SummerSlam 2004
Time to take off the wrapping and finally watch this on DVD, despite owning it for like a year lol!
The Dudley Boys Vs Rey Mysterio, Billy Kidman & Paul London
6 man tag action to start off the show. Remember when Spike turned heel and became THE BOSS of the Dudley Boys? 
“THIS IS GONNA BE A ROUGH AND TUMBLE 6 MAN TAG” .
I love Bubba as a heel. I’LL BEAT YOUR FACE IN~!
Love when Rey gets tagged in. He’s PISSED at Spike because he cheated to win the CW title from him AND put him through a table a couple of weeks ago. So Rey beats the shit out of Spike, and it’s pretty good. Also love when Spike kicks out of a pin attempt, so Rey just kicks him HARD in the back for having the nerve to actually kick out lol.
Seems that Rey was essentially the hot tag, despite London not really being much of a FIP. They just didn’t get the time. Kidman tags in and also seems to be something of a hot tag despite the fact Rey was never FIP lol, but Kidman runs in and takes everyone out and nearly wins the match a couple of times, before the Dudley’s hit a 3D and this is done.
Fun opener, but just didn’t get the time to really turn into a great tag that it EASILY could have been, because Rey and London could have no doubt been pretty sweet FIP guys lol. Oh well. Enjoyable for what it was.
Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5
Kane Vs Matt Hardy – Till Death Do Us Part Match: Lita Will Marry the Winner
Just like their previous PPV match, Matt starts the match off on fire. He wants to end this match quick, because the longer it goes the more chance Kane will get hold of him and murder him lol.
TWIST OF FATE ON THE FLOOR~! Damn, I don’t think Kane’s got any offence in outside of an uppercut for the first few minutes! I guess Matt really wants to marry Lita lol.
And Lita definitely wants to marry Matt, as she throws in the ring bell to Matt and distracts the referee! Kane gets his skull caved in with a SICKENING shot, but kicks out at 2!!!
Matt pretty much DOMINATED this match… but in the end it takes one giant Chokeslam from the ropes to give the win to KANE.
Match is a bit disappointing, especially after their really fun brawl at the previous PPV. Plus it was pretty much just MATT beating up Kane, then Kane winning at the end lol.
Rating: *1/2
CAL SCALE – 0
Orton interview backstage… then Cena shows up with a cheesy grin on his face. Awful stuff from him.
Booker T Vs John Cena – Best of 5 Series United States Championship Match 1
I am not going to attempt this one.
Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1
Bischoff talks to the new SD GM, Teddy Long, and says that there is a good chance Teddy won’t be GM by Survivor Series. Joke is on Bischoff, because Teddy would be around FOREVER…
Batista Vs Edge Vs Chris Jericho – Intercontinental Championship Match
Edge getting booed in his hometown .
Edge is posing in the ropes and Batista clubs him from behind and kicks him out of the ring. Great start to the match for the hometown “hero” Edge 
.
Edge returns to the match with a chop block to Batista who is about to powerbomb Jericho. What a stupid thing to do. LET HIM POWERBOMB JERICHO FIRST. That way, JERICHO IS OUT OF THE MATCH FOR A WHILE. Make it 1 on 1. Have a better chance of WINNING. Dumb shit. NO WONDER YOUR HOMETOWN HATES YOU!!! 
at Batista. Takes a dropkick and is SUPPOSED to go through the ropes but… well… have a look…
Edge and Jericho get some time alone, which results in more Edge getting booed by his hometown fans LOL.
Edge tries to Spear Batista, but they do the spot where someone (in this case, Jericho lol) runs from the side and stops it… but the timing is off and Edge ups up STOPPING to Jericho can hit him .
Spear to Jericho and this one is over in a flash. Underwhelming finish to an underwhelming match lol. This sucked.
Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0
Eddie Guerrero Vs Kurt Angle
Urgh. I wanna skip this, but a big Eddie PPV match? I’ll suffer. Maybe I’ll like it. Maybe I’ll win the lottery tonight.
I don’t care for their WM match at all. And I always thought this was WORSE. Yey…
Eddie comes out in a lowrider as usual, and Tazz questions where Eddie found one in Canada. Despite the fact the lowrider has LOFLIFECUSTOMS.COM plastered on the windscreen. It’s a mystery, Tazz.
