Month: November 2015

 

Backlash 2009

 

cannot wait to re-watch some of the matches on this show!

 

Christian Vs Jack Swagger – ECW Championship Match

Now THIS is how you start off a PPV!!! Their 24/02/2009 ECW TV match is one of the best TV matches to ever happen ANYWHERE, and based on my memory, this isn’t AS good, but is still a fucking tremendous match .

Swagger just fucking MANHANDLES Christian early on using a mix of his size, power and pure wrestling skills and he looks legit as FUCK doing it. How does Christian counter this? BITCH SLAP~!

HOLY FUCK Swagger just picks Christian up over his head with EASE, walks over to the turnbuckle and LAUNCHES him to the floor. I swear that might be one of the most impressive FEATS OF STRENGTH I’ve seen in a wrestling match. Sure plenty of the roster could press slam Christian, but I don’t know how many could do it with the sheer ease Swagger was able to do it.

‘GATOR ROLL~!

Swagger countering Christian’s crazy turnbuckle kick thingy is fucking awesome. Swagger certainly held up his own during these Christian matches, but based on other matches with other opponents, you gotta believe that Swagger only looked THAT GOOD is because of Christian. Christian was just on fucking FIRE in 09 and could give guys the best matches of either their early careers (such as Swagger here) or even their lengthy careers (Dreamer comes to mind).

The epic 24/02 match features some of the absolute greatest arm work to ever take place in a match ever. Here, Swagger is working over the mid-section of the veteran Christian, which began with the insane body press slam over the ropes. Man, Christian takes a knee to the gut while running and looks like he DIED ON IMPACT.

Swagger focusing on the mid-section is all leading up to the Gut Wrench Powerbomb, and Christian knows this and manages to prevent the ECW champ from potentially ending the match with it by holding on to Swagger’s legs for his life! When Swagger realises Christian ain’t going up for the Powerbomb, he switches up and busts out another move instead to remain in control of the match and further wear down Captain Charisma .

OKLAHOMA STAMPEDE~! Well, Swagger slams Christian into one turnbuckle, then Christian counters with a roll up, before getting up and Swagger resuming the move!

Swagger takes of a turnbuckle pad, but gets caught by the referee. While he’s arguing with the ref, the veteran Christian takes this opportunity to expose another turnbuckle without anyone seeing! Swagger runs at him, smashes into the steel and gets hit with the KILLSWTICH~!

We have a NEW ECW champion in Christian! And so begins the incredible reign, where Christian carries an entire brand on his shoulders for the next 10 months!!!

Incredible match, so smartly worked by both men. Love it.

Rating: ****1/4
CAL SCALE – 6

 

Christian gets congratulated backstage by his fellow ECW guys, then notices EDGE and walks over to him for a conversation only to have Edge be a cunt to him. As much as I can’t stand Edge, I do with we’d gotten one more short run of E&C at some point.

 

Chris Jericho Vs Ricky Steamboat

STEAMBOAT~!

So at WM 25, Jericho took on 2 WWE Legends in a 2 on 1 handicap match. They were Piper and STEAMBOAT, and STEAMBOAT was just fucking incredible. He looked like he’d never retired with a back injury in 94, because he damn near out-performed everyone that night. Hell, if a certain Undertaker/HBK match never happened, I guarantee WM 25 would be remembered for STEAMBOAT above all else.

On Raw the next night, there was a huge 10 man tag or something and once again STEAMBOAT looked incredible. Jericho hated that an old timer was “stealing the spotlight” and challenged Steamboat to a singles match here tonight!

STEAMBOAT SHOWING UP JERICHO~! Seriously, HOW did Steamboat still look so good in the ring. I mean, just looking at Steamboat the man, he’s an OAP. But once he starts moving around and hitting moves, he looks younger than me.

ARM. FUCKING. DRAGS.

Nice to see Steamboat bend back the fingers and shit while applying an arm lock to Jericho. We just don’t see that kind of thing with the kids these days. LEARN TO WORK A HOLD YOU FUCKS.

The match slows down a bit as Jericho applies some rest holds (COME ON JERICHO, STEAMBOAT JUST SHOWED YOU FIRST HAND HOW TO WORK A FUCKING HOLD, STOP JUST SITTING THERE YOU CUNT). Luckily STEAMBOAT is so awesome he can prevent any of this from becoming boring .

