WWE Royal Rumble 2011

There is nothing in wrestling that I look forward to than the Royal Rumble Match, and this year its no different!

Edge Vs Dolph Ziggler – World Heavyweight Championship

If Edge uses the spear, he is DQ’d and will lose the WHC. Michael Cole loves it because apparently Edge not being able to use the spear makes it an even playing field now, as the spear gave Edge an unfair advantage. Damn those finishing moves! So, based on that logic, shouldn’t Dolph’s Zig Zag or Sleeper be banned? Oh wait, I’m trying to bring logic into wrestling .

So pleased that Dolph is getting a PPV title shot, just a shame there was pretty much no chance of him leaving. Even bigger shame because that means Edge will remain champion. And Edge has been stale for as long as Cena now.

Early in the match Edge goes after the mid section/ribs of the challenger, which is smart given the fact Ziggler has to be hurting after the multiple spears on SD a few days earlier.

More smart wrestling, this time from Ziggler who focuses his attack on Edge’s neck, which works on a couple of levels. Firstly, Ziggler’s 2 main finishing moves (Zig Zag and Sleeper) both target the neck. And secondly, Edge was out for over a year in 2003/2004 with a broken neck, so there is a good chance its never been the same since. Of course, the commentators don’t bring this point up because, well, it happened more than a week ago.

Ziggler on offence here isn’t anything to write home about (but perfectly acceptable to write a blog about ), but at least it makes perfect sense and isn’t a bunch of random shit for no reason (speaking of… Hi Kurt Angle! ). While it makes sense, it just isn’t that engaging. I’m not bored, but at the same time I’m not in awe of anything being done. The crowd not exactly giving a shit doesn’t help the viewing either lol.

One of the things I’ve been very disappointed about in this match is how they didn’t play up the “can’t use the spear” stipulation. The announcers make a huge deal out of it the entire match, but Edge doesn’t do much in the match. It was awesome to see him pull out the Education submission that he hasn’t used since like, 2002, and then hitting the Killswitch (or is it back to Unprettier? Pretty sure Striker called it that, but it IS Striker after all), but other than that he didn’t make it seem like not being able to use the spear was anaything major. Guy should have watched HBK/Orton from Survivor Series 2007. THAT is how you work a match with your finisher taken away.

As they go into the finishing stretch, Vickie gets on the apron to help her man, and… Kelly Kelly comes out? She beats up Vickie and knocks her out. So… is she with Edge? Did Vickie do something to her? Did I miss something? Makes her seem like a hypocrite after all those times she complained to Drew McIntyre about his random outbursts of anger .

Edge then proceeds to make Ziggler’s finishers look like shit by kicking out of one, and countering the other after staying in the hold for a period of time. During all of this, the ref is knocked down, and Edge hits a spear. Ziggler perhaps oversells it, but it looks awesome, and tbh Edge’s spear is complete shit anyway so it NEEDS someone to sell it like that.

Just to finish Dolph off, he hits the Killswitch for the 3 count. Unfortunately that’s probably as close as Christian is going to come to winning a WHC match .

Match is solid, but doesn’t really go into a high gear like I thought it might. Plus they hardly played up on the “no spear” stipulation like I was hoping, and in the end it didn’t even matter because he still hit a spear.

Disappointing, but not horrible. Would have made a good TV match, but not what you SHOULD expect from a PPV match (though what you should expect and what we actually get these days on PPV are 2 completely different things).

Rating: **3/4

The Miz Vs Randy Orton – WWE Title

Lol, second year in a row that Miz has been the second match on the card defending a title (last year Vs MVP for the US title).

I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so disinterested in a WWE/World Champion like I have with The Miz. Edge currently comes close, but that’s it. I’d rather Kane and Cena were champions tbh.

As for Orton… well, the guy IS talented, but for some reason he is unable to show that talent while also being a face. Give me 04/07 Orton back please.

So, the match. Good GOD is this dull. Like, really fucking dull. Its mostly a brawl with a few chinlocks here and there by Miz… and neither guy is good at brawling (Orton’s punches are TERRIBLE), and Miz can’t work a hold to save his life. Man needs to watch some Arn Anderson or Jake Roberts. In face, everyone should. Now. Would be better than watching this boring arse match again.

Ha, even one of WWE’s most loyal fans, The Sign Guy, went to get a beer during this match. Wise choice.

The end for this match sucks. Not just because Miz retains the title, but because Punk costing Orton the title means its most likely gonna be Punk Vs Orton at WM, instead of Punk Vs Cena. Which leaves Cena to face someone else… like Miz. Urgh.

