SummerSlam 2013 Thoughts & Predictions!

Posted on: August 18th, 2013 by Big Cal

You know, I can’t remember the last time I was THIS excited for a PPV!

Dean Ambrose Vs RVD – US Title – Kickoff Show

Well this was only announced on Raw so there isn’t any feud behind it really, but they did try and put some effort into it by having RVD pin Ambrose in a 6 man tag on SD this week. Ambrose is a guy I really like, and while RVD isn’t, I still think they can have a good match together. With Reigns & Rollins on the outside along with Henry & Big Show I’m expecting some chaos for the finish, hopefully with a tag title match made on the spot so we get Henry & Show Vs Reigns & Rollins which I honestly thought was gonna be on the PPV.

Winner – Dean Ambrose – RVD got the upperhand on SD so by WWE’s logic he won’t win (70% of the time it’s accurate 100% of the time). Plus, despite the fact WWE aren’t going all out with The Shield any more I doubt they’d have Ambrose lose the belt on a pre-PPV show with pretty much zero build.

Natalya Vs Brie Bella

THIS made it on the PPV? Seriously? I didn’t even know it was a thing until I looked up the card so I could write this. It’s happening because… they don’t like each other on WWE’s shitty diva “reality” show? Fuck off. Talk about a shit stain on what is otherwise a tremendous card.

Cody Rhodes Vs Damien Sandow

What’s this? An actual honest to fuck MID CARD FEUD? I’m pleasantly surprised, WWE :). Build up has been fun, and I’m glad that they actually have had Cody admit that he’s been a dick to Sandow in this whole thing rather than them continuing to claim that Cody is the angel here and Sandow didn’t have any right to win an every man for themselves NQ fucking Ladder match lol. Feud has produced some funny TV (Sandow screaming for help when Cody throws the briefcase into the river, followed by Sandow jumping in and saying he can’t swim… while nobody tries to help him LOL), and it’s just nice for a mid card feud to actually exist again. Could help put both guys over, especially Cody who needs it more than Sandow, as Sandow will be thrust into the main event scene regardless thanks to his MITB win. As for the actual match… I have my reservations because I’m not that high on either man, especially Sandow. As great as his character work is I am still not sold on him in the ring. But as long as the crowd are in it (anyone reading this who is attending the show… MAKE LOTS OF FUCKING NOISE AND SHIT DAMMIT) and they don’t fuck a ton of spots up and they actually play up on the HATE~! from the feud, this could be a fun match at the very least.

Winner – Cody Rhodes – He’s technically the babyface here looking for revenge, and well, despite the fact I disagree with having MITB winners constantly losing after winning the briefcase because in WWE’s mind it doesn’t matter as they’ll be champion anyway… Cody DOES need this win more than Sandow. Sandow can lose and still come out on Raw and gloat about being the next WHC and shit.

Dolph Ziggler & Kaitlyn Vs Big E Langston & AJ Lee

Not overly fond of this match happening, but I guess it is better than having 2 singles matches instead. Ziggler can bump like crazy for Big E, AJ can try and tear apart her ex, and Kaitlyn can stand on the apron until the end and hit a spear or something. I really hope Ziggler can move on from the whole AJ stuff after this, and I hope AJ can move on from the Kaitlyn stuff too. Where to, fuck knows because the rest of the divas division is terrible.

Winners – Dolph Ziggler & Kaitlyn

Kane Vs Bray Wyatt – Ring of Fire Match

An inferno match… where you don’t set anyone on fire to win. Kinda seems pointless tbh. But Wyatt’s character is awesome atm and this whole feud has been a crazy storyline that could result in a fun match. Neither are great in the ring but this could be a fun brawl with the cool factor added to it thanks to the ring being surrounded by fire.

Winner – Bray Wyatt – Expecting Kane to lose here, giving the Wyatt Family a rub while also likely being taken out afterwards so he can go film See No Evil 2 (because we needed another, apparently…). Then when he comes back maybe he’ll have a big beard and no mask and join the Wyatt Family :P.

