Month: March 2014

Insurrextion 2002

I remember nothing of this event. Except the Main Event. Which I wish I could forget.

 

Eddie Guerrero Vs Rob Van Dam – WWF Intercontinental Championship Match

Their BL match was great. Their ladder match on Raw later on is great. Not sure about their JD match, I’ll get to that soon. But this? No idea. Hope it rocks though!

 they do a spot where RVD tries for a leg sweep, but he COMPLETELY MISSES… and Eddie has some crazy delayed reaction and still “jumps” to avoid it… after RVD did it . Legit burst out laughing at that one. 

Eddie works the neck of RVD in this one, as it was a NECK BREAKER on the IC title belt at Backlash that led to Eddie winning the belt. So smart for him to focus on it this time around. Plenty of brutal elbows to the back of the neck, and a sleep hold too that makes sense to use rather than to rest. RVD gets his foot on the ropes and the ref does a 5 count and Eddie is a complete cunt and only just let go before the bell was gonna get rung lol. Yeah, he could have retained his belt there, but Eddie wants to retain by BEATING RVD to prove he’s better and he has the better FROG SPLASH too.

Just as Eddie is really working over the neck, RVD starts a comeback with those big kicks, so Eddie dropkicks the knee, see’s RVD is hurting and goes right for it! Normally when someone switches up their focus in a match it sucks, but when there is a good reason, like here, I love it . Shows that Eddie will capitalise on ANYTHING if he finds an opening.

Aaaand RVD just killed the ENTIRE match by completely 100% no selling EVERYTHING to make a comeback. Not even so much as a shake of the leg. NOTHING. Eddie is fucked off and gets himself DQ’d. Don’t blame him .

Ok, so th DQ was most likely because he realised that after everything he’d done to RVD, the guy still came back and was THIS close to taking the title.

 at Eddie chasing the referee after he DQ’s him.

Match isn’t that good. RVD’s lack of everything ruins it. Eddie was great though.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Trish Stratus & Jacqueline Vs Molly Holly & Jazz

NO.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Bradshaw Vs X-Pac

Guessing this is payback for the Backlash match when X-Pac helped Hall beat Bradshaw.

X-Pac should have totally worn the Kane match in his matches. Looked awesome on him lol.

 DAMN at that first right hand Bradshaw connects with on X-Pac’s face.

DAMN at X-Pac dishing out one hell of a beating to Bradshaw! Kicks to the leg to take him down, then he SMASHES his face repeatedly into an exposed turnbuckle and busts the big Texan open!

 at Bradshaw’s comeback. PUNCHES THE FUCK OUT OF X-PAC’S FACE. Again. SHOULDER BLOCK OFF THE ROPES~!

X-Pac nearly flies through the ropes after Bradshaw POWERS OUT of a pin. Awesome. FALL AWAY SLAM~!

Hall shows up even though X-Pac told him to stay backstage. Prevents Bradshaw from doing a powerbomb, then clocks Bradshaw with NUN CHUCKS and BRADSHAW KICKS OUT!!!

CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! X-Pac ducks and Bradshaw keeps on going and decks Hall! X-Pac ends up getting the win in the end though.

This was pretty good. Bradshaw is awesome and beating people up, and X-Pac is good on offence + making Bradshaw bleed helped make him look like a credible threat to the big Texan.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 

UNDERTAKER INTERVIEW . Probably better than his match later tonight. *sigh*

 

Steven Richards Vs Booker T – WWF Hardcore Championship Match

 Hardcore title match!

 Booker T comes out and he looks CONFUSED AS FUCK during his entire entrance .

 Richards hits an arm drag and celebrates like he won the match.

TRASH CAN LID TO THE BACK OF STEVEN’S HEAD . Makes one hell of a SICK sound .

 GOAT bump from a trash can to the face from Richards.

 at Booker throwing the trash can at Steven then kicking it… except he misses the trash can and just connects with a normal kick . Has Maffew uploaded this entire event as a Botchamania video yet? 

 WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Steven was in the ropes, Booker walks over to him… then somehow ends up going over the ropes but Richards put like, zero effort into doing… anything .

Why is there a fucking SLEEPER HOLD in my hardcore match? GTFO with that bollacks.

Urgh, Lawler spouting out random “English” phrases and words. Getting the meaning wrong half the time or just sounding like a twat 100% of the time.

Huh. This is unusual. I’M BORED DURING A HARDCORE MATCH.

HOLY FUCK at Steven’s superkick!

Book End and Booker T wins the hardcore title.  then CRASH HOLLY shows up and wins it.  then Booker hits a Scissors Kick while he’s celebrating and wins it back.  then Dreamer and Credible show up and attack him. Booker fights back and keeps the title this time. Then Jazz shows up with Steven again and they botch a table spot, have to re-do it, then Steven wins the belt back .

Well overall this blew giant chunks. Botches, dumb spots and a fucking SLEEPER HOLD DURING A GOD DAMN HARDCORE MATCH. Too much Booker T and not enough weapons. Got DULL during parts, and the stuff AFTER the match originally ends is more exciting.

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

The Hardy Boys Vs Brock Lesnar & Shawn Stasiak

THE FUCK IS STASIAK DOING IN THIS? How does he still have a job after his Invasion crap? 

Stasiak is the original VIPER. THE VOICES ARE TALKING TO HIM.

 Heyman basically tells him he’s shit and says the plan for the match is for him to stay on the apron while Brock does everything. Turns out Heyman handpicked him to actually just STAY ON THE APRON .

LITA is unable to be on the show because he just had neck surgery after she broke it filming Dark fucking pile of shit Angel.

 Stasiak runs down to the ring like a “special person” decides to start things off!

Lawler: “I DO WHAT THE VOICES IN MY PANTS TELL ME TO DO”… the fuck is wrong with you Jerry? What the fuck is wrong with this entire fucking show for that matter?

Lesnar finally tags in and starts to FUCK SHIT UP in a good way. A very fucking good way .

 Lesnar goes into the ring post, and Stasiak starts spazzing out as the voices tell him to TAG. So he does. And gets his arse kicked. Seriously, why was this guy kept around DURING the Invasion… never mind AFTER.

Stasiak gets pinned. LESNAR LOST! Just not by being pinned. Did they mention this as a loss for him? I only seem to recall them bringing up getting DQ’d against RVD at vengeance as his first “official” loss.

Lesnar kills everyone after the match including Stasiak. Match was fun mostly.

Rating: *1/2
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

Spike Dudley Vs William Regal – WWf European Championship Match

SPIKE is the European champion. Yeah. No wonder they got rid of it .

“REGAL, YER MUM’S A LIZARD!” ahhhh, classic signs .

Regal Rules. Spends the first minute or so of the match just smashing his knee or boot into Spike’s face.

Dropkick.

Dropkick.

Dropkick.

Dropkick.

Huh, when did this turn into a Chavo match? 

Spike goes for the DUDLEY DOG, Regal pushes him off and poor Spikey hurts his lickle leg. AWWWWWWWW. I don’t care.

Trainer comes down, cuts open Spike’s boot because untying it seems like too much work. THE MATCH IS STILL OFFICIALLY GOING TOO BTW.

Spike is getting taken to the back and Regal grabs him and brings him back into the ring BECAUSE THE MATCH IS STILL FUCKING GOING. Ah well, we get Regal being all fucking BOSSY as he attacks it, and the English fans are LOVING REGAL FOR IT. 

Powerbomb. And Regal picks him up after 2, claiming he isn’t done. Spike rolls him up and wins. Fans BOO. Regal decks him with the Brass Knucks. Fans CHEER.

This was mostly ok, but the ankle injury crap lasts as long as the ring action and kinda kills the momentum.

Rating: *1/4
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

Steve Austin Vs The Big Show – Special Guest Referee Ric Flair

Well actually Flair is referee #2. He’s just gonna stand there and prevent the NWO from interfering. Show joined the NWO btw. This is before Flair’s heel turn and alliance thingy with the NWO. Whole thing was a mess. NWO in WWE blew.

Reeeeeeeeaaaaalllllllyyyyyy slow start to this one. Stalling, then a bunch of collar and elbow tie ups with Show powering Austin into the corner, then slowly building up to Austin finally knocking Show down. It’s ok I guess, but eh, don’t feel the match needed as much stalling and shit at the start. Was like they were trying to force this to be something big and special when really it’s Big Show Vs Austin with Show not the most motivated he’s been and Burnout 2002 Austin too.

Jerry Lawler. Shut the FUCK up. Why do they have to do it every fucking time. LOLZ WE IN TEH ENGLUND LETS SAY RANDOMLY ENGLISH SHIT WITHOUT A FULL UNDERSTANDING OF THE CONTEXT OR THE FUCKING LANGUAGE. Annoying as shit and actually distracts from matches.

Austin works the legs a little, then Show uses his power and a big clothesline to take Austin down and from here it’s pretty much all Big Show. With some hope spots by Austin, 90% of which are cut with a clothesline. Yawn.

Speaking of yawn… BEARHUG. Big Show has his hands locked in such a convincing way I honestly think Cena’s STF looks better. Urgh.

Big comeback from Austin, Stunner, but the ref is dead. Flair goes for a count but the NWO show up so he buggers off after them. TEASING DAT HEEL TURN. That gets forgotten about like a month later anyway . Then he turns heel again later in the year.

KEVIN NASH!!! HOLY FUCK I THOUGHT HE WAS INJURED! I legit thought his “suspension” was a way to cover up his injury! He doesn’t help in the slightest. 2 Stunners from Austin and he gets the win finally.

Match is… watchable, I guess. Kinda slow, kinda dull, but they did have a decent story thrown in there for the match… it just wasn’t executed too well. Not the worst thing on this show but I’ll never watch it again.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

The Undertaker Vs Triple H

I wanna say NO and be done with it. But it’s a PPV main event so I’m gonna watch it no matter what. No matter what. No matter what. No matter what. SOMEONE SHOOT ME. No matter what.

