Category: Written Reviews

Stupid title, yes, but hey, I deal in crazy insane stupid posts so I’m just rolling with it!!!

So what DID happen on this day and when? Well, today is March 3rd, and on this day in 1997, Raw took place in Germany. For those knowledgeable wrestling fans you may remember this Raw as being the turning point in the WWF, as such low ratings finally forced Vince McMahon to hand over the reigns to Vince Russo and thus began the Attitude Era. But what a lot of people tend to forget about this show, is that despite the terribleness, there was one bright, shiny gem of a match that gets overlooked imo…

The British Bulldog Vs Owen Hart – European Championship Match

The fuck… HONKEY TONK MAN is on commentary? 

Davey and Owen are the tag champs together, but over the last couple of months they’ve been teasing a breakup, so it’ll be interesting to see how that plays out here as they both wrestle to become the FIRST EVER European Champion!!!

LOVE the back and forth exchanges early on in this one. They flip around and counter each other and kip up and all that shizzle. Works very well for this match imo as both are friend and tag partners and want to prove to the other that THEY are the better man by potentially showing the other one up.

POWERBOMB~! Bulldog countered a Hurricanrana attempt into a pretty swank BOMB. Sends Owen to the outside, then holds the ropes for Owen to get back in because they are currently still friends.

Bulldog starts to build momentum, using his POWER now to prevent Owen from out wrestling him. Owen cheats just a teeeeeeny tiny bit to escape a hold, then sents Bulldog out and does the same celebration that Bulldog did earlier! Awesome. Owen then holds the ropes for Bulldog again just like Bulldog did earlier. They seem to still be on the same page… until Owen fakes a knee injury and attacks Davey Boy!!! And now it’s Owen’s time to shine!!! 

What I love about this match is the fact that both men are HEELS, yet they are friends, family and tag team partners, so while they try to adhere to sportsmanship… they aren’t above cheating if it means winning. Because this match IS for the European title after all, and it’s the first NEW title created in the company since 1979 with the IC title!!! Which at least sort of explains why HTM would be on commentary given his history with the IC belt. That and he does a decent Stu Hart impression . Thankfully VINCE AND JR cover the match lol.

And on top of the HEEL schtick that they both try to “sneak” in, they put on a pretty swank WRESTLING match too.

TOMSBTONE POSITION COUNTERED INTO THE POWERSLAM!! OWEN KICKS OUT!!! Owen is too hurt to get back into the match though, and a rollup exchange ends with Bulldog becoming the first ever European Champion!!!

Yeah still love this a ton. Not as much as before, but atm I’m struggling to think of a better Raw match still, but mainly because I’m not as high on the main contenders in this category lol.

Rating: ****1/4

—————————————–

I wrote this in the early hours of the morning, because I don’t really sleep. And after sleeping and then thinking about it, plus a small conversation with someone else on the subject, there is a very good chance I wouldn’t still call this the greatest Raw match ever if I really put some effort into thinking about it lol. First let me say I am NOT that high on the infamous HHH/Austin Vs Benoit/Jericho tag from 01. It’s a match that usually always gets mentioned as being the greatest Raw match ever, and I just don’t like it THAT much. However matches like Cena/Punk from 2012, 123-Kid/Hart from 1994, numerous Shield tag bouts over the last year and a couple of others I’m likely forgetting, could all very well be in contention for greatest Raw match ever. One day maybe I’ll attempt such a gigantic project like this to truly find out which Raw match is the greatest for me, but until then this is certainly a major contender and I recommend everyone checks it out! The full Raw episode was released recently on the Raw 20th Anniversary 12 disc box set, and the match on it’s own was also released on the 15th Anniversary set, so it shouldn’t be hard to come by .

WWF SummerSlam 2001

 

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR~!

 

Lance Storm Vs Edge – WWF Intercontinental Championship Match

So this would be Storm’s first and ONLY singles match on PPV during his entire time in WWF!

If I could be serious for a minute… I wish Albert was still the IC champ. ALBERT in singles matches in PPV for the IC title would have been . Instead Edge ends up winning this (OMG SPOILER) and goes on to have a pretty shitty reign until Christian wins it and does the same until Edge wins it back and does the same until REGAL gets involved.

I *think* the fans chant “Lance Storm Sucks” but honestly it sounds like “Angle Sucks” instead .

Solid work on the mid-section by Mr Storm. Edge is selling it well for now. We shall see how he does towards the end of the match lol.

Huh, Storm seems to be focusing on the back of Edge now. Eh, all kinda the same. Still the middle of Edge’s body, and both sides getting attacked will help Storm with his HALF BOSTON CRAP submission.

CHRIS BENOIT MENTION~!

Nice counter by Edge hitting a powerslam off a Crossbody attempt. Was done in a way that was completely believable given where Storm has been working Edge over too. Was less power and catching storm and more of just using Storm’s momentum against him.

HALF BOSTON CRAB was applied awesomely. He slid under Edge and rolled into it .

SPEAR TO EDGE BY CHRISTIAN! SUPERKICK TO CHRISTIAN BY STORM! Storm covers Edge, but a SPEAR to injured mid-section still ain’t enough to put him away. DDT and Edge wins the belt.

Fun opener, and we gots a new IC champ. Decent match, but I’ve seen ***1/2 ratings for this over the years and I honestly don’t understand them lol.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 

Test cuts a pretty good promo. Love how he’s the heel because the WWF TURNED ON HIM essentially forcing him to join the Alliance. HE’S THE FECKING BABYFACE lol. Ah well.

Jericho and LILLIAN FAP FAP. Talking about STEPHANIE FAP FAP and all the times she’s had sex.

 

The APA & Spike Dudley Vs The Dudley Boys & Test

 APA on PPV.

Back suplex into a neckbreaker is busted out about 30 seconds into the match lol, and WELL DONE to the crowd for NOT screaming “THREEEEE DEEEEE” like retards.

 Dudleys and APA just beat the shit out of each other for the first few minutes. We definitely needed a big tag title match on PPV between those two teams during this time.

Spike tags in and I am disappointed… then he takes on EPIC flapjack onto the ropes and I end up smiling .

Table gets set up on the outside and Test teases launching Spike over the ropes though it . But Spike counters and nobody goes through it .

Hot tag to Bradshaw . Absolutely RUNS OVER Test . Sweet JEBUS at the big boot to D-Von!

BIG BRAWL BETWEEN EVERYONE . POWERBOMB TO TEST~!

Spike back in the ring and  he gets launched through the table anyway!!!!

CLOTHESLINE FROM MOTHERFUCKING HELL~!

Shane with a chair shot to Bradshaw! Test and The Dudleys get the win.

 So this is uber fun.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

SEEDS OF A CHRISTIAN HEEL TURN~!

SHAWN STASIAK~! He walks in on Debra. Sadly she is fully clothed and just randomly stood about. She tells him to go impressive Austin by KICKING SOME BUTT.

 

Tajiri Vs X-Pac – WWF Lightheavyweight & WCW Cruiserweight Championship Match

Title for title match .

TAJIRI .

X-PAC .

Always found it odd that they never put X-Pac in the Alliance. He was in WCW for a period, and he’s still getting treated as a heel despite being on Team WWF, and he wrestled other WWF guys on PPV during this time anyway lol.

You know that spot where someone uses the ropes to do a backflip out of an armlock or something? I hate it. Here however, they do it in the middle of the ring… with X-Pac grabbing hold of the REFEREE in place of the ropes!!! 

 X-Pac takes down Tajiri and slaps his head like a cocky cunt, then when he stand up to celebrate Tajiri sweeps his legs and does the same .

Tajiri’s nuts meet the ringpost, and X-Pac follows it up with a STIFF kick to his back which he’s still balls deep in the ring post .

SURFBOARD~! X-Pac doesn’t quite get the balance right and Tajiri starts falling to the side, so X-Pac just rolls through and goes right back into another surfboard! Looks damn impressive and was a pretty awesome save lol.

KICKS~!

 Tajiri is about to climb the ropes, and he screams something in JAPANESE~! and the fans just POP despite the fact they have no idea what he said . EVERYONE LOVE TAJIRI!!!

FUCK ME at that German. Eat you heart out, Angle! Hell, you too Benoit!

LOVE how these 2 are going ALL OUT yet still managing to sell the effects of what they are doing.

ALBERT~!

RED MIST TO ALBERT’S FACE~!

X-FACTOR~!

X-PAC WINS~!

 This rules the world. Gets a rating of SID.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

PERRY SATURN at WWF new York. Moppy has been kidnapped .

SETPHANIE FAP FAP FAP OH GOD A TIGHT PVC OUTFIT FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP. She motivates Rhyno.

 

Chris Jericho Vs Rhyno

 STEPHANIE AT RINGSIDE FOR THE MATCH FAP.

So Jericho has never beaten Rhyno, making Rhyno the PERFECT opponent for STEPHANIE to put against him.

 at STEPHANIE sneaking up on Jericho on the apron to prevent him from diving off the ropes. He kicks her away, but Rhyno had enough time to recover, so when Jericho DOES make the dive…

GORE! GORE! GOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEE!!!! Rhyno catches Jericho coming off the top rope to the outside with a GORE!!!!!  FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP .

Put this isn’t falls count anywhere, so by the time Rhyno gets Jericho in the ring he is able to kick out at 2. Then gets SLAPPED TO HELL by STEPHANIE.

Rhyno knows the GORE fucked up Jericho’s ribs, and seeing a guy with legs that THICK apply a body scissors prevents that typical rest hold from being boring because damn, that GOTTA hurt.

AEROPLANE SPIN~!

FLYING RHYNO~!

Good GOD at that Lionsault. It was… kinda botched but Rhyno was in a good position to still catch Rhyno and my god it actually looked AWESOME. Legitimately AWESOME.

Jericho is building momentum and nearly gets the win, but STEPHANIE distracts the referee, and Jericho KISSES HER. Lucky bastard!

LIONSAULT~! RYHNO KICKS OUT!!!

RHYNO IS THE CURE OF JERICHOHOLISM~!

What a Spinebusters by Rhyno! Walls of Jericho used on Jericho! Everything Rhyno does hurts those ribs of Jericho more and more!

A belly to belly from the MAN BEAST, and he’s ready for another GORE! Jericho moves, locks in the Walls, and Rhyno is defeated.

Kinda wish Rhyno had won lol, but damn this match is tremendous!!!

Rating: ****
CAL SCALE – 5

 

Regal backstage with The Rock. Regal wants to see if Rock is well enough to wrestle tonight. Unfortunately he is.  at Stasiak running at them in the middle of the whole thing, only to miss and smash into a metal shutter.

 

Rob Van Dam Vs Jeff Hardy – WWF Hardcore Championship Ladder Match

Urgh. I remember this being a pile of garbage.

For 2 guys who are as athletically gifted, they sure do fuck up a bunch of basic flips in the early going .

“FUCK HIM UP RVD. FUCK HIM UP. FUCK HIM UP!”  fans are awesome.

What the feck was that? RVD is pissing about with a ladder, Hardy is behind him and instead of say, kicking him in the back of the head… Jeff decides to dive BACK FIRST onto the ladder to knock it back into RVD. HURTING HIMSELF. Why? Made Jeff look like a fucking retard. Then again I suppose that’s his gimmick, right?

A couple of cool spots involving the ladder kinda make up for some of the utter DUMB SHIT in the early going lol. And everything comes from RVD. I wish this had just been a normal Hardcore title match like Invasion. That was awesome.

 RVD launches himself off the ropes right into Jeff who is trying to climb the ladder. Looked more like a crazy collision rather than lightly tapping him with a kick or something like we tend to see in ladder matches that replicate that spot.

And then RVD does dumb shit. He puts the ladder ON TOP of Jeff then does a moonsault onto it. HURTING HIMSELF. Moron. PUT THE LADDER UNDER JEFF AND DO THE SAME MOVE. IT’LL HURT HIM AND NOT YOU.

 Hardy tries to do the same as RVD did earlier by coming off the ropes and knocking Van Dam off the ladder. Was a shitty dropkick spot like I’m used to seeing… except it ended with RVD LANDING ON JEFF’S LEGS and fucking him up .

DAMN. Awesome DDT. RVD knows how to take a DDT.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present to you exhibit a, which demonstrates perhaps the world’s DUMBEST spot ever:

FACEPALM~!

RVD wins the title. Hate this. Even the couple of good spots can’t help it. Just pure SHITE.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Shane O’Mac made Booker T some BOOK ENDS out of the announce table that Booker T BOOK ENDED Rock through on Smackdown.

 

The Undertaker & Kane Vs DDP & Kanyon – WWF & WCW Tag Team Championship Cage Match

 YEAH I’M EXCITED ABOUT WATCHING THIS MATCH SO WHAT?

Gotta feel sorry for Teddy Long. He’s stuck on the OUTSIDE for this tag match .

DDP and Kanyon try to escape the cage the second the bell rings. Nah. They gotta take a BEATING before they can leave this cage.

UNDERTAKER . He’s getting his face CAVED IN by Page and you can hear him scream “COME ON!” to try and get Page to give him his absolute best. Then Undertaker absorbs the shots and goes to town on the man who stalked his wife.

LOW BLOW. And Page actually gains some offence in on the Dead Man! Then gets a boot to the face .

Kanyon does a good job both taking a beating from Kane and even getting some offence in on the Big Red Machine. He takes on hell of a bump from a powerbomb position into the corner of the cage.

Oh man, Undertaker nearly puts DDP THROUGH THE FUCKING CAGE with a couple of running splashes and then a big boot. Then he goes to the well once too often and KANYON comes off the ropes and shoulder tackles Undertaker right to hell! Kanyon continues to take on BOD ALONE and sends Kane head first to the mat with his knee right in the back of his head!

 STEREO SIT UP~!

Undertaker then tells Kane to LET KANYON GO. So Kanyon escapes the cage… LEAVING DDP ALONE WITH UNDERTAKER AND KANE! AND A FUCKING CHAIN!!!

Now it’s time for Page to pay!!! He gets absolutely annihilated by the Brothers of Destruction, as you might expect

 at Undertaker playing mindgames with Page. Tells him he can escape the cage, on the condition that he doesn’t come near Sara again. Page thinks he’s caught a break, gets half way over the cage and then Undertaker drags him back in and kills him .

 at Kane looking all bad ass just sitting in the corner of the cage watching Page get killed.

So this is a squash match essentially. And it’s fucking AWESOME. It was EXACTLY how this match needed to go down. DDP and Kanyon had fucked with Undertaker’s family. His WIFE. And now they were stuck inside a STEEL CAGE with two SEVEN FOOT MONSTERS. Who the FUCK expected them to have a competitive match?

Loved every minute of this.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

 Stasiak again tries to take Rock out only to fly into an object. He makes Rock segments interesting!