They spend the first few minutes rolling around on the mat wrestling and then…
ANKLE LOCK~! By Eddie. Angle channels THE MOUNTAIN and escapes with a pretty vicious thumb to the eye.
ANGLE SLAM~!
ANKLE LOCK~!
EDDIE WITH AN ANKLE LOCK ON ANGLE WHILE ANGLE HAD AN ANKLE LOCK ON EDDIE~!
ANKLE LOCK~!
ANKLE LOCK~!
Apparently hitting his finisher then applying his submission finisher THREE TIMES isn’t enough so Angle decides to WORK THE ANKLE a little to soften it up 
.
ANGLE SLAM BY EDDIE~!
Eddie unties his boot ala WM XX. Then, despite being in a bunch of Ankle Locks and having his ANKLE WORKED OVER afterwards… he manages to pull of 3 Amigos with the greatest of ease. It happened to Benoit and it’s happening to Eddie; The Angle Effect. It makes his opponents turn into retards. They forget the basics of wrestling like telling a coherent story or selling.
ANGLE SLAM~! Because this match needed another one.
Angle rips off the boot that Eddie untied before applying ANOTHER ANKLE LOCK, to avoid the same finish as WM. So Eddie instead uses the boot to deck Angle in the face.
FROG SPLASH~!
Guess what? THE MATCH STILL ISN’T OVER.
ANKLE LOCK~!
Eddie survives for about a minute and then finally taps.
This. Was. Garbage. There is practically NOTHING to this match besides finishers, be they high impact or submission. Over and over and over and over again. Lack of selling in between them too. Urgh.
Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0
Triple H Vs Eugene
Well isn’t this ironic? I just watched Angle turn Eddie into a retard, and now I get to see HHH beat one up.
Eugene is getting the better of HHH at the start of the match . The Canadian fans are BOOING A RETARD.
So, how does HHH gain control? Does he out wrestle the retard? Nah, he uses Lillian Garcia (FAP FAP BTW) to distract him. HHH HAD TO DISTRACT A RETARD TO GAIN CONTROL OF THE MATCH. THIS IS A PPV MATCH. ONE OF THE BIG 4 PPV’S OF THE YEAR. FEATURING HHH, THE GUY WHO MAIN EVENTED WRESTLEMANIA XX AS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION EARLIER IN THE YEAR. HE’S FIGHTING A RETARD.
had to laugh at Eugene doing the 10 punches in the corner, but stopping at 8 and using his finger to figure out how many he had left .
Once again, HHH is unable to beat Eugene with WRESTLING… so he has to trick him. Fakes an injury then attacks him from behind. HHH TRICKED A RETARD TO GAIN CONTROL OF THE MATCH. THIS IS A PPV MATCH. ONE OF THE BIG 4 PPV’S OF THE YEAR. FEATURING HHH, THE GUY WHO MAIN EVENTED WRESTLEMANIA XX AS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION EARLIER IN THE YEAR. HE’S FIGHTING A RETARD.
So… HHH beats up a retard. On PPV. And the fans are loving it. They finally pop for Eugene when he gives HHH the middle finger and stuns him though .
PEDIGREE BY EUGENE~! Flair puts HHH’s foot on the ropes. HHH NEEDED HELP FROM FLAIR TO SURVIVE A MATCH WITH A RETARD.
Flair gets sent to the back, but from behind comes WILLIAM REGAL who fucking decks the Nature Boy with brass knucks! Eugene is too distracted and ends up turning around into a Pedigree, and HHH FINALLY beats the retard.
I used to like this. But that was when I wasn’t sleeping. Now I am, and fuck me I hated this. A main eventer against a retard on PPV. And the main eventer struggled to win. Just awful tbh.
Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0
Diva Dodgeball
So this is just an excuse to get the diva search girls in bikini’s bouncing around.
Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1
JBL Vs The Undertaker – WWE Championship Match
Fucking FINALLY, something to sink my teeth into on this damn show. Thank jebus for the 2 main events otherwise this PPV would be awful lol.
Man, Undertaker is fucking awesome (newsflash, I know…). He even stares down the guy who he hands his coat and hat to .
