Month: April 2013

The first WWE event released on Bluray!

Match 1 – Finlay Vs John Bradshaw Layfield – Belfast Brawl to kick start WM, and who better to have a “fight” than 2 tough bastards who like to hit and be hit? Watching these two guy batter each other with weapons is soooo much fun. Finlay putting the cookie sheet in front of JBL’s face and punching it is a highlight only to be surpassed by JBL lobbing the trash can at Hornswoggle’s head! Suicide dive from Finlay right into a trash can lid is awesome too. Some great shots taken by both guys in this one. Just a super fun fight. LMAO at Finlay trying to grab the lid and isn’t able to. Takes him about 4 attempts to pick it up. JBL eventually wins, which was kinda odd given the feud (JBL beat the crap out of Hornswoggle, Finlay’s son, inside a steel cage), but ah well. FUN. ***.

Kim Kardashian is backstage talking about MITB because… I dunno. Had absolutely no idea who she was back in 2008. Now in 2013 I know that she is famous for… actually I still technically have no idea who she is. Bunch of perves talk about her arse a lot. And that’s it. Seriously, what does she do? Did she have some terrible one hit wonder songs that someone like me (brain cells that are still alive) would have avoided like the plague? Was she in one of those terrible reality shows like Big Brother, and just kept going even after winning/being evicted? WHAT DID SHE DO TO GET FAMOUS AND HOW DOES SHE KEEP BEING FAMOUS? WHY AREN’T I FAMOUS? MY ARSE IS BIG TOO DAMMIT.

Match 2 – John Morrison Vs Shelton Benjamin Vs CM Punk Vs Mr Kennedy Vs MVP Vs Carlito Vs Chris Jericho – First MITB was 6 guys. Second was 6 guys. Third was 8. Now 7. Uhhhh ok lol. Morrison does a moonsault off the ropes to the floor… while holding a ladder… and wow… I used to be really fucking impressed with that. Now? I didn’t give a fuck. I don’t know why. It just did NOTHING for me. Didn’t even look good lol. I popped for the sunset flip powerbomb suplex off the ladder at least! And kinda laughed at the ladder crumbling under Shelton when it wasn’t supposed to. Huh, there is a ladder set up against the ring apron and barricade like last year… except I have no idea how/when/why it was done. Other than to set up a spot that is likely gonna come of course. And there’s the spot. Shelton goes through it. LIKE SPIDERMAN! Yeah, because Spiderman often jumped from a rope and landed on a ladder. Hate that overused line in wrestling. MVP looks like he is about to win… until MATT HARDY makes his return and screws his former tag partner out of the win! Massive fucking pop for his return. Poor Punk in this match btw. He seems to take some really hard shots from the ladder throughout the match. But I’m sure he didn’t mind too much because he wins! Woo! Nice callback to the previous MITB match with Punk knocking Kennedy off the ladder as he’s about to win… just would have been nice had that been the finish. Instead Punk turns around and walks right into a Code Breaker. But then still wins anyway so woo! Match is good, but not awesome like I used to think. The first MITB match really is untouchable at this point. ***1/4.

Match 3 – Batista Vs Umaga – UMANGA! Raw Vs SD match for WM. This was the best they could come up with for Batista apparently. Nothing against Umaga, but he wasn’t exactly “great” nor did he have any “great” matches that I can think of atm (I’m not a fan of the LMS match with Cena remember). Batista on the other hand, while not being “great” on his own, had the incredible series with Undertaker in 07 and was really coming into his own finally. OOO OOOO OOOOMAGA chant is awesome. Of fuck, NERVE GRIP. Should be banned along with the Bear Hug. FUCK YOU NERVE GRIP. Match sucks. Batista Bomb is botched at the end. 1/2*.

Match 4 – Chavo Guerrero Jr Vs Kane – ECW title match! Kane won a battle royal on the pre-show to get this match. Kane shows up behind Chavo Jr, hits a chokeslam and wins the ECW title in 8 seconds! This is AWESOME. Can’t give it a DUD because any match where Chavo Jr gets fucking BURIED in 8 seconds in a title match at WM is fucking awesome. *.

