Month: August 2011

Matt Hardy Vs JBL Vs Orlando Jordan Vs Chris Benoit – Smackdown February 10th 2006

The winner of this receives a US Title shot against Booker T. Here’s hoping that is isn’t Orlando Jobber/Pointless/Jackass/Stay in TNA so I never have to watch you wrestle again!

WWE put Booker on commentary WAY too much in early 06. The guy is fucking AWFUL. He makes Mike Adamle and Michael Cole sound like Gordan Solie or Lance Russell. Only funny thing he said was when he was mocking Orlando Jordan for always tapping out .

For the most of this match, its only really about JBL and Benoit, with Hardy and Jordan both being there to take some pretty stiff beatings. I want to write more about this, but fuck me, Booker T on commentary is killing it for me, and its not the same watching it with the sound down either lol.

Fuck it, I honestly am in no mood for talking about the match now. Booker has killed my interest in it. Its a decent match, anyway. Just hard to watch with the sound on. Stupid Booker C (the “c” standing for CUNT obviously).

Benoit wins. Who didn’t see that coming?

Rating: **

Rey Mysterio & Kurt Angle Vs Mark Henry & Randy Orton – Smackdown February 3rd 2006

Earlier in the night, Orton made the comments about Eddie being in hell, so you know that Rey is gonna want to kill him. Angle looks to start the match off against Orton, but tags in Mysterio who goes postal on Orton.

Nice callback spot from the RR match earlier in the week, as Mysterio sends Orton over the top rope in the same fashion that he won the match. Unfortunately for Mysterio, his emotion gets the better of him and Orton capitalises on a mistake, then literally picks up Rey, carries him over to his corner and tags in Henry so his can crush him lol.

LOL at Orton hitting a dropkick on Mysterio btw. You know how Orton can hit a pretty fucking awesome dropkick? Well, imagine that, only this time Orton has to drop down about a foot compared to normal .

Angle gets the hot tag, and his typical “wrestling machine” stuff actually works well here, as the hot tag usually consists of the fresh guy coming in and destroying the heels. A low blow from Henry puts a stop to Angle’s offence though, and he plays the FIP for a couple of minutes.

Rey gets a hot tag next, and continues to try and kill Orton, until he runs into a massive clothesline. Angle and Henry get involved, and as Angle is chasing Henry on the outside, Davari gets involved, and all 3 end up running through the crowd. Rey is left alone with Orton now, which is probably what he wants… until Orton pins him .

This is a nice solid tag contest, with Orton and Henry working well as a team and giving us the usual Southern Tag Formula. However, there is just nothing special or standout about it. Its your standard stuff. Doesn’t make it bad though, just doesn’t make it a must watch.

Rating: **

Chris Benoit Vs Finlay – US Title – Smackdown February 3rd 2006

I don’t think I have actually watched this one yet, even though I went through a ton of their matches a few months ago for the poll.

Booker is still hurt (I think), so Finlay substitutes him in this match, and well, that’s awesome.

Honestly not sure what to say about this match, that hasn’t already been said by me and everyone else when we have talked about their other matches lol. Its not that its the SAME match, but rather they wrestle the same style in all of their matches. Its stiff, gritty, brutal… and AWESOME. Its back and forth brutality from both men as they fight each other for control, and for the victory.

Benoit is in it for the title, Finlay is in it for… the fight lol. Shame it had to end with a DQ, but they were still given some time to beat the fuck out of each other before that happens .

Rating: **3/4

MNM Vs Mexicools – Tag Team Titles – Smackdown February 3rd 2006

Fast paced action here from the get go, with Mexicools flying around all over the ring taking down the champions. Always amazed me how high and far Super Crazy could jump, considering the guy is basically FAT lol.

MNM’s good teamwork comes into play, as Mercury moves Nitro out of the way at one point, forcing Psicosis to crash and burn in the corner, and so begins his FIP segment. Even Melina gets involved, giving Psicosis a leg scissors (lucky bastard lol) while he was laid out on the apron.

Super Crazy gets the hot tag, and comes flying into the ring to take out MNM, hitting some pretty unique and cool looking offence. Still amazed that the fat fuck can do half the stuff he does .

Melina is knocked off the apron at some point, and Nitro checks on her, taking off one of her boots because she hurt her already injured Ankle (Angle put her in the Ankle Lock a few weeks ago). When the ref gets distracted, she levels Super Crazy with the boot, and MNM retain the belts.

