The first WWE event released on Bluray!
Match 1 – Finlay Vs John Bradshaw Layfield – Belfast Brawl to kick start WM, and who better to have a “fight” than 2 tough bastards who like to hit and be hit? Watching these two guy batter each other with weapons is soooo much fun. Finlay putting the cookie sheet in front of JBL’s face and punching it is a highlight only to be surpassed by JBL lobbing the trash can at Hornswoggle’s head! Suicide dive from Finlay right into a trash can lid is awesome too. Some great shots taken by both guys in this one. Just a super fun fight. LMAO at Finlay trying to grab the lid and isn’t able to. Takes him about 4 attempts to pick it up. JBL eventually wins, which was kinda odd given the feud (JBL beat the crap out of Hornswoggle, Finlay’s son, inside a steel cage), but ah well. FUN. ***.
Kim Kardashian is backstage talking about MITB because… I dunno. Had absolutely no idea who she was back in 2008. Now in 2013 I know that she is famous for… actually I still technically have no idea who she is. Bunch of perves talk about her arse a lot. And that’s it. Seriously, what does she do? Did she have some terrible one hit wonder songs that someone like me (brain cells that are still alive) would have avoided like the plague? Was she in one of those terrible reality shows like Big Brother, and just kept going even after winning/being evicted? WHAT DID SHE DO TO GET FAMOUS AND HOW DOES SHE KEEP BEING FAMOUS? WHY AREN’T I FAMOUS? MY ARSE IS BIG TOO DAMMIT.
Match 2 – John Morrison Vs Shelton Benjamin Vs CM Punk Vs Mr Kennedy Vs MVP Vs Carlito Vs Chris Jericho – First MITB was 6 guys. Second was 6 guys. Third was 8. Now 7. Uhhhh ok lol. Morrison does a moonsault off the ropes to the floor… while holding a ladder… and wow… I used to be really fucking impressed with that. Now? I didn’t give a fuck. I don’t know why. It just did NOTHING for me. Didn’t even look good lol. I popped for the sunset flip powerbomb suplex off the ladder at least! And kinda laughed at the ladder crumbling under Shelton when it wasn’t supposed to. Huh, there is a ladder set up against the ring apron and barricade like last year… except I have no idea how/when/why it was done. Other than to set up a spot that is likely gonna come of course. And there’s the spot. Shelton goes through it. LIKE SPIDERMAN! Yeah, because Spiderman often jumped from a rope and landed on a ladder. Hate that overused line in wrestling. MVP looks like he is about to win… until MATT HARDY makes his return and screws his former tag partner out of the win! Massive fucking pop for his return. Poor Punk in this match btw. He seems to take some really hard shots from the ladder throughout the match. But I’m sure he didn’t mind too much because he wins! Woo! Nice callback to the previous MITB match with Punk knocking Kennedy off the ladder as he’s about to win… just would have been nice had that been the finish. Instead Punk turns around and walks right into a Code Breaker. But then still wins anyway so woo! Match is good, but not awesome like I used to think. The first MITB match really is untouchable at this point. ***1/4.
Match 3 – Batista Vs Umaga – UMANGA! Raw Vs SD match for WM. This was the best they could come up with for Batista apparently. Nothing against Umaga, but he wasn’t exactly “great” nor did he have any “great” matches that I can think of atm (I’m not a fan of the LMS match with Cena remember). Batista on the other hand, while not being “great” on his own, had the incredible series with Undertaker in 07 and was really coming into his own finally. OOO OOOO OOOOMAGA chant is awesome. Of fuck, NERVE GRIP. Should be banned along with the Bear Hug. FUCK YOU NERVE GRIP. Match sucks. Batista Bomb is botched at the end. 1/2*.
Match 4 – Chavo Guerrero Jr Vs Kane – ECW title match! Kane won a battle royal on the pre-show to get this match. Kane shows up behind Chavo Jr, hits a chokeslam and wins the ECW title in 8 seconds! This is AWESOME. Can’t give it a DUD because any match where Chavo Jr gets fucking BURIED in 8 seconds in a title match at WM is fucking awesome. *.
Match 5 – Shawn Michaels Vs Ric Flair – Flair was inducted into the HOF the night before, and if he loses here, he must retire… and go wrestle somewhere else. Yeah, small print that we weren’t made aware of I guess haha. LEAVE THE MEMORIES ALONE! Plenty, and I do mean plenty, of good shit in this one. HBK was handpicked by Flair to be his WM, and quite possibly LAST, opponent, so HBK was conflicted yet at the same time honoured. Flair picked him because he wanted to test himself against one of the best ever in the Show Stopper, and for the first time in years Flair looks like the Flair of old, not old Flair. He showed signs back in 2003 in that WHC match with HHH, but since then he evolved into the role of “crazy old man Flair” which was awesome and stuck to the strengths he had left in his old age. But here he really did look like the Flair form the 80’s, albeit not quite as good haha. He pulls out moves we haven’t seen in years, and really tries to go all out to prove himself against a guy like Shawn Michaels. Shawn gets chance to hit Sweet Chin Music down the line, but hesitates, and ends up being locked in the Figure Four! Cool spot, and would be made better with how they follow up on it during the finish a little later. Shawn takes a crazy moonsault bump onto the announce table, which doesn’t break the way he wants and he ends up cracking his ribs or something, which prevents him from bridging out of a pin shortly after. People bitch because it was botched… but I don’t understand why. The guy just went ribs first for REAL into the table, and the bridge spot was either a “botch” that worked perfectly into the match… or great selling that again worked perfectly into the match. Win win imo. Flair gets superkicked in the face, but is able to kick out when his career is on the line. Shawn tunes up the band again, but Flair is barely able to get to his feet… but it was Flair playing possum, and once HBK comes over he gets a low blow for his troubles! The dirtiest player in the game is showing his true colours with everything on the line. He continues to cheat to escape the clutches of HBK, but none of it is enough to keep Shawn down. Another superkick and Flair still keeps going, so Shawn goes into the corner once more, but is again hesitant to do it. However Flair tells him to give him everything he’s got, as anything less would be an insult to the greatest of all time. I’M SORRY. I LOVE YOU. SWEET CHIN MUSIC. And the career of Ric Flair is over. A really good match still, that holds up well and everything, but despite me being a big Flair fan and considering him to be the greatest of all time… the emotion of this match lasted only for the first watch when I saw it live. After that; nothing. And I don’t really know why. SOME people out there actually lowered their rating of the match simply because Flair wrestled again in TNA… which is fucking retarded, but I lowered my rating simply after giving it another watch and not “feeling” it quite like before. It was the same here. Great match, but I don’t “feel” anything from it, which kinda sucks for me tbh. ***1/2.
Match 6 – Ashley & Maria Vs Melina & Beth Phoenix – NO.
Match 7 – Randy Orton Vs John Cena Vs Triple H – WWE Title match. Last year Cena got injured by Mr Kennedy, so they did a storyline with Orton taking him out (Orton was the challenger for the title at the time). At No Mercy, HHH and Orton wrestled for the vacant title. HHH won, then had to face Umaga later in the night, before defending against Orton in a Last Man Standing match where he lost it. Cena returned early in a huge surprise at the RR, won the match, and didn’t want to wait for WM to get back at Orton. They had an awesome, awesome match at No Way Out, where Orton got himself DQ’d, thus screwing Cena out of the title. And then somehow a triple threat match was made. I forget lol. Just watched the match and… well… I genuinely don’t know what to write about it. It wasn’t bad, far from it… but I don’t know what the hell to say. It was far more than just MOVES like the WM 22 triple threat was, but at the same time it lacked the story and emotion of the WM 20 triple threat. It’s in between them in that it has a little story (everyone has a history with each other) and its more than just moves, and the moves it does have are all very nicely done sequences… but I don’t know think it has anything that really needs to be written about it lol. Finish makes me laugh though. HHH gets punted in the head by Orton, who pins Cena to retain the belt after Cena took a Pedigree. The PUNT was very deadly at this time, having taken out guys the previous year and whatnot, and the commentators put it over at the end of the match too… yet HHH somehow manages to attempt to break up the pin and is able to sit up and stare at Orton while he has his hand raised in victory. Way to sell the move, Trips! LOL. ***1/4.
Match 8 – The Big Show Vs Floyd Mayweather – Hells yeah. I said during my WM 11 review that Bigelow/LT was only the second best celeb match at WM. Meet the first. Loved this feud. Show making a surprise return at NWO after taking a year off to train as a boxer and whatnot, looking healthier and fitter than ever, and attacking Rey was cool. They Mayweather jumped into the ring, smashed Big Show’s nose, and ran off into the crowd as Big Show charged after him. Was an incredible angle for sure. Got everyone talking. And even though Show was supposed to be the heel, Floyd is such an unlikeable guy on TV that the roles were reversed as far as the fans are concerned. This whole match is just worked perfectly. From the cat and mouse stuff, Floyd using his speed and quickness to get some shots in on Show, then Show finally getting his hands on him and sticking to basic stuff that still looks impressive coming from a guy his size, but can be done with a lot of safety to a guy who isn’t trained to be a wrestler. Immensely fun bout. Both guys are great in it. Floyd is cocky, thinking he can knock Show out with ease, while Show is determined to simply get his hands on this outsider and break him in half. Fans practically begging Show to beat the hell out of Mayweather is awesome too. Best celeb match at WM for sure, and probably the best celeb match ever. Go watch it. ***1/2.
Match 9 – The Undertaker Vs Edge – I had been looking forward to seeing Edge/Taker one on one for so damn long, and it was finally time. The legendary Phenom of WWE makes his way to the ring first, and comes out in attire similar to that of 1998. It was an awesome sight to see for such a huge ‘Taker fan/mark like myself. Will The Undertaker’s streak become 16-0 or 15-1? The outcome was pretty obvious, but like a lot of The Undertaker’s recent WrestleMania matches, there was always a chance his streak could come to an end, due to his opponent. Batista and Randy Orton were the most recent opponents that made me believe that they could beat him, while Kane (WM14) and Triple H were the only other 2 that come to mind when I think of guys that had a chance. Edge can now be added to that list. A great match. Both men put on a tremendous performance and have a match truly deserving of the main event of WrestleMania. The match starts off slow and is more methodical than ‘Taker’s last WrestleMania match. Edge goes after the back of the dead man and starts to wear him down. Every time The Undertaker attempts one of his signature moves, Edge either counters or kicks out! he longer the match goes, the faster the pace becomes and the better it gets. Edge continues to outdo the Phenom, countering the Tombstone and the Snake Eyes followed by the Boot (which he counters with a drop kick). The Undertaker, while getting out manoeuvred by Edge, is able to kick out of everything he receives. In what has become a tradition for big matches with The Undertaker in them, he hits the “Dead Man Dive”, which is always amazing to see for a man his size and age (yeah, that’s right, I named his dive! 😛 ). The referee gets knocked down towards the end, and Edge, as the opportunist he is, grabs a camera and nails ‘Taker with it. The Undertaker gets up though, and Tombstone’s Edge! Another referee comes running down the very long ramp way and into the ring to make a cover, but Edge manages to kick out! The end comes when Edge Spear’s ‘Taker, but he kicks out. He hits another Spear, but as they both fall, The Undertaker locks in his new submission hold! Edge holds on for as long as he can, but in the end he taps out. The Undertaker has just become the World Heavyweight Champion once again, and is now 16-0 at WrestleMania!!! The Undertaker may have left the winner, and the World Heavyweight Champion, but Edge left looking like a million bucks, as they say. It’s not often the loser of a match comes out looking so strong, but after his amazing performance in the match, countering The Undertaker’s moves and kicking out of everything, he looked stronger than ever. ****1/2.