I’ve already reviewed this in the past. Can I just post that and be done? Please?

Fine. I’ll watch it again. For you. You cunts.

Undertaker’s punches are .

HHH’s punches are SHIT.

“HHH JERKING THE UNDERTAKER OFF… THE TOP ROPE!”  JR is at it again.

Stop it. STOP HOLDING THE GUY’S FUCKING HEAD BEFORE YOU PUNCH. IT LOOKS TERRIBLE. Best striker in the WWE Vs one of the worst.

Undertaker goes after the leg that put THE GAME out of action for 9 months. PUT HIM BACK ON THE SHELF, DEAD MAN!!!

Rope breaks and poor Undertaker looks to really hurt his back on it when it happens. Facing HHH in 2002 does not agree with him it seems.

Ahhh, a rest hold. The secret ingredient to making this match good no doubt!!!

Fuck me, HHH does not want to give up control of the match to Undertaker. Undertaker NEVER gets in any real full control. You can just imagine their conversation during the match…

Undertaker: Ok, time for me to get some heat.

HHH: BABYFACE SHINE!

Undertaker: Fine.

*2 minutes later*

Undertaker: Right, I should get some heat now.

HHH: BABYFACE SHINE!

Undertaker: Urgh, fine!

*2 minutes later”

Undertaker: Give me some fucking heat NOW.

HHH: I’M FUCKING STEPHANIE MCMAHON AND WILL RUN THE COMPANY SOON.

Undertaker: …

HHH: BABYFACE SHINE!

This whole match is just a terrible, terrible mess. And I know I’m like, always biased when it comes to THE UNDERTAKER, but seriously, HHH is the MAJOR problem in this match. He never gives up control and never lets Undertaker get any heat, and his strikes are just god awful and he keeps fucking doing them. Oh and of course he WINS too.

HHH: Oh hey, Undertaker is getting the title at the next PPV. Can I pin him tonight? He’s getting the title anyway .

He probably did the same in 01 with Austin at NWO.

HHH: Austin gets to win the title at WM . Can I beat him the PPV before? PWEETTY PWEASE? Yey!

This match can fuck off. And so can this entire PPV. FUCK OFF.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 0

Backlash 2002

The last WWF PPV!

 

Billy Kidman Vs Tajiri – WWF Cruiserweight Championship Match

 seems like a good way to start the PPV! Actual card for this show looks AMAZING on paper (bar the main event which no matter what would always look awful on paper lol). Hope the undercard holds up!

Poor Tajiri. His kip up is cursed. Every time he does one, Kidman knocks him back down again .

TORRIE chant. She’s not so FAP FAP because Tajiri has her covered up and shit. BOOOO.

Oh man, the referee starts bitching at Tajiri for not breaking a hold in the ropes… so he rolls around and just kicks the absolute FUCK out of Kidman’s face and rolls back in again, as if to say “hey ref, that was YOUR fault”. Tajiri rules.

Tajiri rules in control. Kicks, back work, kicks. Being Tajiri. Awesome.

 at Kidman countering the back spring elbow thingymabob with a dropkick. Tajiri flips RIGHT INTO it too. Looked GREAT.

Holy flerking shizzle at that near fall! Kidman should be DEAD after a kick like that! But he kicked out!

SSP! Miss! KICK TO THE FACE! Tajiri wins! No!!! Kidman kicked out! Kidman kicked out!!! 

Fans really get behind Kidman after that kickout. KIDMAN BOMB off the ropes! KICKOUT BY TAJIRI!!!

Kidman sets Tajiri up for another powerbomb and Tajiri spits the red mist into his eyes! Cleaver cover up during the pin, and Tajiri wins the CW title!!! ALL HAIL TAJIRI!

Great match! Tajiri is KING.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

Scott Hall Vs Bradshaw

The fuck is that music? Oh, apparently it’s the NWO music. Except it’s not. Was it edited out on the DVD or did they have a chance in music?

X-Pac is out with Hall (because Hogan left the NWO and Nash got “suspended” aka tore his quad walking  ), and with the numbers game against Bradshaw, it looks like it’s gonna be a long night for him. NO! FAROOQ! RON SIMMONS! The brand split might have split up APA as a team but they are FOREVER FRIENDS. Until Farooq gets fired for drugs and Bradshaw turns heel in 04.

I remember watching this show live and hoping we’d get a TAG TEAM MATCH made. But Teddy Long isn’t a GM so no chance in hell of that happening .

Hall throws his toothpick at Bradshaw and bursts out laughing. So Bradshaw decks him in the mouth .

Hall stalling for AGES before turning around on the outside with Farooq behind him is . Farooq decks him, then attacks X-Pac and throws Hall back into the ring and THE REFEREE DOESN’T SEND HIM BACKSTAGE. The fuck ref? Teddy Long would have. If he didn’t make it a tag match first.

X-Pac in Kane’s mask is . He totally should have run with that as a gimmick. KANE-PAC.

Both guys pretty much just PUNCH EACH OTHER IN THE FACE for the majority. And since both guys throw some wicked punches I’m cool with that lol.

CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL~!

X-Pac puts Hall’s foor on the ropes, so Farooq chases him around. Bradshaw watches then Hall low blows him for the win.

Nothing amazing here, but watchable. 2 guys punching each other in the face will always have a place in my heart lol.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Trish Stratus Vs Jazz

No thanks. Molly looks FAP FAP FAP with brown hair though. She cut a promo or something.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Brock Lesnar Vs Jeff Hardy

 Heyman playing with LITA’S thongs is disturbingly hilarious.

Lesnar’s first theme sucked.

Jeff gets some shots in early… and then LESNAR KILLS HARDY. An extended PPV squash match. And it’s fucking EPIC. Lesnar is big and powerful and Jeff is happy to take crazy fucking bumps, so it works out wonderfully .

LITA looks incredible on the outside.

Damn, those multiple backbreakers are IMMENSE. Not only does Lesnar hold on to Jeff to do about 3 in a row, but he absolutely powers Jeff up nearly over his shoulders every time before he drives his back down onto his knee.

SWANTON BOMB~! LESNAR FUCKING POWERS OUT~! FUCK YOU AND YOUR FINISHER, JEFF!!!

F-5! Heyman screams “DON’T PIN HIM. HURT HIM!!!” so Lesnar hits a fucking DOUBLE POWERBOMB. And then a HUGE spinning powerbomb. And the referee has to stop the match because Jeff is DEAD.

.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 

Kurt Angle Vs Edge

Huh, Angle… doesn’t suck here! Transition spot into his control segment is a sweeeet German Suplex, and from there he slows down the pace rather than going all out with MOVES~!, taking his time to mock the crowd and really play up being a heel. His suplexes work as nice cut off spots for Edge’s hope spots too.

Well damn, even the super over head belly to belly spot is done well! Edge is making a comeback and trying EVERYTHING to keep Angle down, but nothing works. So he goes to the ropes for a Missile Dropkick, and as such Angle IS already on his feet, so no crazy “jumping up from the mat and not selling anything” crap! Instead as Edge is waiting on the ropes for Angle to get in position, Angle quickly realises what’s coming and leaps up for the suplex!!!

They even do a nice little call back to that super belly to belly spot too, which Edge hitting a big Crossbody to Angle on the outside, rolling him in and THEN landing the dropkick because Angle is much more hurt this time!

ANGLE SLAM~! KICKOUT~! ANKLE LOCK~! ROPE BREAK~! Then just like it seems we are going into some big crazy finisher fest, Angle levels Edge with a clothesline and things slow down! Then Angle decks himself in the head with a chair (lol), Edge looks to hit a Spear and Kurt kicks the fuck out of him for a counter (!!!) and into an Angle Slam for the win.

Match is kinda odd actually. I’m unsure what I actually think of it. It isn’t BAD. At all. It isn’t GREAT either. Good, absolutely. I guess. Lol. Angle’s shitty move crap is kept to a minimum and his suplexes make for great cut off spots. The finishing stretch isn’t overkill either, but honestly there seems to be something missing. Mainly from Angle’s control segment. Like I said, his cut off spots are good… but outside of those I honestly couldn’t tell you anything Angle did. Like, AT ALL. Just a giant void of WHATTHEFUCKHAPPENED in between cut off spots .

So overall, its good in the sense that it isn’t your typical crazy Angle MOVES~! match but it doesn’t get a huge rating because there wasn’t much to this one beyond cut off spots and the finishing stretch, both of which were good though.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Jericho promo. Bitching about being left off BACKLASH (He’s not good enough for BACKLASH? JOEY STYLES SHOOT~!) while Kidman and Maven have matches. Anyway, he does have a point. He was in the MAIN EVENT of WM a month ago, and now he’s doing bugger all.

ARN ANDERSON . RIC FLAIR . UNDERTAKER . Undertaker just shows up and stares at Flair before leaving. 

 

Rob Van Dam Vs Eddie Guerrero – WWF Intercontinental Championship Match

BATTLE OF THE FROG SPLASHES~!

. I remember the first Raw brand show when Eddie Guerrero returned and powerbombed RVD. I was still young and had no internet so I didn’t know why Eddie disappeared for a year or anything. So seeing him returned was . Always liked the guy even as a heel when I wasn’t so “smart” to the “business” for lack of better terms. Now I appreciate the guy a bazillion times more .

Eddie is now 100% clean and has his life back in order, and when Eddie is CLEAN, Eddie is one of the best EVER. Not even Mr Flippy can fuck that up!

 1 minute into the match and Eddie is already bumping around and selling RVD’s offence like a fucking GOD. I like how Eddie makes RVD fight to get shit in, and while it’s not the GRITTY style like Finlay and Benoit, it’s still damn good.