BACK SUPERPLEX BY STEAMBOAT~!

Jericho remains in control for the most of this match, but STEAMBOAT is always fighting back and countering Jericho, including avoiding a Lionsault by setting Jericho up in an Electric Chair, and even reversing the Walls of Jericho into a FIGURE FOUR, a move that Steamboat has probably had applied to him more than any man in history!

HOLY FUCK I already know who wins this match but for a second there I actually thought Steamboat had it with a crossbody from the top rope!!! Jericho BARELY fucking kicked out!!!

That crossbody did so well that Steamboat goes for it again, only to land right into a CODEBREAKER!!! 1..2.. FOOT ON THE ROPES~! Steamboat still knows what he’s doing inside that ring!

CALLBACK TO WM 3 with the roll up .

Wall of Jericho in the middle of the ring, and even Steamboat has to tap out.

Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat? Nah, more like Ricky “The Dragon” SteamGOAT!!!

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

Oh joy Santino in a backstage segment. With Beth and… and… someone. Santino is trying to pretend he didn’t dress up as Santina at WM to win the Miss WM battle royal. Still have no idea who the other women was in this segment .

 

Kane Vs CM Punk

Kane is pissed that Punk is Mr MITB for the second year in a row, and winning it by kicking Kane off the ladder!

On paper this might not really look like a good match, but my memory (as terrible as it can be) is telling me this is fun.

KICK, PUNCH, IT’S ALL IN THE MIND~! Punk keeps trying to hit and move… then gets trapped in a corner with the BIG RED MACHINE MONSTER and starts getting pummelled, until Punk can use the turnbuckle to his advantage and lock Kane in an Arm Lock using the ropes!!!

Cool to see Punk go back to the arm a couple of times to avoid some of Kane’s major offence, including a potential CHOKELAM ON THE FLOOR!

Kane throws Punk so Punk could do that spot where he slides on the mat and smashes back first into the ring post under the bottom rope. Except he didn’t slide very far and it ended up looking like shit . Kane makes up for it though with a running dropkick to really smash him into the post!!!

MOTHER OF GOD PUNK JUST DIED. Kane hit a fucking clothesline that puts some of JBL’s clothesline from hell’s to shame!!!

Well look at this, Kane with some pretty sweet BACK WORK .

Punk again countering a chokeslam thanks to that bad arm that Kane is still selling, and doing a good job of it!!!

The injured arm creates an opening for Punk to make a comeback here, but the back work by Kane in this match prevents him from hitting the GTS .

KANE’S UPPERCUT . He catches Punk coming off the ropes with it and damn, Punk just died AGAIN!

PUNK HAS RISEN FROM THE DEAD AND APPLIES ANOTHER ARM BAR~!

KICKS TO THE FUCKING HEAD~! Punk showcasing his STRIKING SKILLS, but the MONSTER KANE just fucking shrugs them off and Chokeslam’s Punk for the win using BOTH arms because just one wasn’t enough thanks to all the arm work!!!

I think a lot of people would probably be surprised with this match because of how legitimately FUCKING GOOD it is. Both men look great, both target a body part well and both sell those body parts well, and use them multiple times to change he outcome of certain situations!

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

Matt Hardy Vs Jeff Hardy – I Quit Match

Remember when CHRISTIAN was “supposed” to be the guy causing shit for Jeff? But fans caught on to it and Vince “apparently” changed his mind and we got Matt instead? Fun times . Not really but ok .

Anyway, their WM 25 match is pretty fucking sweet and often overlooked (like the entire event outside of STEAMGOAT and TAKER/HBK). This match? Well… ummm… if I was smart I’d probably avoid this but dammit I kinda wanna see if it’s still as “bad” as my memory is telling me it is.

I do know, however, that everyone NEEDS to watch their stretcher match on SD that takes place sometime after this because it rocks and is probably the best stretcher match not involving BROCK LESNAR and BIG SHOW.

Also, didn’t Matt just kinda randomly stop being heel once this feud finished? Was there ever any kind of explanation? In fact, it doesn’t matter because BABYFACE MATT fucking rocks and while he was starting to put on a bit of weight around this time that was effecting his ring work, he would still have a TON of great performances and matches later in the year.