Alberto Del Rio Vs Christian – WHC Match

So Christian getting the #1 contendership seemed out of nowhere… and then they’ve essentially IGNORED this entire match until like, SD this week. Yeah, way to get people excited for a WHC match, WWE. I’m still pumped for it though because Christian is awesome and these two have great chemistry. They had a couple of really good TV matches back in 2011 leading up to WM, then an awesome ladder match at ER where Christian first won the WHC. Feud might have sucked, but the match has potential to be a MOTYC.

Winner – Alberto Del Rio – Christian just doesn’t come across as a threat to the title imo, mainly thanks to WWE ignoring this match for the last month. Maybe if they’d attempted some kind of build they could have made Christian look like a legitimate threat, but no. It just feels like a filler feud until… well I don’t know tbh. Who is Del Rio going to work with after this? Anyway, I don’t think Del Rio is losing.

CM Punk Vs Brock Lesnar – The Best Vs The Beast

Once it was clear WWE were giving us this match at SummerSlam, I might as well have just posted that picture of Fry from Futurama holding out his money with the caption “just take my money”. Because WWE can have my money for THIS match alone. Build up has been tremendous. Like, really fucking incredible. They’ve all done a great job; they being Heyman, Lesnar and Punk. Great promos, great segments, and some great brawls. I absolutely cannot wait for this one. This is about as Non-PG as I think we’re going to get while WWE are still PG. Punk seems to be getting busted open the hard way every week nowadays so I’m expecting some blood, and plenty of downright dirty and gritty and nasty FIGHTING all the way. Another match with all the potential in the world to be a MOTYC, and depending on how the main event does, could very well end up as the MOTY overall. EXCITED!!!

Winner – Brock Lesnar – Took me a while to think of a winner for this one, but in the end I settled for Lesnar. Punk winning would be great for him no doubt, but if he loses they could really run with this Punk Vs Heyman feud. Give a bit of a rub to Curtis Axel (not that I like him or anything, but they seem to be going with him a little), maybe even add a couple more guys to Heyman’s “stable” and give them a chance to shine in big matches against Punk, then finally end next year, maybe at WM, with Punk finally getting a big win over Lesnar with the stipulation that if he wins he gets 5 minutes alone with Heyman or something. You know, something OLD SCHOOL-Y and simple yet awesome at the same time. Plus Lesnar could use another win too if they want to keep him looking like a true BEAST.

John Cena Vs Daniel Bryan – HHH Special Guest Referee – WWE Title Match

Oh man, what a fucking MAIN EVENT!!! This is like 2011 all over again but with Bryan in Punk’s place. I just hope to fucking christ they don’t fuck it up like they did with Punk. The build up for this one has been half and half. Bryan has been great, Cena has cut some great promos… but they seem to really be confusing shit and both guys have ended up coming across as very heel-ish with some of the things they have said and they really shouldn’t have done that imo. Plus Bryan seems to have spent more time feuding with Wade Barrett over a fucking beard than he has with Cena. And then we have the HHH Vs Vince angle thrown in there too. Bryan Vs Cena on its own would have, could have and should have been awesome, but they seem obsessed with taking the hottest thing in the company and sticking HHH in there because… I dunno, he’s bored sat in an office somewhere.

Winner – Joh… no wait… Danie… no… Randy Or… I JUST DON’T KNOW OK!?! – Seriously, I just can’t make a prediction here. They could do their usual shit and have Cena win. But then they could finally capitalise on Bryan and have him win. But Orton has MITB and has teased a bunch of times about cashing in at SS. And you have Vince who doesn’t want Cena or Bryan to leave as champ so he could align with Orton to make that happen. Or HHH could turn heel and screw either Cena or Bryan out of the title as well as possibly aligning with Orton (again) and making sure he’s the champion. Or maybe Kevin Nash will text himself and ruin the entire thing again. Screw it, Bryan is winning and if Orton cashes in he’s making the Viper tap out like a biatch!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *