No Way Out 2006

Oh hey, it’s the PPV that got me into Theory of a Deadman, thanks to their “Deadly Game” song used as the PPV theme .

Gregory Helms Vs Scotty 2 Hotty Vs Kid Kash Vs Psicosis Vs Super Crazy Vs Paul London Vs Nunzio Vs Brian Kendrick Vs Funaki – WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match

A 9 way CW title match. I’m predicting a spot-fest-mess .

Scotty 2 Hotty in a title match in 2006. Gotta love it .

Kid Kash goes for a moonsault… but Funaki is too far away. But the spot called for him to roll out of the way… and he ends up rolling TOWARDS where Kash is landing… but Kash was supposed to land on his feet, and nearly double stomped the fuck out of poor Funaki .

Helms has a big target on his back in this match, after claiming he was the best CW in the world and he could beat everyone. So he does his best to avoid everyone by staying on the outside so he can pick his spots.

Everyone gets their shit in, and it’s fun to watch I guess, not much more. Helms ends up taking a bunch of finishers from everyone as they try to get the win. Gotta love how he has to sell the WORM like death .

DEAD LEVEL~!

MOONSAULT~!

HELMS STEALS THE WIN~!

Like I said, it’s fun to watch.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

Booker T is trying to get out of his match with Benoit tonight. I wish he was successful tbh. I’d rather never see Booker wrestle again .

Kristal and her boobs gets interrupted by FINLAY who is looking for a fight. So he kidnaps Kristal and comes out to the ring! THONG~! Lashley, who ends up actually marrying Kristal I think, comes out to make the save! Finlay beats him up, and out comes JBL for his match with Lashley! JBL runs down in hopes of capitalising on Finlay’s beatdown, but Lashley fires back before he can get in the ring, and the match is gonna start with no advantage for JBL!

JBL Vs Bobby Lashley

JBL hits Lashley, who no sells it, and JBL just shouts DAMN as he knows he’s fucked. Lashley lays in some pretty good shots on Bradshaw. I was definitely a fan of Lashley back in the day. He had a ton of potential, and was put in the ring with a lot of veterans who could really help him out (mainly FINLAY), but I think WWE’s obsession with pushing certain people too fast screwed him up. I hope the same doesn’t happen to Roman Reigns .

The rookie makes a mistake, and JBL makes sure to take advantage with a boot to the fucking face . Time for the big Texan to beat up another rookie .

Michael Cole just had to use LEGOS as an example to explain something to Tazz…

BELLY TO BELLY OVERHEAD SUPLEX~!

BELLY TO BELLY OVERHEAD SUPLEX~!

BELLY TO BELLY OVERHEAD SUPLEX~!

SOMEHOW JBL IS BUSTED OPEN FROM THOSE BELLY TO BELLY OVERHEAD SUPLEXES~!

HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN?!?!

Lashley is about to get the win, until Finlay returns! Smashes Lashley in the throat with the Shillelagh, and JBL follows up with a CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL~!

THE STREAK IS OVER!!!

Pretty darn solid match .

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

TONIGHT’S SPECIAL GUEST… BATISTA! He had to forfeit the WHC in January after Mark Henry injured him at a house show. He’s not ready to return yet, but I guess they didn’t want fans to forget him .

a brunette women in the crowd has a t-shirt that says “I have a nightmare I was a blonde” . That’s awesome.

Orton is backstage with Angle of all people, saying that when Batista comes back, it won’t be Angle or Undertaker who is WHC, it’ll be HIM.

MNM Vs Matt Hardy & Tatanka

I think Melina’s entrance is definitely a contender for GOAT entrance. Between her and Undertaker, for VERY different reasons. One is just pure awesome and the other makes me feel tingly in my man parts. I’ll let you decide which is which .

So uhhh… how fucking RANDOM was Tatanka as Hardy’s partner lol? In fact how random was his return in general?

MNM seem to be caught off guard with Tatanka being Matt’s partner, and they just can’t get going to start with. Luckily their numbers game comes into play, and Melina is able to get involved to help out her boys.

Tazz on Melina’s scream: “It’s a little annoying, but it also turns me on…” .

Awesome spot where Nitro dives off the ropes and lands right into a killer clotheslines from Tatanka!

Fun finishing stretch, ending with Tatanka hitting a Samoan Drop at the same time Hardy hits a Twist of Fate, and the tag champs have been upset in this non title match!

Solid match. Tatanka looked pretty good.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

Booker T Vs Chris Benoit – WWE United States Championship Match

I’ve skipped all their other matches from 2005. People were angry at me . But they told me I should definitely skip this one. SO I’M GONNA WATCH IT .

Nah, I’m bluffing.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

Rey Mysterio Vs Randy Orton – Rey’s WrestleMania Title Opportunity On The Line

EDDIESPLOTATION~!

Despite the awful use of the Eddie Guerrero name in the build up for this… I am looking forward to the match because I’ve always loved it .

Orton is channelling his inner PRICK. DICK. CUNT. All of those things. He’s just a poopy head. And it’s fucking awesome. Mocking Rey, slapping him in the face, laughing at him, and beating the fuck out of him.

The fans actually start an RKO chant at one point, but he tells them to shut up because he doesn’t need their help, and they respond with a Randy Sucks chant .

Orton catches Rey coming off the apron, and swings him into the ring post. Rey sells the arm like death, and Orton wastes no time going after it.