Dammit RVD, STOP WITH THE SHITTY ELBOWS.

Aside from those terrible, terrible elbows, RVD’s offence looks really good for a chance! Even his kicks are less sloppy. Eddie is such a good worker he’s having a positive effect on RVD’s ability!!!  Or maybe RVD respects Eddie enough to like, put some fucking EFFORT into his shit for a chance lol.

RVD controls the early part of the match with Eddie getting a few things in here and there, but it’s the TILT-A-WHIRL backbreaker than puts RVD on defence. From here Eddie focuses his attack on RVD’s back like a BOSS.

GORY SPECIAL .

The longer Eddie works over RVD, the more cocky he gets, going for fancy high risk moves and playing to the crowd, and it nearly costs him. He takes far too long going for a Frog Splash, allowing RVD to get up, but Eddie is still able to counter and hit a SICK sunset flip Powerbomb!!!

Ref bump, and Eddie hits a neck breaker on the IC belt, and then it’s FROG SPLASH TIME BABEH! New IC champ! Eddie wins!!! .

Really good match. Eddie is on top form, RVD looks better than usual, and we end up with a pretty great match .

Rating: ****
CAL SCALE – 5

 

The Undertaker Vs Steve Austin – Special Referee Ric Flair – #1 Contenders Match

 FUCK THE HATERS I LOVE THIS. I hope . If it sucks for me on this watch then I’m gonna cry!

Undertaker is BOOGER RED. Austin is a RED NECK. And Flair is wearing RED SHOES. And I’m a RED HEAD. Therefore I cannot hate this match. IT’S SCIENCE, BITCHES!

Undertaker claimed before the match that he will OUT-WRESTLE, OUT-BRAWL and OUT-CHEAT Austin to win this match and go to JD for a title shot.

Stare down and trash talking to start things off. These two have a long history and know what’s on the line here so they aren’t about to rush into anything.

Undertaker immediately goes for a headlock, and Austin can’t escape. When he does, Undertaker shoulder blocks him down and does his cocky boxing footwork as Austin rolls outside to take a break. Undertaker is OUT-WRESTLING Austin. Just like he said he would!

Austin now gets a headlock on Undertaker, and when Undertaker escapes Austin attempts a shoulder block but the Dead Man ain’t budging! More cocky foot work from Undertaker, so Austin pays him back in kind by dropping down and doing some press-ups! Undertaker ain’t getting into Austin’s head!

They re-work the same sequence again, but this time when Undertaker goes for a shoulder block, Austin DECKS HIM with a clothesline, then gives him the finger!

 they go to tie up again and Austin gives Undertaker the finger one more time and Undertaker is FUCKED OFF! He’s angry and rushes at Austin, allowing Austin to use his own momentum against him, and it’s AUSTIN out-wrestling The Undertaker! 

So out-wrestling didn’t work for ‘Taker, so it’s time to fucking BRAWL. Big rights from the Dead Man and a boot to the face, and Austin goes down!

OLD SCHOOL~!

VINTAGE OLD SCHOOL UNDERTAKER. Cole stole VINTAGE from JR!!! Shame he couldn’t steal his talent too.

Undertaker looks to have things in hand thanks to his BRAWLING skills… until Austin takes him down with the Lou Thez press and pummels the fuck out of his face with right hands! They fight on the outside with Austin staying in control.  at Austin punching Undertaker over the barricade right into an old women.

Good punches by Austin and Undertaker in this one, a MASSIVE step up from their SummerSlam 98 match when neither of them seemed to give a fuck.

Hall and X-Pac randomly show up at the top of the ramp, and even Undertaker looks pissed at them. If they screw with this match he’ll probably kill em!

Austin does a great job selling HIS FACE when Undertaker pummels him with punches, knees him in the nose and even smashes it against his bike!

APRON LEG DROP… except to the BACK of Austin’s neck rather than the front! Looks awesome that way.

LEG WORK~! Cool to see Undertaker, the taller guy in the match, work the legs of Austin rather than the other way around. Austin has knee braces on BOTH legs so it’s good strategy to go after them.

Yey the audio just went out of sync. Which apparently was a common problem because they dubbed Undertaker’s entrance theme for the event and it seems to have fucked shit up for the rest of the event now. Bah. Putting the DVD on my PC so I can (hopefully) watch it with media player classic and mess about with the audio timing. Can’t do it from disc as it seems to make the video stutter lol, so hopefully having the files on my PC will solve that problem. HOPEFULLY.

Well that didn’t quite work so I converted it to avi and stuck it in Adobe Premiere and manually put it in sync .

FUCK ME at the speed Undertaker gets to do the leaping lariat!

Undertaker hasn’t been able to put Austin away yet with WRESTLING or BRAWLING. Time to cheat!!! He exposes the turnbuckle, but Austin sends Undertaker into it back first and that gives the Rattlesnake a chance to recover and build momentum!

REF BUMP~! STUNNER~! NO REFEREE~! LOL~!

LOW BLOW~! Undertaker taking advantage of Flair being down. CHOKESLAM~! And Austin KICKS OUT!!! Undertaker’s face when Austin kicks out is amazing . He looks down at Austin as if to say “the fuck did you just do?”.

STEEL CHAIR~! Flair takes it away and Austin lows blows Undertaker… who retaliates with a kick to the face .

STUNNER~! COUNTERED~! FLAIR GETS TAKEN OUT AGAIN~! STEEL CHAIR TO AUSTIN’S HEAD~! Undertaker is doing everything he can to OUT-CHEAT Austin for sure, but Austin will NOT stay down!

Tombstone signal . But he was going for the TAKER CARE OF BUSINESS instead. Austin counters and tries to use it on Undertaker! Undertaker doesn’t like that so he goes for the chair again, only to be met with huge lefts and rights from Austin. Austin grabs the chair, Flair tries to take it away, Austin gives him the finger… and turns around into a big boot! Chair right to the face! 1..2..foot on the ropes…3 anyway!!! UNDERTAKER WINS! UNDERTAKER WINS!

 This still rules. Fuck the haters. Which is like, everyone on the planet bar about 3 of us . Match told a great story of Undertaker trying to out-wrestle Austin, then when that doesn’t work he tries to out-brawl Austin, and when THAT fails, he manages to get the win by out-cheating him!

Rating: ****
CAL SCALE – 5

 

Flair walks to the back and Coach shows him footage of the finish with Austin getting his foot on the ropes. His reaction? OHHHH SHIT! 

 

Billy & Chuck Vs Al Snow & Maven – WWF Tag Team Championship Match

 at JR making gay jokes.

MAVEN GETTING ABUSED BY THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. Poor Maven! 

 teased hot tag to Snow, but Billy and Chuck prevent it… and Al runs in anyway .

Referee: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU GOTTA TAG!” 

Huh, so AL is the guy playing FIP tonight. Instead of, you know, THE ROOKIE. Seems kinda backwards to me lol. Surly it would have made more sense for them to isolate the ROOKIE because he’ll be easier to beat and shit, and then have the teacher just come in for a hot tag? I though that’s what they were gonna do originally but Maven lasted about a minute as FIP lol.

MAVEN SETTING UP FOR HIS FINISHER… THE CROSSBODY. IN 2002. LOL. What kind of absolute LOSER or a wrestler would use that as a finisher in the 00’s? 

Maven gets his head kicked off and loses.

Match is… stuff. Things. Whatever.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Triple H Vs Hulk Hogan – WWF Undisputed Championship Match

I wanna just say NO and move on. BUT… I kinda feel like I NEED to watch the MAIN EVENT TITLE MATCH for every show no matter what. Which sucks for me. Hogan in his prime Vs HHH in his prime doesn’t appeal to me. Hogan over 10 years past his prime Vs out of his prime and muscled up to fuck preventing him from being remotely good HHH makes me wanna puke my eyes out.

Oh god. The bell rings to start the match and we have TWENTY FIVE MINUTES left on the event. 25 minutes of OAP Hogan and Steroid HHH.

OMG HHH SHOWS THAT HE’S STRONGER THAN AN OLD MAN THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME. Kill me.

Fuck me. They spend the first FIVE MINUTES just pushing each other around in a collar and elbow tie up. Plus the knuckle lock spots too. At least the crowd is hot for the match. I guess someone has to be.

 at the chop blocks to the knee by HHH. HHH nearly MISSES the first one, and Hogan was anticipating the second one and almost took the bump too early .

Fuck me… how many does HHH need to do? Hogan just keeps getting up and HHH keeps doing it. I swear for a second I thought part of the match was on a loop .

Leg holds. Sleeper hold. REST HOLDS~! Oh wow this is just exciting shit…

Jericho shows up. A chair gets involved. I think. I was still kinda phased out from the bullshit 10 minutes of rest holds or however long it was.

HOGAN MISSES THE LED DROP. PEDIGREE. 1…2… UNDERTAKER DECKS THE REFEREE!!! CHAIR TO HHH’S FACE! Undertaker picks up Hogan and tells him to cover! Hogan declines and takes out ‘Taker, then hits a Legdrop and gets the win anyway .

My god this was horrible. I mean… the best part of the fucking match is UNDERTAKER INTERFERING AT THE END. I have nothing positive to say about it.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 15

WWE No Mercy 2002

Love how the PPV starts. Kane sits down next to Undertaker and simply asks “how was your week?” . Obviously helps if you remember what was going on during the shows at the time haha .

 

Chris Jericho & Christian Vs Goldust & Booker T – World Tag Team Championship Match

Goldust . Christian . Jericho (not quite mark worthy). And then Booker T. 3 out of 4 ain’t too bad .