 

Steve Austin Vs Kurt Angle – WWF Championship Match

 FAP FAP FAP 

Talk about a big fight feel! Angle stood at the bottom of the ramp, Austin at the top, both men just staring at each other, then making a move, meeting in the middle to exchange blows!

Austin works over the leg and ankle of Angle early on, due to him trying to break it during the build up for this match.  at Angle using his leg strength to counter it and go for an Ankle Lock, but as he turns out of the leg hold Austin has on you can hear him SCREAM IN PAIN as he does it. Just one of those little things that can really make a difference.

The multiple German Suplex spot is  too. Austin makes Angle really work to hit them all. Angle goes for an Angle Slam and damn, Austin’s survival instant or something kicks in and he does an awesome sequence of a thumb to the eye then a knee to the back of the ribs which sends Angle face first into the second turnbuckle lol.

STUNNER~! Kinda comes out of nowhere and pretty early on into the match, but adds a lot to the story of the match with Angle kicking out and Austin wondering what he has to do to win. He’s fucked off that Angle kicked out and levels Angle with ANOTHER Stunner, but Angle falls to the outside. That shit ain’t gonna do. How DARE Angle not only kick out of a Stunner, but take another and FALL OUT OF THE RING? That bastard should have taken the Stunner and stayed in the ring so Austin could PIN him. How does Austin react? With a number of BRUTAL ring post shots, sending Angle face first into the ring post again and again and again, busting the Olympic Hero wide open! Austin is a man possessed!

Angle is getting his arse absolutely kicked. Great selling of all the ring post shots followed by the right hands from Austin. He looks totally OUT OF IT. Austin finally throws him into the ring…1…2… KICK OUT! Angle is not giving up!

Austin is even more pissed now. Back to the outside and MORE ring post shots to Angle’s head. He’s bleeding, he’s battered but by god he isn’t BEATEN yet.

Oh man . Angle is bleeding like mad but still locks in the Ankle Lock while Austin is on the barricade. He looks like a fucking LUNATIC in the best way possible. Then he fucking DRAGS Austin into the ring by the Ankle to apply the hold there, and Austin is desperately trying to hold on to everything to prevent going inside the ring where he can LOSE the WWF title should he tap! 

MOONSAULT~! ANGLE LANDED THE MOONSAULT! He’s pulling out everything here to bring back the WWF title to its rightful company!

MILLION DOLLAR DREAM~! Angle isn’t the only one pulling out everything in this match! He’s already survived 2 Stunners and multiple head shots to the ring post, so Austin needs to dig deep into the well and drag out whatever he can. SURVIVOR SERIES 1996 FINISH TEASE~!

LOVE how Angle escapes the hold too. The arm drops twice, then the third time he manages to hand on and JUST gets enough energy back to make a beeline to the ropes and send Austin to the outside! None of this standing up and punching bullshit then making a comeback. He literally used EVERYTHING HE HAD to just get to the ropes and send Austin out.

STUNNER~! KICK OUT!!! Austin waits for him to stand up again, slaps him in the face and tries again, only for Angle to counter into an Angle Slam!!! 

Angle is bleeding, he’s kicked out of numerous Stunners and he’s STILL coming back! Austin knows he CANNOT beat Angle now, so he decks Earl Hebner! Another referee comes out, and Austin hits a low blow on Angle then Stuns the new referee! He just wants, no, he NEEDS this match to be over dammit! Tim White shows up and ends up getting decked with the title belt. ANGLE SLAM! Austin is OUT! Nick Patrick runs down… and rings the bell! Austin has been DQ’d!

 This match is just perfect. Even the DQ finish is incredible. Austin COULDN’T BEAT Angle clean, so he did whatever he could to simple end the match while still keeping his title. Both men were INCREDIBLE in this match. Everything about it is INCREDIBLE. I’m doing it.

Rating: *****
CAL SCALE – 9

 

Booker T Vs The Rock – WCW Championship Match

Urgh. We got from an incredible Austin/Angle match for the WWF Title… to Booker T Vs The Rock. What a load of bull.

 at the poor camera man getting wiped out when Rock decides “fuck Booker T I’m going after Shane”.

Rock hits a BLATANT low blow on Booker T… and the WCW ref does nothing? Kinda odd given what just happened in the previous match.

So like the handicap match a month later, SHANE is the best part of this. And he ain’t even IN THE MATCH. Distracting the referee, getting knocked on his arse by Rock and STILL counting along with the referee when Booker goes for a cover, then manipulating the referee to concentrate on a steel chair while he blasts Rock in the head with the WCW title. Oh, and then he takes one EPIC Clothesline from Hell after the APA come down to get some revenge for earlier!!! And if that wasn’t enough he even takes a ROCK BOTTOM on the floor!

At some point Rock wins the title. Whatever. Match is a giant load of bugger all outside of SHANE.

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 23

WWF Backlash 2001

He who has the gold, has the power. He who has the power, has the gold. No power, no gold. Know power, know gold.

 

The Dudley Boys Vs X-Factor

6 man tag here, with Spike joining his brothers and ALBERT actually being able to join his team mates for a change. He normally has to stand on the outside.

Spike knows his place early on in this match; he gets launched over the ropes onto X-Factor lol. He’s only good when he’s being used as a weapon .

Poor Justin ends up going crotch first into the ring post. I like that once Justin gets the chance, he gets X-Pac to help him crotch D-Von on the ring post too as revenge. REVENGE SPOT~!

Damn, Albert’s stalling double arm underhook suplex is amazing. And D-Von ain’t no little guy either.

X-Pac needed to kick more. He throws some awesome kicks, ones that look STIFF AS FUCK too. I still remember the Benoit one from NWO lol.

Hot tag to Bubba isn’t as hot as you’d hope, which is a shame. I mainly think it was because the match didn’t get much time and X-Factor didn’t have the chance to build much heat. Disappointing because I really think they could have done so much more had they been given the chance.

Nice finish at least. RUNNING SPLASH in the corner from Albert followed by DOUBLE SUPER KICKS.

Fun opener, but that’s about it unfortunately. Not sure why this was a 6 man… Spike was utterly pointless. They didn’t have enough time to really make use of 3 people on the babyface team (hot tags, run ins etc).

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

THE DUCHESS OF QUEENSBERRY~!

Lillian walks in on Angle polishing his medals.

 

Rhyno Vs Raven – WWF Hardcore Championship Match

RHYNO 

HARDCORE TITLE MATCH 

Oh and Raven too. Whatevers.

RUNNING TRASH CAN TO THE HEAD~!

These two just start laying into each other from the get go. Oh man I just wanna throw a million stars at it already lol.

Rhyno runs up the steel steps, dives off them and Raven MOVES out of the way and Rhyno crashes into a steel chair, which just CRUMBLES under him . Then Raven runs around and jumps off the steps himself, this time with success!

TROLLEY~! Seeing one just makes me sad because I no longer have a job . Plus, HOW DARE THEY MISTREAT A TROLLEY LIKE THAT!

God I love seeing guys get hit in the head with flimsy metal objects .

Sweet Jebus this is too fun. TOO MUCH FUN. FUN OVERLOAD. 

GORE! GORE! GORE! RIGHT INTO THE FUCKING TROLLEY!!!

THE KITCHEN SINK~! About damn time someone used it!

My god that was an epic near fall lol.

GORE! GORE! GORE! THIS TIME TO RAVEN!

Rhyno keeps his title.

.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

William Regal Vs Chris Jericho – Duchess of Queensberry Rules Match

The Duchess of Drag Queensberry Rules are unknown to everyone but Regal, but since I’ve seen this match before, allow me to explain: Regal has to win. Aaaand those are the rules! 

Great little spot at the start with them doing a tie up and going into the corner, forcing the referee to get between them. Regal gets a cheap shot in with a forearm to the face, so Jericho just blasts him right back.

EUROPEAN UPPERCUTS .

LIONSAULT~! THE BELL RINGS~! Apparently the time limit for ROUND ONE has expired . Regal rolls up Jericho to try and get a cheap win but fails.

Fuck me, that SUPLEX. Love, LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE that Half Nelson suplex.

REGAL STRETCH~! Which makes no sense if you’ve already seen the match .

WALLS OF JERICHO~! REGAL TAPS! But wait, no! You can’t win by submission! 

Jericho is PISSED, so he looks to go after the Duchess, and ends up getting smacked in the face with a sceptre!!! Of course, NO DQ’S in this match… now!

Ha, I love how Jericho looks to go for the Walls, then realises there is no submissions here AND no DQ so he just boots Regal in the balls instead!

And then this happens:

Walls of Jericho on the Duchess! Regal beats the fuck out of Jericho with a chair and gets the win.

Match is… odd. It’s entertaining and the Duchess stuff makes it interesting lol, but at the same time it’s a weird match. It’s good but not quite good. Or something. You know I’m not sure myself .

Rating: **1/4
CAL SCALE – 1

 

Chris Benoit Vs Kurt Angle – 30 Minute Ultimate Submission Match

I’m actually excited to watch this match! Always been a fan of it, even after going way down on the likes of their RR 03 match.

First few minutes are . It’s all on the mat with both guys trying to get control and to lock in their signature submission hold. Great counter wrestling from both as they go a great job of not only avoiding certain holds but also leveraging themselves with the counter into a position to potentially lock in a submission too.

CROSSFACE~! TAP OUT~! But it happen on the floor, so it doesn’t count. People complain at times about everyone and their grandma “out wrestling” Angle at points in a match, but at least here Benoit is BELIEVABLE.

Angle is pretty awesome after the Crossface; he stalls like FUCK before finally getting back in the ring because he wants to rest up as much as possible before getting back into the fight. And then when he DOES get back in the ring, he levels Benoit with a right hand to knock Benoit off his game as this has been a WRESTLING match so far, and is able to lock in a knee lock and Benoit taps! SMART by Kurt with how he went about it, and also smart by Benoit to tap straight away to avoid any more damage than was necessary. This is a 30 minute match, not a one fall match, so giving up IS going to put him at a disadvantage, he can get out of the hold quickly by tapping and then work towards getting a submission himself. Which he soon does with an ARM BAR.

Also love that the first 2 submissions AREN’T from the Crossface or Ankle Lock. We saw in the early part of the match that both guys know how to counter those holds extremely well, so both resort to other holds that they won’t be AS prepared for, and it pays off for BOTH of them.

Benoit SNAPS at the referee and shoves him down, so Angle takes advantage and decks Benoit with a chair! Ankle Lock, and this is done. 2-1 in favour of Angle so far. Oh and apparently there is a 30 second rest period, something I honestly didn’t notice from the first 2 submissions .

Oh man, Benoit is still hurt from the chair shot and Ankle Lock, allowing Angle to add insult to injury, forcing the Crippler to tap to his own Crossface! 3-1 to Angle with 18 minutes to go!

With a big advantage, Angle can stop focusing on JUST making Benoit tap out, and can start to BEAT UP Benoit because they do HATE each other, remember? Angle even locks in an Ankle Lock on the outside that makes Benoit tap out even though it doesn’t count, just because he wants to make Benoit HURT.

Nice little FIGHT on the mat with Benoit doing his best to prevent an Arm Bar attempt, followed by Angle having to escape an Arm Bar from Benoit!

Benoit gets some momentum going again and gets another submission win with a sweeet Half Boston Crap that looked more like a Half WCW Walls of Jericho lol. Angle has the 30 seconds to rest, then when the bell rings again to start the match, he rolls out of the ring! Benoit chases him, and Angle gets in the ring again and rolls out one more time! This might be one of the smartest matches Angle has wrestled lol. Certainly in the Benoit series where BOTH seemed to go full on retard lol.

Angle KEEPS going to the outside! Not just to rest up some more, but also to help run the clock down a little bit. 10 minutes left, but 30 seconds spend on the outside is 30 seconds taken from Benoit to try and gain another submission to even the score. And then when that doesn’t quite work, Angle sends Benoit outside and blocks him from getting back in for another minute!  I’m seriously loving this match so far! 9 minutes left and if they don’t fuck up I’m thinking this is gonna do really well lol.

Sleeper hold from Angle around the 6 minute mark. Works in Angle’s favour for another potential fall, but also keeps Benoit grounded and out of the match for another couple of minutes, which is the WORST thing for the Crippler with such little time left!

Angle is doing a really fucking good job at keeping Benoit down in the last 10 minutes. He’s up 3-2 and he knows if he can just keep Benoit at bay, he’s got this one in the BAG.

Benoit isn’t going to give up though, and with 2 minutes left finally gets a chance at locking in the Ankle Lock, and Angle taps! 3-3 with 2 minutes left!!!

And now with the match almost over, I LOVE that Benoit doesn’t keep trying for the Crossface just because he’s now in control. He JUST got a win with the Ankle Lock, so he immediately goes back after the leg! Angle continues to be great by attaching himself to the ropes!

Ankle Lock! Benoit can’t get out… but the clock runs out! And then Benoit taps! 3-3 and this is a draw… but then we go into SUDDEN DEATH!!! My money is on Benoit .

They’ve just wrestled for 30 minutes, and it’s now SUDDEN DEATH so they both just scramble to get in a submission, and in the end it’s Benoit who gets the Crossface in first, and Angle TAPS OUT. Benoit wins 4-3!!!

I still ADORE this match. Without a doubt their BEST match together. It’s damn near perfect tbh. There isn’t much I can possibly point to that isn’t good about this. It’s extremely smartly wrestled by both guys, especially Angle (I know, right!!!). They use the time and the stipulation WONDERFULLY. It’s incredible. My rating is going UP.

Rating: ****3/4
CAL SCALE – 8

 

Shane McMahon Vs The Big Show – Last Man Standing Match

SHANE AND THE BEANSTALK~!

 at Shane trying to grab a chair and MISSING it. KENDO STICK~!

Shane MAULS the giant with the stick until Show gets really fucked off, grabs the stick and clotheslines Shane to HELL.

The Kendo Stick didn’t work, so try a chair! Show takes about 7 shots and still only stays down for a 5 count!

 Shane tried to Chloroform Big Show . Show is OUT! Vince shows up to make sure this isn’t over yet, and cracks his own son in the face with a chair and steals the Chloroform. For his own personal use, no doubt. WHICH WAY TO THE DIVAS LOCKERROOM DAMMIT? 

The Vince interference allows Show to recover and now he’s back to trying to kill Shane.

Good GOD what a Chokeslam. I miss those kind of Chokeslams from Show. The ones he does now are shite.

Show could have won a couple of times already, but keeps picking Shane up to punish him more in the name of VINCE MCMAHON.

TEST~! He’s out to help his buddy Shane, and ends up getting his arse kicked .

Shane has time to recover and goes after Show, and then BIG SHOW GETS A PIPE!  at Shane running for his fucking LIFE as the 7 foot giant chases after him with a weapon!!!