2 big Texans punching each other in the face 
.
They go back and forth, until Orlando Jordan causes a distraction (by getting kicked in the face lol), allowing JBL to go after ‘Taker’s leg and smash it with a chair!
at the spot where Undertaker is walking up the steps and JBL pulls the good leg from under him, causing him to crash down onto the steel steps with the bad one .
The Canadian fans are doing a Mexican Wave because… I dunno, they are retarded? Lots of retards on this show tonight.
Undertaker and JBL are smashing each other in the face and Undertaker is busting out some cool MMA moves… and the fans are randomly chanting shit to amuse themselves. Urgh. Surprised a fucking Super Dragon chant didn’t start up.
The Dead Man sells the leg really well, and JBL does a nice job of continuing to go back to it even when Undertaker is building some offence.
SNAKE EYES~! And Undertaker follows it up with… a clothesline! Which I liked because doing the big boot would put extra pressure on the bad leg!
CHOKESLAM~! JBL kicks out!!!
CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL~! Undertaker kicks out!!!
REF BUMP~! WWE TITLE TO THE FACE~!
the referee is still out of it, so OJ does the count for him… and Undertaker STILL kicks out at 2!!!
Obvious Last Ride spot is obvious.
Undertaker punches JBL in the face with the title! Bah, the referee sees it and this one is over 
. JBL retains his title by DQ. So Undertaker chokeslams him through the top of the limo!
Great match. Always liked this one. 2 big bastards punching each other in the face. What’s not to love?
Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4
Chris Benoit Vs Randy Orton – World Heavyweight Championship Match
JR and Lawler bring up Orton’s family being in the business, and Lawler makes a joke about Randy’s dad being “injury prone” (cos of the cast on his hand for years duh), and comes out with “but not this one, not his son!”. And I laugh because Orton just has to punch the mat wrong while setting up an RKO and his shoulder will crumble .
Match has a nice “big fight feel” to it at the start. This match was only announced two weeks before SS, so they didn’t have any big personal feud going into the match, and honestly here I think it works out for the better. It’s simply the veteran Chris Benoit, who after years of struggling and fighting is finally the WHC, defending against the cock young rookie, who is desperate to prove that he IS the future of this business.
They start off very basic, locking up and doing a couple of Greco-Roman knuckle locks. Benoit is so damn quick he keeps turning the locks ups into other holds, frustrating Orton and gaining the advantage for himself. So Orton tries to turn it into more of a fight, only to run right into a Steamboat style arm drag and Orton just screams in pure frustration that he allowed himself to get caught like that. Awesome.
Man, I mentioned it in my Vengeance 04 review a bunch, but fuck, Benoit’s style is just super. Constantly fighting, and constantly make his opponent fight too. You don’t simply grab Benoit and hit a suplex; you gotta WORK for it, and it’s amazing how such a small thing can really make a match that much HOLY FUCK BENOIT JUST KILLED HIMSELF. WITH A SUICIDE DIVE. THE IRONY. Sorry lol, was typing something and them BOOM. This happened:
And from there, Orton wisely goes after the neck of Benoit, which of course was also surgically repaired a couple of years back which isn’t going to help anything after going head first into the barricade.
love that neckbreaker Orton does.
HEADLOCK~! And like the Edge Vengeance match, it looks great, plays perfectly into the match and ISN’T anything close to being a rest hold!
SHARPSHOOTER~! IN CANADA~! WITH EARL HEBNER AS THE REFEREE~!
Orton gets to the ropes, but he spent enough time in it to give Benoit the chance to recover, and now the CRIPPLER can build some momentum!
GERMAN SUPLEXES~!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT BENOIT WENT FOR A HEADBUTT AND ORTON GOT HIS LEGS UP AND BENOIT DOVE HEAD FIRST INTO ORTON’S BOOT .
RKO OUT OF NOWHERE~! ORTON IS THE NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!
Terrific match. I think I prefer their Raw rematch the next night, but damn this rules. Benoit and Orton just have amazing chemistry, which is evident by the fact this is probably only their FOURTH best match together imo!!!
Rating: ****
CAL SCALE – 5
Overall CAL SCALE – 7.5