Its a fun 10 minute match, with your basic Southern Tag Formula. Mexicools fly around, MNM do a nice job of stopping them in their tracks, and the finish was ok. Nothing that you need to see though.

Rating: **

Royal Rumble Match January 29th 2006

Triple H was number 1, and Rey Mysterio was number 2. Cool to see these 2 in the ring together, as I can’t remember them ever having a match. Simon Dean comes out at number 3, but doesn’t last very long.

Psicosis is out next, and is soon eliminated by Mysterio. Also, it sounds like Michael Cole is getting a lisp…

Flair is number 5, and the fans go nuts. He goes right for Triple H, as they has just recently come off their feud. For a guy that lasted from number 3 in 1992, he doesn’t do well 14 years later as he is eliminated before the next entrant.

Things go from bad to worse for HHH, as The Big Show comes out! Not sure what happened to Rey, but he hasn’t been around since Psicosis was eliminated…

making his second RR match appearance, its The Coach! He attacks Show from behind, and gets pushed over the top ropes. Bye Coach! .

Lashley is next out, and he literally THROWS The Big Show. It wasn’t quite a back body drop, it was just Lashley using his power to launch Show in the air! Kane, Show’s tag team partner, comes out and Lashley doesn’t look happy. He and Kane go at it, and the fans chant “Lets go Kane”. Really nice belly to belly from Lashley to Kane, followed by a Dominator!

Sylvan comes out and is eliminated by Lashey, who turns around and gets a double chokeslam from Kane and The Big Show, then gets eliminated! Kane and Show then decide to fight each other. Both men are fighting by the ropes, and HHH runs over and throws them both out!

Mysterio seems to have woken up now, and works with Carlito before being knocked down again, leaving Carlito and Triple H to fight.

Number 12 is Chris Benoit, who enters and chops everyone in sight, as well as handing out some German Suplexes and a crossface! Booker T returns to action as he had a groin injury, and is eliminated in less than 20 seconds, less time than The Coach!

The ring starts to fill up, mostly with nobodies. Tatanka makes his WWE return, and the fans really seemed to like him. His popularity would go way down after this match though…

Pretty long boring part until RVD makes his return at number 20, and dominates everyone with mostly just kicks! He eliminates Animal, then gets attacked by Carlito. Triple H and Rey Mysterio, who entered 1 and 2 are still in, but Mysterio has pretty much been out of sight and mind for the most part, while Triple H always seems to be in the middle of the action.

Chavo Guerrero comes out to an ok pop and lots of Eddie chants. He does a very bad version of the Three Amigos, before being eliminated by Triple H when he went for a Frog Splash.

The ring has really filled up now, with only a couple of people been eliminated in the last 10 minutes or so. Lol, just as I wrote that, Tatanka got eliminated. Shut me up I guess…

The match has been a little boring again, but with HBK coming out at number 25, it picked up again. The announcers start talking about how impressive Trevor Murdoch is, and he gets eliminated by HBK. 1-1 between me and the announcers getting shut up .

Viscera comes out and dry humps a couple of guys before throwing out Matt Hardy. Michael Cole makes a comment about Viscera wearing purple before, which was quite clearly a Mabel comment lol.

Number 29 is a man making a short return: Goldust! Always cool to see him because he is weird as hell, and a good wrestler.

Number 30 in the 2006 RR match is none other than Randy Orton, and he eliminates Benoit in seconds! Viscera is then eliminated by Masters and Carlito! Wow, WWE must have heard what I said about Viscera getting eliminated last year. But wait, I only wrote than a few hours before writing this review, and I am writing this review years after it happened… weird! Lol.

Now that everyone has entered, the ring starts to empty fairly quickly. MNM told Mr McMahon earlier in the night that they would eliminated HBK for him, but he ends up throwing them out! Shelton attacks HBK from behind right after this, as he also told Vince he would eliminate Shawn. He doesn’t, and ends up getting a super kick out of the ring. This causes Vince to come out, and he looks pissed. Vince distracts HBK long enough for Shane McMahon to come from behind and throw out Michaels!

Carlito is next to go out, leaving us with the final four: RVD, Mysterio, Orton and HHH. RVD and Mysterio work together and hit some cool double team moves to HHH and Orton. RVD is eliminated when HHH throws Rey into him while he is on the top rope.

Orton and HHH try to work together to eliminate Mysterio, but HHH ends up getting eliminated, followed by Orton, and Rey Mysterio has won the Royal Rumble!

A pretty good match with plenty of action, but also a couple of dead spots. I also didn’t like the winner…

Rumble Match Rating: ***1/2

Kid Kash Vs Funaki Vs Jamie Noble Vs Nunzio Vs Vs Paul London Vs Gregory Helms – Crusierweight Title – Royal Rumble January 29th 2006

Right from the start we get numerous roll up attempts. Why? Because this is a 6 way tornado match and everyone is trying to sneak in a win as quick as possible. Makes sense .

Helms is a Raw star going into the match, but since its an open invitation match too, he is allowed to be in it. He recently dumped his Hurricane gimmick and instantly became awesome imo. The 5 other men don’t feel the same way though, as they gang up on the “outsider” and beat the crap out of him before going back to work on each other. A nice way to separate the Raw and SD guys right away, reminding us that there is a brand split after all. No doubt we will see more of this later in the night with the Royal Rumble match.

Speaking of the RR match, this one is looking very similar atm, with 6 guys in the ring just pounding each other. Its not too long though before we get some nice big, flashy moves. Normally I don’t like when guys are just throwing moves for the sake of it, but lets face it, other than wanting to win the CW title, what story is there for them to work with? That’s right, there isn’t one. All 6 guys want to do nothing other than WIN, and they will do whatever it takes to win, even if it means hitting their finisher on everyone one after the other in order to keep everyone down while he gets a pin on someone (this doesn’t happen, but you get what I mean ).

Sweet shooting star press to the outside onto a few guys by London. Nunzio even goes down without being hit with it! Now that’s what I call STAR POWER! Hahahahahahaha… shut up, I’m funny dammit!!!

Love the finish to the match, with Noble hitting some awesome looking offence on Funaki, only for Helms to sneak in, throw Noble out of the ring and finish off Funaki himself. This would be the start of a very long title reign for Helms!

Good stuff. Nice and fun, some great looking moves, and was all it needed to be given the fact it didn’t have some big feud going into it or anything. It was just 6 guys fighting for a title.

Rating: ***

Chris Benoit Vs Randy Orton – No Holds Barred – Smackdown January 27th 2006

*note: I refer to their Jan 13th match as taking place “last week” for some reason lol. Too lazy to change it*

A similar start to last week, with both men fighting like mad men to take control. Fucking loved Orton doing his best to avoid a German suplex near the start of the match too, he looked like he was legit fighting for his life lol (*insert Benoit is a murderer joke here*).

They eventually end up on the outside, and the “NHB” rules come into play a little here as Orton doesn’t think twice to use the announce table, and even make a pin on the floor (didn’t realise it was falls count anywhere too lol). He even uses the ropes for leverage inside the ring when he goes for another pin, which is completely legal.

Orton is the first to bring out a weapon (a lame trash can lid), and nails Benoit in the back with it. This just pisses him off, and Benoit slams the fuck out of Orton’s face using the announce table lol. Much like the trash can lid pissed Benoit off, the face smashing seemed to piss Orton off, and he brings the fight to Benoit again. Cool to see how the match when from a fight in terms of holds to gain control at the start of the match, to a fight where they will use anything they can get their hands on.

Its amazing how they work this match, making it similar to their previous match, but utilising the No Holds Barred rule just right so its more of a natural progression from last week rather than a hardcore match or something like that.

Loved the finishing stretch of this match, with Benoit making another pretty epic comeback like last week (last week was the big headbutt, this week was a back body drop on the concrete). All through the match Orton had been using a trash can lid to level Benoit in the head, so Benoit gets paypack by nailing Orton in the head with it, then locking in the Crossface to pick up the win, and some revenge.

I wouldn’t say this is better than last week, but its certainly right up there. They just do a fantastic job of taking what they started last week, and taking it to the next level with the stipulation. Another good candidate for my list.

Rating: ****1/4

Rey Mysterio Vs Mark Henry – Smackdown January 27th 2006

A rematch from last week that Rey apparently asked for, don’t think this is for the #1 contendership again though. I think its just about Rey proving to himself that he CAN beat Henry.