His arm work is basic, but looks nasty and has those little touches like bending the fingers back that make me . I miss this Orton so damn much . I watched his match with Roman Reigns from SummerSlam a few hours before this, and it might as well have been Roman Reigns Vs Generic Rookie with a cool finisher. And NOTHING Orton has done so far is a big crazy move that would in ANY WAY risk his health. It’s all simple shit that anyone could do… yet for some reason nobody fucking does.

Great heel work by Orton + great comeback attempts and selling by Rey is pretty much a perfect formula for this match.

ORTON’S HEAD IS BLEEDING~! From a… ummm… neck breaker type move. Apparently. Unless he got busted open a few moves prior and the blood only just started appearing now .

619 is avoided, and Randy rolls up little Rey, grabs the ropes, and steals Rey’s WM title opportunity!!!

Orton is a grade A DICK. And he’s damn good at it. Rey is one of the best babyfaces you are likely to ever see. Awesome match.

Rating: ****
CAL SCALE – 5

Kurt Angle Vs The Undertaker – World Heavyweight Championship Match

For a VERY long time, I had this match right up there with the Taker/HBK HIAC as my favourite match ever. These days nothing really comes close to the HIAC for me, but I still adore this match and always get excited to see it!

Love how this one starts. Undertaker is the striker, and runs right at Kurt with a big boot, but Angle has the speed and wrestling ability to help him avoid shit like that. Angle applies a waist lock and SHOVES Undertaker, who retaliates by swinging his arm around to try and deck the Olympic Gold Medallist, who ducks and RUNS AWAY. Undertaker realises that he needs to change up his game plan if Angle can keep avoiding those big shots, so he decides to play the wrestling game with Angle!

The arm work Undertaker does in the beginning of a match to wear his opponents down and set them up for bigger stuff is always something I enjoy, but holy fuck it might be the best example of it right here. He looks to hit Angle a little harder and Angle is definitely putting it over as a real threat to him in the match.

GERMAN SUPLEX~! Undertaker got fucking LAUNCHED.

APRON LEG DROP~!

Angle knows he’s in trouble now and decides to target the legs of the Dead Man. Undertaker’s selling is awesome, and I love him being able to just swat Angle away with a HUGE right hand to gain some separation, but Angle is a wrestling machine and keeps coming back and attacking those legs anyway .

FIGURE FOUR ON THE RING POST~!

Undertaker again throws Angle off him, and is able to follow up this time with a few shots. He sets Kurt up for another apron leg drop, while still selling the leg like a fucking GOAT… but Angle counters the leg drop into a fucking ANKLE LOCK . Awesome spot!

Angle brutalises Undertaker with the Ankle Lock, holding on to it for a count of 7 before going back into the ring to break up the count… then goes back out and does the same thing again!

Undertaker reminds me a lot of Benoit in how even when getting beat on, he is always trying to get back on the attack, always fighting to try and escape the hold and turn it around on his opponent. One of my favourite things from both guys tbh!

TRIANGLE CHOKE~! Angle gets to the ropes though, but Undertaker is smart enough to hold on for the full 5 count before breaking! Now Angle is suffering, putting them potentially on even ground!

The Dead Man decides it’s time to END this one, and takes apart the announce table to put Angle through it! But he ends up getting distracted by the referee, who ends up running away in terror, and when he gets back to Angle, he walks right into an ANGLE SLAM thought the table!!!

The referee gets to 9, Undertaker is nowhere near the ring and… KURT ANGLE BREAKS THE COUNT! He doesn’t want to win a match like that. He wants to BEAT The Undertaker and prove he’s the fucking BEST.

Angle gets thrown into the ring steps, then bounces off them and ends up smashing himself throat first into a piece of the table Undertaker removed earlier .

TOP ROPE BELLY TO BELLY~!

CHOKESLAM COUNTERED INTO THE ANKLE LOCK~!

ANKLE LOCK COUNTERED INTO THE TRIANGLE CHOKE~!

TRIANGLE CHOKE COUNTERED INTO AN ANKLE LOCK~!

Great sequence of counters right there!

CHOKESLAM~! KICK OUT~!

LAST RIDE COUNTERED INTO THE ANKLE LOCK~!

ANGLE SLAM~! KICK OUT~!

Angle drops the straps… and Undertaker SITS UP .

Both men have renewed life and continue to battle head on!

TOMBSTONE ATTEMPT COUNTERED INTO A TOMBSTONE ATTEMPT FROM ANGLE COUNTERED INTO A TOMBSTONE ATTEMPT COUNTERED INTO THE ANKLE LOCK~!

Some AMAZING counters!

Undertaker again breaks free, this time by kicking the hands of Angle with his other leg to break the grip!

ANGLE SLAM~!

UNDERTAKER CATCHES ANGLE WITH A TRIANGLE CHOKE~!

Angle looks to be out of it, but musters up enough strength to roll Undertaker up while still in the hold! The referee counts to 3 and awards the match to Kurt Angle, even though he should have been checking Angle for a submission!

Incredible match still. Just incredible. I don’t think I can ever get bored of this one. Undertaker is awesome. Angle is awesome. Despite seemingly having a bunch of counters and finishers at the end, honestly I felt for the most part they were REALLY well done, and both men continued to sell the effects of them even while getting offence in themselves.

Rating: ****3/4
CAL SCALE – 8

Overall CAL SCALE – 15