Gotta love Jeff’s attempts at REVENGE on his brother. DIVE OVER THE ROPES LIKE ALWAYS~!

I jest though. Sort of . He’s going all out to really take it to Matt here with a bunch of pretty great looking risky moves. Love the spot where he jumps off the ring steps and smashes into Matt, crushing Matt between him and the barricade.

Don’t think Matt has gotten ANYTHING in on Jeff so far in this match.

Jeff keeps going to the ropes for high risk moves against his brother, and it’s this that costs him control of the match. Matt launches him off the top rope right to the floor, and I think Jeff kinda mis-judged his jump here and instead of a cool bump into the barricade, he falls just short and lands kinda hard.

And now it’s time for MATT to begin punishing his brother. “THIS IS FOR GETTING MORE OVER THAN ME AND GETTING A BIGGER PUSH THAN ME DESPITE NOT BEING AS TALENTED DAMMIT!!!”

FIGURE FOUR~! But Jeff is refusing to quit!!!

They do some more stuff, then Jeff applies a leg hold to Matt who is tapping out like crazy, but still refuses to say the words I QUIT.

TWIST OF FATE~!

SWANTON BOMB~!

But Matt is still refusing to quit.

SWANTON BOMB~!

TABLE~!

TWIST OF FATE ON THE FLOOR~!

Back in the ring now and Jeff finally gets Matt on the table, and DUCK TAPES HIS LEGS AND ARMS TOGETHER SO HE CAN’T ESCAPE . Wait.. Jeff is the babyface in this match right?

NOW HE IS LITERALLY TYING HIM TO THE TABLE WITH ROPE . Man, what a good guy Jeff is .

Matt still doesn’t quit… so Jeff brings in a fucking LADDER!!! I think we all know where this is going!

Jeff is on top of the ladder, and Matt begins to tell Jeff he’s sorry and that he loves him and that he quits. ALL IS FORGIVEN!!!

No wait Jeff still jumps off the ladder onto his brother. What an absolute CUNT!

So this match… well… it’s disappointing because it HAS parts of it that are really good. And yeah, while the end kinda made Jeff seem like the bad guy I still enjoyed it. But there are parts in the middle of this match that would put you to sleep regardless of how much caffeine you’ve consumed.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 

Orton cuts a boring promo. He tries to turn Batista against HHH. But he’s just turning people against insomnia.

 

OH GOD CUT BACK TO ORTON. MORE ORTON PROMO PLEASE. ANYTHING BUT THIS. ANYTHING. BUT. THIS.

 

It’s the Kiss Cam. With Khali. And Santino the crossdresser. Who is apparently in love with JR. Who calls “her” his “little slobber knocker” . Ok, that was funny. Oh god this is dragging on FOREVER. And now Beth and… that other women (WHO IS SHE?!?!) are out here. Yey this is going on even longer.

 

And now Khali is hitting a women. Ya know, this PPV was doing so well up until this point. I kinda wanna just take away all the points and give it a MINUS 5 STARS total, all because of THIS segment. OH GOD IT’S NOT OVER YET. Khali rips off half of Santino/a’s clothes.

 

Was there… was there a point this this segment? Like, anything? At all? SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THIS HAPPENED?!?!?!?!!?!?!

 

Triple H, Batista & Shane McMahon Vs Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase – WWE Championship Match

The title is on the line in a 6 man tag!!!

Poor Triple H, what is it with BIG DADDY VINCE putting him in these 6 man matches with his title on the line? Happened at King of the Ring 2000 (with Shane also on his team lol), and again in 2009?

They (commentators) keep bringing up that is Shane for example gets too hot headed and ends up being DQ’d, HHH would lose the title still. But… who would WIN the title? The guy that Shane is murdering so badly he gets DQ’d? Or does VACANT get another reign?

Lawler thinks this is the first time a 6 man match has had the title on the line . Then again, I guess 9 years IS a long time ago. Not like when Cole claims Cena is going to the top rope for the first time despite the fact he did it a week ago .

HHH attacks Orton before the bell even rings so he can do as much damage as possible without potentially getting DQ’d. Meanwhile Cody and Teddy are shitting themselves in the ring, too scared to help their mentor .