Jericho attacked Booker and busted him WIDE OPEN a couple of weeks ago, so when Booker starts the match he wants Jericho but gets Christian, so he beats up Christian and goes right for Jericho, allowing Christian to attack him from behind and… lose control immeditately with Goldust getting tagged in .

Goldust is awesome . He makes smashing people in the face with his arse LOOK CREDIBLE.

 at Lawler on commentary fantasising about Cole and Tazz getting squashed if the HIAC fell down. THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU JERRY?

Good team work from C2 to keep Goldust from making the hot tag. GREAT hope spots from Goldust before he finally gets the hot tag. Wish his FIP segment had lasted waaaay longer though . Booker is fine as the hot tag guy at least. His big kicks DO kinda look cool even if I think he’s average as fuck at best .

 tag to Goldust. SHATTERED DREAMS TIME BABY!!! No Christian Jr I guess.

WALLS OF JERICHO. KICK TO JERICHO’S FACE. SCISSORS KICK. COME ON GOLDUST PIN HIM!!! Bah, that no good Christian broke it up .

 Jericho attempts the Lionsault and the rope dies. Everyone looks baffled but they recover nicely with Jericho hitting a full on MOONSAULT for the win.

Well this was… decent. Disappointing tbh. Didn’t get all that much time and they steered a little too far from the good old STF for my liking. Short FIP from Goldust followed by a prolonged finishing stretch which honestly isn’t thrilling. Ropes breaking luckily doesn’t kill it off or anything as it happened at the end and Jericho was able to recover fine. Still, I liked it enough to not call it horrible or anything .

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

FUNAKI. SMACKADUWN NAMBUR WAN ANNUNCER! My god this “interview” goes on far too long with Funaki barely speaking English and Al Wilson being a horrible actor . At least we get to see Dawn Marie clips a bunch of times.

 

Dawn Marie Vs Torrie Wilson

FAP FAP FAP? Well yes, but I’m gonna skip it anyway.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Ric Flair Vs Rob Van Dam

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. The greatest of all time Vs the flippy dude who smokes a lot of weed.

RVD is PISSED and goes right after Flair and they fight on the outside. Big kick to Flair’s face and Flair takes an epic bump over the barricade right onto a couple of kids .

 Flair goes for the FLAIR BUMP over the turnbuckle and he seems to realise while upside down still that he ain’t gonna make it, so he just SCREAMS “AARRHGHKGHDAJFSFJ!!!” in disgust at himself .

Leg work from Flair. RVD… is selling it REALLY FUCKING WELL.

Come on Flair. BREAK HIS LEGS. End his reign of flippy shit forever!!! *realises this took place 11 years ago and RVD is still flipping about* 

Urgh, RVD, stop. Stop throwing those fucking elbows. They are on par with HHH’s punches. You know, where he has to hold his opponents head first before he throws them and it takes like 20 seconds between each shot which absolutely KILLS any back and forth striking between him and his opponent?

Lawler: “DO YOU THINK PREGNANT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTIVE?”

 WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM?

The fuck is Flair doing? STOP STEALING MIZ’S FINISHER HOLD YOU OLD BAST… oh wait, no. This looks to be some modified version of what Miz does .

Flair is GOAT’ing all over the place with his leg work on RVD and those RIGHT HANDS to the face too. Do people talk about Flair’s punching much btw? I always really liked his punches. They always looked really fucking good.

Oh hey, RVD no selling the leg work. I AM SHOCKED AND OUTRAGED THAT SOMEONE AS GOOD AS RVD WOULD DO SUCH A THING!

 Flair sells the 5 Star Frog Splash like the true GOAT he is. Flops around like a fish out of water until RVD covers him. RVD wins.

Match is mostly solid. Flair controls most of it and works the leg really well. Would have been better had RVD like, sold the leg work during his comeback at the end.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

 

Big Show has his thumb up his arse.

 

Jamie Noble Vs Tajiri – Cruiserweight Championship Match

 please let this rule the planet.

Oh my god I think I’m in love with Tajiri . Guy RULES in this. RULES. MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING RULES THE FUCKING WORLD AND EVERY FUCKER IN IT. Why? This:

Noble rules too. Not as much, but he’s still damn great. Love him shouting random shit and adding “BOY” at the end of everything . His offence is really good, focusing on the back of Tajiri. Looks nice and NASTY too. Speaking of NASTY, wouldn’t mind getting NASTY WITH NIDIA.

 that awesome sequence with Tajiri going for a Moonsault, Noble moving, Tajiri landing on his feet and going right into a tornado DDT .

OH SHIT, Tajiri goes fucking INSANE with a flurry of kicks. HE GONNA KILL HIM.

ORGASMIC counter from a kick by Noble… right into another kick TO THE FACE anyway . And then THAT GERMAN. THIS IS AWESOME *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*.

NIDIA kisses the lucky referee in order to distract him from a pin attempt after Tajiri KICKS NOBLE’S HEAD OFF. Then she helps him get the win to retain the title.

TAJIRI KISSES NIDIA. She likes it! What a slut! Noble’s revenge is showing him how to really kiss her . SO Tajiri kicks him in the back of the head.

This was GLORIOUS. Had to look up the time because I *thought* it got like 10+ minutes, but it only got about 8! Felt longer in the best way possible.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Benoit is backstage finding Eddie to tell him that Angle is beating the shit out of Chavo Jr. Eddie thinks the screams are coming from a little girl. He’s right. And so is Benoit. Angle is beating the shit out of little girl Chavo Jr. LOL. Best thing Angle has done!!! FINLAY sighting .

 

Triple H Vs Kane – Winner Takes All World Heavyweight Championship Match

The IC title merged with the Hardcore title, and now the winner of this is gonna merge the IC title into the WHC. Because… ummm… I guess they wanted to make the main brand titles mean something more than usual for about half a year before they decide to bring this back and bring the US title to SD .

KATIE VICK~! DEATH~! RAPE~!

Lawler: “IT’S NOT COOL TO BE A FREAK!!!”. Be a star you fuck.

HHH has never beaten Kane in a title match. Except for that time when HHH and Austin beat Kane and Undertaker for the tag belts. LOL.

HHH looks odd as fuck without facial hair. Makes his nose look bigger. BIGGER.

Early going is mostly fun with Kane going crazy on HHH because, ya know, he accused him of murdering Katie Vick then raping her corpse. Is it still rape if the person is dead? I mean, they can’t tell you either way. Stop talking now? Yeah ok.

So early going. Kane is rocking HHH with big shots and it’s all pretty bossy.  though at the spot where Kane is running at HHH in the corner and HHH is supposed to get an elbow up. Kane practically STOPS before he gets to HHH then walks into the elbow .

Nice transition spot into HHH’s control segment; thumb to the eye (FLAIR~!) followed by a knee to the back which sends Kane head first into the ring post .

Shame HHH’s control segment isn’t as good as the transition spot into it lol. Dull dull dull dull dull dull dull. Thankfully it doesn’t last too long. I spent most of the time laughing at the commentary. JR and King talking about MURDER .

FLAIR~!  he runs into the ring, spazzes out, the ref gets taken out then Flair gets taken out. Quality.

BELT TO THE FACE. KICK OUT. THE HURRICANE~!  forgot he and Kane were partners at this time. Seemed odd for a few moments when I forgot and Hurricane came down to attack Flair .

PEDIGREE ON THE FLOOR~! Hurricane averted!

Kane sits up in the ring and looks to finish THE GAME now. Flair on the outside smashing his fists on the steel steps then threatening fans is GOAT. He’s been at ringside for like 2 minutes and he’s already the most entertaining thing in this match.

 oh man Flair trying to go toe to toe with Kane is another GOAT moment.

HHH THROUGH A TABLE~!

Kane is UNSTOPPABLE in this. Kicking out of everything, taking out Flair, putting HHH through a table, blocking a sledgehammer shot by Flair. Chokeslam. But the numbers game and the sledgehammer eventually prove too much. Pedigree and this one is finally over. HHH unifies the WHC and IC title.

Match isn’t horrible… but not that good either. HHH is dull controlling things but luckily that doesn’t last long. Whole finishing stretch makes Kane look unstoppable but is overbooked clusterfuckery and eh, I’m not too high on it. Maybe if they’d had Flair at ringside from the start and spread out those spots throughout the entire match it might have come across better.

Rating: **1/4
CAL SCALE – 1

 

CONFIDENTIALLY… YOU’RE A LYING BITCH.

 Undertaker rules.

 

Chris Benoit & Kurt Angle Vs Rey Mysterio & Edge – WWF Tag Team Championship Match

Bangle Vs Redge .

Watching the build up video makes me wanna watch the whole tag tournament again. Might have to at some point.

Match starts, Angle grabs Rey and throws him across the ring. Then tells him to tag Edge because LOLREY. Rey sees it as disrespect and doesn’t tag out, instead he takes it to Angle and uses his speed and high flying ability to make Angle look like a complete and total tit! SUPER fun start!!!

And once Rey gets Angle all frustrated… he tags in Edge .

Edge and Benoit roll around on the mat for a few minutes and it’s kinda dull, then we get a few nice spots with Angle getting involved on the apron, Edge getting a revenge spot and then Angle getting a revenge for revenge spot spot!!! And that leads to the first control segment for Bangle.

 at Mysterio standing on the ropes and screaming for Edge to get up and make a tag, and Benoit just kinda stops what he’s doing to Edge, walks over and stares at him before going back to work on Edge.

HOT TAG TO MYSTERIO~! Guy is on FIRE!!! Loved that springboard drop kick to Benoit who was laying face up in the ropes! Incredible near fall!

CROSSFACE~!

619~! Benoit catches him! MISSILE DROPKICK FROM EDGE AND BENOIT IS CRUSHED! 1…2… KICK OUT!!!