Shane climbs the BEANSTALK aka part of the staging, while Test gets back into this and places Show on a weird stage thingy… and SHANE COMES CRASHING DOWN OFF THE TOP OF THE TITAN TRON RIGHT ONTO… THE STAGING! He didn’t quite land on Show lol, but hey, it’s an awesome spot visually .

Both men are out of it, so Test grabs a camera crane and supports Shane in order to keep him on his feet! Shane wins!

This is ok. FUN but not AS FUN as I was expecting lol. Their JD 00 match is better.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 

STEVE BLACKMAN~! He’s at WWF New York talking about the LMS match. And then GRAND MASTER SEXAY just jumps onto the screen “rapping” and Blackman is wishing he had a Kendo Stick .

 

Matt Hardy Vs Christian Vs Eddie Guerrero – WWF European Championship Match

If this happened in say, 2005, I’d be FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP’ing like made. But Christian wasn’t in THE ZONE yet as an incredible singles wrestler. Eddie was too fucked up on drugs to really GO, and Matt wasn’t quite on the level he would be either.

That being said maybe I’ll be surprised . I mean, they ARE all still talented as hell even at this time.

 at Matt running around the ring and the ref being in the way THE ENTIRE TIME as he tries desperately to run the ropes to do a sunset flip, which ends up being fucked up because they are too close to the ropes .

Sweet back body drop into the ropes countered with a DDT by Matt to Christian on the outside . DOUBLE BRAINBUSTERS by Eddie . Love brainbusters because they remind me of DICK~! Murdoch .

Edge shows up and Spears Matt, then throws him into the ring for Christian to pin him, only for Eddie to sneak up behind and take care of Christian and go for a cover himself! Only a 2 count though

Jeff shows up, takes care of Edge and gives Christian a Swanton, and Matt retains his belt.

This was short but very fun indeed. All 3 guys actually spend the majority of the match in the ring together, which makes a bloody change from the typical boring triple threat formula. Finishing stretch is pretty gosh darn cool.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 

Steve Austin & Triple H Vs The Undertaker & Kane – WWF Championship, WWF Intercontinental Championship and WWf Tag Team Championship Match

ALL THE GOLD is up for grabs here. If HHH is pinned, he loses his IC belt. If Austin is pinned and he loses his WWF title. If either Undertaker or Kane are pinned, they lose the tag belts. ALL THE GOLD, ALL THE POWER.

POWER TRIP have just gotten together and have been destroying people, so I love how BOD are their first opponents. They are two 7 foot BAD ASSES who are probably the most credible team kayfabe wise at this point to go up against Austin and HHH. And when HHH and Austin BEAT them, it makes the victory for Benoit and Jericho that much BIGGER.

Kane’s arm is FUCKED going into this match. Austin and HHH knew they couldn’t go toe to toe with the Brothers of Destruction without some kind of advantage, so they targeted Kane’s arm on their way to Backlash.

BOD stand tall in the ring and refuse to let Austin and HHH in, just a little MIND GAMES from them. HHH gets blasted in the face with a right hand of the Dead Man, and man oh man do they milk the shit out of that . Then HHH tries again and gets decked AGAIN . Hmmm… running into the ring to get punched in the face doesn’t seem to be working!

BOD look UNSTOPPABLE early on, but then the injured arm of Kane begins to prove a weakness, so Undertaker has to get in and take care of things himself.

 at Austin looking TERRIFIED when he tags into the match thinking Kane is gonna be his opponent, only for Undertaker to tag in.

 Austin wants to shake hands. So Undertaker boots him IN THE FACE.

Kane wants to tag in, but Undertaker is reluctant. Kane is persistent and Undertaker gives in since they ARE in control for the time being. Undertaker doesn’t let Kane stay in too long because he knows this match is gonna be won or lost on how long Kane spends in the ring with that bad arm.

THE TWIN TOWERS OF DOOM. JR’s new name for Undertaker and Kane lol.

OLD SCHOOL~!

OLD SCHOOL~!

Undertaker essentially having to fight both HHH and Austin himself leads to his downfall though. Nice workover period here.

A comeback from the Dead Man, and he gets the chance to tag Kane in, but he shakes his head and DOESN’T tag Kane in. Undertaker keeps trying to take on both HHH and Austin alone, but he keeps getting beat down and eventually Kane is able to get a blind tag to help out his brother, though Undertaker is NOT happy.

Kane is the fresh man in and is able to hold his own until his bad arm proves to be too much for even the BIG RED MACHINE.

HHH and Austin really fucking go to work on the injured arm of Kane. I swear if they could, they’d tear it off and beat him with it lol.

Awesome little spot where Austin smashes Kane’s arm with a chair, forcing Undertaker to go after him, and Austin runs half way up the rampay to escape .

Great tag work from HHH and Austin to as they do everything in their power to prevent a tag to Undertaker.

PEDIGREE~! Kane is OUT, so Undertaker sneaks in and Chokeslams HHH!!! STEPHANIE (looking SMOKING FAPTASTIC btw) gets on the apron to distract the ref, so WOMEN BEATER EARL pushes her off the apron! I’m glad he’s no longer in WWE. What a cunt! 

ENZIGURI FROM KANE~!

Kane finally gets a tag but the referee doesn’t see it, but by god UNDERTAKER DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK and proceeds to single handedly OBLITERATE the TWO MAN POWER TRIP.

LAST RIDE~! But Undertaker isn’t legal as far as the referee is concerned (currently making him Cody’s favourite wrestler  )!

STUNNER ON KANE~!

HHH and Kane are both out of it, and Austin and Undertaker are busy battling it out on the outside.

BIG BOOT TO STEPHANIE! Kane needs to be punished for that. SLEDGEHAMMER TO THE INJURED ARM. SLEDGEHAMMER TO THE HEAD. HHH AND AUSTIN JUST WON ALL THE GOLD!

This is still fucking tremendous. I’ve always been one of the bigger fans of this match, and now I might be THE biggest fan of it lol. You aren’t gonna find many tags better than this in WWE history.

Rating: ****1/2
CAL SCALE – 7

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 20.5

WWF No Way Out 2001

Raven Vs The Big Show – WWF Hardcore Championship Match

NINJA WOMEN~! She ties to attack Show on his way to the ring. No luck. Tori is the NINJA WOMEN~! but fuck knows why or what happened to her lol.

WEAPONS~! HARDCORE~! EXTREME~!

Seeing Raven try to knock Big Show off his feet is pretty awesome. Then from out of nowhere a popcorn vender attacks Raven… turns out to be CRASH~!

STEVE “HARDCORE” BLACKMAN~!

BOB “ACTUALLY NICKNAMED HARDCORE” HOLLY~!

KENDO STICK TO BIG SHOW’S HEAD!

BILLY GUNN~! FAMASSER~! NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION~!

THIS IS FUCKING CHAOS AND I LOVE IT!!! 

Billy don’t get chance to escape with the belt though as the ring is filled with guys desperate (fuck knows why lol) to get their hands on the title!

And then BIG SHOW gets back up. And nobody is safe.

RAVEN WINS BACK THE TITLE!

CRASH FLIES!

NINJA WOMEN IS BACK! MOLLY HOLLY RUNS BEHIND HER AND SMACKS HER IN THE HEAD WITH A TRASH CAN LID!

 Raven MISSES Big Show with a trash can. He MISSED THE WORLD’S LARGEST ATHLETE WITH A BIG FUCK OFF TRASH CAN .

Chokeslam through the trash can!!! Show wins the title! Gunn tries to get it back but Big Show throws him away. BIG SHOW IS HARDCORE CHAMPION~!

Sweet baby Jebus this is immensely FUN. Look up fun in the dictionary… you’ll get some crappy explanation when really they should just tell you to watch THIS.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

Chris Jericho Vs Eddie Guerrero Vs Chris Benoit Vs X-Pac – WWF Intercontinental Championship Match

Fuck me look at that TALENT.

I like that everyone in this match has had a feud with Jericho in the last year (Eddie not so much, but Jericho injured him so that’s that). Everyone wants to KILL JERICHO . My money is on Benoit .

Jericho starts by taking the fight to everyone since they all wanna kill him. The numbers game eventually gets to him though, especially with Benoit and Guerrero working together. BUT FOR HOW LONG? THE SUSPENSE! YAWN. They’ll start fighting soon. They always do. Boring.

Of course with multiple guys in the match, they have to get rid of 2 on the outside so we can have just 2 in the ring at most times. Gives everyone a chance to take on Jericho 1 on 1, and some of it is good (Benoit Vs Jericho mainly)… but I’d have preferred a singles match. Jericho and Eddie probably could have done better in a singles match. They never had a PPV match (except for the UK Insurrextion one anyway), so would have been nice if they got the chance here. The feuds with Benoit and X-Pac were over, but Eddie was just back from being INJURED by Jericho so surely a singles feud SHOULD have happened, right?

Lots of MOVES~! here, which is ok and all I guess. These kind of matches are rarely anything else . Makes for a nice finishing stretch at least, which I’d say starts when Justin Credible comes down to help X-Pac. DOUBLE SUPERKICK TO BENOIT . Love that double move.

FUCKING HELL. I think X-pac might be responsible for Benoit… that fucking KICK. RIGHT IN THE HEAD. That HAD to have fucking hurt.

Jericho rolls X-Pac up while he’s celebrating the KICK OF DOOM and gets the win.

Fun match overall, but I would have still preferred a singles match. Less MOVES~! and more substance would have been nice.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 at poor Regal trying to make sense of what Vince wants him to do tonight in the STEPHANIE VS TRISH FAP MATCH.

Stephanie McMahon Vs Trish Stratus

FAP FAP FAP FAP FA…. no wait! Must. Concentrate. On. Match.

Why? Because I remember this being GOOD.

Damn Steph looks hot when she’s mad. ANGRY SEX~!

These ladies are trying to destroy each other! Pretty great brawl to start things off! Stephanie takes a bump over the barricade to the CONCRETE like a fucking boss… then gets back up and DECKS TRISH IN THE FACE.

FAP FAP FAP TRISH’S SHORTS HAVE TURNED INTO A THONG.

No no concentrate… concentrate…

Damn, STEPHANIE hitting some pretty stiff shots! MUST AVOID PENIS JOKE.

DDT! Steph takes that better than half the guys! Or at the very least, Kane. Kane CANNOT take face/head bumps. He just can’t. Seriously. Watch him any time he has to take a DDT, or an RKO, or a Bulldog. HE CANNOT DO IT. He just sticks his arms down and bounces off them with his head about 2 feet off the floor.

HATE~! Fucking plenty of HATE~! in this .

WET T-SHIRT! WET T-SHIRT!

OH SHIT HURRICANRANA COUNTERED INTO A POWERBOMB!

STEPHANIE PULLS DOWN TRISH’S SHORTS, REVEALS A THONG AND SPANKS HER!!! STEPHANIE IS TRYING TO STRIP TRISH!!!

Both ladies charge at each other and take each other out. So Regal shows up, takes down the referee and… places Trish on top of Stephanie… then when the ref starts counting he puts Stephanie’s foot on the ropes! He doesn’t have a clue what to do . Trish slaps him, so he retaliates with his cross arm neckbreaker! STEPHANIE GETS THE WIN!

This is legitimately GOOD. Hot as fuck too. But most importantly GOOD.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 Vince absolutely verbally destroys Regal backstage for not doing what he wanted. TAG MATCH MADE FOR RAW. Where Vince turns on Trish… yet somehow they stay together until WM. LOL.

Triple H Vs Steve Austin – 3 Stages of Hell Match – 1st Fall = Singles Match. 2nd Fall = Street Fight. 3rd Fall = Cage Match

As far as actual feuds go, this was pretty damn AWESOME. A ton of great moments from both guys screwing each other out of the WWF Title, to the awesome contract signing, to Austin Stunning STEPHANIE. One of the best examples of a pure HATE~! filled feud. Just a shame their matches were never on par with the feud. Their Survivor Series 00 match sucked, and I am not a big fan of this one either. Maybe things will change.

Starts off good at least . The first fall might be a straight up “wrestling” match, but Austin comes out swinging and is determined to maul HHH to death… just within the rules of a regular match lol.

Austin ends up targeting HHH’s arm fairly quickly, and it hinders HHH quickly as it prevents him potentially landing a Pedigree and ending the first fall.

WORST ARN ANDERSON SPINEBUSTER EVER. By Austin.

HHH targets Austin’s neck. And then decides to throw him into the corner and kick him in the gut a few times. And then chop blocks his knee. MAKE UP YOUR FECKING MIND.

Ok, seems HHH has settled on leg work now. FIGURE FOUR. Hey Miz, THIS is a figure four. For the love of god take notes or something. Please.

Leg work? WHAT LEG WORK? Austin literally IGNORES IT straight away. Stunner and he wins the first fall. Wow, that was completely uneventful and forgettable.

Street fight time.

MONITOR SHOT TO HHH’S FACE. And then for some reason Austin decides to throw a bunch of chairs in the ring (why he needs more than 1 I’ll never know lol), and that gives HHH time to recover… and escape . YEY BRAWLING IN THE CROWD… thank fuck they get back to the ring pretty quickly.

Back to the ring and Austin continues his HATE~! filled rampage by mauling HHH with a chair, similar to what he did to Rock at WM. A month later. Totally just realised half way into that sentence that this is BEFORE WM 17 .

And then, after beating HHH up with ONE chair… he grabs the ring bell. Why not just like… keep using the chair? Or another chair? You have 3 of the fuckers there. Why waste ANY TIME going for the ring bell when you clearly aren’t in short supply of fucking weapons?

2×4 wrapped in barbed wire shows up… and honestly it’s reveal is RANDOM AS SHIT. Now, if Austin went for that instead of the ring bell, it would have been fine. “Steel chair? Nah, not enough… I’ll get a fucking 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire!” That would have been cool. But no. “Steel chair? Nah, not good enough. Steel ring bell!” Then he doesn’t even USE the ring bell, ends up back by the timekeepers table and randomly seems to find the 2×4. Just baffles me tbh.

But that small (  ) annoyance aside, at least they are keeping up with the HATE~! part of the match. Austin gets busted open, HHH gets put through a table. They are at least trying to kill each other… just not very efficiently. Man, does anyone know how to commit murder properly? Do I gotta show em how it’s done?

The SLEGDEHAMMER reveal is at least done better. They spend a while trying to kill each other in the ring using the ring bell and the chairs, then the steel steps come out, but neither of them can put the other away… so HHH goes over to the announce table that isn’t broke and reaches under to pull out his trusty weapon! THIS is HHH’s big game changer, and after fighting with Austin to actually use it, it takes one shot to the head to put Austin down long enough for HHH to hit the Pedigree and get the second fall win.

That fall was actually mostly really good. Definitely came across better than the last time I saw it. Shame the first fall had to happen, because honestly it was just pure shite, and serves absolutely NO PURPOSE to the match. I swear it’s just there so Austin could pin HHH (and pin him first) so he doesn’t look a total jobber when he loses to HHH twice going into WM.

