WrestleMania XXX Ramble

Posted on: April 10th, 2014 by Big Cal

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WrestleMania XXX

 

So the show opens with Hulk Hogan, and I guess it’s kinda cool to see him on the show given the fact he was there for the 1st ever one and whatnot. Then Austin comes out, followed by Rock, and they all slurp each other and waste 20 minutes of our time :p. Didn’t really do anything for me, but for someone who is a fan of these guys they probably liked it.

 

Daniel Bryan Vs Triple H – Winner Gets Added to the WWE WHC Triple Threat Main Event Match

:mark:

Holy fuck, the video package for this match is immense. Song, while not something I’d listen to usually, is absolutely PERFECT for the whole thing. Build up for this match has been both unique and great overall. Unique in the sense that this WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, but a series of events FORCED WWE to push Bryan. The fans were a huge part of it, turning him into THE most popular star in the company for the last year or so at least. And then Punk left too. He was originally set to face HHH at WM (which honestly seemed weird as shit to me lol), so him leaving left the spot open for Bryan to take advantage of what imo SHOULD have been his spot to begin with anyway.

Holy fuck, STEPHANIE MCMAHON looks tremendous. THAT OUTFIT too. FAPTACULAR.

HHH gets another big “epic” WM entrance playing up on the whole King of Kings gimmick. It’s both cool and hilarious to me. Found it a little odd he didn’t go with the King of Kings entrance theme though.

DANIEL BRYAN :mark:. YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! The crowd are on fucking fire for the guy.

Damn, we had to wait 35 minutes before the first match finally starts at WrestleMania lol.

Love HHH wanting to start this off with a handshake. Works 2 ways for me; the first is that the last time this happened, HHH handcuffed Bryan and beat the fuck out of him. The other, seems more of a throwback to Bryan being “an Indy star” with ROH and how they had the code of honour. But this ain’t ROH. There is NO honour in this ring. So Bryan kicks the hand away and rolls up The Game to try and get a quick win!

Unfortunately for Bryan, all the attacks over the last few weeks have left him hurt, specifically the left arm and shoulder. As great as Bryan is in the ring, even a guy like HHH can counter the superior wrestling skills with just ONE shot to the injured arm.

HHH is the SESEBRAL SUSSASSIN~! Nice to see JBL bringing his A game to WM. I guess he’s just a B+ commentator 8*D.

Bryan showing the world and HHH that he’ll do ANYTHING to gain the advantage in this one and win. DIVE OVER THE TURNBUCKLE TO THE FLOOR~!

LOTS OF SHOTS OF STEPHANIE IN THAT FUCKING OUTFIT :mark:. Love Stephanie being there, not just because FAP, but because she’s awesome at screaming at Bryan all the way through, telling him he’s nothing and he’ll never win and shit.

The match has been pretty even so far until THE GAME attempts a Pedigree on the table, only to be countered by Bryan, which is in turn countered by HHH who SMASHES that bad arm onto the table! FUCKING OUCH! Stephanie loved it!

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Mmmmm… STEPHANIE in THAT OUTFIT shouting YES. WM XXX, ladies and gentlemen! :p

AWESOME counter to Bryan’s suicide dive, followed up by that AWESOME slam on the apron targeting Bryan’s bad arm, with some great trash talking from STEPHANIE!

I miss Drew McIntyre being pushed as something other than a pretend band member :(. He would do awesome shit like that on a weekly basis.

Awesome unique version of a crossface chicken wing (Hi BOB :) ). Followed by a CROSSFACE. Nice to see HHH changing things up and not sticking to basic arm locks and shit.

:mark: HHH with Bryan in the Crossface, telling Bryan to “ask them to help ya!”, meaning the YES MOVEMENT fans. If HHH was like this for his entire career I’d think better of him. I actually think it’s worse when he only brings out this kind of awesome in a super rare occasion. It’s like Orton currently. WE KNOW he can be good… he just doesn’t seem to be motivated enough to BE GOOD all the time. Why? Fuck knows.

Fans are awesome in this, really getting behind Bryan and not trying to be all “smarky” and cheering for HHH because he’s putting in his best performance in like, forever.