Rey climbs the ropes to try and finish Benoit off… and Angle shows up from out of nowhere for the super over head belly to belly!!! Probably the only time that move has made sense and wasn’t some random spot simply to set the move up!

 now it’s time for REY to be the FIP . One of the things I’ve always liked about this match is how we got Edge as FIP and then a hot tag and what would normally be an incredible finishing stretch… that only leads to ANOTHER heel control segment with Rey as the FIP! Just when you think the match is going into the final stretch they slow things down again and build up more suspense for the ACTUAL finish.

Huh, hot tag to Edge already. That didn’t seem to last long . Another big finishing stretch, but Edge off the hot tag isn’t as good as Rey .

 Edge just gave Rey an over head belly to belly to send him right into Angle . Logic behind it is DUMB AS FUCK but damn it looked good!

619 to Benoit while he’s applying the Crossface!!!

ANGLE SLAM TO REY~!

ANKLE LOCK TO EDGE~!

SPEAR TO ANGLE~!

ANKLE LOCK TO EDGE AGAIN~!

ANKLE LOCK TO ANGLE BY EDGE~!

ANKLE LOCK TO EDGE BY ANGLE AGAIN~!

TAP OUT~!

Well. I mean. I.

I used to love this. Even when my wrestling tastes changed and matches with MOVES~! and shit all went down for me… this remained great. Until now. It just fell a little flat for me. The Edge FIP was short and kinda meh outside of a few spots. Rey hot tag was INCREDIBLE. Then the Rey FIP was… short as fuck with little happening, and honestly I think my biggest disappointment with the match is there. I mentioned that I loved the match for having the 2 FIP segments in it, but this time both were kinda shitty and I wish we’d just got one long Rey FIP with some substance to it. First finishing stretch was good, but the actual finishing stretch was kinda shitty.

Overall… the match is ok, good even, but seems to have completely fallen apart for me compared to my last watch. And that makes me sad .

Rating: ***

CAL SCALE – 2

 

Trish Stratus Vs Victoria – WWE Women’s Championship Match

Yeah, sorry. No.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Brock Lesnar Vs The Undertaker – WWE Championship Hell in a Cell Match

Build up video is awesome. God I loved the feud. Always great too when you can remember watching it as it happened.

Lesnar uses his power early on to hit a HUGE powerslam on Undertaker for a near fall mere minutes into the match. So Undertaker decides to use the cast as a weapon to even things up and Lesnar DOES NOT like that! Being a rookie and his first time inside HIAC, he starts to panic and wants to get out, because it’s only NOW that he realises exactly what he’s gotten himself into; a confined space with THE UNDERTAKER who has a cast that can be used as a WEAPON.

LESNAR IS BLEEDING. And Undertaker is DOMINATING the WWE Champion inside the cell. Lesnar takes some killer bumps face first into the cell.

Undertaker does his apron leg drop… then climbs to the top rope and looks to do the same… only he kinda falls and turns and apparently did a knee drop.  it looks dreadful tbh .

Heyman on the outside is amazing.  at him pushing his arm through one of the gaps to try and get at ‘Taker. Undertaker boots him in the face, then grabs him by the tie and smashes his face repeatedly into the cell!!! HEYMAN IS BLEEDING!!!

It seems that Heyman getting busted open ANGERS Lesnar who gets a second wind and just smashes Undertaker into the cell and ring post, ending with all 3 men laying on the floor, beaten and in some cases bleeding… and we aren’t anywhere near done yet!!!

Heyman proves to be a valuable asset even outside the cell, handing Lesnar his belt to tie around the broken hand. Heyman grabs the other and and makes sure Undertaker’s hand is going nowhere, allowing Lesnar to SMASH IT TO FUCKING BITS with a steel chair!!!

Heyman: “YOU’RE GONNA DIE NOW! YOU’RE GONNA DIE NOW!” .

I love how this match went from Lesnar panicking and running from Undertaker, getting MAULED even at one point, to Lesnar in firm control with a clear target. All thanks to PAUL HEYMAN. Guy really is the third man in this match. Amazing how much he can do outside of even a cage. Kinda like the HHH/Lesnar cage… except Heyman was the only good thing about that match .

THE CAST IS OFF!!!

Fuck me, Undertaker’s legs are COVERED in blood. And he ain’t even bleeding! Good job he’s wearing dark trousers lol.

SUICIDE DIVE~! BY THE UNDERTAKER~! Gotta love how even Undertaker is having to resort to shit like that. Lesnar is proving to be a HUGE threat in this match and Undertaker gotta do whatever he can to beat him.

 at Undertaker trying to pick up the steel steps, but letting go because his hand is fucked .

Undertaker is BLEEDING. From 2 INCREDIBLE shots to the face with the steel steps. Heyman saying “YOU ARE THE MAN” and high fiving with Lesnar at the side of the cell is more  from Heyman. Has any manager EVER added so much to a match simply being on the outside?

Undertaker is bleeding on Eddie Guerrero JD 04 levels now. HOLY FUCK.

 at Undertaker instinctively punching Lesnar with his right hand, only to end up screaming in pain because it’s the hand that was broken .

 at Undertaker getting a little revenge by stomping away on the hand of Lesnar. NOBODY BREAKS THE DEADMAN’S HAND WITHOUT PAYING.

Tazz: “THE UNDERTAKER HAS NEVER BEEN PINNED. HAS NEVER SUBMITTED.”. Ummmm… WHAT?

F-5! No! Countered into a chokeslam!!! People complain about that because he uses his injured hand. Whatever. He hits it out of desperation to avoid an F-5. As soon as he hits it he just falls on Lesnar for a pin, and from there HE CONTINUES TO SELL THE HAND. So fuck off you numpties.

LAST RIDE OUT OF THE CORNER~! I love how Undertaker wasn’t able to hit it from the normal position. His hand wouldn’t allow him to flip Lesnar up onto his shoulders, and Lesnar was able to counter and send ‘Taker to the ropes, where Undertaker could simply walk forward and slam Lesnar down with the Last Ride rather than get him up there himself.

Oh fuck at THAT FINISH. Tombstone countered into an F-5 by Lesnar, which includes Lesnar absolutely POWERING Undertaker out of a Tombstone position, onto his shoulders and into an F-5. Incredible. BROCK LESNAR retains the WWE Title against Undertaker in Hell in a Cell. During his FIRST YEAR on the active roster. Incredible.

And speaking of INCREDIBLE, that is exactly how I would describe this match. Brutal, bloody, intense, shocking. THIS is the kind of thing Hell in a Cell was made for. Such a great match to watch. Always considered it to be the 2nd best HIAC (behind the GOAT MATCH of course), and it isn’t going to move up to the #1 spot, but dammit it’s moving up in another way…

Rating: *****
CAL SCALE – 9

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 15.5

WWF Survivor Series 2001

I began my 2001 Ramblings with THE INVASION PPV. So I’m ending with the END of The Invasion!

Video package at the start of the show is amazing. Yet another (of the MANY) example of WWF/E being masters of video packages.

 

Christian Vs Al Snow – WWF European Championship Match

So this is the FINAL WWF Vs Alliance PPV. Quite possibly the biggest event kayfabe wise in history. And Christian Vs Al Snow is on it? THE FUCK, MAN?

“WE WANT HEAD”

Did these 2 even care? Because fuck me this is just two guys going through the motions to fill time. There is a bit where Christian has Al down and starts talking trash to him, and you can see him purposely moving into position so Al can small package him. Made me shake my head…

Snow Plow looked brutal at least. Christian still wins.

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Austin shows up and THE ALLIANCE want to know if he’s turning on them because he smiled at Vince on SD.

SHIT HAPPENS. Vince continues to tease that one of the Alliance team members is gonna turn on them and join the WWF. WILLIAM REGAL shows up to say he doesn’t believe Vince.

 

William Regal Vs Tajiri

Actually watched this recently so I’m  right now because I KNOW this is fecking great!

Regal BLOCKS some big kicks from Tajiri, and smashes his elbow right into his face only to still take a KICK TO THE HEAD .

KNEE TREMBLER .

KICKS~!

ELBOWS~!

STIFFNESS~!

Oh man! Tajiri gets caught up in the ropes by his NECK, so Regal goes outside and pulls on his legs! What a RUTHLESS BASTARD!!!

Regal’s nose is bleeding. As usual when he’s against anyone STIFF lol. He’s the Master Roshi of the WWF… except KICKS make his nose spurt rather than beautiful women.

DOUBLE ARM POWERBOMB~! And Regal gets the win. He gives Tajiri another just BECAUSE.

TORRIE FAP FAP FAP. Regal decides to give her one too. A POWERBOMB YOU SICK FUCKS.

Short and absolutely SWEET. 

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Edge Vs Test – WWF Intercontinental Championship & WCW United States Championship Unification Match

The IC and US titles are gonna be unified here tonight, and the winner will be SAFE regardless of the outcome of the main event. But if the WWF wins, the IC title remains. If the Alliance wins, the US title remains. BUT WHO WILL BE CHAMP?

WHAT’S THAT ALL ABOOT?

Solid stuff here! Shouldn’t be THAT surprised I guess because while Test doesn’t have a catalogue of epic matches, he isn’t a guy I’d say ever flat out SUCKED, and Edge, while never the best wrestler or anything did have a pretty good run in late 01/early 03.

Pretty great battle for control on the top rope at one point .

Oh shit, SPEAR BY TEST. And it looked awesome! Fuck Edge doing the Spear, give it to Test!

 oh god the kick out from Edge after a big pumphandle slam look so lethargic. Was supposed to be a big near fall and all, and the fans DID pop for it and shit, but damn, Edge looked like he couldn’t give a fuck .

Match has a really good finishing stretch, that I guess you can say started with the battle on the top rope. Some cool sequences, counters, big moves and kick outs, and then Edge pulls out a surprise win with a roll up. I liked this.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

STEPHANIE FAP FAP FAP.

LITA FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP. LITA is concerned about Matt, and tonight in general. Matt comes out of the locker room and convinces them everything is cool. LITA seems satisfied and is about to go into the locker room, only to be met by TRISH (FAP FAP FAP) who seems a little flustered… yeah that whole angle was dropped fairly quickly lol.

 

The Dudley Boys Vs The Hardy Boys – WWF & WCW Tag Team Championship Unification Cage Match

They stick to a basic tag match in the early going, which I kinda like, even for a cage match. Then it all goes to hell (in a good way) as both Hardy’s try to escape and we get a couple of big spots off the cage and from there it’s 2 on 2 and nobody gives a fuck about tags!

Damn, Bubba takes the biggest Flair Bump off the ropes ever. He fucking throws himself as high as possible and as far as possible lol.

Matt nearly gets pushed through the side of the cage when Bubba runs at him full speed.

Cool spot with Matt hanging upside down from the cage by his leg thanks to D-Von, who then follows up with a head butt to Jeff’s balls.

STACY, GET THE TABLES~!

But this is a CAGE match, right? How they gonna get a table in there? Simple. Stacy shows her ass (FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP) and Nick Patrick is in a sexual trance allowing Stacy to steal the key . A table is in, but The Hardy Boys manage to avoid it! Matt escapes… but this leaves Jeff alone!

Jeff manages to climb the cage, but D-Von has randomly (and I swear the way he does it is hilariously retarded) put himself on the table, and Jeff can’t resist diving off the cage! D-Von moves, Jeff crashes through the table and The Dudley Boys unify the tag belts!

Not the greatest match between these 2 teams, nor the best tag cage match you are gonna see, but it was solid overall. Finish was done to create the Matt Vs Jeff angle, and made Jeff look like a retard so I liked it . Shame the actual angle didn’t go anywhere lol.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

SCOTTY 2 HOTTY~! Test jumps him to take his battle royal spot. Because… you know… that’s how it works. I can understand someone getting beat up and having their NUMBER stolen, but this is just RANDOM lol.

 

Lance Storm Vs Justin Credible Vs DDP Vs Raven Vs Steven Richards Vs Billy Kidman Vs Tommy Dreamer Vs The Hurricane Vs Shawn Stasiak Vs Test Vs Bradshawn Vs Farooq Vs Crash Holly Vs Funaki Vs Hardcore Holly Vs Albert Vs Billy Gunn Vs Chuck Palumbo Vs Spike Dudley Vs Perry Saturn Vs Tazz Vs Chavoe Guerrero Jr Vs Hugh Morris – Immunity Invitation Battle Royal

Ok, so this in an INVITATIONAL match. So why did Test even need to attack Scotty? Hell, TAZZ only shows up after the match has started lol.

Huh, Palumbo was a WWF guy already? He and Billy are dressed alike so it seems their tag team has already started. Honestly don’t remember it being this early on lol.

DDP… he went from main eventing THE INVASION PPV as part of Team Alliance… to being in a battle royal at the end of the Invasion angle.

 DDP is one of the earliest eliminations… then Palumbo gets thrown out and accidentally kicks the fuck out of DDP’s head .

Chavo Jr and Hugh Morris show up. Guess they are in the match? *edits match title* LOL they got eliminated before I could even add their names to the match .

 Tazz calls Heyman a fat bastard and ends up getting eliminated from behind. Heyman bursts out laughing then shits himself when Tazz goes for him .

Epic elimination of Kidman. Bradshaw Fall Away Slams him over the ropes… but unlike the Vader/2 Cold version from the 1997 RR (yeah I remember this shit lol)… Bradshaw was about 2 fecking feet away from the ropes when he did it!!!

Final 2 are TEST and… Billy Gunn . Boot to the face and Gunn is dunn. TEST wins immunity for the next year.

Fun enough.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

Trish Stratus Vs Lita Vs Jacqueline Vs Mighty Molly Vs Ivory Vs Jazz – WWF Women’s Championship Match

Women’s title is back after Chyna buggered off with it lol. Jazz makes her debut. NOBODY KNOWS HER OR CARES .

Jazz starts the match by beating up LITA. I hate her already.

MOLLY GO ROUND~! Poor (or lucky lol) Jacqueline gets a face full of MOLLY VAG~!

Crazy that they could do a 6 pack challenge with DIVAS and all of them could like, actually go in the ring… well Trish was green as hell still at this point but not half bad.

TRISH WINS.

Short and… fapable I guess? Aside from Jazz who looks like a man. She’s replaced Chyna.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

The Undertaker, Kane, The Big Show, Chris Jericho & The Rock Vs Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Shane McMahon, Booker T & RVD – Winner Take All Survivor Series Elimination Match

This is IT. 5 months of THE INVASION have all led to this. The surviving team not only gets bragging rights, but will determine which company stays in business and which dies forever (except for ECW that comes back for a while lol).

The whole match takes up over ONE HOUR of the PPV time lol. That’s video package, entrances and then the actual match. And you know what? I don’t care. It’s all done so well. Say what you want about the Invasion Angle, but they DID get some shit right. This match is one of them.

JR to Heyman: “JIM CORNETTE CAN REPLACE YOU TOMORROW, PAL!” .

Instead we got Lawler .

Rock and Austin start things off. Whatever. Go away already, Rock.

HUGE pop for RVD.

So Vince was supposed to be in this match along with Shane, but Big Show ended up taking Vince’s spot. Anyone else think this could have been so much more awesome if VINCE was in it? Having him interact with Austin? How  could that have been?

Team WWF dominates early on, with everyone getting a turn at coming in and showing up THE ALLIANCE. Shane O’Mac keeps running into the ring and breaking up pin attempts like an annoying little fucker. Just gonna make his eventual elimination that much sweeter .

BIG SHOW comes in and just rips into everyone, until he ends up taking a finisher from everyone bar Austin and Shane McMahon pins him!!!

Shane is all happy because he eliminated the giant from this match… and ends up getting a face full of ROCK PUNCHES.

And now it’s time for SHANE to take everyone’s finisher and he is eliminated too! Awesome to see Undertaker bring out the TOMBSTONE for this occasion too.

BODY SLAM~! BODY SLAM~! BODY SLAM~! HOW TALENTED IS BOOKER T?!?!

Big brawl erupts. RVD eliminates KANE! With a kick to the face. Off the ropes.

LAST RIDE TO ANGLE~! STUNNER TO UNDERTAKER! Austin pulls Angle over Undertaker… and the DEAD MAN is done . That leaves us with Rock & Jericho for Team WWF. BOOOO. Undertaker means more to that company than either of them.

Booker T loses to a roll up. LOL.

 to set up the roll up, Rock sends Booker right into Angle and knocks him off the apron, and RVD just kinda looks down at Angle like “the fuck you doing?” .

 Jericho eliminates RVD with THE BREAKDOWN but despite using it to beat The Rock for the WCW title at No Mercy, the move still hasn’t been established yet and NOBODY reacts to it… making RVD’s elimination seem totally random. Even BILLY KIDMAN can’t believe it ended there!!!

.

Down to Angle & Austin Vs Jericho & Rock. Angle & Austin battled like crazy just a couple of months ago over the WWF title, and Rock and Jericho have recently been battling over the WCW title. So an interesting choice for the final men on each team. PLUS just a week or so ago in England for Rebellion, Angle and Jericho had a match together and Rock and Austin fought as well!

 Angle, an OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALLIST IN WRESTLING just lost to a Sharpshooter… from THE ROCK . Lowest point in his career .

Austin is now fighting for THE ALLIANCE by himself! An odd position to put the heel into for a match of this importance but whatever.

Jericho is eliminated! He’s so fucked off he… HIS ROCK WITH THE BREAKDOWN! The WWF Locker room is SHOCKED, and UNDERTAKER shows up to make sure Jericho doesn’t do anything else.

Rock and Austin are the final 2 now, and I guess it’s kind of fitting. This whole thing kinda started at WM when Austin turned heel to beat Rock for the WWF Title, and from the heel turn Austin then turned on the WWF and tried to put it out of business. So ending with those same 2 guys IS kinda cool. Sorta. Fuck you Rock.

Heyman: “WHY ISN’T HEBNER CALLING FOR THE BELL?”

JR: “BECAUSE ROCK ISN’T TAPPING!!!”

Heyman: “WELL THAT NEVER STOPPED HIM BEFORE AT SURVIVOR SERIES!”

Oh god another Sharpshooter by Rock. I think Rock Vs Miz in a submission match might very well be the WORST MATCH EVER on paper.

STUNNER BY THE ROCK~!

NICK PATRICK~! HE BREAKS UP A PIN AND TAKES OUT HEBNER!!!

ROCK BOTTOM BY AUSTIN~!

Rock kicks out, so Austin attacks Nick for not counting to 3!!! Then he brings in Hebner because, I dunno, he thinks a WWF referee is gonna do a better job… nope. Hebner gets taken out within seconds .

STUNNER! THE ROCK IS DONE FOR! YES! But there is no referee!

KURT ANGLE! HE GRABS THE WWF TITLE… AND CRACKS AUSTIN IN THE FACE!!! ROCK BOTTOM! THE 3! WWF HAS WON IT! THE ALLIANCE IS DEAD! ANGLE SCREWED THE ALLIANCE!!!

 This is a rather awesome tag match. Tons of fun and some great shit throughout. Probably the best Survivor Series Elimination match, though that huge 16 man one from either 88 or 89 could challenge it.

Rating: ****1/2
CAL SCALE – 7

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 13.5

Stupid title, yes, but hey, I deal in crazy insane stupid posts so I’m just rolling with it!!!