Match 5 – Shawn Michaels Vs Ric Flair – Flair was inducted into the HOF the night before, and if he loses here, he must retire… and go wrestle somewhere else. Yeah, small print that we weren’t made aware of I guess haha. LEAVE THE MEMORIES ALONE! Plenty, and I do mean plenty, of good shit in this one. HBK was handpicked by Flair to be his WM, and quite possibly LAST, opponent, so HBK was conflicted yet at the same time honoured. Flair picked him because he wanted to test himself against one of the best ever in the Show Stopper, and for the first time in years Flair looks like the Flair of old, not old Flair. He showed signs back in 2003 in that WHC match with HHH, but since then he evolved into the role of “crazy old man Flair” which was awesome and stuck to the strengths he had left in his old age. But here he really did look like the Flair form the 80’s, albeit not quite as good haha. He pulls out moves we haven’t seen in years, and really tries to go all out to prove himself against a guy like Shawn Michaels. Shawn gets chance to hit Sweet Chin Music down the line, but hesitates, and ends up being locked in the Figure Four! Cool spot, and would be made better with how they follow up on it during the finish a little later. Shawn takes a crazy moonsault bump onto the announce table, which doesn’t break the way he wants and he ends up cracking his ribs or something, which prevents him from bridging out of a pin shortly after. People bitch because it was botched… but I don’t understand why. The guy just went ribs first for REAL into the table, and the bridge spot was either a “botch” that worked perfectly into the match… or great selling that again worked perfectly into the match. Win win imo. Flair gets superkicked in the face, but is able to kick out when his career is on the line. Shawn tunes up the band again, but Flair is barely able to get to his feet… but it was Flair playing possum, and once HBK comes over he gets a low blow for his troubles! The dirtiest player in the game is showing his true colours with everything on the line. He continues to cheat to escape the clutches of HBK, but none of it is enough to keep Shawn down. Another superkick and Flair still keeps going, so Shawn goes into the corner once more, but is again hesitant to do it. However Flair tells him to give him everything he’s got, as anything less would be an insult to the greatest of all time. I’M SORRY. I LOVE YOU. SWEET CHIN MUSIC. And the career of Ric Flair is over. A really good match still, that holds up well and everything, but despite me being a big Flair fan and considering him to be the greatest of all time… the emotion of this match lasted only for the first watch when I saw it live. After that; nothing. And I don’t really know why. SOME people out there actually lowered their rating of the match simply because Flair wrestled again in TNA… which is fucking retarded, but I lowered my rating simply after giving it another watch and not “feeling” it quite like before. It was the same here. Great match, but I don’t “feel” anything from it, which kinda sucks for me tbh. ***1/2.

Match 6 – Ashley & Maria Vs Melina & Beth Phoenix – NO.

Match 7 – Randy Orton Vs John Cena Vs Triple H – WWE Title match. Last year Cena got injured by Mr Kennedy, so they did a storyline with Orton taking him out (Orton was the challenger for the title at the time). At No Mercy, HHH and Orton wrestled for the vacant title. HHH won, then had to face Umaga later in the night, before defending against Orton in a Last Man Standing match where he lost it. Cena returned early in a huge surprise at the RR, won the match, and didn’t want to wait for WM to get back at Orton. They had an awesome, awesome match at No Way Out, where Orton got himself DQ’d, thus screwing Cena out of the title. And then somehow a triple threat match was made. I forget lol. Just watched the match and… well… I genuinely don’t know what to write about it. It wasn’t bad, far from it… but I don’t know what the hell to say. It was far more than just MOVES like the WM 22 triple threat was, but at the same time it lacked the story and emotion of the WM 20 triple threat. It’s in between them in that it has a little story (everyone has a history with each other) and its more than just moves, and the moves it does have are all very nicely done sequences… but I don’t know think it has anything that really needs to be written about it lol. Finish makes me laugh though. HHH gets punted in the head by Orton, who pins Cena to retain the belt after Cena took a Pedigree. The PUNT was very deadly at this time, having taken out guys the previous year and whatnot, and the commentators put it over at the end of the match too… yet HHH somehow manages to attempt to break up the pin and is able to sit up and stare at Orton while he has his hand raised in victory. Way to sell the move, Trips! LOL. ***1/4.

Match 8 – The Big Show Vs Floyd Mayweather – Hells yeah. I said during my WM 11 review that Bigelow/LT was only the second best celeb match at WM. Meet the first. Loved this feud. Show making a surprise return at NWO after taking a year off to train as a boxer and whatnot, looking healthier and fitter than ever, and attacking Rey was cool. They Mayweather jumped into the ring, smashed Big Show’s nose, and ran off into the crowd as Big Show charged after him. Was an incredible angle for sure. Got everyone talking. And even though Show was supposed to be the heel, Floyd is such an unlikeable guy on TV that the roles were reversed as far as the fans are concerned. This whole match is just worked perfectly. From the cat and mouse stuff, Floyd using his speed and quickness to get some shots in on Show, then Show finally getting his hands on him and sticking to basic stuff that still looks impressive coming from a guy his size, but can be done with a lot of safety to a guy who isn’t trained to be a wrestler. Immensely fun bout. Both guys are great in it. Floyd is cocky, thinking he can knock Show out with ease, while Show is determined to simply get his hands on this outsider and break him in half. Fans practically begging Show to beat the hell out of Mayweather is awesome too. Best celeb match at WM for sure, and probably the best celeb match ever. Go watch it. ***1/2.

