WM 7 was… a great event. Some good matches, then plenty of fun matches that suffered from a lack of time due to 14 matches on the card. This year they’ve cut it down to 9 matches! Some great matches on paper, and more time given to them no doubt. Should be good!
Match 1 – El Matador Vs Shawn Michaels – The first singles match at WM for the self proclaimed “Mr WrestleMania” (huh, I say that like I don’t think it myself… how odd right?)! El Matador is of course Tito Santana. I have no idea why they changed his name or anything. Maybe to try and freshen him up since he’s been around for some time now. Fuck knows. Referee has a killer bowl cut. And by killer I mean he probably killed whoever gave it to him. So the match early on revolves around a headlock (a HBK match at WM starting with a headlock period? Now where have I seen that…). LMFAO Shawn keeps rolling Tito over into a pin attempt while he’s in the headlock, and at one point the REFEREE actually shoved him back over out of the pin and back into the headlock! HBK finally escapes the headlock, mounts a little offence on Santana and then… reverse chin lock! LOL. Tito escapes only to walk right into REVERSE CRECENT KICK. Not as catchy as Sweet Chin Music haha. SIDE SUPLEX ATTEMPT! Damn, poor HBK couldn’t get his finisher. LMAO. Times were certainly different. Superkick isn’t the finish, but oh shit, watch out for that Side Suplex! Finish was pretty shitty lol. Rest was good though. Nice start to HBK’s singles WM career. **1/2.
Match 2 – The Undertaker Vs Jake Roberts – A lot had changed since the last WrestleMania. The Undertaker was now a babyface, and also a former WWF Champion! The Undertaker and Jake had a short alliance, with The Undertaker helping Jake in his feud with The Ultimate Warrior. Eventually though, The Undertaker turned on Jake, helping out Randy Savage and Elizabeth when Jake was about to attack them. The pre-match promo by Jake was great, as he talked about his recent actions on the Funeral Parlour (The Undertaker & Paul Bearer’s “talk show” segment). Jake trapped The Undertaker’s hands in a coffin, and proceeded to DDT Paul Bearer, then hit The Undertaker in the back with a steel chair, not once but twice! However, The Undertaker did not go down, which would have any normal man worried. Jake, however, was not normal. He claimed that once he lands the DDT, not even The Undertaker can survive! A very different start to this WrestleMania match for The Undertaker. He begins by stalking his opponent, missing numerous attempts at grabbing Jake, and taking a lot of punches. All of which had no effect. Jake sends The Undertaker over the ropes, but he lands on his feet, drags Jake out and throws him into the ring post! Roberts is persistent though, and continues to dodge The Undertaker’s attacks and keeps throwing quick jabs at him. Throughout all of this, The Undertaker seemingly has just one direction; forward. No matter what Roberts does to him, he keeps moving forward, moving towards Jake, until he finally gets his hands on him (or rather hand on his neck ). The pop The Undertaker got last year as a heel when he landed his leaping lariat is nothing compared to the one he gets now as a face. A Tombstone looks to be next for Roberts, but he reverses it into a DDT! The Undertaker is OUT! Roberts takes his time, looking very pleased with himself, but The Undertaker SITS UP! Jake doesn’t waste any time, as he lands a second DDT! With The Undertaker down a second time, Jake thinks he is out for good, and goes after Paul Bearer! AGAIN The Undertaker sits up, and goes to the outside to save his manager. TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER ON THE FLOOR! By today’s standards, that’s pretty brutal, but for 1991, it was EPIC. And a little fun fact, the Tombstone was supposed to take place inside the ring, but Jake changed the finish as to make him seem “stronger” on his way out, as he wouldn’t be beaten with a finisher in the middle of the ring. The Undertaker drags a lifeless Jake back into the ring, and The Streak continues! Not exactly a technical classic, but the way both guys play to their characters is great. The Undertaker wants his hands on Jake for what he did to him and Paul at the Funeral Parlour, and Jake knows he needs to avoid The Undertaker and wear him down as much as possible so he can land the DDT. Speaking of the DDT… it might be a basic move these days, but back then, it was death. When Jake hit the DDT, a match was OVER. So for The Undertaker to sit up from not one, but TWO DDT’s, that was impressive as hell, and showed the world that The Undertaker was someone to watch. Certainly not one of his best WrestleMania matches, but probably a personal favourite of mine, since I love both guys, and felt they did an awesome job too. **.