Orton disappears and HHH gets back to the ring, so the ref just says FUCK IT and rings the bell despite it being 3 on 2 .

Cody is on his knees in the ring and HHH gives him the SUCK IT crotch chop… and Cody’s first reaction is to OPEN HIS MOUTH .

Awesome to see Shane doing some old school tag team finishers with Batista and HHH. Fairly certain the first one they do is the old DEMOLITION finisher, and after that it’s the HART ATTACK .

Legacy without Orton are just getting their bums destroyed. ANAL DESTRUCTION.

JR calls Rhodes and DiBiase two of the building blocks for the future of WWE. Oh how wrong he would be. Teddy is… ummm… no idea what he’s doing these days. And Cody. Cody is following his brother’s footsteps with the STARDUST gimmick… but getting about as over a midget in a pole vaulting competition.

ORTON RETURNS~! He shows up and attacks Batista from behind, slams him into the ring post and quickly tags himself in so he can try and finish off THE ANIMAL and win the Double Double E Number title!

Speaking of double, just had a Double Decker. Mmmmmm yum.

ORTON DDT~!

Gotta love how despite the fact HIS TITLE IS ON THE LINE and he looked worried as fuck… HHH didn’t even attempt to break up the count .

Legacy are doing a pretty great job at isolating Batista. They don’t let up one bit, almost SMOTHERING him. He doesn’t get a moment to himself without one of them grabbing a hold or preventing him from making a tag. Good basic tag shit right here!!!

Damn, Batista just fucking CRASHES into Orton in a desperate attempt to take him down and give him enough time to make a hot tag, and he does! Shane O’Mac is on fire and takes the fight to everyone, even trying to set up the announce table for an elbow before being stopped. He still hits a big elbow from the ropes to Cody in the ring and it looked better than every HBK elbow drop ever.

HOLY SHIT SHANE IS DEAD. One of the best bumps I’ve seen into the ring steps by someone not named FOLEY or UNDERTAKER .

Batista has his turn as FIP, and now Shane gets to take a beating for his team!

Match gets a tad dull from this point unfortunately. Too many rest holds. We do get some teased hot tags and great cut offs though, so that’s definitely something .

HOT TAG TO HHH~!

Well, what’s this? HHH is throwing some GOOD PUNCHES? Nah, can’t be. *rewinds* Wait, no. IT’S TRUE. HHH was throwing some GOOD PUNCHES .

The match spills to the outside and everyone gets involved and it’s an ALL OUT BRAWL~!

SHANE TAKEN OUT WITH A CHAIR~!

BATISTA TAKES A SHOT TOO, but manages to get the chair away from Cody. He’s about to deck Cody right in front of the referee, but HHH grabs the chair from him to avoid a DQ and him losing the title.

RKO OUTTA NOWHERE~!

KICKOUT~!

PUNT~!

NEW CHAMPION~!

So this fucking rocked. Bit with Shane as FIP was a little dull but thankfully didn’t last that long, especially compared to the Batista FIP. Finish had everyone going apeshit without it becoming a clusterfuck.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

John Cena Vs Edge – World Heavyweight Championship Last Man Standing Match

So we’ve had a great PPV up to this point. Now I have to sit through this garbage. Cena Vs Edge is usually terrible. Add a stipulation? SHOOT ME NOW. Neither guy knows how to work a gimmick match without it being a glorified SPOT FEST, unless their opponent is competent.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 17

 

No Way Out 2009

 

Ok, let’s start off 2009 with a PPV I remember really enjoying at the time! Also, I’m gonna watch all these shows IN ORDER for the first time ever while writing these rambles! Why? Because fuck it, why not .

 

The Undertaker Vs Triple H Vs The Big Show Vs Vladimir Kozlov Vs Jeff Hardy Vs Edge – WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match

Undertaker successfully makes his entrance without being set on fire. He would not be so lucky a year later .

Edge, the champion, is starting this match out with Jeff Hardy who beat him for the belt in December before dropping it right back to him in January at the RR.

So Edge and Jeff go back and forth for a couple of minutes, then Edge attempts a Spear, and Jeff counters it into a rollup and…

HOLY SHIT JEFF JUST ELIMINATED THE WWE CHAMPION FROM THE MATCH BEFORE THE FIRST 5 MINUTES WERE UP!!! WE ARE GUARANTEED A NEW CHAMPION!!! EDGE IS NO LONGER THE WWE CHAMPION!!!

While I didn’t watch this show live in 09, I did see it spoiler free the next morning and I was lol. Was a very cool and very unexpected moment, and of course meant that EDGE WAS NO LONGER THE CHAMPION .

Unfortunately all the excitement of Edge being eliminated is killed dead when Kozlov is the next guy in.

Huh, I seem to have blacked out for 5 minutes. Big Show has just entered the match .

So for the next five minutes, we have Show and Kozlov take turns at trying to out-do each other… mostly with boring slams, headbutts and clubbing blows, aka the basic strong guy offence from the 70’s.

Hardy’s offence on comebacks here . He just kinda runs with his arms in the air and… runs into his opponents in hopes that it’ll do something .

Time for Kozlov and Show to go after each other now instead of eliminating Hardy because that’s too smart for them.

Just as the crowd are about to fall asleep, THE GAME TRIPLE H enters into the match and takes everyone out!!!

Poor Undertaker is having to watch all this while inside a pod still. He’s getting frustrated and starts smacking the pod. SHIT GONNA GET SERIOUS WHEN HE GETS RELEASED . Fans are chanting for him too because fuck what’s happening in the ring atm lol.

UNDERTAKER TIME . He fucking runs out and starts punching the absolute shit out of Big Show .

In the ring he does the same to Kozlov, and Kozlov simply CANNOT take Snake Eyes. At all. Ever .

Awesome spot with Undertaker walking the ropes for Old School on HHH, but decides to dive on Big Show on the outside instead!!! He gets caught though, and counters Show with a DDT ON THE STEEL . Then he goes back in the ring and hits Old School on HHH like nothing happened .

LAST RIDE TO KOZLOV~!

Bye bye Kozlov, please never come back!

CHOKESLAM~! I guess it’s time for The Big Show to be dominant . He launches HHH over the ropes onto the steel, then throws Jeff onto him! HHH was supposed to catch Hardy for safety, but it looked more like HHH just slammed him even harder onto the steel floor lol.

Spider Jeff, Spider Jeff, does whatever a Spider Jeff does. Can he wrestle, better than Matt? No he can’t, cos he’s kinda shit. Look out, it’s a Spider Jeff.

SUPERPLEX TO BIG SHOW~!

PEDIGREE TO BIG SHOW~!

SWANTON FROM THE TOP OF A POD TO BIG SHOW~!

HHH PINS THE BIG SHOW~!

BIG SHOW IS ELIMINATED~!

TOMBSTONE TO JEFF~!

JEFF HARDY IS ELIMINATED~!

We are now down to the final 2; Triple H and THE UNDERTAKER .

The final 2 men here were both winners of individual elimination chamber matches the previous year at this event! Just some random TRIVIA for ya .

This entire part of the match just sees both HHH and Undertaker exchanging signature and finisher moves in a desperate attempt to win the WWE Championship and GO TO WM AT THE CHAMPION, so while I would normally dislike them doing that, here it makes sense for them to just bust out all their best shit.

they repeat the spot from the 08 SD chamber with Undertaker/Batista and that awesome Tombstone spot . Only difference here is that HHH gets his foot on the ropes to break up the 3 count .

PEDIGREE~!

KICKOUT~!

PUNCH EXCHANGE~! Kinda . for Undertaker’s punches… not so much for HHH’s .

LAST RIDE COUNTERED INTO A PEDIGREE~!

13 TIMES THE GAME~! HHH is now a 13 time champion. Yey?

Great way to finish this match, which was kinda dull for the most part.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Edge is making excuses for losing. Vickie flat out tells him it’s his own fault that he lost . So now Edge has to come up with a plan to still headline WM with the title. Or maybe… maybe another title?

 

FISH MARKET~! Glad they showed us that…

 

Randy Orton Vs Shane McMahon – No Holds Barred Match

Orton PUNTED Vince in the head, and then somehow prevents getting punished in any way by claiming to be mental. So, Shane has to get revenge himself in a match. WRESTLING LOGIC~!

Hope we see some more SHADOW BOXING from Shane in this match .

Also… like, why didn’t the McMahon’s just order EVERYONE ELSE ON THE ROSTER TO MURDER RANDY? It’s what I would do lol .

Really like how this match is being worked. Shane is fucking FURIOUS at Orton and goes at him head on, perhaps surprising Orton and allowing the non-wrestler to gain control. However Shane is more focused on HURTING Orton, and spending time looking for weapons gives Orton the time to recover and take control of shit.

MONITOR TO THE HEAD OF ORTON~! Holy fuck that was a pretty sick shot. In the world of PG NO BLOOD, Orton is bleeding, and one half of his face is covered in blood!!!

And of course that let’s Orton show off his awesome “possibly concussed” selling .

With Orton out of it, Rhodes and DiBiase run down to help out, but even they end up feeling the MCMAHON WRATH~!

COAST TO COAST WITH A TRASH CAN TO CODY~!

Orton is still DEAD and on an announce table, so Shane goes back to the top rope for a huge elbow drop and…

ORTON MOVES~! SHANE THROUGH A TABLE~! SHANE IS DEAD~!

Wow, Orton showing CONCERN for Cody, screaming at Ted to take him to the back and make sure he’s ok.

Love the image of just one side of Orton’s face being covered in blood. People at the time were talking about how it reflected his character at the time. One moment he’s regular Randy, then the next he’s lost his mind and PUNTING people due to a mental illness.

Shane is fucked from the table spot, but he REFUSES to be pinned, so Orton sets up the table that Shane originally brought out from under the ring. If Shane ain’t gonna stay down, Orton is gonna MAKE HIM!

SUPERPLEX THROUGH THE TABLE~!

SHANE STILL KICKS OUT~!

PUNT COUNTERED INTO A SPEAR~! Looked pretty fantastic too. Not some show-y Spear by a professional, but a fucking hard hitting tackle by a non wrestler trying to make it look as good as possible.

Shane starts beating the shit out of Orton’s ankles with a chair, and Orton begs him off… only to get cracked in the back with the chair .

Shane setting up Orton for a PUNT of his own! The ultimate payback… RKO~!

This one is done. And it was pretty sweeeeeeet. Shane O’Mac having a better match with Orton than most of the roster for the last few years .

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

Jack Swagger Vs Finlay – ECW Championship Match

I was a huge Swagger fan around this time. Finlay is fucking FINLAY. They had a great match or two on ECW TV around this time… but for some reason I’m the only person on the planet who doesn’t think this match is that good.

FINLAY OUT-WRESTLING SWAGGER~!

Finlay works the leg of Swagger for the opening moments of the match, then Swagger gains control and works on Finaly’s arm and honestly it’s all kinda dull.

Both men fumble around for a bit longer, then Hornswoggle keeps showing up and distracting Finlay because he’s a complete fucking moron.

Swagger wins.

Yeah still don’t like this. Do not understand any love this match gets.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Shawn Michaels Vs JBL

If JBL wins, HBK works for JBL for the rest of his life! If HBK wins, he’s free of JBL and gets all the money JBL promised him.

JBL is in the mind of the Heart Break Kid from the moment this match begins. He tells Shawn that all it takes is ONE mistake and he’s his forever. HBK finally unleashes weeks of frustration from not being able to touch JBL, just wailing on JBL, who is STILL smiling because he knows an ANGRY HBK is more likely to make a mistake. In fact, JBL grabs a chair and hands it to Shawn, knowing full well that if Shawn uses it, he’s gonna get DQ’d and he’ll be owned by JBL for the rest of his life!!!

PUNCHES TO THE FACE~! Still just fucking love when JBL starts throwing those massive punches to his opponent in the corner.

BEARHUG~!

JBL is trying to weaken HBK’s back here, and even tries to set him up for a massive Superplex, only for Shawn to fight out of it and fly through the air with an elbow drop and… crash and burn .

CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL~!

HBK is now the property of JBL for the rest of his life!!!

NO!!! HBK KICKS OUT!!!

ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL~! This time HBK collapses to the outside, and JBL might win the rights to HBK via countout!!!

HBK MAKES IT BACK IN~!