Match 9 – The Undertaker Vs Edge – I had been looking forward to seeing Edge/Taker one on one for so damn long, and it was finally time. The legendary Phenom of WWE makes his way to the ring first, and comes out in attire similar to that of 1998. It was an awesome sight to see for such a huge ‘Taker fan/mark like myself. Will The Undertaker’s streak become 16-0 or 15-1? The outcome was pretty obvious, but like a lot of The Undertaker’s recent WrestleMania matches, there was always a chance his streak could come to an end, due to his opponent. Batista and Randy Orton were the most recent opponents that made me believe that they could beat him, while Kane (WM14) and Triple H were the only other 2 that come to mind when I think of guys that had a chance. Edge can now be added to that list. A great match. Both men put on a tremendous performance and have a match truly deserving of the main event of WrestleMania. The match starts off slow and is more methodical than ‘Taker’s last WrestleMania match. Edge goes after the back of the dead man and starts to wear him down. Every time The Undertaker attempts one of his signature moves, Edge either counters or kicks out! he longer the match goes, the faster the pace becomes and the better it gets. Edge continues to outdo the Phenom, countering the Tombstone and the Snake Eyes followed by the Boot (which he counters with a drop kick). The Undertaker, while getting out manoeuvred by Edge, is able to kick out of everything he receives. In what has become a tradition for big matches with The Undertaker in them, he hits the “Dead Man Dive”, which is always amazing to see for a man his size and age (yeah, that’s right, I named his dive! 😛 ). The referee gets knocked down towards the end, and Edge, as the opportunist he is, grabs a camera and nails ‘Taker with it. The Undertaker gets up though, and Tombstone’s Edge! Another referee comes running down the very long ramp way and into the ring to make a cover, but Edge manages to kick out! The end comes when Edge Spear’s ‘Taker, but he kicks out. He hits another Spear, but as they both fall, The Undertaker locks in his new submission hold! Edge holds on for as long as he can, but in the end he taps out. The Undertaker has just become the World Heavyweight Champion once again, and is now 16-0 at WrestleMania!!! The Undertaker may have left the winner, and the World Heavyweight Champion, but Edge left looking like a million bucks, as they say. It’s not often the loser of a match comes out looking so strong, but after his amazing performance in the match, countering The Undertaker’s moves and kicking out of everything, he looked stronger than ever. ****1/2.

ALL GROWN UP.

Match 1 – Jeff Hardy Vs Mr Kennedy Vs Matt Hardy Vs Edge Vs Randy Orton Vs King Booker Vs CM Punk Vs Finlay – Ha, when King Booker comes out, JBL says the HOF has a spot for him. 6 years later and he’s actually going on. Kayfabe title wins mean a lot when it comes to the WWE HOF I guess, because he was damn sure never a good enough wrestler to make it. YEAH I SAID BOOKER T SUCKS. Unlike the first 2 MITB Ladder Matches, we now have 8 guys in it, just so they could fill WM with as many guys as possible. HOLY SHIT FINLAY PULLS OUT THE FIRST HIGH SPOT BY DIVING OFF THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR LANDING ON EVERYONE. Who the fuck would have expected that lol? Usually they have the usual jumpy guys jump around first, leading to someone we wouldn’t expect to jump jump last. You know what I mean. Right? Better do. LMAO at Booker going for a ladder and getting the Hornswoggle stepladder instead. The ladder is short. Like his career should have been because BOOKER T SUCKS. Everyone takes turns at dominating everyone, with Booker going first and he sucks, hitting shitty spinebusters. Then does a spinaroonie to a big pop because he’s a babyface… oh wait no he isn’t. Like how they play up on the history of Edge and Matt, with Matt trying to set up Edge to take the same bump that Joey Mercury did a few months ago that smashed his face up. And then eventually Edge is taken out when Matt convinces his brother to dive onto Edge while he’s on a ladder set up between the ring and the barricade, breaking the ladder and both men. Matt is the smarter brother; gets Jeff to kill himself and Edge, taking them both out of the match, leaving Matt all fine lol. Anywho… yeah… everyone takes a turn at dominating. Spots happen, but aside from the Jeff killing Edge one, nothing stands out because let’s face it, we’ve seen everything else before. Well except for a midget taking a bump from the ladder. Kennedy wins. His bad luck kills his career and his MITB opportunity. LOL. Shame because he was actually really good from mid-06 to mid-07 in between injuries. Afterwards he was just terrible. And went to TNA and got worse. LOL. Just wonder how he would have done had he not got injured again and actually won the WHC. Maybe his career could have been saved. Not a fan of this one really. **1/2.

Match 2 – Kane Vs The Great Khali – Apparently they wanted Hogan Vs Khali to try and recreate WM III match. Instead they got Kane. Kane slams Khali at one point. If I remember correctly anyway. I’m not sitting through this fucking shite. NO.

Match 3 – Chris Benoit Vs MVP – US title time. 2 years in a row Benoit  has walked into WM as US champ… will it be 2 years in a row where he loses it too? SPOILER: No. He retains lol. Now to find out how! Benoit’s last ever WM match before he *disappeared forever and nobody knows why*. They work the mat to start with, where MVP gets to show us what he can do when he isn’t facing someone like Kane who he feuded with early on in his SD career. He had good matches with Kane, as well as Undertaker, but he couldn’t do the same stuff with them that he can with Benoit. So really this is a “career” match for the guy as he can finally prove his worth against one of the best ever (He wasn’t really credible enough to have that kind of match with Undertaker yet). MVP finally gets in control and smartly works over Benoit, targeting the arm, while Benoit keeps showing us that he’s the veteran, managing to find openings that most guys wouldn’t find. Finish kinda comes out of nowhere, and somewhat falls flat, which is a shame. The match was just kind getting going and then it stopped. Will have to check out their 2/3 falls match to see if that holds up as being really good. This was fine, but could have been so much more. **3/4.