That’s it. Not much else to say about this one. Its boring. Neither guy looks that good. Finish worked with Miz’s whole “I’m fucking useless and can’t win a match myself” title gimmick, but it completely killed the WM card.

Rating: *1/2

Natalya Vs Layla Vs Michelle McCool Vs Eve – WWE Divas Title

Oh boy, instead of 3 divas in this match, we now get 4! If there is one thing that can make a wwe divas match better, its MORE participants!

Urgh.

Started off as a handicap match, but got changed to a 4 way with Eve. When Eve’s music hits I had no idea who the hell it was until she came out. That’s how much I care about the divas division.

Eve wins. Random. As far as diva matches go, it didn’t make me want to slit my wrists, so that’s something.

Rating: 1/2*

2011 Royal Rumble Match

A first for the RR this year… 40 participants instead of 30! Will more guys make it better though? Will it even matter that much? Time to find out!

CM Punk comes out at #1, but before #2 can come out, Wade Barrett and Corre show up to beat the hell out of him. Nexus come out, and they brawl. Nobody really cares. They finally stop, and everyone but Punk goes away.

Who is #2? Danile Bryan! Fuck yeah, Punk Vs Bryan!

Great to hear the fans reacting to Punk Vs Bryan, which makes a change from their general shittyness throughout the night.

OMG NUMBER 3 IS GABRIAL FROM TEH CORRE! CORRE VS NEXUS!!!

Yeah, nobody cares still. Thankfully Gabriel misses his delayed 450 splash and Bryan sends him packing.

The jobbers continue to come with Zach Ryder entering #4. Bryan takes care of him too. Go Bryan!

Regal is out at #5, and gets a nice pop and a Regal chant. About damn time! Regal in the same ring with Punk and Bryan is just awesome. He needs more matches with Bryan over the US title. Speaking of, we get a repeat from their match a month or so ago, as they trade European uppercuts. Bryan then proceeds to kick everyone in the head .

Awesome that Regal isn’t treated like Gabriel and Ryder, and actually stays in the match for a little while yet. More Regal = .

Damn, Regal is eliminated a few minutes later. Longer than Gabriel and Ryder, but not long enough. At least before he goes, he helps set up one of the best false eliminations in RR history. He shoves Morrison off the apron, and Morrison clings to the barricade, climbs up onto it, walks across to the steel steps and jumps onto them to get back in the ring. Fucking awesome. Not a fan of the guy but it was impressive as hell… plus I picked him to win the whole thing .

A few minutes later, Punk gets some help as Husky Harris shows up.

#10 is up next, and its… CHAVO! Bah. Waste of a spot. Chavo Guerrero: The only man to hit 11 suplexes in a row yet only do Three Amigos once. I miss Eddie .

The ring has filled up a bit now, and gets even fuller with Mark Henry, who does everyone a favour and eliminated Chavo.

Michael McGulluty… McGuuuillairty… Hennig shows up not too long after, followed by Otunga, and we now have 4 Nexus members in the match at the same time. This leads to a mass elimination with Nexus standing tall.

So, who is the first guy to take on the Nexus? Its… its… OMG ITS MATT HARDY! MATT HARDY IS BACK! Oh wait, its just Tyler Reks.

Guys come out, charge into the ring like retards, and get eliminated. Did nobody do their homework here? Bossman came out with just Rikishi in the ring in 2000 and he waited for someone else to come out. Unfortunately it was Test and Test didn’t like him, but Bossman didn’t get eliminated for quite a while still, something that probably wouldn’t have happened had he faced Rikishi alone!

The biggest threat to Nexus for quite some time is Khali, who takes everyone down and eliminates Harris, but the next entrant is Mason Ryan who manages to take care of the Punjabi Playboy.

Punk is awesome throughout all of this, acting so damn pleased when he and nexus are alone in the ring waiting for someone, and then being scared for his life when someone poses any kind of threat. Oh, and his “what’s up?” bit was great.

Booker T returns (hope its just for the one match) and starts picking everyone apart (while Hennig just stands around looking like a green rookie) before finally getting eliminated too. Take that Booker! Striker’s “I’m marking out, bro” comment was just horrible. Made him sound like a arse more than an excited fan.

So far this Rumble has been great. Like, really great. Nexus dominating has been awesome, but unfortunately the superman booking of John Cena ruins it all as he charges in and takes care of everyone but Punk. Yeah, leaving Punk alone with Cena was a good spot to do, but did Cena have to come in and do THAT straight away? Took momentum away from Nexus and made everyone who came before Cena that failed look like useless fucks.

