NXT Takeover: Dallas

Ok. I’ve never watched a FULL NXT Takeover show. I’ve rarely watched the TV show. Every now and then a match will come along that I wanna see (usually involving Sami Zayn) and I’ll watch it. But a full show? Never interested me. However, after sitting through a DECADE OF RAMBLES from 00 to 09 and seeing so much shite, people have been begging me to stop wasting my time on that and sit through something good, like NXT. So here I am. Watching a full NXT show and rambling on it. If this isn’t good, I will never let them forget it.

American Alpha Vs The Revival – NXT Tag Team Championship Match

My friend Tom (hai Tom) keeps telling me how awesome American Alpha are. If he lied to me, amma be sad.

The Revival look like a CAW team someone would make in a WWE game.

Gable seems to be super popular, always hear him get compared to Angle, and the fans in NXT like to chant his name to Angle’s theme tune lol.

at the commentator. He tries to make it sound like a big deal that American Alpha have only been teaming since July and are “already” wrestling for the tag titles . This in a company where some guys tag for the first time ever and win the belts .

SUPLEX CITY~! Wait, isn’t that Lesnar’s deal? LESNAR TO NXT TO KILL AMERICAN ALPHA~!

Too late, Dash just killed Gable with a clothesline. Lesnar only has Jordan to kill now.

I have to say, so far I am FUCKING LOVING this match. Definitely feels like a wonderful old school tag. Not exactly something I’d expect to see from an old school tag in DALLAS, unless it was the Midnight Express, but certainly something I’d expect from JCP. In fact this does remind me a lot of a great Rockers Vs Brainbusters tag. The faces had a long shine period at the start, then got cut off with a double team clothesline spot on the floor, and then we had some fucking AWESOME hot tag teases and unique ways to make sure no tag was made.

Botchamania chant for some double team move that didn’t exactly connect properly .

Oh wow this finishing stretch is absolutely tremendous. Some great near falls, but without using up any BIG finisher type moves. Hate when they waste a bunch of huge moves and completely ruin them.

ROLLUPS GALORE~!

Gotta say, I adore that tag finisher from American Alpha. Its simple, its basic, it looks like it would fit in during the 80’s but at the same time is still believable as a finisher in 2016.

We have NEW NXT Tag Team Champions! And we have a new American Alpha fan in me!

WrestleMania already has a HUGE task to follow this match. We’ll genuinely be LUCKY if anything on WM beats this.

JR IN THE CROWD~!

FUNAKI~!

KOTA IBUSHI~! Wait, the fuck is he?

Rating: ****
CAL SCALE – 5

Baron Corbin Vs Austin Aries

A Double! The Greatest Man That Ever Lived!

And he’s facing Borin Corbin. At least, that’s what he was the last time I watched him. I hear good things (mostly) about Corbin these days, but I’m still a bit sceptical.

did Aries just avoid a clothesline by being… too short to even have to duck under it?

Dammit. A fucking nerve grip. Corbin living up to the Borin Corbin name I gave him. Such a shame because he was doing well before that. I swear that hold should be illegal. All it does is suck the life out of any fucking match that uses it.

A holy shit chant for a back suplex on the floor? Ummm… ok. Oh wait no, it wasn’t an ordinary back suplex on the floor, but a spinning one. Which makes all the difference? Lol. At least Jordan and Gable’s double team one looks the part…

Oh and then Aries counters Corbin’s finisher in the ring with a rollup and wins.

*sigh* well this wasn’t exactly good. Aries was good in it, but Corbin in all honesty started good and then went to shit and it ruined the whole match for me. I just look forward to Aries getting to work with some good opponents next.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Sami Zayn Vs Shinsuke Nakamura

Before I even promised to ramble on this show, I knew I was gonna at least watch this match. Mainly because ZAYN, but also because everyone was excited for Nakamura and while I’d heard OF him, I’d never actually seen a match from him. And well, if his debut match is against Zayn, I think its time I change that.

Huh, so his name is pronounced SHINSKAY? I just assumed it was ShinSookay lol. I learned things .

Hall and X-Pac in the crowd too!!!

Well, good to see Nakamura has some personality lol. His entrance shows more charisma than half the main roster .

Nakamura seems to be taking the piss a little and just having fun, and just as Sami thinks this match is starting to be a joke, he lets his guard down and almost gets his fucking head kicked off . Zayn avoided the kick obviously, but now he realises that this is some serious shit despite how Nakamura might be acting.

Now Zayn trying to get into the head of Nakamura by imitating him after some awesome DEEP ARM DRAGS~!

HEAD KICKS~!

Poor Sami just keeps getting kneed to the face and head.

They exchange forearm shots for… well, WAY too fucking long, but I guess the crowd are into it at least so that’s something, right?

Nakamura’s nose gets busted open and he ends up kicking the shit out of Zayn in response .

Fans chant “we love strong style” (urgh, btw) while Zayn is getting the shit kicked out of him, so when he recovers he absolutely blasts Nakamura and turns him inside out with a sweet fucking clothesline, almost like he was was doing it as a big “fuck you” to the fans for loving Nakamura kicking the shit out of him .