Cage match time! BARBED WIRE TO THE FACE. OF BOTH MEN. 

So this is kinda boring tbh. Just standard stuff for the most part. At least they do a pretty damn good job of selling the effects of the street fight. Austin’s Stunner is awesome. He turns around pretty slowly and then just kinda falls forward and it actually looks really cool how it’s done.

Finish is what it is. Both hit each other in the face with weapons, and HHH is the lucky one who happens to land on Austin. Gives HHH the win, keeps Austin strong in defeat going into WM. I’m fine with it tbh.

Overall… this match isn’t great. It’s not some big all time classic, it’s not MOTY, it’s not a MOTYC. It’s GOOD, but nothing more. The first fall shouldn’t have happened at all. Was a complete and utter waste of time that adds NOTHING to the match. The street fight is mostly really good, albeit with a couple of flaws. Cage is kinda dull but it does have its moments. All of it combined gives us a good match, but not one I’m looking to re-watch any time in the next decade.

My rating stays the same as before, but I ended up liking and disliking different thing compared to last time that evened out and kept the rating the same lol.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

Steven Richards Vs Jerry Lawler – If Lawer wins, The Kat gets naked. If Steven wins, The Kat joins RTC

THE FAP FAP KAT.

 at Richards doing a HO TRAIN.

10 punched in the corner? Nah. TWENTY SIX~! King really wants Kat to get naked! Then again he probably doesn’t care if he wins or not cos HE HITTING THAT.

Really, really shitty finish, and Steven Richards wins. Kat leaves the company soon after and Lawler goes with her.

Bad.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

The Dudley Boys Vs Edge & Christian Vs The Undertaker & Kane – WWF Tag Team Championship Tables Match

E&C are stuck in the middle of the ramp way between Undertaker & Kane and those DAMN DUDLEYS. So they bail over the sides of the ramp and let the other 2 teams go at it. Which results in both Dudley Boys getting thrown off the ramp to the floor .

UNDERTAKER AND KANE ARE ON FIRE. WELL, BAD CHOICE OF WORDS. SORRY KANE.

Fans chant “WE WANT TABLES” during a tables match. Bit redundant, is it not? You gonna get tables. It’s the whole point of the match. You don’t chant “WE WANT PINFALLS” during a singles match, do you? No. So shut the fuck up.

“BUBBA’S CUMMING!”

STEREO TOP ROPE CLOTHESLINES~!

Undertaker and Kane pretty much DOMINATE this match, forcing the other 2 teams to try and work together, but damn, BOD are just killing em.

Just as it looks like they are gonna win the tag belts… RIKISHI AND HAKU (MENG) SHOW UP! They battle up the rampway, allowing The Dudley Boys to get the win inside the ring.

This is fun, not much more though.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Kurt Angle Vs The Rock – WWF Championship Match

Fuck me, 10 minutes into this one and I’ve had NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT. They’ve just gone back and forth with some moves.

Then Big Show comes out and fucks everyone up. Kinda like he did at Battleground . Except they decide to just like, get a new referee out here to keep the match going.

 at Hebner. He and Tim White come down to help their fallen referee, but then Hebner spots Angle covering Rock and LETS GO of the other ref, leaving him and Tim White to fall down, so he can count to 2 .

They hit some finishers. Hebner kinda I think screws up the count after a Rock Bottom so he has to hit another. Rock wins the title.

Good GOD this match is just… empty. Nothing there. It’s just a bunch of stuff.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

Overall CAL SCALE – 7.5

WWF No Mercy 2001

The Hardy Boys Vs Lance Storm & The Hurricane – WCW Tag Team Championship Match

LITA LITA FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP LITA is at ringside .

IVORY. FAP. HER TITS ARE BEGGING TO ESCAPE HER TOP.

Hurricane & Storm. Can’t believe I didn’t get that until my Unforgiven ramblings .

Heyman: “ARE YOU DOUBTING MY SOURCES, JR?”

JR: “WELL… UHH… …. YA.”

FIST BUMP TAG~!

LITA chant randomly. She’s more popular than anyone else in the match lol.

MIGHTY MOLLY~!

SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR! FUCK ME THAT WAS A PRETTY (PUN INTENDED) SPEAR BY LITA! GREAT BUMP BY MOLLY TOO. SPEAR! I WANNA SPEAR LITA!

Cool little finishing stretch, Hardy Boys retain. But honestly other than that there isn’t much to this one. Like, at all. It’s like they didn’t do ANYTHING in the middle of the match.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

RVD shows up and Regal (now the Alliance Commissioner) gives him a talking to. RVD is in the main event tonight for the WWF Title… and he’s currently the hardcore champion… which means no hardcore title match tonight .

VINCE shows up. Michael Cole puts his jacket on for him. He drops it on the floor first. Vince says he’s gonna drop Cole if he drops his jacket again .

Test Vs Kane

I’m oddly looking forward to this match. Certainly more than the other match later tonight between the other half of these teams (Undertaker Vs Booker T. Yes, I’m looking forward to a TEST match more than an Undertaker match. Blame Booker).

PRESS SLAM OVER THE ROPES. Kane press slams Test OVER THE ROPES TO THE FLOOR. 

Fuck me at that ringbell shot to Kane’s head. Nick Patrick ignores it .

This is a pretty solid BIG MAN battle. Nothing on the Kane/Albert matches from earlier in the year, but still good stuff overall with some impressive shit (THAT PRESS SLAM) too.

BIG BOOT~! But it happens on the outside so Test doesn’t get the win there.

CHOKESLAM~! But Kane is still hurting from the BIG BOOT to capitalise on it quick enough.

PUMPHANDLE SLAM~! Damn, this is a pretty good finishing stretch. Plenty of great near falls without either of them spamming actual finishers.

A chair comes into play, the referee fucks over Kane and BAM, BIG BOOT! Test gets the win!

 Me likely this matchy.

2 chokeslams to Nick Patrick . And a powerbomb! 

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

THE COACH interviews Austin through Debra.

STACY KEIBLER FAP FAP FAP. She gives Matt Hardy a sneak peak of her lingerie. Lucky bastard.

Torrie Wilson Vs Stacy Keibler – Lingerie Match

I KNOW YOU WANT ME~! SUNNY THEME MUSIC~!

FAP.

FAP.

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

FAP FAP.

FAP. FAP. FAP. FAP.

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

Christian Vs Edge – Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match

Urgh. I’ll watch this in hopes I like it. But I don’t expect to.

Booooring. Boooooring. Boooooring. Boooooring. Outside of CHRISTIAN taking a couple of cool bumps off the ladder, this is BORING. It does, however, feature THE most insane, sickening, nasty, brutal ladder spot in history:

Christian tries a one man conchairto but Edge blocks it. So Edge gets a ladder. Making it 3 in the ring now. Because apparently he needed the other 2 still. He sets the ladder up across the steel chairs and puts Christian on it and I guess he’ll climb the ladders (2 for stability) and splash Christian. LOLNO. He climbs the ropes instead. So bringing a 3rd ladder into the ring was pointless. Edge: Dumbfuck.

Fuck me. Both ladders are still set up in the ring. RIGHT UNDER THE BELT. So Christian sets up the third one at a different angle to climb, only to get SPEARED by Edge who comes off the ropes. YEAH, THAT LADDER WASN’T SET UP FOR JUST THAT SPOT…

Conchairto to Christian on top of the ladders (this time having 3 makes sense… about damn time), and Edge wins the IC title back.

DO NOT LIKE. This might be a worse Christian ladder match than the Shelton one. Urgh. These guys HAVE NO CHEMISTRY. Glad we never got a WM match now tbh. Probably would have been shite.

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

Spike is at WWF New York. He’s drinking a beer. I hope they asked for his ID. Some random slut shows up to hit on him. Glad this was shown…

The Dudley Boys Vs The Big Show & Tajiri – WWF Tag Team Championship Match

Dudleys? Big Show? TAJIRI? Fap? FAP!

Tajiri and Bubba start things off .

OMG just found a Tajiri Vs Bubba match from Raw in 02. TOTALLY GONNA WATCH THAT AFTER THIS .

Tajiri plays the FIP here so we get plenty of him . KICKS~! GREEN MIST~! Poor referee gets it .

Fuck. Me. That chokeslam on Bubba was incredible.

RHYNO! GORE! GORE GORE!

KICK TO THE FUCKING HEAD!

I like how the referee doesn’t DQ Tajiri.

3-D! And this one is over. FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

The Undertaker Vs Booker T

Urgh. Just fuck off Booker. YOU SUCK. I’d rather watch a Rock match. Or a Chavo Jr match. Hmmm… maybe not. Booker > Chavo Jr at least. Highlight of his career.

Huh, JR was calling Undertaker BOOGER RED already? Thought that was just something he called him during his heel run towards the end of the year. I LEARNDED SOMETHING!

 at JR taking a jab at some of the shitty WCW champs in recent memory.

Like how Undertaker keeps going after the arm and taking the fight to the mat here rather than just straigh up clubbing Booker T to hell. Takes Booker off his game in the early going, something Undertaker realises he needs to do after Kane tasted defeat at the hands of Booker’s tag partner Test earlier in the night.

I like how they work in part of the Kane/Test match into this, with Booker grabbing the ring bell to deck Undertaker, just like Test did with Kane, but this match has a WWF official and he ain’t standing for that shit! The bell is taken away and Undertaker decides it’s time to BRAWL with Booker now.

Undertaker might not have been at the top of his game in 2001, but his PUNCHES are always epic. WWE might have dubbed him in the best striker in history or whatever, but damn, it’s kinda hard to put up much of an argument. He’s RIGHT UP THERE with anyone. Lawler. Dundee. Bunch of guys I’m forgetting. No doubt I’ll get screamed at for forgetting certain people. I’M FUCKING SORRY WE GUYS, OK?

THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MOVE IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TODAY… THE SPINAROONIE!!!

LAST RIDE~!

Very back and forth match, with Booker never really getting in control as the heel, but eh, he’s in the ring with THE UNDERTAKER and Booker is a WCW guy… so I get that they didn’t want to make Booker look THAT strong against the Dead Man. That being said Booker did a good job any time he was on offence here that a full blown control segment would have been fine. Perhaps this was more of a test for Booker than anything? Vince has been known for putting guys against Undertaker to “test” them, especially the WCW guys around this time.

Anyway, good match. Enjoyed it more than I thought I would. My dislike for Booker tends to prevent me from liking anything he does, even against Undertaker (I have horrible memories of their JD 04 match lol). But he was good here. Undertaker was good. Match was good. Good good.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

The Rock Vs Chris Jericho – WCW Championship Match

Can Jericho win THE BIG ONE? Yeah, probably.

I do find it funny that during a time of WWF VS WCW (and ECW…), they still did a bunch of WWF VS WWF matches. Shows how crappy the talent in the ALLIANCE was outside of a few key people. Bit of a shame tbh. We could have gotten Rock Vs DDP or something instead, but they decided that DDP can fuck off and buried the shit out of him .

“I LIKE THEM, STEPH!” sign in the crowd. Can I assume this means her boob job? 

These guys have some issues they need to work out, along with the fact Jericho is DESPERATE to win THE BIG ONE. That somewhat simple story works nicely into the match with Jericho trying to do anything and everything to win.

Love the commentary for this one too. Heyman and JR really help build up how HUGE this match is, with the WCW title lineage going all the way back to the first ever world champion in 1904(?), and how significant it is that this match is taking place in St Louis, where some of the biggest legends in the business have wrestled for, won, and lost THIS very title over the years. Jericho wants to win THE BIG ONE and THE BIG ONE is being put over as the fucking MONSTROUS ONE. I love things like that. Hey Michael Cole, commentary CAN add to a match. You useless cunt.

Rock hits perhaps the GOAT catapult on Jericho. He holds him up off the ground (like setting up a GIANT SWING~!) for a few seconds before falling back to launch Jericho into the corner. Looks less fakey and shit that normal.

Rock Bottom + Lionsault is an INCREDIBLE false finish. I mean DAMN. How did Jericho not win THE BIG ONE right there? 

Rock ends up really taking the fight to Jericho and damn, I kinda wish I’d watched this BEFORE Vengeance now lol, because the finishing stretch of that match looks to be a SWEEET call back to part of this match . Table spot, People’s Elbow countered into a submission, other stuff no doubt.

STEPHANIE FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP. Rock gives her a Rock Bottom. WHAT A CUNT. FUCKING WOMEN BEATER. I’LL SAVE YOU STEPHANIE!

She brought a chair with her, and Jericho thinks nothing of hitting the Breakdown on it, sending Rock’s skull into the chair! 1…2…3 and Jericho wins THE BIG ONE! Finish plays perfectly into the story of Jericho being willing to do ANYTHING to win. STEPHANIE looks hot.

Great match.

Rating: ****
CAL SCALE – 5

Steve Austin Vs Kurt Angle Vs RVD – WWF Championship Match

SUPLEX! SUPLEX! SUPLEX! Angle wastes no time suplexing the shit out of everyone. RVD and Austin don’t know if they can trust each other, and Angle just doesn’t care. He’s gonna kill everyone.

Austin decides he doesn’t wanna wait and goes after RVD before RVD can turn on him. EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES~!

Glad that they had Austin do that straight away. Takes away the bullshit “working together then turning on each other” crap we tend to get. Survivor Series 09 main event does that too, only better .

Austin is a man POSSESSED here. He just doesn’t seem to stop. He knows this is HIS match to lose so he goes after both men and tries to keep himself in the match as often as possible so he has a better chance of preventing someone else from winning HIS title.

Holy shit ANGLE HIT THE MOONSAULT. And didn’t break anyone’s arm! 

Vince decks Austin with a chair. RVD tries to take advantage as they’ve been teasing RVD going to the WWF. Angle breaks up the count, fucking DESTROYS RVD, then Shane O’Mac shows up, takes out Angle (then gets taken out by Vince lol), and Austin gets the pin on RVD.

So this one is fast paced and high impact and all that shit… and that’s about it. It’s OK and all, better than a certain other triple threat Austin was involved in on PPV this year… but it’s just a SPOTTY match with little in the way of real substance aside from Austin being obsessed with retaining the title.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

Overall CAL SCALE – 10.5

WWF Vengeance 2001

4 Men. 3 Matches. 2 Titles. 1 Undisputed Champion.

Yey we are opening the PPV with an IN RING PROMO. It was utterly pointless.

Scotty 2 Hott & Albert Vs Test & Christian

THE HIP HOP HIPPO!!!

So this match is random as fuck. It’s a “bonus” match.

Oh ok, apparently they’ve had a little “rivalry” on TV. Whatever.

HORSEFACE TEST.

Nice to see Test and Albert go at it. They never did have a blow off when they split a year ago.

Test has immunity at this point. Bet Big Show wishes he had that over an IRON CLAD CONTRACT which ain’t doing shit for him.

 at Lawler and JR debating over whether or not Albert and Scotty are “fly”.

OMG I just noticed the referee! TEDDY LONG!!! I really should have made a record of how many tag matches he’s refereed on these PPV’s lol.

CHRISTIAN’S WORM!!! Awww, Albert tries to break it up but Christian avoids a kick and Test levels Albert with a big boot!

SCOTTY’S WORM!!! His is successful.

BALDO BOMB~! The fly white guys win.

Fun opener.

Rating: *1/4
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Edge Vs William Regal – WWF Intercontinental Championship

 I’m a HUGE fan of the matches between these two. A very underrated series imo. Great promo from Regal before the match.

Reason I’m such a fan of this series is because it actually helps out BOTH men involved. Regal imo never really settled in as far as in ring work in the WWF until this series with Edge. Here he was back to being, well, awesome, and much stiffer than we’d seen from him in a long time (aka his WCW days). These matches seemed to help him rediscover himself.

As for Edge, after winning the KOTR and splitting with Christian, he really didn’t come across as a singles guy yet. He worked with Christian straight away and they just didn’t have chemistry. Then he worked with Test. So this was Edge’s first real opponent who was BOTH good in the ring and had chemistry with him, and that allowed for great matches and for Edge to really adjust imo to singles matches.

KNEE TREMBLER~! Edge takes some really nice STIFF SHOTS in this one, and even he throws out some nasty looking offence here and there too. You GOTTA with Regal though, otherwise he’ll just tear you apart.

Some unique spots throughout this match too, same goes for their other 2 PPV matches that follow. SPEAR OFF THE APRON INTO THE STEEL STEPS (Regal moved). Now that was awesome.

BRASS KNUCKS~! Regal hid some in the ring because he knew he’d be checked before the match.

DOUBLE ARM POWERBOMB~! One of my favourite moves from Regal .

Regal gets a little frustrated, so he hits a pair of DOUBLE ARM POWERBOMBS . And when that doesn’t work, he puts on the Brass Knucks… and walks into SPEAR!!! Edge gets the win.

Still holds up . Not as good as their RR match, and it’s been too long since I saw their NWO match to know where it stands against that, but that doesn’t matter. This is great.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

LITA (FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP) in the hottest referee outfit ever. FAP.

Matt Hardy Vs Jeff Hardy – Special Guest Referee Lita

LITA .

Feud is another of those examples of WWF being morons. At Survivor Series, Jeff had the chance to win the tag titles. Instead he decided to jump off the cage and it cost them the match. Matt is the bad guy for pointing that out. WHAT?

The actual feud wasn’t a real HATE~! driven kind of feud. Really was more of a brother vs brother thing where they didn’t hate each other but needed to sort shit out, and in wrestling the way to do that is to have a match. Not killing each other’s dog level of HATE~! yet lol.

Man, feels like they are just going through the motions here. It’s slow and sluggish and dull. Feels like they literally do nothing for the first 5 minutes or so. Then Jeff “hurts” his leg and Matt goes after it and… I just don’t care lol. If it wasn’t for LITA looking all FAP FAP I’d have probably just skipped this one tbh.

Jeff gets the 3 but Matt’s foot was on the ropes. LITA didn’t see it.

Not often a referee is the best part of a match.

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

The Dudley Boys Vs The Big Show & Kane – WWF Tag Team Championship Match

So Show and Kane have been teaming up since way back when, huh? Damn, lol.

 at Bubba begging for a tag but D-Von is too scared to get in the ring with Big Show.

Show and Kane are looking UNSTOPPABLE.

CLOTHESLINE FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE!!!

STACY~! Shorts come down and she gets a spanking!!!

Dudley’s do a pretty great job of finally taking down Kane and using Show to distract the referee to double team the Big Red Machine. Stuff like that is what helps make them some of the most consistently GOOD performers the entire year for the last 2 years.

Kane accidentally clotheslined Show from the ropes! They argue and those DAMN DUDLEYS try to take advantage, but they are just too big and too strong. Then Show accidentally knocks Kane off the apron, Bubba exposes the turnbuckle, and we get a double flapjack onto the exposed turnbuckle!

Short but solid tag match. Good tag work from the Dudley Boys, great power work from Kane and Show, STACY being all FAP FAP, and a creative finish!

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

The Undertaker Vs RVD – WWF Hardcore Championship Match

 HARDCORE TITLE MATCH.

 UNDERTAKER MATCH.

  UNDERTAKER HARDCORE TITLE MATCH  .

Undertaker’s heel turn was .

Undertaker cut his hair! Looks like the fucking TERMINATOR coming down to the ring now with the sunglasses and motorbike. He just wants RESPECT and he gots all mine!

RVD has to try and stick and move against BIG EVIL, and use those quick kicks to keep him at bay. Works for about 30 seconds, and then Undertaker uses a kick of his own (BIG BOOT).

MOONSAULT ON THE CONCRETE~! From RVD, obviously.

 at Undertaker squashing RVD’s face under some guard rail.

GOAT sign: “GOOD MORNING”.

Fans: “RVD! RVD!”

Undertaker: “RVD GETTING HIS ASS KICKED!”

God I love heel Undertaker.

And of course right after he says that, RVD makes a comeback . CROSSBODY OFF THE BALCONY!

Undertaker is now covered in dust .

Babyface Undertaker, when getting pinned, would simply kick out. HEEL Undertaker gouges the fucking EYES to escape a pin .

Sweet Jebus! RVD gets launched face first into part of the staging. Makes on SICK AND NASTY sound.

Last Ride! No! RVD holds on to the stage and fights out of it! Undertaker is kicked backstage, then comes back out and just DECKS RVD in the face with a right hand. If Undertaker went for a cover there I could have bought into a near fall from it tbh. But Undertaker goes for a chair instead!

Van Daminator! No! Undertaker moves and RVD ends up kicking the titan tron! Chair shot!

And now they move closer and closer to the edge of the stage… another Van Daminator attempt… ANOTHER COUNTER! CHOKESLAM OFF THE STAGE! 1…2…3 AND THE UNDERTAKER IS THE NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION!

 This rules. This fucking RULES. I wanna watch all of Undertaker’s hardcore title defences now lol.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

Trish Stratus Vs Jacqueline – WWF Women’s Championship

Well, first match I’m skipping so far for my 2001 Rambles. Technically skipped the women’s match at WM 17 but I did that writeup earlier in the year.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

Steve Austin Vs Kurt Angle – WWF Championship Match

Austin turned on the WWF fans by aligning with Vince to win the WWF title at WM earlier in the year. Then he turned on the WWF by joining the Alliance with the sole intention of putting the WWF out of business. Angle was the WWF Hero. Joined the Alliance to fuck them over from the inside. It worked. The WWF won. Next night on Raw, Austin gets cheered by the fans, turning back babyface, while Angle somehow ends up the heel. WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS WWE?

Ok, It’s been about a week since I first attempted to watch this match lol. I just couldn’t. I got about 5 minutes in and wasn’t feeling it and gave up. Been avoiding the shit out of it since then . But I gots ta get it done! That way I can move on and get to other events from 2001 lol. Like Survivor Series and SummerSlam and Backlash .

These two have been feuding since Invasion when Austin screwed the WWF, gave Angle the Stunner and cost Team WWF the match. 2 PPV matches and a TV match for the title and a TON of good old HATE~! thrown in too. They had some fucking WARS. And now they have the chance to become the first ever Undisputed Champion ever (despite the fact JR and Lawler actually claim there has been an Undisputed champion before  ).

So how do they start the match here? A big crazy wild brawl to continue their HATE~!? No, not really. It comes across more of a “feeling out” segment. Which is odd considering how well they know each other by now.

Instead of trying to kill each other, Austin instead targets the arm of Angle. Which I guess is ok. The winner of this still has another match to go before they can win the title. So taking things easy and not going all out makes sense… but eh, I just don’t like it. Would be fine if this was say just the semi-finals of a tournament or something where they were randomly placed against each other… but these guys fucking HATE each other with a passion and have spent half of 2001 trying to tear each other apart!

So what we actually get for the most part is a dull, uninspired brawl with some dull limb work.

Oh look, terrible German Suplexes by Austin. 5 in a row. Thanks for that.

Fuck me I think Angle just botched a low blow. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

One Stunner and Angle is done. Kinda glad because a kick out would have meant this match would continue.

Shit.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

The Rock Vs Chris Jericho – World Heavyweight Championship Match

Was that a “Rocky sucks” chant I heard? IT WAS! 

These guys have been going at it for a couple of months now, not as long as Austin/Angle, but they have a pretty big RIVALRY going. So again I’d kinda expect them to bring the HATE~! from the start, but they don’t do it either. Ok, maybe they wanna take it slow because they have to wrestle again RIGHT AFTER THIS MATCH. Like with Angle/Austin, I wouldn’t LIKE them doing that but it would make sense.

LOLMAKESENSE. Nah. They don’t bring the HATE~! but they both start running around and flying into each other with clotheslines or arm drags and shit. So no HATE~! AND no trying to save energy at the start? Fuck you both. Especially Rock.

ASK HIM! How about someone ask Jericho to lay off the fucking rest holds. Rock ain’t the only one going to sleep here.

Rock Bottom by Jericho through a table. About 5 minutes have happened between that rest hold and the table spot. AND I HAD NOTHING TO FUCKING WRITE ABOUT. Not feeling this one tbh.

Huh, Rock just took HIS OWN FINISH THROUGH A TABLE… and yet he’s the first one back on offence. What?

Oh it’s ok, Jericho just kills Rock with the BREAKDOWN anyway. Then spends about half an hour setting up a People’s Elbow, only for Rock to counter with a Sharpshooter… only for Jericho to reverse the Sharpshooter!!! Ok, that sequence was kinda cool, though Jericho could perhaps have taken less time mocking the People’s Elbow. Also, why the fuck does Jericho look like he’s escaped DEATH? Rock has taken a ROCK BOTTOM THROUGH A TABLE, A BREAKDOWN AND A SHARPSHOOTER and he’s still fucking countering Jericho with roll ups and even a Rock Bottom of his own, all the while Jericho seems like he’s taken double that the whole time.

Vince distracts the referee, because Jericho wouldn’t be able to kick out of a Rock Bottom followed by 10 years of rest while Rock slowly makes a cover…

People’s Elbow, and Rock has a second wind. LOW BLOW. ROCK BOTTOM. JERICHO WINS.

This sucked too. Not as bad as Austin/Angle, definitely not as bad as that, but still, it ain’t got nothing on their RR match or their NM match (or at least what I remember of that one… I’ll get to it soon).

Rating: *1/4
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Steve Austin Vs Chris Jericho – WWF Undisputed Championship Match

Jericho gets the win and straight afterwards, Austin comes down and attacks Jericho. But for some reason the referee doesn’t ring the bell yet. No, he waits until Angle decks Austin with a chair first and then Rock hits a Rock Bottom on Jericho. Awesome. 2 slow, dull matches so far in this title tournament thingy and the final match starts with BOTH MEN LAID OUT AND THE REFEREE DOING A COUNT. Seriously? Shoot me now.

“AUSTIN TOOK A POUNDING FROM ANGLE EARLIER” 

Fuck me, these two are showing more HATE~! in this match than the previous 2 matches did. And these guys don’t really have any big heated rivalry or anything. They don’t like each other, but damn, they trying to kill each other anyway.

 at Austin going for a Stunner ON THE TABLE.  at the bump Jericho takes off the table when Austin counters a Walls attempt! at the bump Jericho (and Austin) take on the CONCRETE FLOOR (mat has been pulled away) after a suplex.

I never really “get” the “using the ropes of additional leverage” on submission holds. Half the time it looks like it isn’t helping at all. The other half can be summed up with Jericho’s ARM BAR here. He uses the ropes for leverage (awesome show btw, LEVERAGE. Been watching a bunch of it the last week rather than watching this) and damn, it looks NASTY. Like, break Austin’s arm kinda nasty.

Man, how does EARL at his age take some of those BUMPS? He just launched himself out of the ring following a flying forearm from Jericho. He bumps better than a lot of fucking wrestlers.

Ref is down, cue VINCE again, and NICK PATRICK. RIC FLAIR. He takes out Patrick. VINCE PUNCHES FLAIR!!! FLAIR HEAD FIRST INTO THE RING POST! I wonder if Flair bleeds .

Austin spots Vince and kills him.

WALLS OF JERICHO TO JERICHO. Man, how many finishers got STEALED~! during the last 3 matches? 

BOOKER T. He came, he ruined shit, he fucked off. Jericho wins the Undisputed Championship.

I’m actually rather surprised by this match. It wasn’t great or anything, and the finish was a little overbooked, but overall this was enjoyable. Certainly better than the previous 2 matches, which is surprising considering both men had just competed in them lol.

Rating: **1/4
CAL SCALE – 1

Overall CAL SCALE – 10

2014 Royal Rumble

Oh boy. The event that is getting talked about more than probably any show since the invention of the internet… and not for anything good!