Shades of last week with Rey taking the hit and run approach, only to run into Henry and get knocked on his arse over and over again lol.

The straight right hand from Henry onto Rey who was sat on the top rope, which knocked him to the floor reminded me of something you would see in the Rey/Undertaker RR 2010 match lol. Looked like Rey’s head was about to come off.

This match is pretty similar to the week before, just not as impressive. It still managed to put over Henry as a super strong monster going into the RR title match though, while putting over Rey as a real fighter going into the RR Match.

Best part of this match was when Rey hid from Henry, then constantly jumped him from behind and hit the 619 using the ring post before going aerial attack crazy to put him down. He keeps hitting Henry from all directions, but eventually gets caught in a World’s Strongest Slam, and this one is over.

Yeah, similar to last week, just not as good. Last week really put over Henry, and while this match did too, it seemed to be more about Rey than anything else, which was a good thing going into the RR match.

Rating: **

Mark Henry Vs Rey Mysterio – Smackdown January 20th 2006

The winner of this faces Angle at the RR… I wonder who wins .

A Mark Henry match isn’t something I would typically watch, but since its against Rey, it has a good chance of being at least decent.

Rey tries to hit and run, but eventually Henry catches up to him, and the power of the self proclaimed World’s Strongest Man comes into play, BIG TIME.

Just like Finlay earlier in the night, the offence from Henry is basic and simple, but between Henry looking like he could punch a hole through your face, and Rey’s great selling, everything looks like it could end the match.

Rey keeps trying to use his speed to come back, but Henry cuts him off again and again with his power. One of the cut off spots is Henry hitting what looks like a Clothesline from Hell rather than a normal Clothesline, and fuck me, I thought Rey was dead afterwards lol.

Big men often get a bad name from the IWC, and while some of the complaints are well founded, if you can put them against someone like Rey, and they can structure the match well and stick to their strengths, you can get something good out of them. That is exactly what is happening here.

Mysterio wrestles a smart match too, as every time he gets the opportunity to come back, he goes right for the leg of Mark, chopping him down so Rey can hit some bigger moves. Everything here is so simple as I keep saying, but dammit, its just done so fucking well it doesn’t matter.

Finish for this is great too. Rey hits the Frog Splash after FINALLY getting the big man down, only for Henry to sit up with Rey still on his chest, roll backwards and get to his feet while STILL holding Rey, and then slamming him down to the mat with the World’s Strongest Slam. Looked cool as fuck, especially with a guy the size of Henry doing it.

Rating: ***1/4

Matt Hardy Vs Finlay – Smackdown January 20th 2006

Its the debut of a man who will no doubt give me plenty of entertainment while I sit through SD 06; Finlay! Andy has him as the WOTY, and given what I have seen, and everyone else on here has seen, he is definitely a good candidate, and it all starts here!

Seriously, they choose THIS match to have Michael Cole do a voice over to advertise the Australia Tour? How many times have they done that with a guy making his DEBUT? Cunts!

Anyway, Finlay impresses with his unique style, and Hardy turns it up a notch my taking risks to try and put Finlay away before he finds out just how tough the Irish Bastard really is. Finlay just beats the fuck out of Hardy, and a lot of his stuff is extremely simple but looks devastating as FUCK. Hard to know if its WWE’s editing team or the actual crowd, but people are reacting to Finlay more than they do for the 7 foot giants who debut and hit those big power moves.

When I first saw this, it was probably my first Finlay match. But watching it, it already felt like a pretty big mid card match. Its not your typical debut squash, its a pretty good back and forth battle, but Finlay still gets his stuff over really well. I gotta say, this is probably one of the better debuts… ever lol (in terms of a match, anyway). Of course, you probably couldn’t get a match like this out of a young, green kid making their debut .

The DQ finish is pretty much perfect in putting over Finlay’s character. He wants to fight, and really doesn’t give a fuck about his win/loss record unless a title is on the line. Plus, I hate when guys first come in and start winning all the time, as they always try and put over an undefeated streak when they stack up 3 or 4 wins lol.

The aftermath of the DQ is great too, with Finlay telling the ref that if he is going to get DQ’d, he’s going to do something WORTHY of a DQ in his mind lol.

Not sure I could truly explain how much I loved this match lol, but it does make me wonder how much MORE Andy loves it, and hell, probably even Viva and CF .

Rating: ***