Match 4 – The Undertaker Vs Batista – Going into this match back in 2007, I was unbelievably excited for it. Not because I was expecting a classic between the two (I had no faith in Batista being able to put on a great match), but because I was absolutely certain that The Undertaker was leaving with the title, and that’s just awesome :D. Not only was the WHC on the line though, The Undertaker’s 14-0 WrestleMania winning streak was on the line too. The Undertaker, after finally winning the Royal Rumble for the first time in his career, wanted the title perhaps more than ever. Batista, after coming back from injury in mid 06, had won the WHC once again and was determined to keep hold of it and prove to everyone that he was not only on The Undertaker’s level, but he was better. This match might have been on 4th, but like The Undertaker Vs Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania 25, for me it is the REAL main event. It’s the main reason I bought the PPV, it’s the main reason I bought the DVD. Teddy Long doing the ring announcing was a nice touch too, making the whole thing seem that much bigger, as he was the General Manager of Smackdown and this match was huge. Batista’s entrance was nothing special, just his usual stuff, but The Undertaker got another epic WrestleMania entrance with the druids carrying the flame torches (plus his entrance is usually epic to start with lol). I know it seems like I am rambling a bit, but all of this stuff really built me up and got me excited as hell for this match, and if I’m going to review the match, I feel I need to include all of this too :P. The bell finally rings, The Undertaker comes out of the corner with his usual fighting stance, but just as quickly as he leaves his corner, Batista is running full speed into the Dead Man with a spear! Batista showing the world, and The Undertaker, that he is not intimidated, that he has no fear, and that he will do anything to win. Back and forth they go, keeping the pace quick as hell, which is impressive as hell given the fact that both are big guys. The fans are firmly on The Undertaker’s side, despite Batista being one of the biggest faces in the company. Let’s face it, how many people could still get cheered at WrestleMania against a face Undertaker? Batista continues to show everyone that he will do what it takes to win, when he takes to the ropes, and comes flying off with a shoulder block! The Undertaker recovers and flies across the ring for his leaping clothesline, then goes for a Chokeslam. I love this part, with The Undertaker trying to Chokeslam Batista, and Batista using all his strength to keep ‘Taker’s hand off his throat. They continue to keep up this amazing pace, going to the outside, where we see the usual “Undertaker WrestleMania Spot” as he dives over the ropes to the outside. But even after that, Batista continues to come back and take the fight to The Undertaker, showing that he may be the biggest threat to The Undertaker at WrestleMania. An awesome looking Running Powerslam from one announcer’s table to the other is just more offence from Batista to show us that he is taking out all the stops to beat the Dead Man. The crowd, and myself, are just going crazy for all of this amazing action, and it’s not even in full gear! Last Ride out of the corner looks to solidify a 15-0 win streak, but Batista kicks out, hits a Spinebuster, and then a Batista Bomb! Now, going into this match I was pretty certain that The Undertaker was going to win, but when he hit that Batista Bomb, my belief was suspended, and I genuinely thought that the streak was OVER. I wasn’t the only one, the fans in the arena all seemed to be thinking the same thing, and when The Undertaker kicked out, the place erupted. Incredible. This unbelievable match eventually ends with a Tombstone Piledriver, and I mark the fuck out as The Undertaker is once again the World Champion :D. There is a reason I consider this the MOTY for 2007; it’s just fucking incredible. Batista brought his A game, perhaps for the first time ever (IMO he was better here than his HIAC with HHH), and The Undertaker brought his A game too, perhaps better than ever before. It’s a faced paced, action packed encounter that tells a simple story very well, and it never gets old. It’s also the best Undertaker WrestleMania match so far! ****1/2.

Match 5 – RVD, Tommy Dreamer, The Sandman & Sabu Vs Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Von, Matt Striker & Kevin Thorn – ECW Originals Vs The New Breed. I remember this being terrible, and looking at the “talent” involved, I have zero interest in seeing it again. NO.

Match 6 – Umaga Vs Bobby Lashley – Battle of the Billionaires. Even though Vince isn’t a billionaire anymore and hadn’t been for years. Hair on the line too. Did anyone expect Vince to win? Austin is the guest ref. Something he did quite a few times over the years after he retired. Got to the point where people didn’t care. Lashley has the match won in about a minute, but Estrada puts Umaga’s foot on the ropes to break the count. So Lashley kills Estrada. Way to keep Umaga looking like a monster, having him basically beat in a minute. Lashley takes a great bump outside when Umaga side steps him and sends him through the ropes. Austin gets a Samoan Spike, and fuck me, takes a hell of a bump from it for a guy who had to retire with a bad neck and bad knees. Shane McMahon shows up to get involved. He goes coast to coast with a trash can in front of Lashley, puts on a ref shirt and goes for the count but Austin pulls him out… and takes another Samoan Spike LOL. Stunner from Austin, Spear from Lashley, and McMahon gets his head shaved. Match is pretty dull until Shane shows up tbh. **.