Match 1 – Daniel Bryan Vs Bray Wyatt. Ahh Daniel Bryan. How fucking OVER is this guy? It’s pretty fucking incredible. Haven’t really been into this whole Wyatt feud, but hey, Bryan has remained over as fuck, and probably becoming MORE over (especially after that cage match), so it’s been tolerable for crowd reactions alone lol. Went into the match not expecting much, and watching live I was surprised as hell, so I’m very much looking forward to re-watching this one! Match feels very much like a FIGHT, with Bray wanting to beat the hell out of Bryan for turning his back on the family, and Bryan just wanting some good old fashioned revenge. Harper and Rowan getting sent to the back and Bray saying “I don’t need you to fight this WAR for me” sums everything up perfectly, because these two go to fucking war. Lots of stiff looking offence from both guys, combined with Bryan bumping around like a champ for Bray. Can’t say I’ve cared for Bray in the ring before, but damn he looked great here. Being in the ring with Bryan likely helped a lot, but Bray was great at making the match look like a fight and incorporating his character into the match. Irked me a little that Bray shrugged off the leg work from Bryan the moment he got in full control, but at the same time it didn’t bother me too much, if that makes any sense. Bray was so splendid in control that I didn’t care if he sold the leg longer or not. SPLASH TO THE HEAD~! RIGHT INTO THE RINGPOST~! Nice of them to work the recent concussion to Bryan into the match. Did they even mention that on TV btw? It was mentioned here after Bryan got squashed into the ring post but I don’t remember if it was brought up on Raw or anything. Another thing I really liked about the match is how Bray didn’t stick to just one body part. He gets control of the match by slamming Bryan arm first onto the apron. Then he squashes his head into the ring post. Then he attacks the mid-section. Normally I’d complain that whoever was in control was all over the place and confused about what they are doing, but it seems to work in Bray’s favour given his character. He’s a crazy psychopath who wants to HURT Bryan no matter what. PLUS you have Bryan refusing to just stay down and constantly makes little comeback attempts that force Bray to cut him off in different ways, so he doesn’t always have the TIME to focus on one part of the body without Bryan coming back at him. The head does eventually become more of a focal point though, mainly because of Bray’s finisher and the fact he uses it on the outside into the barricade which was fucking AWESOME. “WHY DIDN’T YOU HELP HIM?” Was a great line from Bray to the fans, who all just sat there and watched as he crushed the guy’s head into the ring post then splashed him. If they truly loved him then shouldn’t they have helped him? Oh and the creepy upside down spider walk thingy is awesome. Creepy but awesome. I do however await the day when someone kicks him right in the fucking FACE when he does it . THAT FUCKING CLOTHESLINE  !!! Sweet jebus was that awesome looking. Just another wonderful cut off spot from Bray. Really enjoyed how Bryan kept making those small comebacks, using his usual comeback offence, but never getting to do it all at once. He’d start doing one thing, then Bray would cut him off, then Brian would come back again with some more of his “moves of doom” stuff, and again he’d get cut off. Made a nice change from the basic “moves of doom” comeback and yet another thing I love to praise this match for. Fuck, there is just so much awesomeness to this match. There is still a ton of stuff I haven’t brought up because if I mentioned everything I liked I would have ended up with a play by play commentary of the match instead lol. So in the end, Bryan falls to Bray and Sister Abigail in the middle of the ring. Would I have liked Bryan to win? Of course. Am I particularly bothered that he didn’t? No. Because it isn’t going to hurt Bryan in the slightest. Bryan is OVER and that isn’t changing. Bray beating Bryan helps him infinitely more than it would help Bryan to beat him. The only complaint I have is how they had Bryan, the superuber over guy, in the first match of the night lose… which in all honestly teased the absolute shit out of everyone that he might show up again for the RR match and win. But that’s a rant for later. As far as this match goes… superb. ****1/4.

Match 2 – Brock Lesnar Vs The Big Show – I was fairly hyped for this one. These two have a history of good matches, so I was hoping for something super fun. Instead… Lesnar jumped Show before the bell and smashed the shit out of him with a chair. Then another chair. Show lands a WMD which DOESN’T knock Brock out (despite Michael Cole being a retard and screaming that he was knocked out…), which I have to say I fucking LOVED because it made Lesnar look like a BEAST. Show uses that time to rest and go after Brock with some more shots to the mid-section… then Lesnar powers him up, F-5 and wins. Then smashes another chair over Show over and over again. And honestly they really waste too much time on it. DID YOU KNOW? SHOW GAVE LESNAR HIS FIRST LOSS AT THE 2002 ROYAL RUMBLE EVENT!!! What? You didn’t know that? I don’t blame you, because it’s not a real thing. GREAT JOB AS ALWAYS, JERRY! I like the idea of the match; Lesnar beats down Show with a chair, Show hits WMD to make his comeback, Brock shakes it off and lands an F-5 and wins. But in execution they dragged it out FAR too fucking long. Big Show apparently might have been injured going into the match so this is their way out, but I definitely think it could have been done better. For what it was, I DID enjoy it, however I was expecting much more from them, and the amount of time spent on it drags the whole thing down. **.

Match 3 – Randy Orton Vs John Cena – So instead of sitting through this god awful on paper match live, I made some food, and watched an old episode of House. I was half way into an episode before the RR started so I continued with that, and I think I made the right choice. However, since this IS a WWEWHC match, I don’t feel right about skipping it, so it’s time to sit through what might be the least appealing “main event” match WWE could possibly throw at me.  DANIEL BRYAN chants before the bell even rings. Followed by “let’s go Cena CENA SUCKS” and then “YES YES YES YES” chants. So Bryan is definitely over as fuck in this match, and Cena has his usual mixed reaction… and Orton is completely ignores . SO LET’S CONTINUE TO PUSH ORTON AS THE TOP GUY YEY!!! Was that a “we want Angle” chant? And a “Y2J” one too? LOL. Orton Vs Cena is so bad people actually want ANGLE back. I did like how Orton stood there and soaked in the chants then started viciously kicking and headbutting Cena, like he was using the crowd’s hatred of this whole situation to motivate him. But the fans still don’t care about anything and move on to a “boring” chant and continue to absolutely ignore Orton’s existence . Orton keeps trying to use the crowd and bring them into the match, so that’s nice… but yeah, they just DON’T CARE. They, the PAYING WWE AUDIENCE, are telling WWE WHAT THEY WANT and WWE are IGNORING THEM EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. So they are just shitting over this terrible, force fed bullshit and rightly so. And it’s not like they are shitting over a good match either. Cena and Orton are doing fuck all to make this match worth sitting through. It’s just the same old shit from both guys. What the fuck? I swear there is like, an actual full MINUTE of Orton stood doing NOTHING while Cena is down on the match. Seriously. And the crowd were petty silent too . Yet another dull moment in this crapfest! Ref bump. Random shit. WE WANT DIVAS chant . THIS IS AWFUL chant . Commentators play it off as the crowd trying to get in Orton’s head or some bollacks. Ummm no. They are trying to get into Vince’s head, to tell him he’s a fucking MORON. Finisher fest that sucks. Lights go out, Wyatt’s show up, Orton takes advantage and wins. Wyatt’s beat down Cena to set up to what is apparently a WM match in the making. LOL. Crowd were the ONLY good thing in this match, and I don’t give STARS to crowds. DUD.

Match 4 – 30 Man Royal Rumble Match – RUMBLE TIME BITCHES! Punk is #1 of course, and #2 is Seth Rollins! Good pairing to start things off . Some really fun sequences her with both guys kicking each other around and shit. Sandow is #3. Yawn. CODY #4. Poor guy lost the tag belts in the pre-show. TO THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS. IN 2014. LOL. But seriously that was kinda bullshit. I like the NAO. I’m a fan of them being back atm. They’ve had some fun matches with Punk and Cody & Goldust and The Shield, but tag champs? Get the fuck out of here. And ending the Cody/Goldust reign on the fucking PRE-SHOW too? Bullshit. Sandow is gone. Good. KANE! KANE IS #5! He’s 1 elimination behind HBK for most total eliminations… so he gets eliminated by Punk before he can get even 1. HBK gotta hold on to that record I guess. Can’t have Kane breaking another RR record. Oh well. He still has most eliminations in a single rumble… . He’s been in the most consecutive Rumble matches at least. OMG #6 IS ALEXANDER RUSEV!!! HE’S THAT… DUDE. FROM NXT. THAT I’VE NEVER SEEN OR HEARD OF BEFORE IN MY LIFE. FUCK YES!!! THIS IS AWESOME *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* . But in all seriousness, he actually looks impressive. RR matches are a good way to debut certain guys imo, as it allows them to just come in and crush people, look dominant, hit a bunch of big moves and not be limited to some “wwe style” match where they need to apply a lame rest hold for 2 minutes in the middle of the match. SWAGGIE~! But more importantly, ZEB AND HIS AWESOME SIGN. “Kofi Kingston’s 6th Rumble match” said by Cole as Kofi comes in. Then he follows it up with “I miss-spoke, Kofi entered at #8 and this is his 6th Rumble match”. Uhhhh… how the FUCK did you miss-speak you fucking tard? great drinking game for this PPV is to take a shot every time a commentator fucks up. You’ll be dying of alcohol poisoning by the second match. Nobody makes it to the RR match. GOLDUST . 6 guys eliminate Rusev, which makes him look strong in defeat. Kofi gets launched on him and he places him on the barricade, which leads to the anual Kofi Rumble Spot. It was ok. Hard to surpass the hand walking thing tbh. I was actually hoping he’d miss it when I watched the show live . DEAN AMBROSE. So Seth entered the match from the crowd like always… but Dean enters from the entrance way? Oooook. Jim Duggan’s pick shows up at #12; Dolph Ziggler! I see the real Hacksaw is as stupid as his fake twitter account . Another Kofi isn’t eliminated spot. Urgh. KEVIN NASH. Nice to see him I guess. He eliminates SWAGGIE then goes after THE SHIELD and then… doesn’t really make a difference because #15 ROMAN FUCKING REIGNS lobs him out. Man oh man Reigns comes in looking awesome. He fucking DROPKICKS a guy who is on the apron by jumping up onto the apron with a dropkick and landing on the apron. Kinda hard to explain it exactly but it was awesome. SPEARS. ELIMINATIONS. AWESOMENESS. And then Khali shows up. The fuck is Khali still doing in the company?  I swear JBL is just sat on fucking Wikipedia so he can spout out random RR facts. Goldust accidentally runs into Cody and eliminates him! Then Goldust gets dumped out . Losing the tag titles and then the elimination is likely the beginning of the end of their tag team . SHEAMUS! YES! THE GREAT WHITE IS BACK! . Hope the guy gets right back into workhorse mode like last year before he got injured, and 2012. Cool to see him go at The Shield again after all this time. Miz. No reaction for him. Ha. Bad News Barrett mention. Didn’t Barrett enter himself into the RR on SD? The fuck happened there? Wait… why the fuck do I care? Fuck Barrett. And fuck Miz. Man, I forgot Punk was even still in this thing. The fuck has he been most of this match? Lazy shit. DANIEL BRYAN chants again as the countdown to #20 begins. El Torito ends up being the next entrant. Which is actually better than a lot of the other entrants so far lol. Guys take a bunch of bumps for the little guy and it’s kinda awesome tbh lol. Then he eliminates Fandango . Roman presses the midget bull over head and launches him into Fandango who takes a fucking hilariously bad bump. CESARO AND ZEB WITH A FOLLOW UP SIGN . GIANT SWING~! Punk with a drop kick to Miz while he’s getting swinged. Swingged. Swung. There we go. I felt a little queasy just watching poor Rollings get spun over 20 times. SPEAR TO CESARO~! Harper comes out and the crowd fall silent. LOL. Another Uso shows up and the crowd fucking DIE again, which is a shame because Cesaro and Harper have an awesome exchangeof uppercuts. JBL!!! JBL IS IN THE RR!!! He gets in, stands around, shouts to Cole to take his jacket and then gets eliminated and pretends like nothing ever happened ala Lawler in 97… which Lawler even brings up . I don’t like them wasting entrances on commentators, especially considering a certain someone doesn’t even enter… but I liked it here.  at the “you still got it” chants . Fans taking the piss, in what I would believe IS all in good fun . FUCK YES THE MIZ IS ELIMINATED . SHIELD AND WYATT STAREDOWN AND NOBODY GIVES A FUCK BECAUSE IT HAPPENS RIGHT AS SOMEONE ELSE IS ENTERING SO THAT WAS A FUCKING WASTE.  Ryback comes in and grabs Cesaro up to throw him into the corner… only to realise that all the corners are taken so he has to do his shoulder attack in the ropes . CESARO AND SHEAMUS. Ryback tries to get involved and Sheamus just punches him in the face and tells him to fuck off. “THAT WASN’T A MOVE. THAT WAS JUST “I’M GONNA THROW MY FIRST INTO YOUR FACE”. I do believe that’s known as a PUNCH Mr Jibble. #28 is none other than the Animal. Who looks fucking redicuous in his ring gear. Guy looks knackered running down to the ring… and he was only jogging .  Batista is absolutely FUCKED before #29 even comes out. Who happens to be BIG E who looks more oiled up than… I dunno… that Family Guy character. You know who I mean. Greased up deaf guy? Him. So watching this live, #30 was getting ready to come out. I couldn’t remember if anyone was left to come in that was announced. The fans were chanting YES beforehand. It GOTTA BE BRYAN, right? And then Rey comes out . And I remembered he was in it. Poor Rey gets absolutely BOOED OUT OF THE BUILDING because the fans were expecting Bryan. Gotta feel for poor Rey who was put in a lose lose situation. Didn’t matter who came out, the fact it wasn’t Bryan pissed off the fans to no end. And the fans just gave up on everything and everyone at this point. The WWE has once again IGNORED THEM and fucked them over. Could you imagine Austin not appearing in the 1998 RR match? Rock in 2000? How much fucking backlash would the company have gotten back then? So why on earth are they doing it to Bryan now? Guy is THE most over guy on the roster, and nobody even comes close, as popular as some guys are. Yet WWE are seemingly REFUSING TO PUSH HIM above the usual shit like Cena and Orton and HHH and Batista. Anyway, back to the match. Rey gets eliminated and the fans CHEER. Ambrose tries to sneak up behind REIGNS to eliminate him, but it doesn’t work, so Reigns eliminates Ambrose AND Rollins! And unfortunately that may spell the end of yet another team . Kane shows up again and eliminates Punk, then chokeslams him through a table, and the fans still don’t give a fuck because NO BRYAN. Didn’t help that Punk was a giant non factor throughout the match. He was barely doing ANYTHING. Final 3; Sheamus, Batista and ROMAN REIGNS. The fans are booing the SHIT out of this situation. NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! chants like fucking crazy. Poor Sheamus. Returns, gets a huge pop, and then is put in a situation, like Rey, where he’s gonna get booed to hell. Batista is kinda the same but fucking deserves it. REIGNS ELIMINATES SHEAMUS and with that breaks Kane’s record with TWELVE eliminations in a single match. And the whole thing is just glossed over like it’s fucking nothing. Batista and Reigns left, and the fans know they aren’t getting Bryan, so they decide to fully support the awesomeness of REIGNS because in this situation who the fuck else can they cheer for? I said prior to the event that as much as I love Reigns and do believe he’s gonna be a HUGE star… he has no business winning the Rumble match this year. Then it came down to him and Batista and I was 100% behind the guy.  at the horrendous spear attempt from Batista. Reigns shows him how it’s fucking DONE, BITCH. Then Batista eliminates Reigns and I’m sad and the fans shit all over the match once again and rightfully so. Batista can’t even stand up. Bullshit. However, outside of the DUMBEST FUCKING DECISON the company has made in some time… I really enjoyed this match. Right up until the finish, anyway . Disappointed we didn’t get JAKE ROBERTS though. But Reigns looked awesome throughout, SHEAMUS came back, El Torito was fun, Cesaro had some cool moments, plus a few other things. So overall I do think it was a very good Rumble. I just can’t believe the booking for the match and the whole show. ***3/4.

WWF Rebellion 2001

Christian Vs Edge – WWF Intercontinental Championship Steel Cage Match

OLD SCHOOL CAGE . Because apparently it was easier to bring over to the UK than the normal one .

IC title is on the line, even though Christian already has the European title. Who does he think he is, HHH?

Who the fuck set up the cage? I swear it’s wonky.