So what DID happen on this day and when? Well, today is March 3rd, and on this day in 1997, Raw took place in Germany. For those knowledgeable wrestling fans you may remember this Raw as being the turning point in the WWF, as such low ratings finally forced Vince McMahon to hand over the reigns to Vince Russo and thus began the Attitude Era. But what a lot of people tend to forget about this show, is that despite the terribleness, there was one bright, shiny gem of a match that gets overlooked imo…

The British Bulldog Vs Owen Hart – European Championship Match

The fuck… HONKEY TONK MAN is on commentary? 

Davey and Owen are the tag champs together, but over the last couple of months they’ve been teasing a breakup, so it’ll be interesting to see how that plays out here as they both wrestle to become the FIRST EVER European Champion!!!

LOVE the back and forth exchanges early on in this one. They flip around and counter each other and kip up and all that shizzle. Works very well for this match imo as both are friend and tag partners and want to prove to the other that THEY are the better man by potentially showing the other one up.

POWERBOMB~! Bulldog countered a Hurricanrana attempt into a pretty swank BOMB. Sends Owen to the outside, then holds the ropes for Owen to get back in because they are currently still friends.

Bulldog starts to build momentum, using his POWER now to prevent Owen from out wrestling him. Owen cheats just a teeeeeeny tiny bit to escape a hold, then sents Bulldog out and does the same celebration that Bulldog did earlier! Awesome. Owen then holds the ropes for Bulldog again just like Bulldog did earlier. They seem to still be on the same page… until Owen fakes a knee injury and attacks Davey Boy!!! And now it’s Owen’s time to shine!!! 

What I love about this match is the fact that both men are HEELS, yet they are friends, family and tag team partners, so while they try to adhere to sportsmanship… they aren’t above cheating if it means winning. Because this match IS for the European title after all, and it’s the first NEW title created in the company since 1979 with the IC title!!! Which at least sort of explains why HTM would be on commentary given his history with the IC belt. That and he does a decent Stu Hart impression . Thankfully VINCE AND JR cover the match lol.

And on top of the HEEL schtick that they both try to “sneak” in, they put on a pretty swank WRESTLING match too.

TOMSBTONE POSITION COUNTERED INTO THE POWERSLAM!! OWEN KICKS OUT!!! Owen is too hurt to get back into the match though, and a rollup exchange ends with Bulldog becoming the first ever European Champion!!!

Yeah still love this a ton. Not as much as before, but atm I’m struggling to think of a better Raw match still, but mainly because I’m not as high on the main contenders in this category lol.

Rating: ****1/4

—————————————–

I wrote this in the early hours of the morning, because I don’t really sleep. And after sleeping and then thinking about it, plus a small conversation with someone else on the subject, there is a very good chance I wouldn’t still call this the greatest Raw match ever if I really put some effort into thinking about it lol. First let me say I am NOT that high on the infamous HHH/Austin Vs Benoit/Jericho tag from 01. It’s a match that usually always gets mentioned as being the greatest Raw match ever, and I just don’t like it THAT much. However matches like Cena/Punk from 2012, 123-Kid/Hart from 1994, numerous Shield tag bouts over the last year and a couple of others I’m likely forgetting, could all very well be in contention for greatest Raw match ever. One day maybe I’ll attempt such a gigantic project like this to truly find out which Raw match is the greatest for me, but until then this is certainly a major contender and I recommend everyone checks it out! The full Raw episode was released recently on the Raw 20th Anniversary 12 disc box set, and the match on it’s own was also released on the 15th Anniversary set, so it shouldn’t be hard to come by .

WWF SummerSlam 2001

 

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR~!

 

Lance Storm Vs Edge – WWF Intercontinental Championship Match

So this would be Storm’s first and ONLY singles match on PPV during his entire time in WWF!

If I could be serious for a minute… I wish Albert was still the IC champ. ALBERT in singles matches in PPV for the IC title would have been . Instead Edge ends up winning this (OMG SPOILER) and goes on to have a pretty shitty reign until Christian wins it and does the same until Edge wins it back and does the same until REGAL gets involved.

I *think* the fans chant “Lance Storm Sucks” but honestly it sounds like “Angle Sucks” instead .

Solid work on the mid-section by Mr Storm. Edge is selling it well for now. We shall see how he does towards the end of the match lol.

Huh, Storm seems to be focusing on the back of Edge now. Eh, all kinda the same. Still the middle of Edge’s body, and both sides getting attacked will help Storm with his HALF BOSTON CRAP submission.

CHRIS BENOIT MENTION~!

Nice counter by Edge hitting a powerslam off a Crossbody attempt. Was done in a way that was completely believable given where Storm has been working Edge over too. Was less power and catching storm and more of just using Storm’s momentum against him.

HALF BOSTON CRAB was applied awesomely. He slid under Edge and rolled into it .

SPEAR TO EDGE BY CHRISTIAN! SUPERKICK TO CHRISTIAN BY STORM! Storm covers Edge, but a SPEAR to injured mid-section still ain’t enough to put him away. DDT and Edge wins the belt.

Fun opener, and we gots a new IC champ. Decent match, but I’ve seen ***1/2 ratings for this over the years and I honestly don’t understand them lol.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 

Test cuts a pretty good promo. Love how he’s the heel because the WWF TURNED ON HIM essentially forcing him to join the Alliance. HE’S THE FECKING BABYFACE lol. Ah well.

Jericho and LILLIAN FAP FAP. Talking about STEPHANIE FAP FAP and all the times she’s had sex.

 

The APA & Spike Dudley Vs The Dudley Boys & Test

 APA on PPV.

Back suplex into a neckbreaker is busted out about 30 seconds into the match lol, and WELL DONE to the crowd for NOT screaming “THREEEEE DEEEEE” like retards.

 Dudleys and APA just beat the shit out of each other for the first few minutes. We definitely needed a big tag title match on PPV between those two teams during this time.

Spike tags in and I am disappointed… then he takes on EPIC flapjack onto the ropes and I end up smiling .

Table gets set up on the outside and Test teases launching Spike over the ropes though it . But Spike counters and nobody goes through it .

Hot tag to Bradshaw . Absolutely RUNS OVER Test . Sweet JEBUS at the big boot to D-Von!

BIG BRAWL BETWEEN EVERYONE . POWERBOMB TO TEST~!

Spike back in the ring and  he gets launched through the table anyway!!!!

CLOTHESLINE FROM MOTHERFUCKING HELL~!

Shane with a chair shot to Bradshaw! Test and The Dudleys get the win.

 So this is uber fun.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

SEEDS OF A CHRISTIAN HEEL TURN~!

SHAWN STASIAK~! He walks in on Debra. Sadly she is fully clothed and just randomly stood about. She tells him to go impressive Austin by KICKING SOME BUTT.

 

Tajiri Vs X-Pac – WWF Lightheavyweight & WCW Cruiserweight Championship Match

Title for title match .

TAJIRI .

X-PAC .

Always found it odd that they never put X-Pac in the Alliance. He was in WCW for a period, and he’s still getting treated as a heel despite being on Team WWF, and he wrestled other WWF guys on PPV during this time anyway lol.

You know that spot where someone uses the ropes to do a backflip out of an armlock or something? I hate it. Here however, they do it in the middle of the ring… with X-Pac grabbing hold of the REFEREE in place of the ropes!!! 

 X-Pac takes down Tajiri and slaps his head like a cocky cunt, then when he stand up to celebrate Tajiri sweeps his legs and does the same .

Tajiri’s nuts meet the ringpost, and X-Pac follows it up with a STIFF kick to his back which he’s still balls deep in the ring post .

SURFBOARD~! X-Pac doesn’t quite get the balance right and Tajiri starts falling to the side, so X-Pac just rolls through and goes right back into another surfboard! Looks damn impressive and was a pretty awesome save lol.

KICKS~!

 Tajiri is about to climb the ropes, and he screams something in JAPANESE~! and the fans just POP despite the fact they have no idea what he said . EVERYONE LOVE TAJIRI!!!

FUCK ME at that German. Eat you heart out, Angle! Hell, you too Benoit!

LOVE how these 2 are going ALL OUT yet still managing to sell the effects of what they are doing.

ALBERT~!

RED MIST TO ALBERT’S FACE~!

X-FACTOR~!

X-PAC WINS~!

 This rules the world. Gets a rating of SID.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

PERRY SATURN at WWF new York. Moppy has been kidnapped .

SETPHANIE FAP FAP FAP OH GOD A TIGHT PVC OUTFIT FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP. She motivates Rhyno.

 

Chris Jericho Vs Rhyno

 STEPHANIE AT RINGSIDE FOR THE MATCH FAP.

So Jericho has never beaten Rhyno, making Rhyno the PERFECT opponent for STEPHANIE to put against him.

 at STEPHANIE sneaking up on Jericho on the apron to prevent him from diving off the ropes. He kicks her away, but Rhyno had enough time to recover, so when Jericho DOES make the dive…

GORE! GORE! GOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEE!!!! Rhyno catches Jericho coming off the top rope to the outside with a GORE!!!!!  FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP .

Put this isn’t falls count anywhere, so by the time Rhyno gets Jericho in the ring he is able to kick out at 2. Then gets SLAPPED TO HELL by STEPHANIE.

Rhyno knows the GORE fucked up Jericho’s ribs, and seeing a guy with legs that THICK apply a body scissors prevents that typical rest hold from being boring because damn, that GOTTA hurt.

AEROPLANE SPIN~!

FLYING RHYNO~!

Good GOD at that Lionsault. It was… kinda botched but Rhyno was in a good position to still catch Rhyno and my god it actually looked AWESOME. Legitimately AWESOME.

Jericho is building momentum and nearly gets the win, but STEPHANIE distracts the referee, and Jericho KISSES HER. Lucky bastard!

