and he takes a great bump into the ring post. Definitely needs to be a match between them, Dustin will put his brother over like FUCK. LOL at Jericho sat waiting for a 619, even looking back to see where the fuck Rey was. Kofi gets thrown out, but lands on Tensai’s back and ends up on the announce table. Looks like he was supposed to jump to the ring apron… but probably wouldn’t have made it so he gets a chair and hops his way back… only to be eliminated straight away by Cody. AWESOME. Darren Young looks like he hurt his leg when he went over. He won’t be missed if he’s injured though. THE GODFATHER! Aaaand he’s gone straight away. LOL. Poor Rey, he really doesn’t have a good showing this year. Barrett of all people eliminate him too. He really should retire at WM this year. He was awesome for a decade in WWE, but he just hasn’t been the same since he last return. Bryan looks awesome when he enters. God he’s so fucking over too. I HOPE he gets a nice big push after he and Kane split. Speaking of, Kane comes in, Bryan eliminates him, then Bryan gets thrown out and Kane kidna catches him. They have an awkward moment, Bryan tells him to put him back in, Kane drops him instead lol. SEEDS PLANTED FOR BREAK UP. More on Raw the next night too. Probably end up with a blow off match at WM, but I really wish it would happen sooner so they (mainly Bryan) could so something more at WM. BO DALLAS HAS LASTED OVER 10 MINUTES SO FAR. And he’s made less of an impact than Santino did in 2009. BO DALLAS ELIMINATES WADE BARRETT. That made my night. Barrett fucking sucks and deserves to be eliminated by an NXT jobber. He also loses clean to Bo the next night on Raw. Awesome shit. Ziggler superkicks Jericho out. Jericho had a great performance, but ZIGGLER is the guy that fucking RULED this match. Wish he was at least the final guy to be thrown out. Instead the final 2 are Cena and Ryback. At least Cena won, he’s the least shitty option out of those two. Not happy still. Overall, a fun Rumble. Not the greatest, but I enjoyed it all the way through. ***1/4.
Match 4 – CM Punk Vs The Rock – Jericho had a GREAT performance in the RR match despite being gone for 6 months. He lasted nearly 50 minutes. Rock cuts a (shit) promo prior to his match and HE’S ALREADY BREATHING HEAVY. Not a good sign lol. Rock keeps trying to use the Spanish announce table. Punk keeps putting the cover back on it. HE’S A REAL HERO TO THE MEXICANS. When Rock does get to use it, the table breaks before Rock can hit a Rock Bottom and it looks to hurt Rock more than Punk. LOL. Heyman hits Rock from behind and I’m positive he screams “MOMMY!” when Rock turns around and goes after him. Plenty of support for PUNK, even against the self proclaimed great one. Smart stuff from Punk going after the mid section since THE SHIELD attacked him on SD and hit the triple powerbomb and Rock was bleeding internally. Punk hits a couple of high risk moves, and he plays up on the fact he recently had knee surgery, a nice little touch, and Rock at least does a nice job of attacking it when he gets the chance. A couple of nice sequences, one ending with Punk locking the Anaconda Vice in, and the other with Rock applying a Sharpshooter. After that, the match really begins to go downhill. Table spot is fucked up, Rock is about to his the single worst elbow in the world… lights go out, Shield attack Rock and it’s all done in a super shitty way. Punk wins, which was awesome, but with time left I knew something was going down. Vince restarts the match, random People’s Elbow, Rock… wins. Just like that. Talk about an absolutely HORRIBLE way for the huge title reign of Punk to end. It was just so… flat. Dull. Boring. Uninspiring. Punk looked terrible, Rock looked terrible, nobody benefited from the title change. Just shitty booking. And thus ends Punk’s great reign, and we’ll be lucky if Rock has more than 2 matches now (EC and WM) for his reign. I get that business wise leading into WM, Rock as champ will draw, but only for this short time. Cena is probably gonna beat him for the title… and then what? Is Cena suddenly gonna spike the ratings and increase buyrates because he beat The Rock? Extremely doubtful. Cena winning or losing doesn’t change ANYTHING anymore. Punk losing to Rock here doesn’t help him. Rock losing to Cena isn’t going to do anything. Cena beating Rock isn’t going to do anything. This whole situation is POINTLESS. Match is ok up until the lights going out shit. Then it dies. And brings the rest of the match down. **1/2.