One thing I do like about the old school cage is how it looks like it ACTUALLY HURTS when someone gets smashed into it. The newer mesh cages have too much give and doesn’t look painful at all. Here they are just smashing into METAL BARS.

The fuck? Edge just hit a Spear… that didn’t look shit? HOLY FUCK!

Standard stuff from these 2, which isn’t very good unfortunately. I liked the finish at least with Edge tying Christian’s feet together through the cage while he was close to winning. With Christian tied up, Edge was free to escape.

A disappointing showing from these 2 as usual. Maybe that ladder match will be good this time around. Probably not though.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

Oh look, it’s Chavo Guerrero Jr. He’s so shitty he’s not even wrestling tonight. He’s interviewing divas. Hugh Morris claims he is interviewing divas. They agree to do it together. They walk into the divas locker room and walk in on Trish topless. Sadly she’s facing the other way then covers up. Well that was pointless. Just like Chavo Jr’s career!

Scotty 2 Hotty Vs The Hurricane

You know WWE take the WWF PPV’s seriously when we get a SCOTTY 2 HOTTY match!

Surprised they didn’t save this one for WM. Imagine this in front of 68,000 fans in the Toronto SkyDome! Hogan and Rock’s reaction would look like shit!

OMG DUDLEYS VS HARDYS VS APA for the tag titles later tonight . Oh yeah, these 2 are having a match. They do moves and stuff. Why is the WCW referee’s shirt grey? Weren’t they white before? Did he wash it with his black referee trousers and the colour came out or something?

“THE HURRICANE MOCKING SCOTTY’S WORM!!!”

Everything following the Hurricane’s attempt at a Worm is good. Unfortunately that’s the only part of the match I cared for. And it was the finish . Scotty wins with his Worm.

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

Back with Trish (clothed now. BOOOOO) and the jobbers. She’s gonna get Lita for them for an interview. BRA AND PANTIES! BRA AND PANTIES! FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

DDP. His Positively Page gimmick was hilarious.

DDP Vs The Big Show

Heyman: “He helped me get over my sarcasm!”

JR: “It’s not working…”

Heyman: “IT’S NOT? I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!”

So this is fucking FUN as shit. Show uses his size and power to dominate DDP. DDP takes some crazy shots from Show. Tries to go after the leg of the giant, but fails because Show is just big and powerful. DIAMOND CUTTER~! CHOKESLAM~!

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Back to the jobber perves. They walk in on MIGHTY MOLLY. She screams because they caught her WITHOUT HER CAPE. Those monsters!

 at Angle. Even turning heel and joining the Alliance he’s still a total goofball.

The Dudley Boys Vs The Hardy Boys Vs The APA – WCW Tag Team Championship Elimination Match

I hope the Hardy Boys are eliminated first, but I know they won’t be .

APA rock the fucking world in this until they get eliminated . They don’t give a shit if it’s the Dudleys or the Hardys. SPINBUSTERS. CLOTHESLINE FROM HELLS. STIFF SHOTS. SUPER FALL AWAY SLAM.

And then Matt fucking Hardy pins Farooq . I WANT MORE APA!!

“D-VON JUST ATE HIM SOME WOOD”. What a puff .

Jeff takes a pretty good beating from the Dudleys. Mainly Bubba. How did I not see the greatness in Bubba all those years ago? I always thought he just got good in TNA when he reinvented himself as Bully Ray. Nope. Guy was always fucking great.

Hot tag comes and man oh man, things go from good to pretty freaking awesome. These guys know how to do a finishing stretch. 3-D! Dudleys retain the belts.

Man, how consistent were The Hardys, Dudleys, and even E&C (broken up at this point I know) in tag matches in 2000 and 2001? Very rare we got anything less than fun from them. This was good. APA ruled too. If only they lasted longer!

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

Video package showing the implosion (continued) of Rock and Jericho. TEST PINNED THE ROCK AND WON THE TAG TEAM TITLES . And damn, how much of a CUNT is Rock in all this? Still never understood how he was ever a face lol. He’s such an unlikeable twat!

William Regal Vs Tajiri

Loved Regal’s theme music around this time. Sounds so classy yet EVIL at the same time.

 Regal Vs Tajiri. Oh man this should rock the fucking world.

I can fap to this.

My god THOSE KICKS. Everyone needs a little Tajiri in their lives. RIGHT NOW.

KNEE TREMBLER~!

MORE KICKS~!

REGAL STRETCH~!

This was fecking awesome. Can’t wait to watch their Survivor Series match again too .

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

Chris Jericho Vs Kurt Angle – WCW Championship Match

Jericho is the WCW Champion. Somewhere in the world Eric Bischoff is crying .

Early stuff with Jericho in control is pretty damn good tbh. Then Angle hits an OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY and he gets in control, and does a good job too. SUPLEXES~!

Angle goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Jericho is able to counter before Angle can lock it in. One thing I’ve noticed a few times during my PPV ramblings is that Jericho does a great job of showing that the Walls is HIS hold and he knows exactly how to counter it so it can’t be used against him. More people need to protect their finishers like that tbh. Then it would be more meaningful when someone STEALS it.

Fun little finishing stretch, and the roll up out of an Angle Slam attempt was nice too. Better than just doing a basic sunset flip type roll up out of it.

Really good match. I enjoyed it a bunch. Their best match together probably.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

Lita & Torrie Wilson Vs Stacy Keibler & Might Molly – Special Guest Referee Trish Stratus

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

LITA JUST CAME TO STACY~!

Damn, nice… REVERSAL by Molly to counter the Poetry in Motion attempt by Lita! Didn’t matter in the end though as a Twist of Fate put an end to Molly.

This was… fairly decent. And fap worthy.

Rating: *1/2
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Steve Austin Vs The Rock – WWF Championship Match

These 2 had an absolute classic at WM earlier in the year. This… well unless I think it’s good on this watch, is far, far away from being a classic. I remember this being utter trash.

Shitty brawling. [/review]

Seriously. That’s pretty much ALL this match is. Rock’s punches have never been what I would call great, but damn, he fucking SUCKS here with them. Austin doesn’t really seem on top of his game either. Did LOL at him jumping on the turnbuckle and flipping off the fans though .

 then Austin flips off Henber and he flips him off right back. Then Austin flips off all the fans again . Yep, so far Austin flipping fans off has been the best parts of this match.

Fuck me, this is DULL. Shitty brawling followed by REST HOLDS. Wake me up when this one is over, please. Or just let me sleep for a while. Then I can wake up all refreshed and watch something GOOD instead.

Urgh, that ref bump is HORRIBLE. Rock goes to clothesline Austin. Austin ducks. Rock puts his arm down… then PUTS HIS ARM BACK UP AND CLOTHESLINES THE REFEREE. The fuck was that shit?

 at Hebner selling it though. He’s out cold half way out of the ring.

Fuck me, that Sharpshooter from AUSTIN. Makes Rock’s version look good. THINK ABOUT IT. That’s just how bad Austin’s is here.

 then Rock reverses it into his own Sharpshooter than makes the one Austin just applied look like Bret Hart’s .

Angle shows up. Chair to The Rock from behind. Jericho shows up, grabs the chair and takes out Angle. Rock gets up and thinks JERICHO did it and attacks him. ROCK BOTTOM TO AUSTIN. No referee still. LOL. Suck it, Rock.

Angle is back in. And then out again.

People’s Elbow is stopped by Angle. Title shot to the head. Stunner. Austin retains. Yey!

Wow. This is worse than I remember. Last 2 minutes or so are pretty good as far as interferences go for a finish. Everything else was bad or dull or both.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

Overall CAL SCALE – 9

WWF Unforgiven 2001

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!!

The Hardy Boys Vs The Hurricane & Lance Storm Vs Spike Dudley & The Big Show Vs The Dudley Boys – WWF Tag Team Championship Elimination Match

 how fucking RANDOM is the team of Hurricane and Storm… WAIT I JUST GOT IT!!!  (totally serious btw, I only JUST got it when I typed that out  ).

Big Show and Jeff Hardy knock the Dudleys off the apron before they can make it into the ring. Show goes out after them while Jeff looks like he’s gonna follow… then doesn’t. Then the other babyfaces just kinda stand and watch Big Show attack both Dudley Boys on his own .

 Bubba gets in with Spike, and starts to line himself up for a big elbow drop… then just stops, walks over to Spike and STANDS ON HIS HEAD. What a PRICK .

HURRICANE WITH THE HURRICAPE! OMG HE JUST FLEW!

Spike dives off of Show’s shoulders to the outside. Looks impressive. Then BIG SHOW points at the corner and starts to climb!!! Then Bubba cuts him off .

HURRICANE GONNA CHOKESLAM THE BIG SHOW!!! Or not. Storm gets a chokeslam though, and there go the New Natural Disasters.

Wanna play a game? It’s called “guess who the referee is for this FOUR TEAM ELIMINATION TAG MATCH”. Answers can be sent on the back of a postcard to

PO BOX Obvious
Wrestling Answer
Duhville
Who Else But Teddy Long
WWE 123

Spike just got pinned while I wrote that. Nobody cares.

Just found the gif for this ramble:

 at Teddy Long taking a stupid amount of time to go for a cover before he was waiting for Jeff to climb the ropes. Then Jeff breaks up the count with a Swanton to D-Von’s LEGS.

Those DAMN DUDLEYS get the win with a BUBBA BOMB.

Match is alright. Nothing special, nothing bad.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

STEPHANIE (fap fap) is OFFERING HER SERVICES to RVD tonight. She wants to know if she can help in ANY way. He turns her down. The fuck is up with him? He high or something? Actually he probably is…

KURT ANGLE’S MUM. ERIC ANGLE. ANGLE’S FAMILY. LOOK AT HOW MUCH IT LOOKS LIKE I CARE BECAUSE I’M WRITING IN CAPS. WAIT NOT ERIC ANGLE, THIS IS DAVE. DAVE ANGLE.

Perrty Saturn Vs Raven

This match has come about because Raven and Terri killed Moppy. THEY KILLED MOPPY! THOSE BASTARDS!!!

“THE MAN IS FIGHTING OVER THE MEMORY OF A MOP!”

Somewhat decent brawl match thingy. Saturn wins. Moppy is still dead. Who cares?

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

Edge Vs Christian – WWF Intercontinental Championship Match

CHRISTIAN! CHRISTIAN! AT LAST! YOU’RE ON! YOU’RE OWN!!!

Edge is angry. Lots of HATE~! and then Christian makes him look retarded by getting him to charge full steam ahead at him in the corner, only for Christian to move and Edge to smash into the ring post. LOL.

Edge is bleeding and I don’t know why. Nothing has happened to warrant blood, so must have happened the hard way by accident. But fuck knows when lol.

Match seems far too back and forth-y to me, but not in a “they are brothers and know each other so well” way. Just a “oh look Edge is in control. And now Christian is in control. Back to Edge” kinda way.

Christian goes for a Conchairto. Edge sweeps out his legs, then goes got it himself, only for the referee to take the chair away. Christian low blows Edge with the other chair, and WINS THE IC CHAMPIONSHIP!

Well this kinda sucked. Can’t say I ever thought they had much chemistry as opponents tbh. Never liked this match much, don’t think anything to their ladder match (I’ll get to that soon), and didn’t even think their Raw… 2010(?) match was anything special either.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

The Undertaker & Kane Vs Kronik – WCW Tag Team Championship Match

Fuck, thought this match happened at No Mercy. Thought I was gonna be able to avoid it for a little while still .

CRUSH & ADAM BOMB VS UNIBOMB & MEAN MARK CALLOUS.

Weird seeing Undertaker holding the WCW tag belts.

 with the exception of a few punches and kicks (but certainly not all of them…), Kronik seem to fuck up EVERYTHING they do. It all looks terrible. Either fake as shit or botched to hell or both.

This isn’t TERRIBLE or “worst match ever” kind of bad, just dull when Kronik are in control, and filled with hilarious botches thanks to Kronik . Undertaker getting legitimately fucked off towards the end is awesome.

Steven Richards stuff after the match is awesome at least.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

STEPHANIE (fap fap fap fap fap) backstage looking for RVD to once again tell him that his experience in the Alliance with be a pleasurable one if he beats Jericho tonight. I like how STEPHANIE asks COACH, a WWF guy, where RVD’s locker room is and they both act like the very best of friends .

RVD Vs Chris Jericho – WWF Hardcore Championship Match

Hardcore title match .

They do a bunch of mat work early on, all basic stuff but looks good I guess. Doesn’t really do anything or mean anything though. I did have to laugh at Jericho having to tell the referee to COUNT at one point. Another reason Jericho hates Tim White…

Jericho smashes RVD’s arm into the ring post 3 times in a row, then suplexes him ON A LADDER. 10 seconds later RVD has enough strength in his arm and shit to counter another suplex on the ladder into his own. Good old RVD…

 at Tim White running over when Jericho looks to try for the Walls, just because at the same time RVD’s shoulders are down and he doesn’t want Jericho to scream at him again .

KICK TO THE FACE. Jericho is busted open. I swear he’s the third person so far on this show to bleed around the eye somewhere lol.

 at RVD purposely bending over on top of the ladder so Jericho can throw the chair into his face. WALLS OF JERICHO ON THE LADDER~! The bump RVD takes off the ladder to the outside afterwards looks more impressive tbh. As does Jericho’s bump off the ladder into the barricade when RVD moves!

Pfft, RVD, what a pussy. Gets his hands up on a suicide dive when Jericho holds up a chair. Benoit never got his hands up and look how he turned out!

ARMBAR~!

STEPAHNIE FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP. She comes down to help RVD, Jericho nearly decks her with a chair (what a CUNT btw), but she ducks and RVD kicks him in the face. 5 Star Frog Splash and STEPHANIE gets an early birthday present!

This is really good overall. Couple of dodgy bits here and there, but nothing to ruin the match. Glad this held up because I liked it a lot on my last watch.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

The Rock Vs Booker T & Shane McMahon – WCW Championship Match

Urgh. The Rock. Urgh. Booker T. Yey. Shane McMahon.

RIC FLAIR MENTION. All downhill from here .

Booker and Rock do stuff in the ring and it kinda sucks. Shane keeps attacking Rock on the outside and it kinda rocks. This should have been Shane Vs Rock. Would have been good probably.

 at Rock trying to take a snapmare.  at Booker T having some kind of a fit while setting up a knee drop. Christ these guys SUCK. And they ain’t doing nothing to change my opinion in this match lol.

Bah, they set up the Shane elbow off the ropes through a table spot but Rock fucks that up and we don’t see it. People’s Champion my arse. GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT WE WANT. WE WANT TO SEE YOU GO THROUGH A TABLE AND DIE.

Shane decks Booker with the WCW belt by mistake. Then hits Rock. Shane might make mistakes but he sure makes up for it! 

KIP UP BY SHANE~!