Match 3 – Bret Hart Vs Rowdy Roddy Piper – IC title time! Piper won the belt from the Mountie at the RR after The Mountie cheated to win it from Bret while Bret had the flu or some shit. Piper’s first title in the WWF! Both are friends and babyfaces, but the title means everything to both men. Piper is known as the brawler, Bret the wrestler, so it was a surprise to see Piper WRESTLING in the early going rather than throwing potatoes! Piper proves that he isn’t just a brawler, and at the time same likely throwing Bret off his game as he wouldn’t have expected this out of the Hot Rod. But of course Bret is still the better “wrestler” at keeps managing to reverse Piper, and they do a real nice sequence where Bret has control of the arm and Piper is trying everything to right out of it but Bret just won’t let go. Things get aggressive and both men end up on the floor. Piper holds the ropes open for Bret, who is not very trusting of his “friend”, but goes through anyway. Piper seems to have cooled down and them BAM. Sucker punch. Piper is gonna do anything to keep this title, and I love it. Bret goes head first into the steel steps and blades, but does it in a way that he convinces even a doctor backstage that it was done the “hard way” as WWF had a no blood policy at the time and people blading would get a fine. PIPER UNLOADS ALL OVER BRET’S FACE. Do the commentators NOT hear themselves sometimes? People unload all over other people ALL THE TIME in wrestling lol. Seriously, I don’t think there is a single show in existence (WWF/E anyway), where someone isn’t unloading on someone else LOL. Big double clothesline and both men are down, but this gives Bret some time to recover and mount a comeback. Piper is great at countering the Sharpshooter and then the elbow from the ropes, as he shows that he knows Bret extremely well (pre-match promo was Piper talking about his history with Bret and the Hart family). Even with blood pouring down his face, Bret just isn’t staying down. The ref gets taken out, and Piper decides to go back to his old heelish ways to win, and brings in the ring bell. The fans are begging him not to use it, so Piper throws it away and goes to his trusty sleeper hold to win this one legit! Bret counters with a rollup, the ref counts the 3 and Bret regains the IC title! Great match. Piper struggling with his “dark side” so to speak was done really well. Liked this more than my previous watch. Not by too much, but enough to bump my rating a little at least. ***3/4.
LEX LUGER! The fuck is he doing here? He didn’t debut until the 1993 RR nearly a year later! He’s here for that Body Building promotion that Vince started up LMAO. He was going to be a guest poser or something at one of the events, but got in a car crash and when he recovered, the promotion was out of business. Ah well. I’m sure the XFL will do better…
Match 4 – The Big Bossman, Sgt Slaughter, Hacksaw Jim Duggan & Virgil Vs The Nasty Boys, The Mountie & Repo Man – Ray Combs (some TV show host back in the day… Family Fortunes or something, might be a different name in America?) is the guest ring announcer. He’s making a bunch of jokes at the expense of the heels, and gets jumped but he escapes just in time. He was pretty funny tbh. Some nice spots to begin the match, making use of having 4 guys on the teams. Hoping this doesn’t go long tbh. One too many HOOOOOOS for that man right there. Commentary continues to be awesome lol. Bossman completely misses a punch on Saggs from the apron, but Saggs is NASTY enough to sell it anyway lol. Poor Slaughter, main evented last year as Champion, now he’s in an 8 man tag. Repo man gets punched in the balls. Highlight of the night no doubt. Virgil gets all cocky and does some feet shuffling like he’s some real boxer, and gets clotheslined from behind by The Mountie. SERVES him right, don’t you think? Bossman literally just strolls into the ring at one point to catch The Mountie coming off the ropes before he can land on Virgil. Seriously, he just fucking strolls in, stands in front of Mountie, catches him and slams him down. Then we go to a finish and Virgil gets the win for his team. This was fun. Not too long or anything, I liked it. **.