LIONSAULT~! RYHNO KICKS OUT!!!

RHYNO IS THE CURE OF JERICHOHOLISM~!

What a Spinebusters by Rhyno! Walls of Jericho used on Jericho! Everything Rhyno does hurts those ribs of Jericho more and more!

A belly to belly from the MAN BEAST, and he’s ready for another GORE! Jericho moves, locks in the Walls, and Rhyno is defeated.

Kinda wish Rhyno had won lol, but damn this match is tremendous!!!

Rating: ****
CAL SCALE – 5

 

Regal backstage with The Rock. Regal wants to see if Rock is well enough to wrestle tonight. Unfortunately he is.  at Stasiak running at them in the middle of the whole thing, only to miss and smash into a metal shutter.

 

Rob Van Dam Vs Jeff Hardy – WWF Hardcore Championship Ladder Match

Urgh. I remember this being a pile of garbage.

For 2 guys who are as athletically gifted, they sure do fuck up a bunch of basic flips in the early going .

“FUCK HIM UP RVD. FUCK HIM UP. FUCK HIM UP!”  fans are awesome.

What the feck was that? RVD is pissing about with a ladder, Hardy is behind him and instead of say, kicking him in the back of the head… Jeff decides to dive BACK FIRST onto the ladder to knock it back into RVD. HURTING HIMSELF. Why? Made Jeff look like a fucking retard. Then again I suppose that’s his gimmick, right?

A couple of cool spots involving the ladder kinda make up for some of the utter DUMB SHIT in the early going lol. And everything comes from RVD. I wish this had just been a normal Hardcore title match like Invasion. That was awesome.

 RVD launches himself off the ropes right into Jeff who is trying to climb the ladder. Looked more like a crazy collision rather than lightly tapping him with a kick or something like we tend to see in ladder matches that replicate that spot.

And then RVD does dumb shit. He puts the ladder ON TOP of Jeff then does a moonsault onto it. HURTING HIMSELF. Moron. PUT THE LADDER UNDER JEFF AND DO THE SAME MOVE. IT’LL HURT HIM AND NOT YOU.

 Hardy tries to do the same as RVD did earlier by coming off the ropes and knocking Van Dam off the ladder. Was a shitty dropkick spot like I’m used to seeing… except it ended with RVD LANDING ON JEFF’S LEGS and fucking him up .

DAMN. Awesome DDT. RVD knows how to take a DDT.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present to you exhibit a, which demonstrates perhaps the world’s DUMBEST spot ever:

FACEPALM~!

RVD wins the title. Hate this. Even the couple of good spots can’t help it. Just pure SHITE.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Shane O’Mac made Booker T some BOOK ENDS out of the announce table that Booker T BOOK ENDED Rock through on Smackdown.

 

The Undertaker & Kane Vs DDP & Kanyon – WWF & WCW Tag Team Championship Cage Match

 YEAH I’M EXCITED ABOUT WATCHING THIS MATCH SO WHAT?

Gotta feel sorry for Teddy Long. He’s stuck on the OUTSIDE for this tag match .

DDP and Kanyon try to escape the cage the second the bell rings. Nah. They gotta take a BEATING before they can leave this cage.

UNDERTAKER . He’s getting his face CAVED IN by Page and you can hear him scream “COME ON!” to try and get Page to give him his absolute best. Then Undertaker absorbs the shots and goes to town on the man who stalked his wife.

LOW BLOW. And Page actually gains some offence in on the Dead Man! Then gets a boot to the face .

Kanyon does a good job both taking a beating from Kane and even getting some offence in on the Big Red Machine. He takes on hell of a bump from a powerbomb position into the corner of the cage.

Oh man, Undertaker nearly puts DDP THROUGH THE FUCKING CAGE with a couple of running splashes and then a big boot. Then he goes to the well once too often and KANYON comes off the ropes and shoulder tackles Undertaker right to hell! Kanyon continues to take on BOD ALONE and sends Kane head first to the mat with his knee right in the back of his head!

 STEREO SIT UP~!

Undertaker then tells Kane to LET KANYON GO. So Kanyon escapes the cage… LEAVING DDP ALONE WITH UNDERTAKER AND KANE! AND A FUCKING CHAIN!!!

Now it’s time for Page to pay!!! He gets absolutely annihilated by the Brothers of Destruction, as you might expect

 at Undertaker playing mindgames with Page. Tells him he can escape the cage, on the condition that he doesn’t come near Sara again. Page thinks he’s caught a break, gets half way over the cage and then Undertaker drags him back in and kills him .

 at Kane looking all bad ass just sitting in the corner of the cage watching Page get killed.

So this is a squash match essentially. And it’s fucking AWESOME. It was EXACTLY how this match needed to go down. DDP and Kanyon had fucked with Undertaker’s family. His WIFE. And now they were stuck inside a STEEL CAGE with two SEVEN FOOT MONSTERS. Who the FUCK expected them to have a competitive match?

Loved every minute of this.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

 Stasiak again tries to take Rock out only to fly into an object. He makes Rock segments interesting!

 

Steve Austin Vs Kurt Angle – WWF Championship Match

 FAP FAP FAP 

Talk about a big fight feel! Angle stood at the bottom of the ramp, Austin at the top, both men just staring at each other, then making a move, meeting in the middle to exchange blows!

Austin works over the leg and ankle of Angle early on, due to him trying to break it during the build up for this match.  at Angle using his leg strength to counter it and go for an Ankle Lock, but as he turns out of the leg hold Austin has on you can hear him SCREAM IN PAIN as he does it. Just one of those little things that can really make a difference.

The multiple German Suplex spot is  too. Austin makes Angle really work to hit them all. Angle goes for an Angle Slam and damn, Austin’s survival instant or something kicks in and he does an awesome sequence of a thumb to the eye then a knee to the back of the ribs which sends Angle face first into the second turnbuckle lol.

STUNNER~! Kinda comes out of nowhere and pretty early on into the match, but adds a lot to the story of the match with Angle kicking out and Austin wondering what he has to do to win. He’s fucked off that Angle kicked out and levels Angle with ANOTHER Stunner, but Angle falls to the outside. That shit ain’t gonna do. How DARE Angle not only kick out of a Stunner, but take another and FALL OUT OF THE RING? That bastard should have taken the Stunner and stayed in the ring so Austin could PIN him. How does Austin react? With a number of BRUTAL ring post shots, sending Angle face first into the ring post again and again and again, busting the Olympic Hero wide open! Austin is a man possessed!

Angle is getting his arse absolutely kicked. Great selling of all the ring post shots followed by the right hands from Austin. He looks totally OUT OF IT. Austin finally throws him into the ring…1…2… KICK OUT! Angle is not giving up!

Austin is even more pissed now. Back to the outside and MORE ring post shots to Angle’s head. He’s bleeding, he’s battered but by god he isn’t BEATEN yet.

Oh man . Angle is bleeding like mad but still locks in the Ankle Lock while Austin is on the barricade. He looks like a fucking LUNATIC in the best way possible. Then he fucking DRAGS Austin into the ring by the Ankle to apply the hold there, and Austin is desperately trying to hold on to everything to prevent going inside the ring where he can LOSE the WWF title should he tap! 

MOONSAULT~! ANGLE LANDED THE MOONSAULT! He’s pulling out everything here to bring back the WWF title to its rightful company!

MILLION DOLLAR DREAM~! Angle isn’t the only one pulling out everything in this match! He’s already survived 2 Stunners and multiple head shots to the ring post, so Austin needs to dig deep into the well and drag out whatever he can. SURVIVOR SERIES 1996 FINISH TEASE~!

LOVE how Angle escapes the hold too. The arm drops twice, then the third time he manages to hand on and JUST gets enough energy back to make a beeline to the ropes and send Austin to the outside! None of this standing up and punching bullshit then making a comeback. He literally used EVERYTHING HE HAD to just get to the ropes and send Austin out.

STUNNER~! KICK OUT!!! Austin waits for him to stand up again, slaps him in the face and tries again, only for Angle to counter into an Angle Slam!!! 

Angle is bleeding, he’s kicked out of numerous Stunners and he’s STILL coming back! Austin knows he CANNOT beat Angle now, so he decks Earl Hebner! Another referee comes out, and Austin hits a low blow on Angle then Stuns the new referee! He just wants, no, he NEEDS this match to be over dammit! Tim White shows up and ends up getting decked with the title belt. ANGLE SLAM! Austin is OUT! Nick Patrick runs down… and rings the bell! Austin has been DQ’d!

 This match is just perfect. Even the DQ finish is incredible. Austin COULDN’T BEAT Angle clean, so he did whatever he could to simple end the match while still keeping his title. Both men were INCREDIBLE in this match. Everything about it is INCREDIBLE. I’m doing it.

Rating: *****
CAL SCALE – 9

 

Booker T Vs The Rock – WCW Championship Match

Urgh. We got from an incredible Austin/Angle match for the WWF Title… to Booker T Vs The Rock. What a load of bull.

 at the poor camera man getting wiped out when Rock decides “fuck Booker T I’m going after Shane”.

Rock hits a BLATANT low blow on Booker T… and the WCW ref does nothing? Kinda odd given what just happened in the previous match.

So like the handicap match a month later, SHANE is the best part of this. And he ain’t even IN THE MATCH. Distracting the referee, getting knocked on his arse by Rock and STILL counting along with the referee when Booker goes for a cover, then manipulating the referee to concentrate on a steel chair while he blasts Rock in the head with the WCW title. Oh, and then he takes one EPIC Clothesline from Hell after the APA come down to get some revenge for earlier!!! And if that wasn’t enough he even takes a ROCK BOTTOM on the floor!

At some point Rock wins the title. Whatever. Match is a giant load of bugger all outside of SHANE.

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 23