TEST~! He fucking decks Rock to break up a People’s Elbow attempt (woo) then levels him with a Big Boot. BRADSHAW~! He chases after Test. NICK PATRICK~! The referee actually drags Rock back in the ring . No bias in this match!

Mike Cheoda (fuck knows how you spell his name) drags Shane off The Rock during a cover! He’s a fair and impartial referee! Then he takes out Nick! Then Booker T takes him out! Rock Bottom. Down comes Earl Henber and he counts the 3.

Shane and the referee stuff were literally the best parts of this match. More Shane was needed to make this match good though. Booker stunk up the joint and Rock was his usual shitty self too. He and Booker did not mix well. Shane stops this being THAT bad though. Terrible for a major title match, but a decentish match overall I guess.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

STACY KEIBLER IN THE BATH FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

Rhyno Vs Tajiri – WCW United States Championship

 Totally didn’t remember this was on this show!!!

My god Tajiri’s kicks are epic.

My god Rhyno’s spinebuster is epic.

 at Torrie (fap fap) trying to run in heels, pretty sure she actually hurts herself.

GORE TO TORRIE… STOPPED BY A KICK TO THE FUCKING FACE BY TAJIRI. Now THAT was EPIC.

GORE! GORE! GORE!

This one is over. Rhyno becomes the NEW United States Champion! Second best match of the night so far lol… with one more to go . Tons of fun and some ungodly kicks.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

Steve Austin Vs Kurt Angle – WWF Championship Match

Awesome video package for this match. Build up was great. Though Angle needs to take better care of his Medals. He got them stolen TWICE in 2001.

Their SummerSlam match was epic (god I can’t wait to watch that again  ). This match is in Angle’s hometown. His family are in the front row. This isn’t too long after the September 11 attack. Angle is the AMERICAN HERO. I wonder who is gonna win…

SD just days before, Austin gave Angle a PILEDRIVER ON THE CONCRETE. Angle showed up at the end of the show to say he couldn’t be stopped. And he’s showing zero effects so far in this match. And you know what? I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. Because the whole angle was just done fantastically and didn’t come across as the big babyface no selling shit and being all superman. I know, crazy right? WWE CAN actually book babyfaces strong without them turning into some generic superman character!

Angle is on FIRE early on, just destroying Austin. Then after a superplex we see Angle hold his neck, showing signs that he might not be 100%. And I like that he started showing pain in the neck there because it was the first move that would actually do damage to it.

Man, Angle is ALL OVER Austin for a large portion of the first half of this one. Beating the shit out of Austin. Throwing Austin off the stage, and then a great callback to SS by smashing Austin face first into the ring post a few times. And then he rips up the mat to expose the concrete floor, but Austin knows exactly what’s about to happen so he charges at Angle and takes him out. He don’t want no Piledriver on the floor! He does however take a back body drop on the floor, then Angle follows up with HEATBUTTS~! Pretty sure Angle busted Austin open the HARD WAY with those.

Angle ends up taking a back body drop on the concrete too and he takes it like a MAN… which makes one SICK fucking sound as his spine cracks on the floor. Now THAT is one hell of a way to transition into Austin’s control segment.

Is this NO DQ? No Countout? Because they’ve been battling outside of the ring for like, 10 minutes now .

Damn. DDT by Angle and Austin rolls out to the floor… and lands HARD on the concrete. Methinks he might have forgotten about the exposed concrete down there .

STUNNER TO AUSTIN!

PILEDRIVER TO ANGLE! Best Piledriver near fall of the decade… until that ROH (I think) match between… 2 guys I can’t remember. SHUT UP IT DOES EXIST. Someone will remind me.

Angle just won’t give up though, and after surviving the Piledriver, he counters a Stunner into the Ankle Lock and AUSTIN TAPS OUT! NEW WWF CHAMPION!!!

Great match, yet still doesn’t hold a candle to their SS encounter. 

Rating: ****1/4
CAL SCALE – 6

Overall CAL SCALE – 12

King of the Ring 2001

‘TAKER, I’M BEGGING YA… MAKE ME FAMOUS!!!

I don’t think I’ve ever been happier knowing that the main event here is an uneventful triple threat (based on last viewing of course). Why? Because for some reason I had it in my head that this was the KOTR with Undertaker Vs HHH .

PPV kicks off with DDP’s music playing (how the fuck did he get someone to do that btw lol?) and him running through the crowd into the ring. He wants to let Undertaker know that he has arrived. New drinking game: take a shot every time DDP says “I mean” during this promo.

Kurt Angle Vs Christian – King of the Ring Semi Final Match

Holy mother of jebus. THAT THROW by Angle. Gonna gif that bad boy:

Some pretty loud “Let’s go Angle” chants. Cheering Angle over Christian? MONSTERS!!!

Well I can’t blame em. I was high on Kurt during this time. I still like a bulk of his 2001 work too. Just the Benoit stuff that is EXTREMELY hit and miss lol.

Match is… solid. Nothing more really until the finishing stretch. Angle gets the Ankle Lock on Christian, so Christian literally CRAWLS OVER THE REFEREE to reach the ropes . Sweet Angle Slam counter into the UNPRETTIER, then SHANE MCMAHON pulls Christian out and allows Angle to win this match and advance to the KOTR Finals! Why? To make sure Angle will have already wrestled 2 matches before their street fight later tonight.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

KURT ANGLE HAS BUTT IMPLANTS. Non PG signs = .

Edge Vs Rhyno – King of the Ring Semi Final Match

I miss Rhyno. I miss Rhyno as hardcore champion. I miss the hardcore title. I miss hardcore matches. This should have been a hardcore title match. Who is the hardcore champion at this time?

Rhyno should have won KOTR. I mean, did it REALLY do anything for Edge? The Invasion Angle pretty much began at this show with Booker T showing up in the main event, so everything was focused there. Then E&C broke up so Edge feuded with Christian. Then he won the IC title and feuded with Regal. All these things could have and probably would have been done regardless of the KOTR victory. Rhyno winning KOTR could have kept him around in a more active role. Plus, the WWF KOTR winner in the Alliance? Could have been something to work off too.

These two go back to when they were first getting into the business and know each other really well, and work really well together too. Some really good stuff from the two. Edge busts out some shit he doesn’t usually do and Rhyno looks like a threat to win the KOTR.

SPEAR! GORE! AT THE SAME TIME! HEADBUTT EACH OTHER! Man, we need duelling Spear spots more often. Big Show uses a sort of spear, and Reigns uses a spear. Imagine those two crashing into each other? 

An exposed turnbuckle that Rhyno tried to use ends up being his downfall, and one DDT later sees Edge as the winner. Good stuff.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

The Dudley Boys Vs Spike & Kane – WWF Tag Team Championship Match

Urgh, Dudleys Vs Spike feud. God, Spike sucked so bad. Was he ever good? And yey, Kane is in this match. Which means no IC title match on the card. WHAT A GREAT USE OF KANE.

 at Bubba launching Spike into Kane… only for Kane to catch him and lob him back, where poor Bubba isn’t strong enough to stay on his feet.

Spike is at least amusing to see get killed. Bubba powers him around like a little bitch. D-Von… well he does stuff too I’m sure. Tag to Kane. He kills D-Von with a punch. A nasty looking punch though. Really nasty. So nasty it looks like D-Von is out of it lol.

Oh hey, just noticed Teddy is the ref. CLOUD NINE FOR TEDDY LONG.

I swear the ONLY things Spike adds to this match is being lobbed around like a loser. I mean that in a good way, though.

3-D and Spike loses. Table comes out and Kane puts Bubba through it.

Entertaining enough.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Kurt Angle Vs Edge – King of the Ring Finals Match

Angle tries to convince Edge to lay down for him so Edge doesn’t have to get his BUTT KICKED by Angle, and Angle can rest up for his street fight later. For some reason Edge doesn’t go along with it.

OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY OVER THE ROPES!

Edge’s ribs or something near there be injured going into this match after Rhyno gave him a good going over in their previous match. So Angle’s crazy suplex offence kinda works here and… oh wait, sleeper. GOTTA GET THAT SLEEPER HOLD IN. Ok, that works too given Edge’s “injury” but still. YAWNATHON.

Pretty awesome sequence going from an Angle Slam attempt into a DDT attempt into an Ankle Lock attempt into a pin.

CHRISTIAN! He’s here to help Edge, but it doesn’t work so he just goes back up the ramp lol.

REF BUMP~! ANKLE LOCK~! TAP OUT~! Angle is technically a two time KOTR winner. But of course the ref never saw it. SHANE~! SPEAR~! DDT~! EDGE IS THE KING OF THE RING.

This was decent. Just found myself with bugger all to write about lol. Was standard stuff for the most part, but easy to sit through.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

Jeff Hardy Vs X-Pac – WWF Light Heavyweight Championship Match

Remember when Jeff was the LH champ? Me either.

FULLY LOADED advertised as the next PPV. LIES!

FLIPS! SPINS! JUMPS!

You know that spot where Jeff runs on the barricade and dives onto his opponent? Kinda seems pointless if he has to stop for balance before he jumps .

 X-Pac grabbing the ropes during an abdominal stretch. He starts bumping and grinding for added leverage and Jeff is screaming like a bitch and it just looks like RAPE to me.

Jeff gets his own back for the RAPE by straddling the corner with his nuts in X-Pac’s face, then takes off his shirt. So X-Pac hits the X-Factor and gets the win! Bah, Jeff’s foot was on the ropes. Match continues.

Sweeeeet counter to avoid the X-Factor a second time.

Swanton, and Jeff wins. Which actually surprised me because I thought X-Pac was winning lol. This was… fun. That is all.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

The Undertaker Vs DDP

Don’t care if this is technically a match or not. It was a heavily built FIGHT for the PPV so I’m treating it as such.

Undertaker has been playing mind games with Page all night, showing footage of DDP in the same way DDP was showing footage of Sara. Eventually when Page snaps Undertaker decides to come out and give him the beating he deserves. Undertaker takes his time coming down to the ring, even stopping to put on his VINTAGE~! MMA style gloves. PAGE GONNA GET GOT!

Page gets his face caved in as you might expect. He gets a low blow in and a couple of punches, then Undertaker gets back in control. SARA shows up to film the whole thing on a handheld camera. She would later get sued by WWE for recording a PPV illegally .

 the time keeper dies.

STEEL CHAIR TO UNDERTAKER~!

SPEAR TO PAGE OVER THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~!

“THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO BE FAMOUS BITCH. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT”

Huge boot to the face and DDP fucks off. He don’t need this crap!

I like this. Undertaker destroys someone. What’s NOT to love?

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Kurt Angle Vs Shane McMahon – Street Fight

SPEAR! What a way to start this match, especially after all the SPEARS we’ve seen already tonight and the fact I watched about 15 minutes of SPEAR compilation videos earlier .

Oh man, Angle just thows Shane around for the first minute. Oh man, then Shane’s little comeback is SPECTACULAR. Busts angle open above the eye and in the mouth. Awesome.

Love how Angle uses his overhead belly to belly suplex as a “revenge” move almost here. He hates Shane and wants to fuck him up. SUPLEX~! And it actually works because Angle delivers it wonderfully and Shane really goes the extra mile himself taking it.

SHANE IS BLEEDING TOO.

The amateur wrestling spots are great too. Angle dares Shane to try him, Shane goes for it and gets mauled. Angle lets him try again, so Shane kicks the fuck out of him because he’s not THAT stupid.

“Shane leaping right over is, RIGHT INTO KURT ANGLE’S FACE!”

 I think Shane just SPEARED Angle’s leg.

 Shane falls over trying to lock in a Sharpshooter. Still looks better than Rocks .

SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO A TRASH CAN. HOLY SHIT. Shane didn’t even land on his head. Shane > Lesnar.

Speaking of Shane landing on his head… holy FUCK how did Angle not legit KILL Shane with those suplex attempts? Apparently (according to Angle, so fuck knows if it’s true) they put the wrong glass in, so instead of the “easy to break” stuff… it was just actual glass. And much harder to break. So Angle just had to keep throwing Shane anyway .

But yeah, this whole thing looks spectacular. The first suplex through the glass is amazing, then Angle has to resort to just throwing Shane through the second bit, which cuts both of them to fucking SHREDS. Mega probs to Shane for taking all this shit. And even Angle too because his back and arm are FUCKED UP.

SUPER ANGLE SLAM USING A WOODEN BOARD TO HELP~!

Great finish. Great match. So brutal. Love it. Shane’s best match, one of Kurt’s best matches. Fuck those cunts who hate this (Yes, you. I remember that you shit on this match you whore!).

Rating: ****1/2
CAL SCALE – 7

Steve Austin Vs Chris Jericho Vs Chris Benoit – WWF Championship Match

So, if HHH didn’t get injured… would this have been a 4 way? A tag with everything on the line like Backlash? Or would just one of them (Benoit hopefully) have gotten a title match with the other (Jericho, duh) going up against HHH?

“Rumours” all night going around that if Benoit or Jericho win the title tonight they are defecting to WCW. You know, WCW. That company that is literally just a logo and a few guys on contracts. No shows or anything. BUT THEY NEED A CHAMPION. LOL.

AUSTIN GETTING KNIFE EDGED TO DEATH~!

Urgh. This is dull. Just a lot of stomping in the corner. Then Jericho gets suplexed out of the ring and disappears for about 10 minutes while Benoit and Austin do… absolutely nothing noteworthy beyond Benoit hitting Austin with a Stunner, and the revelation that Austin can’t take his own finisher properly .

Austin tries for a Walls of Jericho on Jericho but Jericho knows how to block it, and fuck, Austin ends up going head first into the mat and you can see he’s pissed as he smashes his fist onto the mat. STUPID, STUPID! 

And we’re back to dull again.

Benoit brings in a chair. “THIS IS NOT A NO DQ MATCH!”. He decks Jericho by accident. Ref doesn’t give a shit. LOL.

Austin starts superplexing Jericho from all the corners, but gets stopped by Benoit on the third. Always liked that little spot in Jericho and Austin’s singles match at NWO 02.

Austin taps out! To BOTH Benoit and Jericho at the same time. So uhh… both are champions? They did it with the IC title in 2000. Why not the WWF Title in 2001? 

BOOKER T! He attacks Austin and puts him through a table, and injures Austin, something I didn’t know about until the Austin doc last year (or the year before? I dunno)! Way to go Booker, not only do you suck but you just injured the top guy in WWF.

Worst. Lionsault. Ever.

MOONSAULT by Jericho. Not often we see that. You know, Lionsault aside which is essentially a moonsault.

BACK SUPERPLEX. BYE BYE BENOIT’S NECK.

Never realised that the suplex that takes Benoit’s neck out happens right at the very end of the match. He hits the move, he doesn’t move, Austin covers him and that’s that.

Bulk of this match is soooo fucking dull. Had its moments no doubt but overall kinda blows. Hard.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

Overall CAL SCALE – 11