Match 5 – Ric Flair Vs Randy Savage – Main event time for the WWF Title… oh wait, middle of the card. Never mind, should be good regardless! Didn’t Savage retire last year? I’d best knock some STARS off the Warrior/Savage match since he didn’t live up to his word (inside joke that about 10 people will get… and MAYBE 2 of them will read any of this lol). So Savage is out for REVENGE on Flair for talking shit about Liz and some other shizzle. But the title is on the line too, so what will he decide on in the end? Beating UP Flair, or simply BEATING Flair for the belt? I say, why not both? And I think Savage will agree with me! Heenan on commentary any time Flair is in the ring is just awesome. So Savage is HOT and wants to kill Flair, and as we all know, being blinded by hate can cause you to make mistakes, and Flair takes full advantage and goes to town on the Macho Man WOOOOOOOOO! Some awkward spots here than there, mainly the bit where Flair comes off the ropes and Savage catches him with a clothesline. Looked like Flair was expecting a shot to the stomach so he could do the old flip over when he lands spot. Instead he crashes head first into the forearm of Savage lol. Fans sound legit pissed when Flair kicks out too haha. Flair BLADES, which gets him a fine, unlike Bret who was convincing enough to avoid a fine lol. But I guess Flair didn’t care, he likes to get colour especially in big matches. And if Flair can’t bleed at WM in a WWF Title match, then where can he? FLYING ELBOW! This one is over… but no! Mr Perfect drags him out of the ring (how the ref didn’t see it I’ll never know), and Flair’s title is saved for the time being. PLASTIC KNUCKS! Right to the face. Flair may be bleeding, but between Mr Perfect, plastic knucks (supposed to be brass I guess?) and a steel chair, the advantage goes right back to the champ. SHANE MCMAHON APPEARENCE. I marked. He’s one of the people who follow Liz out to try and convince her to go back to the locker room. But she’s no help as Savage is stuck in a Figure Four lol. Savage rolls Flair up for the 3. New champ. Match is good. Isn’t great. Probably liked it a little less tbh lol. Just has a weird structure to me. Don’t know what it is though. Eh. Still good like I said. ***1/2.
Match 6 – Rick Martel Vs Tatanka – NO.
Match 7 – Money Incorporated Vs The Natural Disasters – Tag titles time. Loved me some Natural Disasters as a kid. Heenan’s jab at a women with a ND sign is hilarious. Money Inc get destroyed early on, as they couldn’t get past the strength and weight of their opponents. DiBiase gets stuck on the ropes and Typhoon runs at him… so DiBiase tried to pull the ropes down, but Typhoon isn’t able to fall over them at first. He ends up pretty much throwing himself over lol. Now Money Inc can work over Typhoon a little. Hot tag and Money Inc are on the ropes again. BIG SPLASH. But Typhoon isn’t legal, so Earthquake goes to hit his to finish the job. Instead Money Inc grab IRS and leave with the belts. Countout win for the Disasters. Eh. This kinda blew. DUD.
Match 8 – Owen Hart Vs The Skinner – Owen wins. DUD.
Match 9 – Hulk Hogan Vs Sid Justice – Main event time. Hulk’s “last match”. LOL. Sid eliminated Hogan FAIR AND SQUARE in the RR match in Jan. Hogan is a bitch and eliminated Sid after he was out of the match. And somehow Sid is the bad guy here. LOL. LMFAO Sid gets absolutely destroyed while Hogan’s music is still playing and he’s still technically doing his entrance. Poor guy. Pretty much the only thing this match has going for it is the crowd. Hogan/Warrior is more TECHNICALLY SOUND that this lol. CHOKESLAM. Is this the first chokeslam in WM history? Undertaker isn’t using it yet, so I think it might be. You know something? Scratch what I said before… SID is the great part of this match, not just the crowd. Sure, he sucks at like, doing moves, but his facials, taunting the crowd and talking shit to the camera is awesome as fuck. POWERBOMB TO HOGAN. NO SELL FROM HOGAN. LEG DROP TO SID. KICK OUT FROM SID. PAPA SHANGO SHOWS UP LATE. ULTIMATE WARRIOR RETURNS. Match is fun, nothing more really. **.