Match 7 – Melina Vs Ashley – NO.

Match 8 – John Cena Vs Shawn Michaels – This was supposed to be Cena/HHH II, but luckily HHH tore his quad (weird to say I know lol), and HBK took his place, which let’s face it is FAR more interesting. If only Rock got hurt this year and they couldn’t do Cena/Rock II. HBK is fucking awesome early on in this. He out wrestles Cena, as well as dodging those big rights and lefts from the champs and comes back with some jabs to the face to frustrate him. Similar to the HHH/Cena match last year in a way, as HBK is out to prove he’s the better wrestler than Cena, only this time it actually makes sense lol. Cena keeps trying to get back on offence, but Shawn has an answer for everything. Shawn goes after the legs of Cena for a little while, which Cena sells tremendously, and Shawn makes it all interesting too, not so much with what he does but how he does it; taking a shot at the leg then trash talking Cena as he’s writhing in pain. But Shawn makes a mistake, going to the well once too often with his shoulder attack to Cena in the corner, and Cena is able to move, sending Shawn head first into the ring post, busting him open! Cena can now mount a comeback, and plenty of people complain that Cena no sells the leg work here. Well… he doesn’t. The leg work only took up about 4 minutes of the match, and it wasn’t 4 minutes nonstop of leg work nor did Shawn do anything extreme to the leg either. So Cena holding his leg after certain moves, trying to shake it off etc for a short time after is honestly all he NEEDED to do. So stop complaining you fucks! Poor referee gets superkicked. PILEDRIVER ON THE RING STEPS! God I love that move. Cena’s head is busted open from that, and Shawn now feels that Cena is pretty much dead in the water. 5 moves of doom, and Sweet Chin Music is tuning up… only for Cena to counter with one hell of a fucking clothesline! Awesome cut off spot. But like most of this match, just when Cena looks to build momentum  HBK as the big match veteran is able to counter in some way. But as the match goes on, the POWER of Cena keeps allowing him to create openings, and it’s his POWER that allows him to get HBK to his shoulders, keep him there and finally give him the F-U! Shawn kicks out and again seems to get in control… until it’s that POWER of Cena that allows him to catch Shawn from the ropes, power him up to his shoulders and… HBK counters, SWEET CHIN MUSIC… NO! Countered by Cena who goes for the STFU! Shawn counters that, but Cena counters again and this time locks it in! Awesome sequence, but Shawn is too close to the ropes and again the veteran is able to escape the clutches of Cena. SWEET CHIN MUSIC CONNECTS! Cena kicks out, but both men are spent. They hold onto each other as they get to their feet… and Cena goes for yet another F-U! Shawn escapes but Cena counters him before he can do anything else, and locks in the STFU again! And like WM 22, the match ends with a tap out! Back to back WM’s and Cena made DX tap out! Great match, better than the previous year’s main event. Shawn was great as the veteran with an answer for everything, and Cena was great at using his power to gain the upper hand whenever he could, and as the match went on he upped his game until he finally beat the more experienced challenger. ****.

On paper back in 2006, I really wasn’t that into this show. Then I watched it live and had a TON of fun. I always remember it as being a fun event rather than a truly good event, so at the very least I’m hoping to have fun with this one still.

Match 1 – The Big Show & Kane Vs Carlito & Chris Masters – Tag belts match kicks off the show. Kane really steps it up for WM by hitting things like a DROP KICK that he never normally would go for, as well as a clothesline from the top rope to the outside! Show is going at a faster pace than usual as well, and all of these things result in the match being a really fun, albeit short opener. Masters & Carlito essentially get squashed lol, but in super fun fashion. Show takes a nice double flapjack bump for his whole 30 seconds or so as FIP lol. Masters counters Kane’s clothesline from the ropes with a Masterlock! Show breaks it up, but Kane is right back in the fire so to speak when he takes Carlito’s back breaker finisher thingy. Masters & Carlito try to take advantage of Kane being hurt and Show on the outside, but some miss-communication ends with Carlito getting chokeslammed and the tag champs retain. FUN FUN FUN. **1/2.

Match 2 – Matt Hardy Vs Ric Flair Vs Finlay Vs Lashley Vs Shelton Benjamin Vs RVD – MITB ladder match 2! Damn, Lillian looks FIIIINE. So this match has pretty much been the worst MITB ladder match for me for a very long time. Would have to watch some of the more recent ones to really compare it to them, but for now it’s the worst or at very least one of the worst imo. Can it do better on this watch though? It’ll have an uphill battle. Part of my dislike for this match comes down to who is in it. Flair, Finlay and definitely Lashley really shouldn’t be in ladder matches. Certainly not a MITB match which outside of the first is really build around spots. While all 3 men are involved in some spots in this one, they really can’t do what a lot of other guys can. Lashley would probably break if he took 2 or 3 big bumps, Flair would turn to dust, and Finlay… well Finlay is more of a “smash you in the face with a ladder” than a “jump onto you from a ladder” kinda guy. They just don’t FIT into these kind of matches imo, despite the fact Flair had a tremendous TLC match with Edge earlier in the year. But being singles allowed them to do more, whereas these big multi-man ladder matches are really just spot after spot after spot with each guy taking turns at jumping off shit lol. So moving on to the actual match. Spots and spots and more spots, with Flair taking a suplex off the ladder early on and being taken out of the match for a little while. Guess they realised this wasn’t really the place for him so he doesn’t come back until later. Didn’t like this match this time around still. Just doesn’t do anything for me. None of the spots really look that impressive, closest thing is seeing Flair at his age take a suplex off the ladder. There isn’t any kind of big story to the match either like the first one, so the match is just a bunch of somewhat unimpressive spots that we’ve seen a billion times in numerous ladder and TLC matches in the past. Some dumb spots too, like RVD being alone in the ring and doing a 5 star frog splash instead of trying to get the briefcase. But that doesn’t matter because he still ends up winning. Yawn. Not happy with the result lol. Not happy with this match.  Gone down quite a bit, which I wasn’t really expecting. **.

Match 3 – John Bradshaw Layfield Vs Chris Benoit – US title time! JBL wants to win the title and beat Benoit so he can claim himself as THE greatest technical wrestler since he beat Eddie Guerrero for the WWE title, and now wants to beat Benoit for the US title. Shame they had to include Eddie into this since they were already spewing it at us for the WHC match. But that aside, Benoit Vs JBL is something I wanna see! 2 guys known for being pretty stiff in the ring. Usually ends up being pretty awesome :D. Benoit goes for a Crossface early, and it was great to see JBL try to counter it by locking his hands together, only for Benoit to smash the fuck out of them with his fist. I dig shit like that, in case you didn’t know by now :P. JBL seems to be focused on the back of the head and the neck of Benoit, which will no doubt help him to set up the Clothesline from Hell as well as take advantage of Benoit’s previously broken neck. JBL’s punches are epic too. Nothing fancy, just a big fat man throwing his fists into someone else’s face as hard as he can. Nice to see some similarities between the Finlay/Benoit/Regal matches here as well, mainly with the stiffness that I already mentioned, along with how everything they do feels like they really had to fight to do it. One instance is a superplex by JBL. Before he is able to hit it, Benoit tries to headbutt the fuck out of him first to get him away, but in the end JBL is successfully in hitting it. Pretty funny to see JBL hit the 3 Amigos (which in Keyfabe was disrespect, but in reality was nothing but respect for Eddie, as JBL was a friend of his), and then great to see Benoit bring them out as well to show JBL how they are REALLY done. More of the “fight to do anything” with JBL making sure Benoit doesn’t hit another German suplex on him, followed by the Clothesline from Hell being reversed into a Crossface which is reversed into a roll up (with ropes for leverage)! JBL beats Benoit, and becomes the greatest technical wrestler of all the times!!! Really liked this first time around, and I still really like it now. Plenty of what I like in a match, and hell, I’m even upping my rating a little! ***1/2.

Match 4 – Mick Foley Vs Edge – Hardcore match! Great feud, that would go on to evolve with the two of them teaming up to fight ECW that leads to a rather epic 6 person tag at One Night Stand 2006. Oh and plenty of great promos too. Man, Foley looks FAT as hell coming to the ring, and wearing a weird shirt too, despite having his cactus t-shirt and trademark red plaid. Hmmm… I smell something fishy! Foley dominates at the start, but Edge quickly comes back with the help of LITA on the outside handing him weapons! SPEAR! This one is over! But wait, Edge is hurt! What happened? Ahhh, the strange shirt was covering up the fact Foley wrapped barbed wire around himself in order to counter the spear! Kinda like Bret and Goldberg in WCW, only with 100% more barbed wire! Both men bleed, and we get plenty of good old fashioned HATE~! combined with some sick bumps, and even LITA bleeds and takes some great bumps, something I highly doubt we’d see the likes of the Bella Twins and Funkabitches take. Helps that LITA actually had passion for the business and genuinely wanted to be in it and be in it as a WRESTLER of course. Unlike a lot of hardcore matches, this one isn’t just random spots for the hell of it. Both guys wanna destroy each other, and the progression of the weapons and spots that are used is done perfectly. When the likes of a cookie tray doesn’t work too well, the barbed wire bat comes out. That doesn’t work, so outcome the thumbtacks. And then when that doesn’t work… it all leads to the big finish with a flaming table! Everyone knows this spot, and it’s a fucking great spot, with Edge spearing Foley off the apron and right into the table that was set on fire! BUT not only that, I totally forgot that earlier in the match, Edge sprays the lighter fluid ON FOLEY! So a Spear off the apron through the flaming table, and this one is over. Incredible match. Always thought it was great, and now I like it even more! Tremendous stuff from both men AND from LITA! She plays a big part in the match from handing Edge weapons, taking bumps, bleeding, and setting the table on fire. Practically nothing to hate about this match tbh. ****1/2.