Man, Zayn is really giving it to Nakamura. Punches and kicks right to the head, showing the world that he can beat the shit out of people too.

KOJI CLUTCH~!

Another kick to the fucking HEAD of Zayn~!

a “FIGHT FOREVER” chant .

Looks like we’re into the finishing stretch now. Some nice counters going on and holy fuck I don’t think I’ve seen as great of a near fall off the Blue Thunder Bomb as that one.

Zayn goes for the DDT through the turnbuckle, but gets KICKED IN THE HEAD. Again. Lol. Still got nothing on the European Uppercut counter .

Running spin kick to the head finally finishes off Zayn. Is that his finisher, then? Cos during the match it seemed like they were building up a running knee (the one that Bryan used?) for Nakamura?

Ok. Well. This match, huh? Overall I very much enjoyed it, no doubt about that. However it DID have some issues, mainly that awful forearm exchange that went on far, far too fucking long. Didn’t help that a lot of the strikes didn’t exactly look good either, considering Nakamura was being hyped as the best Strong Style worker in the world . However those are really only minor complaints. Well, a bit more than minor for the forearm exchange maybe . Not enough to ruin the match for me though, just not think as highly of it compared to what I expect most people to do.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

Nice standing ovation for Zayn afterwards, and I’m guessing this is his big NXT send off and he’ll now officially be on the main roster full time.

Bayley Vs Asuka – NXT Women’s Championship Match

And Asuka is pronounced Aska. Are all “U”‘s silent in Japanese names?

Ok then. The NXT Women’s Division. It has been getting rave reviews for a long time now. Most of the ones who made it so good are now on the main roster and people are liking how the main roster division is improving (mostly) with those names too.

Me though? I just haven’t cared. At all. I haven’t seen any of the big women’s matches that have been praised like crazy. I don’t watch any women’s matches any more. I just don’t care. In fact, I don’t watch that much WRESTLING any more either. I skip through Raw and maybe see 10 minutes in total, and honestly that rarely involved a match. I skip most PPV matches. Nothing interests me much these days, so it isn’t like I’m actively against the females or anything, I’m just not that interested in anything these days lol.

However, I promised I’d watch ALL of this event and dammit that’s what I’m gonna do.

What the fuck are the crowd singing? is this a regular thing for Bayley matches?

Ok, didn’t spend much time talking about the match here. One way to describe it though, is that its the female version of the previous match lol. Bayley is the plucky babyface that keeps on going and the fans love her for it, while Asuka is a brutal STRONG STYLE wrestler who will beat the shit out of you.

And you know what? This was the BETTER version of the match! Asuka’s strikes looked better, and I just found it far more enjoyable with some better counters, no stupid 2 minute forearm exchange, and a better finish too imo.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

Finn Balor Vs Samoa Joe – NXT Championship Match

JOE IS GONNA KILL YOU. And take your NXT Championship . Then again… I reckon whoever loses this match will go to the main roster after WM… so actually I want Joe to lose because fuck Balor .

Oh yeah I don’t like Balor. Any time I’ve seen him wrestle, he has impressed me about as much as Borin Corbin. Seems all he is good for is his special painted entrance.

BOBBY ROODE IS IN THE CROWD!!! FUCK YES!!!

Why does Balor have a chainsaw for his entrance? Is that normal these days? Or is it a reference I don’t get? Not like Funk gave the chainsaw to him…

Fucking hell lol, Joe already bleeding a minute into the match .

Welp, there goes a security guard!

at Joe shoving the ref off him when he tries to wipe away some blood, then the ref gets another sneaky wipe in and Joe looks like he’d murder him if he did it again .

They finally have to deal with Joe’s cut as it seems to keep bleeding . The fans aren’t happy about it because they are blood thirsty cunts apparently . Come on, guys. This has been going on for YEARS now, how are you not used to it yet?

Well, the cut STILL isn’t sorted and they have to stop the match again to deal with it some more. I hope this doesn’t keep happening. Once is fine, I understand it has to happen. But when it happens again it does take away from the match due to having to stop shit and whatnot.

Luckily the stoppages so far haven’t killed the match or anything, and Joe imo is fucking carrying this entire thing right now and has been doing since the start.

Is anyone a heel in NXT? Every match tonight, the fans have chanted for both guys/teams at some point.

Match is getting a “this is awesome” chant and I’m honestly baffled as to why. It isn’t bad, but it sure as fuck isn’t awesome. Fans these days, so easily pleased.

RANDOM MUSCLE BUSTER~! And I swear the fans were basically expecting a kickout so there was no awesome near fall from it or anything.

Why are the fans chanting 1 number ahead of the ref during a 10 count?

We get a Bret/Austin SVS 96 finish and that’s that. Meh. Not a bad match, but oh boy was this mediocre as fuck compared to almost everything else on the show .

Ah well, at least it looks like Balor is staying in NXT and JOE will hopefully move up to the main roster!

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

Overall CAL SCALE – 14.5