Things get worse as some familiar Irish music plays… and Hornswoggle comes out instead of Finlay. BULL. SHIT. Oh, and then guess what? PUNK GETS ELIMINATED. Yey. Hornswoggle is still in, and Punk is gone.

As if Cena single handedly destroying Nexus wasn’t enough, they now decided that a Cena/Hornswoggle domination of the RR would be good. One man and a midget doing the job that 4 fully grown men were doing earlier.

Gotta admit though, I DID get a kick out of Heath Slater being dominated by a man and a midget. I hate Slater.

Oh, and I have just one thing to say: Cena and a Midget doing the 5 Knuckle Shuffle together. Its still PG, right?

Finally Sheamus manages to put a stop to Hornswoggle when he kicks him in the head and send him out of the rumble.

The ring keeps filling up, nothing amazing, but then… #32…

BIG DADDY MOTHERFUCKING COOL DIESEL. MARK. THE. FUCK. OUT. MOMENT. Amazing how dying his hair black makes him look just as young as he did in the 1994 RR lol. Also, Diesel gets the BIGGEST reaction of the night. Even Rey gets booed for 619’ing him. So fucking glad he showed up as Diesel too. Apparently he was supposed to be Diesel again in 2003 but didn’t want to dye his hair or something, so he just stayed as Nash. Always been a fan of the guy, but more so for his Diesel character because I grew up with the guy being Diesel, and he was probably my second favourite for a number of years.

Diesel lasts a few minutes, but gets eliminated by Barrett. Bah. At least the fans keep chanting his name because he’s awesome. Not awesome, however, is The Miz joining commentary while A-Ri joins the rumble.

Big Show comes out #35, and on his way to the ring stares down Nash who is making his way to the back. WM match between these two please.

, gotta love Barrett when Big Show is coming into the ring. Everyone still standing kinda stops and turn towards show… but Barrett has better ideas and smashes Riley’s head into the turnbuckle instead. Show might be a favourite to win, but they don’t need A-Ri to help them!

And A-Ri. What can we say about him. The guy BOTCHED his own elimination. And nobody seems to notice. Hell, I didn’t even notice until about 5 minutes later when the commentators mention it. Even funnier when you have MIZ talking about how great Riley is… only to realise he has gone.

Big Zeke is impressive when he shows up, single handedly eliminating The Big Show! Wouldn’t mind seeing those two go one on one as well.

Santino shows up, takes a shitty kick from Sheamus, then disappears under the bottom rope. I remember watching live and thinking that they probably forgot about the guy, but nope, he DOES return at the end!

Alberto is #37, and while I WANTED him to win, I didn’t think they would pull the trigger on him so soon. He doesn’t do much at first, just takes a beating from Orton who comes out next.

at Orton and Cena having not one, but TWO failed “epic stare downs” in this match. You can tell they were going for a “Hogan/warrior” or “Rock/Austin” moment where its just them left standing and the fans go apeshit because they want to see the top 2 babyfaces go at it. Of course, since we have seen it 1012398347892021893874889283213.2783 times already, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT.

Speaking of nobody giving a shit… Kane is #30. Disappointed that we didn’t get any Undertaker mind games or shit, instead Kane gets eliminated normally by Rey.

We finally get down to the final “4” with Cena, Orton, Barrett and Del Rio (and Santino outside somewhere). By this point I was half expecting Cena to win it again, but Miz does the only good thing he has ever done in his career by taking care of Cena.

In the end, its ALBERRRRRRRTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DEL RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO left standing after Barrett and Orton are gone! But wait… what about Santino?!?! He’s still alive! OMG COBRA! SANTINO! SANTINO! SANTINO! Nope. Del Rio eliminates him too.

AAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DEL RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAS WON… AGAIN!

Awesome. Wanted him to win, wasn’t sure he would, but so damn happy he did.

Overall, this was the most fun I’ve had watching wrestling since Undertaker/HBK WM 26. On a rewatch, it wasn’t quite as fun, but still very fun and enjoyable. A hell of a lot to like about it. There are though, a number of things to hate about this match. Cena’s booking against Nexus. Hornswoggle and Cena dominating for a while. No awesome surprises outside of Diesel (Booker doesn’t count because he isn’t good), as I was expecting a HHH return, something from The Undertaker (maybe similar to 2004), and possible an appearance from Jericho and Christian.

That being said, the positives FAR outweigh the negatives imo, and this still turns out to be one of the better RR matches. Amazing to think it could have been BETTER had some of the booking choices been different.

Rumble Match Rating: ****

Overall Show Rating: 4 out of 10

A pretty damn poor RR event unfortunately, but the Rumble match itself is enough reason to take a look at the PPV.