GERMAN SUPLEX~! ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX~! I like how we get the shades of Benoit with that, but done differently enough so we don’t quite get the “BENOIT FEEL” from them. We get to see the awesome moveset of Benoit in this match with both men doing various moves, but never in a way that makes you think “OMG BENOIT”, which is something WWE would be against :p.

HOLY FUCK HHH JUST DID A TIGER SUPLEX. HHH. TIGER SUPLEX. WHAT?

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Bryan is working on fighting back, starting with a big sunset flip powerbomb, then those running dropkicks in the corner, and then…

DEAD. Murdered at the hands of HHH and that fucking LARIAT. Awesome.

Somehow Bryan gets back into this thing again, attempts a headbutt, but HHH gets his knee up right into the injured shoulder! CROSSFACE! This could be it for the YES MOVEMENT!

Bryan fights and fights to get out of the hold any way he can, rolling HHH over but it only makes things worse. The fans get behind him though, and he finds a way to not only escape, but counter the hold into the YES LOCK :mark:.

Bryan has the fans to help him fight out of submissions, but HHH has STEPHANIE. I know if I had her on my side I’d do whatever I could to reach the ropes too! :p

DOUBLE SUICIDE DIVE! Bryan has got his second wind! YES! YES! YES! YES! HERE COMES THE RUNNING KNEE…

SPINEBUSTER~! PEDIGREE~! IT’S OVER… NO! BRYAN KICKED OUT!!! YES! YES! YES! YES!

HHH going for another Pedigree, Bryan counters into a pin but HHH STILL has the arms locked! Bryan plays dead so HHH can’t lift him into position, causing the game to SMASH HIS KNEE INTO BRYAN’S HEAD.

Speaking of head shots, kick to HHH’s head! RUNNING KNEE! RUNNING KNEE! RUNNING KNEE!!! THE GAME IS DOWN, THE GAME IS OVER!!!

DANIEL BRYAN WINS! DANIEL BRYAN IS GOING TO THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA!!! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

After the match, Stephanie slaps the shit out of Bryan before HHH attacks him from behind and mauls the bad arm! He wants to make sure Bryan can’t make the main event!

Awesome, awesome match. HHH looked better here than he has in YEARS. FUCKING YEARS. I’d still have both Undertaker WM matches ahead of this one, but for personal performances, this is the best from HHH in a long long long long long long long time. We’re talking about 6 years or so. His arm work was spot on, and he made Bryan looks incredible too. Really went above and beyond to bump like a champ for Bryan’s offence. Even took the running knee well for a change :p.

Bryan on the other hand was out of this world. The selling of the arm work, the comebacks, the bumping for HHH’s shit, getting the fans into the match. Best. In. The. World.

Stephanie looking FAPTACULAR certainly adds to the whole thing too :p.

Rating: ****
CAL SCALE – 5

 

Kane & The New Age Outlaws Vs The Shield

Why oh why did The Shield go from facing guys like Cena, Orton, Sheamus, Mysterio, Big Show, UNDERTAKER and others all last year to… Kane and the Old Age Outlaws?

JAWBREAKER LARIAT~! I <3 Ambrose for all time for adding that to his arsenal.

Amazing how DEAD the fans are after the first match. They honestly never pick up again until the main event, only popping for a few big moments.

ROMAN REIGNS absolutely dominates the fuck out of everyone. Rollins flies around, and Ambrose just throws himself into people and beats the fuck out of them :mark:.

SPEAR TO KANE~!

DOUBLE SPEAR TO THE OUTLAWS~!

DOUBLE TRIPLE POWERBOMB~!

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Match is DONE. Short, and a complete fucking SQUASH with The Shield taking out the old guard. For a match that looked awful on paper, it was booked to PERFECTION. We had the new guys dominating the old guys in quick fashion, showing the world that they are STILL the top dogs. I enjoyed it.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

Bunch of legends playing with toys backstage. Uhhhh… ok. DANGEROUS DANNY DAVIS :mark:. The original screwy referee :p.

 

30 Man Over The Top Rope Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Was disappointed we didn’t get any surprises in this match. No random legend, no random one night return or anything like that. Oh well. Match is filled with a ton of jobbers + like, 10 people who would stand a chance of winning. AND BRAD MADDOX~!

Match is a big clusterfuck until they get rid of all the jobbers and the ones left can work some fun exchanges and eliminations. Justin Gabriel takes on hell of a bump for his elimination though :mark:.

:lmao at Miz getting eliminated by Santino and the cobra. You know you suck when Santino beats you in any way.

Fandango is over again for just the one week, so good for him I guess lol. He eliminates BIG E, which is pretty impressive given how they’ve been pushing him. Then Sheamus eliminates him in an awesome way :mark:.

What happened to Rey? He’s turned into a fucking pussy. Getting on his knees begging Big Show not to hurt him. Didn’t he do that last week and attacked him from behind? Yet Big Show lets him go AGAIN here? Big Dumb Bastard…

:mark: at how Cesaro eliminates Mysterio :mark:. Guy rules.

Kingston does a RR type spot here, being launched over the ropes by Cesaro but keeping his feet on the steel steps, allowing him to enter the ring again! Kinda awesome tbh, and a spot I’ve always wondered why they hadn’t done before.

GIANT SWING~!

Loved the superkick to Ziggler while he was hanging upside down :mark:.

Cesaro and Show the final 2 men :mark:. Was begging for Cesaro to win this thing, but honestly thought they’d give the win to Show. Then…

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:mark: CESARO WINS!!! :mark:

Fun match once the bulk of the jobbers were gone.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

John Cena Vs Bray Wyatt

Yet another AWESOME video package from WWE. How do they not win fucking awards for this? Oh yeah, it’s wrestling, god forbid anyone praises them outside of the business. Again the song, while not something I’d normally ever listen to, is so damn PERFECT for the video and the basis of the match.

Anyone else find it weird that they quite often have bands play entrance themes live for HEELS at WM? Not complaining too much because it has usually meant things like MOTORHEAD showing up or LIVING COLOR last year, and that’s always good. Plus here it was awesome too. I find myself randomly humming Bray’s theme around the house, so listening to the damn thing live make it stick in my head even more :p.

Match starts off wonderfully, with Bray trying to sacrifice himself to Cena, to show the world that Cena ISN’T who or what he says he is. But Cena isn’t going to compromise himself. He doesn’t wait to take the cheap way out, he wants to EARN a victory.

The story for this match feels very similar to the Kane/Cena feud from a couple of years back lol, where Kane wanted to bring out the evil in Cena. Here though, it feels… well it IS better done. Just because of Bray’s character and all the promos leading up to this match. He doesn’t just want to make Cena into a monster, he wants to do it in order to show the world that HE IS RIGHT. That Cena ISN’T the guy he claims to be. And when that happens, regardless of the outcome of this match, BRAY WINS.

Cena gets frustrated with Bray and all the mind games and trash talk, and he finally snaps a little, taking the fight to Bray who is just LAUGHING while taking this beating. Cena is fighting a battle against himself here, as he struggles to stay who he is while also trying to destroy Bray. While I get what they are going for, and I AM liking what they are doing, I think it is definitely one of those times when the fan reactions towards Cena go against the story of the match. The fans WANT Cena to snap and be violent. They LIKE Bray. They BELIEVE in what Bray is saying about Cena. Crazy how the fans both play into the match on Bray’s behalf but at the time time kinda ruin what they are trying to do with Cena :lmao.

Things slow down a bit with Bray using a headlock, which I really didn’t understand lol. Seems out of place for Bray to use that hold, and it’s not like it fit into the story of the match anywhere.

Then THIS happens and makes up for it:

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:mark:

“HE’S GOT THE WHOLE WORLD, IN HIS HANDS” Oh man, the fans singing that mid-match was AWESOME. Ties into the whole “Bray is a cult leader” deal with the fans getting behind him, and being up against Cena helps too because a lot of the fans DO believe that Cena isn’t exactly what he claims to be lol.

TOP ROPE LEG DROP COUNTERED INTO A POWERBOMB~! :mark:

Ouch, that… weird move that Bray did looked like it HURT for real. Was an awkward spinning slam where Cena went ribs first into Bray’s knee, but almost like it wasn’t meant to happen like that lol.

APRON DDT~!

Bray is really taking the fight to Cena, capitalising on the fact that Cena seems to be freaked out by the whole situation and being more cautious.

DIVE ONTO HARPER AND ROWAN~! Almost like Cena was getting PARANOID and decided to take out Wyatt’s goons before they could really get involved. Further proof that Bray is in CENA’S HEAD and making him question everything.

Cena continues to battle with himself, as he picks up the steel steps and has a chance to DESTROY the false prophet. Unfortunately, as he battles with himself, he takes his eye of Bray and gets CREAMED.

:mark: Bray singing “he’s got the whole world, in his hands” while holding Cena’s head in his lap might be my favourite part of this match. A wonderful example of Bray adding oodles of character work into his matches.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT~! KICK OUT!!!

Interference from Harper and Rowan, almost costing Cena the match. And honestly, they were justified in doing it! HE ATTACKED THEM FIRST!!!

SPEAR TO HARPER THROUGH THE BARRICADE~! Cena letting out his frustrations on Harper knowing he won’t lose the match for it, nor technically prove that Wyatt is right as he isn’t letting the monster out on HIM.

SISTER ABIGAIL~! Dammit, Cena kicked out.

:lmao as Bray goes nuts on the outside and looks to use the Spanish announce table… the Spanish announce team scream at him and point to the new French announce table as if to say “break their table, not ours!!!” :lmao.

Cena won’t give up in the match. He just kicked out of Sister Abigail, so now Bray has to step up his game. He brings in a steel chair… and THROWS IT TO CENA. He’s trying to once again sacrifice himself in order to bring out the monster in Cena.

:lmao at the ref telling Cena not to do it because it’s not him. Cena seems to agree, and uses the chair on Rowan instead! AA to Wyatt, and Cena leaves with his legacy intact.

Awesome match. Great storytelling throughout, well executed, and some great action as well.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

The Undertaker Vs Brock Lesnar

Oh boy. I guess I gotta watch this again. I was in a daze for the rest of the day after watching this on Monday lol. Maybe I can watch it through different eyes this time around. After all, the shock of what happened is over. Kinda.

Build up for this was mostly just terrible… but they DID produce some great videos with Heyman basically TELLING US the Streak would end. But we didn’t listen. We didn’t believe. And why should we? The build was just Undertaker beating up Lesnar a couple of times, with Lesnar hitting an F-5 on the go home Raw show. That was it. They put very little effort into the whole thing. This was BUILD UP as a giant throwaway Streak match, just something to add another number to his ever growing list of WM wins, before moving on to say, Cena the next year.

Despite the poor build, my love for both guys + their history of great matches had me excited to see what they’d do.

Undertaker going somewhat OLD SCHOOL for his entrance, wearing the hat and coat rather than the hooded cloak attire he’d mostly used over the last few years. The caskets for all his victims was a great set too. Undertaker setting Lesnar’s on fire, basically destroying it, was also kind of a hint that the casket WOULDN’T BE NEEDED (nor could it be used because, you know, BLOWN UP). That’s if you wanna look at every little detail and try and get something out of it :p. WHICH I DO :p.

Bell rings and BAM, BAM BAM, huge rights and lefts from Undertaker to the BEAST Brock Lesnar. BELLY TO BELLY OVERHEAD by Lesnar! That just seemed to make the DEAD MAN mad.

Undertaker goes after the arm of Lesnar early on, something he’s known for, as it allows him to wear down his opponent and let him have the advantage early on.

Man, some fucking AWESOME shots to the face by Undertaker.

SNAKE EYES~! But instead of going for the running boot, Undertaker tries for a Chokeslam! Almost like he knows he should try and end this one early. But Lesnar counters into an F-5 attempt! Neither man can get that big move in so early, so they have to go back to wearing each other down. And then it happens. If I’m not mistaken, I believe THIS was where Undertaker got the concussion :(.