Match 5 – Booker T Vs The Boogeyman – Bollacks to this. NO.

Match 6 – Trish Stratus Vs Mickie James – Switching to my unedited version of this match! Loved their match at NYR 06 (was probably the MOTN for that PPV lol, or at least even with HHH/Show), and I never thought this was as good until my last watch where I thought it was better. Build up was great; Mickie was awesome as the psycho lesbian heel. Think AJ but without PG constraints, and going after the divas rather than the men lol. Trish is fucking pissed after all the shit Mickie has put her through in the last couple of months, and man does she beat the fuck out of poor Mickie early on. Great spot where Trish catches a kick from Mickie and pushes her down into the splits position then kicks her in the head. But a kick is what puts Mickie on top when Trish misses a chick kick on the outside and ends up kicking the steel ring post, and thus begins Mickie’s attack on the leg. Mickie is great at working over the leg, just being crazy and violent with the whole thing. Crowd are firmly behind Mickie, mainly because she was just too fucking AWESOME to boo at the time rather than Trish being shit. Great selling of the leg from Trish as she makes a comeback, and Mickie is great at constantly using the injury to gain control. So why did I get out my unedited version of this show to watch just this match? Well because WWE edited it (duh), and they edited out some awesome LESBIAN related stuff! MICKIE GRABS TRISH’S CROTCH AND LICKS HER FINGERS. Great finishing stretch to this match, with some hard hitting moves by WWE diva standards. Finish is great too, even though they fucking edited it. Mickie kicks Trish in the injured leg, then goes for Stratusfaction, but the injured leg buckles on Trish and Mickie can’t perform the move, so she nails Trish with a Mick Kick and wins the title! WWE edited the Stratusfaction claiming it to be a botch, but honestly it worked perfectly into the match even if it was. Awesome match, great performance by both of them. ***1/2.

Match 7 – The Undertaker Vs Mark Henry – The Undertaker had a pretty good year overall in 2005, thanks to his feud with Randy Orton. His 2006 started off good too, as he had a near 5 star match with Kurt Angle at No Way Out for the title. Then it went downhill, starting with this match. Henry had cost The Undertaker the WHC in a rematch with Kurt on Smackdown, so this match was made, and for some reason it was turned into a casket match. This match didn’t have the best of feuds behind it, but at least they did a good job of building Henry up as a decent threat (though nobody in their right mind thought he would win lol), having him beat Angle in a non title match, put Angle through a table, take out Batista, and even put The Undertaker through a table. So at least they were half trying :P. ‘Taker does a good job of selling for Henry, really putting over his strength. The theme of the match seems to be “can The Undertaker knock Henry down?”, as he keeps hitting big clotheslines, and even Old School, but fails to take down the World’s Strongest Man. Fun spot with Henry going for his Body Guillotine, where he goes through the ropes too, but The Undertaker moves and Henry goes right through the ropes and lands in the casket! He looks terrified at first, but gets his bearings and drags The Undertaker in the casket, and they have a brawl while being inside the casket. Impressive spot with The Undertaker hitting his corner Last Ride spot, finally taking Henry down, which causes Michael Cole to bust a nut. This is then followed by an even more impressive spot, as The Undertaker hits his signature top rope drive, clearing the casket too, and landing on Mark Henry! The Undertaker then shows us HIS strength, as he picks up Mark Henry and Tombstones him! All that’s left for him to do is roll Henry into the casket, and this one is over. Like the majority of WrestleMania 22, this is an extremely fun match. It’s not one of his best, but it’s still got “watchablilty”, and a number of memorable spots. The match told a nice simple story, with The Undertaker trying to overcome the power of Henry and just take him off his feet. **1/2.

Match 8 – Shawn Michaels Vs Vince McMahon – We had a hardcore match earlier, now time for a no holds barred match! Difference? They can’t pin each other outside the ring lol. Gotta love all the names they have for essentially the same match. STREET FIGHT. EXTREME RULES MATCH. NO DQ. FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE. HIT EACH OTHER WITH WEAPONS AND THE REFEREE WON’T DO ANYTHING. McMahon has the most awesomely terrible power strut ever. Poor King and JR. HBK throws Vince on them. What a nice guy he is! He also uses some cable to choke Vince out. BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN. HBK goes to hit Vince with his Muscle and Fitness Cover, and JR just screams “HIT HIM IN THE HEAD WITH IT AND SHOVE IT UP HIS ASS!”. JR rules. The Spirit Squad aka Dolph Ziggler and the others who all quit the business show up and attack Shawn while Vince recovers. Shawn buries them. So Dolph hasn’t exactly moved up much since then lol. So Shawn takes care of the SS, allowing Vince to sneak up behind Shawn and gain a little advantage until he goes for a superkick of his own which doesn’t go well and Shawn is back in control. JR is awesome on commentary, screaming for Shawn to pretty much murder Vince lol. His voice is awesome too, a mix between Gordon Solie and Lance Russell (JR’s voice gets gravelly when he gets angry or really excited), which is probably why I like him as much as I do lol. SHANE JUST GOT HIS AS BURRIED IN HIS DAD’S CRACK. Which made no sense because it was his head, but sounded awesome anyway lol. In case you can’t figure it out, Shane McMahon came to help his dad. He gets his face shoved in Vince’s ass, then gets handcuffed to the ropes and beaten with a kendo stick then is forced to watch HBK destroy his dad. BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN. Vince bleeds, gets hit with weapons, superkicked, and then the final blow is an elbow to Vince who is inside a trash can on a table. Great spot, and the DX chop got a massive pop (and would again later in the night which got people buzzing about a DX reunion which ended up happening). Tremendously fun match with HBK basically squashing the shit out of Vince in the best way possible. And then Vince giving Shawn the middle finger while being stretchered away is great along with JR’s call of the whole thing. ***.

Match 9 – Kurt Angle Vs Randy Orton Vs Rey Mysterio – World Heavyweight Title match time. Eddie died so they gave Rey a big push. He won the RR, then lost his title match to Orton at NWO, then randomly got put back in the match because… Eddie died? Oh and Angle is the champ, but he doesn’t matter in the match lol. So lots of people were pissed at this time with the Eddiesplotation going on. Can’t blame them, BUT it is stupid to claim that the ONLY reason Rey got a push is because of Eddie’s death. Sorry, but Rey was gonna be getting a big push at some point anyway. He spent the first half of 2005 dominating Eddie in matches (winning wise), and was HUGELY over, and was rumoured to be in line for a big push anyway. Then Eddie past away, and decided to push Rey at that time in memory of Eddie (and let’s face it, who would you rather have the push; Rey or Chavo Jr? Yeah, thought so. So shut up). This match is… well, pretty terrible. Under 10 minutes, and it’s just a total SPOTZ match and nothing more. Both Orton and Mysterio look weak by tapping out to Angle, only with the ref down which was stupid. They just do moves and nothing more. Looks spectacular, but has absolutely nothing else going for it, and moves on their own mean dick. Rey wins the title, goes on to have a shitty booked title reign. *.

Match 10 – Candice Michelle Vs Torrie Wilson – NO.

Match 11 – John Cena Vs Triple H – WWE Title Match! Entertaining entrances. BEHOLD THE KING. THE KING OF KINGS. CM PUNK AS A CHICAGO GANSTER. Love how they glorified the MURDERING GANSTERS for Cena. Cena tries to look all cool and menacing dressed in a long coat like Gangsters did back then… but I can’t take him seriously in those 3/4 shorts or whatever the fuck they are called. WEAR SHORTS OR WEAR TROUSERS. I miss HHH’s Lemmy Moustache. And his long hair. He looks stupid with short hair. I miss Cena’s… uhhh… yeah he’s been the same for far too long, and none of his look actually looked good. Cena gets booed out of the building, and HHH is over as fuck as a face. They acknowledge it on commentary (makes a change from today, right lol?), and put a nice spin on it saying that “traditional” wrestling fans are cheering HHH because he’s more of a “wrestler” than Cena is. Complete fucking bullshit but I appreciate what they were trying to do, especially given the build for this match that was essentially HHH claiming that Cena CAN’T beat him because he isn’t as good a wrestler as he is. JR at least says how it annoys him that Cena gets called a bad wrestler when he isn’t. Fans chanting “you can’t wrestle” at Cena makes me lol. Though that being said, I was probably agreeing with them back in 06. Atmosphere is awesome for this one. Just a perfect example of a “big fight feel” match in wrestling. They work the story of HHH being a better wrestler by having HHH control Cena and come up with a counter every time Cena tries to get on a roll. Meanwhile Cena sticks to the very basics of what he is capable of; big punches, suplex and backdrops. Ref takes a low blow, and out comes Mr Sledgehammer and down goes Mr Cena! 1…2… KICK OUT! HHH can’t seem to beat Cena with wrestling, and now he can’t even beat him with a sledgehammer! HHH is off his game now, and Cena tries to take advantage with an F-U! HHH kicks out, so Cena goes out of his depth with a cross body. He misses, HHH tries for a Pedigree… and Cena counters with the STFU! So much for not being as good a wrestler as HHH! The Game taps out, and Cena retains the title! Great match. Atmosphere certainly helps it, along with the excellent JR commentary. Then we have the great story of HHH being the better wrestler, so Cena despite being the champion has to fight from the bottom right from the get go, and as the match goes on he gets better and better and eventually proves the game wrong by out wrestling him and making him TAP THE FUCK OUT. ***3/4.