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After that move, Undertaker just wasn’t in the match like he was before, so I’d definitely go ahead and say that was the move that caused it. Such a shame. Really would have liked to see where the match would have gone had it not happened.

And yet, as unfortunate as it was, you could say it ADDED to the match. From this point on Undertaker is fighting just to try and stay in this match, showing that maybe he IS getting too old to hold on to the STREAK, especially against an opponent like BROCK LESNAR.

Despite the concussion, Undertaker, with help from Lesnar, has enough about him to still get shit done. Lesnar beats him up and beats him down, but Undertaker keeps showing signs of life, keeps coming back, and does little things like get his hands up to block shots. All things you’d expect from the Dead Man, only this time they weren’t as effective. He was showing signs that this could be the end of the Streak. That this could be too much for even Undertaker to handle. He’s TRYING to fight with all he’s got, but it just isn’t enough.

CHOKESLAM~! Undertaker manages to hit it, but he takes a little time to make a cover, and Lesnar ain’t staying down.

F-5!!! Undertaker JUST kicks out. He’s STILL The Undertaker, and still capable of hanging on to his Streak, but how much MORE of this can he take?

Undertaker is SO out of it, you can see Lesnar walking around while Undertaker is still down from the F-5, and has to TELL Undertaker to lock in Hells Gate. Undertaker can’t even lock it in properly :(.

But AGAIN, the actual action, not Lesnar having to call spots for Undertaker, works into the story of this whole match and feud. Undertaker is showing signs of being DONE, while still trying to hang on to the one thing he has left; his STREAK. But no matter what he does, be it Chokeslam or Hells Gate, Lesnar is UNSTOPPABLE. It’s like the roles are reversing before our very eyes. Now it’s UNDERTAKER being unable to put away the opponent. It’s a changing of the guard.

KIMURA LOCK~! UNDERTAKER COUNTERS INTO ONE OF HIS OWN~!

:lmao at the referee telling MARK to let go of the hold when Lesnar makes it to the ropes :p.

OLD SCHOOL COUNTERED INTO THE F-5 :mark: :mark: :mark:. Totally called the spot when I saw this match the first time, but it doesn’t make it any less awesome lol.

KICK OUT!!! UNDERTAKER IS STILL BREATHING! HE’S STILL FIGHTING!!!

Oh man, Heyman is incredible on the outside. “THIS IS YOUR DESTINY. HE’S TAKING THIS AWAY FROM YOU. YOU’RE BROCK LESNAR. YOU’RE A CONQUERER!”

LAST RIDE OUT OF THE CORNER~!

TOMBSTONE~! THE STREAK CONTINUES! NO!!! LESNAR KICKS OUT! LESNAR KICKS OUT!

UNDERTAKER SITS UP :mark:. He’s slowly getting back into this… but Lesnar counters another Tombstone attempt into a THIRD F-5!! Just like their Hell in a Cell match from 2002!

1…

2…

3?

LESNAR WINS! THE STREAK IS OVER! GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, THE STREAK IS OVER! 21-1!!! BROCK LESNAR HAS CONQUORED THE STREAK!!!

Wow. I mean just WOW. I’ve seen this already so I knew it was coming but… I think I’m back in shock lol. The Streak is OVER. Undertaker has been defeated at WrestleMania. WrestleMania 28 was billed as the “End of an Era”, and I’ve said my piece on that and how I DID feel like it was an end of an era, but THIS is on a whole other level. This might be the biggest shock and biggest moment in general I have EVER seen in wrestling. It’s crazy to think how a loss in a fake sport can affect me so much, but it does. Undertaker is THE single reason I fell in love with this business and why I have continued to watch all these years even when things got bad. His STREAK was something I’ve always loved, something I got behind every year despite who his opponent was. Even with the crappy build to this match, I was EXCITED for this match. Hell, it was the ONLY match on the show I was truly excited for. And for it to end, knowing I’ll never likely look at a WM match the same, even IF Undertaker was to wrestle a few more times, is just such a HUGE moment for me. I don’t know if this is his last match, a large part of me hopes it isn’t, but if it is… THANK YOU ‘TAKER. My all time favourite. One of the best EVER. A true legend who will go down in history as one of the biggest stars this business will ever see.

As far as the actual match goes, I enjoyed this a whole lot more the second time around. Yeah, probably WOULD have been even better without the concussion, but I don’t think the concussion TOOK ANYTHING AWAY from it. The story of the match/the feud going into it was that Undertaker was old and Lesnar was the one man to really take advantage of that, even at WrestleMania. Lesnar DESTROYED Undertaker, and despite trying to hang on, Undertaker just couldn’t get it done any more, and the Streak ended. A great story and a great match, one I appreciated a ton more this time around.

Maybe I’m overrating this because of my love for the Dead Man, but you know what? FUCK YOU. I don’t care.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Vickie Guerrero Diva Championship Invitational Match

Hmmm… was gonna NO this one, but since it’s only 6 minutes long I wanna watch just to see AJ retain the belt which no doubt caused people to go crazy :lmao.

AJ and Tamina go back to back while surrounded by the rest of the divas, and get mauled. Swear to Jebus I couldn’t name all the women in this match. Not like most of the matter anyway lol… especially with what happens on Raw the next night :lmao.

Lol, looked like we were gonna get a really badly put together TRIPLE Sharpshooter spot but someone rolled up Nattie from behind first. Thankfully.

:lmao at Summer. “YOU!!!” as she points and screams at AJ, only to be taken out. At least, I think it was Summer.

:lmao at half the women just literally SAT WATCHING THE MATCH because they can’t think of anything to do while someone else is being highlighted.

MOVES~! Everyone takes a turn at hitting someone with… a move. Don’t even think most of them were finishers or anything. Then again this IS a diva match so anything could be a finisher for them.

OMG THE BELLAS ARE ALONE IN THE RING WILL THEY FIGHT EACH OTHER? DO I CARE? THE ANSWER TO BOTH IS NO.

OMG THE BELLAS ARE ALONE IN THE RING AGAIN WILL THEY FIGHT EACH OTHER? THE ANSWER IS YES, BUT I STILL DON’T CARE.

Nice tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from… one of the divas.

:lmao at Niomi “pushing” Tamina off the ropes. SHE BOTCHED A PUSH.

AJ in the ring for like, the second time in the match (first time to start it lol). BLACK WIDOW. TAP OUT. AJ RETAINS :mark:.

Glad AJ retained, and while I’m not happy she lost it the next night, at least she lost it to Paige and not some random slut involved in this match. Am I the only AJ fan left btw? I mean, the only one who isn’t weirdly OBESSED with her. Just normally obsessed :).

Match is trash. But I don’t regret watching it :lmao.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

MEAN GENE~! He gets interrupted by THE FIRST WRESTLEMANIA MAIN EVENT!!! Paul Orndorff with that moustache is the most awesome thing I’ve seen ever. That and Piper shaking Mr T’s hand :lmao. ARRRGHHHH!!! :lmao

 

Randy Orton Vs Batista Vs Daniel Bryan – WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match

Main event time!!! Wow, only SEVEN matches on the main WM card? That’s awesome tbh. Meant all the matches got the time they needed. Some long, and some short (let’s face it, the 6 man tag and divas matches NEEDED to be short). Plus, no pointless giant music shows in the middle of the show, just some entrances sung live. Shame we still had that 20 minute slurp fest at the start of the show :p.

Bryan is injured going into this match, so he strikes first!!! Running dropkick to Orton, then as Batista tries for a powerbomb, he hurricanranas the Animal out of the ring. Aaaand then gets his arm SLAMMED to the mat and we are left with Batista Vs Orton :|.

Crowd are SILENT for Batista and Orton going at it :lmao. Could you seriously imagine if the main event STAYED as a singles match between these two? :lmao

YES! Bryan gets back into the ring. Because FUCK ME Batista/Orton was even duller than I thought it would be. Also good for the crowd because they don’t give a SHIT about anything not Bryan. And why should they tbh? Batista hasn’t done a damn thing worth cheering since he quit in 2010, and Orton, as Lawler pointed out on commentary, has been one big AFTER THOUGHT for this whole thing lol.

Bryan hits a diving headbutt! YES LOCK TO BATISTA!!! Nooo! Triple H shows up and drags the referee out of the ring. YEY STEPHANIE IS STILL IN THAT OUTFIT!!!

Batista takes advantage of the distraction with a Spinebuster and BATISTA BOMB. SCOTT ARMSTRONG IS BACK! BRYAN KICKS OUT THOUGH!!!

SUICIDE DIVE TO HHH, ARMSTRONG AND EVEN STEPHANIE MCMAHON!!! THE FANS ARE GOING NUTS!!!

But Bryan make a BIG mistake by hurting STEPHANIE. SLEDGEHAMMER TIME! Bryan takes it away and levels THE GAME right in the fucking FACE! Rollup to Batista as the normal ref gets back into the match, but bah, Orton breaks it up :(.

And now Orton and Batista decide to work together as a team in order to take out Bryan, because he’s NOT going to give up!!!

POWERBOMB INTO A NECKBREAKER THROUGH A FUCKING TABLE~! Bryan is destroyed, and fuck me, Orton lands BACK FIRST on a monitor. Oh, and yes, it was a NECKBREAKER, not an RKO. RKO is the other way around you plebs…

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Awesome spot, and a DAMN good way to take Bryan out of the match so the other two can go at it. Obviously sucks for fans as we wanna see BRYAN rather than Orton and Batista go at it, but yeah, great spot for the match. Like I said in my notes while watching for the first time, better than just a suplex though the table like… well actually like they’ve done a few times in triple threat matches lol.

Hilarious that they stretcher BRYAN out while ignoring Orton, despite the fact he was probably on the worse end of it all :lmao. I guess Batista picking him up is the reason.

Fuck me, moments after landing BACK FIRST ON A MONITOR, Batista slams Orton back first onto the table and then into the barricade :lmao. Poor bastard.

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! DANIEL BRYAN GETS OFF THE STRETCHER AND PUTS HIMSELF BACK IN THE MATCH!

YES LOCK TO ORTON! YES LOCK TO ORTON!!!

Fucks sake Dave, piss off already.

YES LOCK TO BATISTA! YES LOCK TO BATISTA!!!

Fucks sake Randy, piss off already.

:lmao at the “spear” by Batista to Bryan. He just kinda ran his head into Bryan’s shoulder.

RKO! Holy fuck the first time I saw this I actually thought Batista wasn’t kicking out. I mean, I wouldn’t put it past WWE to fuck up like that. THANKFULLY, Batista does kick out. Best thing he’s done since he quit in 2010 :p.

Orton runs at Batista for a Punt and… KNEE TO THE FUCKING FACE!!! :mark:

Batista throws Bryan out and goes for a cover… and thankfully Orton kicks out. Best thing Orton has done since… I dunno, the Elimination Chamber probably.

KNEE TO BATISTA! YES LOCK! TAP OUT BATISTA, TAP OUT BATISTA!

BATISTA TAPS OUT!

DANIEL MOTHERFUCKING YES BRYAN HAS JUST WON THE WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP IN THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA 30! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

A truly AWESOME fucking moment to end the show. WWE did the RIGHT THING. They did was what BEST FOR BUSINESS. And it was incredible. Bryan fucking deserves this moment and I’m glad he got it.

So the match… honestly, I don’t think it was all that good. It was downright AWFUL any time Bryan wasn’t involved. The match had its moments, and they all came from Bryan. Either him taking out THE AUTHORITY, taking that POWERBOMB INTO A NECKBREAKER THROUGH A TABLE, or RUNNING HIS KNEE INTO FACES, then applying the YES LOCK and fucking WINNING. Everything else just wasn’t good. And I’m not saying that JUST because I think Batista is a steaming pile of untalented turn and Orton is mostly an unmotivated cock, but because they genuinely did NOTHING unless Bryan was there with them.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 16

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