JBL is starting to get frustrated at HBK, so he throws Shawn back outside right in front of his wife and starts to taunt her, only to get CRACKED IN THE FACE by Rebecca!!! Shouldn’t that be a DQ?

It seems that seeing his wife deck JBL has given HBK new life, and now JBL is the one reeling!!!

SWEET. CHIN. MUSIC.

Shawn Michaels is free of JBL, and is now financially stable once again!!!

I loved this whole angle between JBL and Shawn, and this match was a pretty darn good pay off too. Plus, HBK comes out the next night all happy and joyful and CHALLENGES THE UNDERTAKER TO A MATCH AT WM, giving us the classic WM 25 match!!!

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

Very slow boring Jericho promo backstage on why he’s going to win tonight.

 

John Cena Vs Chris Jericho Vs Rey Mysterio Vs Mike Knox Vs Kane Vs Edge – World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match

Kofi Kingston was supposed to be in this match, but on his way to the ring, EDGE attacks him from behind and steals his spot in the match because WRESTLING LOGIC~!

Totally forgot MIKE KNOX was in this match :match:.

We start things off with Jericho Vs Rey, who would go on to feud throughout the rest of the year. Huh, last year this chamber match started off with HBK Vs Jericho who also feuded throughout the year. COINCIDENCE? I THINK SO!

Jericho lobs Rey into Kane’s pod, and Kane just stands looking at Rey like he’s having the time of his life .

KANE ENTERS NEXT~! Well, time for Rey to die .

at Edge cowering from Kane despite being separated by BULLET PROOF PLASTIC.

Why have I only noticed that Kane does a Homer Simpson impression every time he lands a big punch or kick? D’OH! D’OH! D’OH!

BAH GAWD KANE IS DOMINATI… Oh wait 619 + Code Breaker + Seated Senton from THE TOP OF A POD and Kane is eliminated from the match FIRST .

KNOX . Why is it that WWE actually get big guys who CAN WORK… they do fuck all with them and release them shortly after, meanwhile big guys who can BARELY WALK stick around for years, main event PPV’s and win world titles?

KNOX has Rey upside down and tied up in the chain wall, smashing his head in .

BAH GAWD KNOX IS DOMINATI… Oh wait Code Breaker and Mike Knox is eliminated from the match .

KOFI EDGESTON is the next man inside the chamber! Rey is friends with Kofi so he is fucking PISSED that Edge would do such a thing. Remember when Edge and Rey were tag champs? Well now Rey is at the mercy of Edge and Jericho, who later in the year would also become tag champs together!

This just about sums things up atm:

now Edge and Jericho are spit roasting Rey on the ropes .

Cena time. Yawn.

BAH GAWD CENA IS DOMINATI… Oh wait Code Breaker + 619 + Spear and Cena is eliminated from the match .

So like the previous EC match, we are now guaranteed to get a NEW champion!

Jericho is gone next, leaving us with Rey Vs Edge.

And for the rest of the match, we get one of the most spectacular finishing stretches in any WWE match ever. Even puts HHH/Taker to shame earlier in the night. Rey takes some incredible bumps during this time too, especially that one into the side of the pod .

In the end, it’s EDGE that picks up the win, making him the first/only (?) man to walk into a PPV as WWE champ, lose it, then leave the same PPV as the NEW WHC!

Match has some dull moments, but nowhere near what the SD chamber had. This is overall much better, and a ton of fun!!!

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 11

 

Judgment Day 2008

 

The final 2008 PPV, then I only have… ONE YEAR TO WATCH~!

 

Huh, JBL and Cena are having a match on this event? Following Show chokeslamming Cena through a giant light? Wait… wrong JD event .

 

JBL Vs John Cena

Actually kinda looking forward to this. These two have had some… crap matches, and some good matches. If JBL spends most of the match punching the fuck out of Cena I should enjoy this one .

Tie=ups and headlocks. What the fuck, Jibble? PUNCH HIM IN THE FUCKING FACE ALREADY.

Arm work? What the fuck, Jibble? PUNCH HIM IN THE MOTHERFUCKING FACE ALREADY.

BACKLUND SPOT~! And for those who don’t know what that is… first, SHAME ON YOU. Secondly, it’s when someone is in an arm lock and then just power their opponent up off the mat and stand up while holding them with one arm and it’s impressive as fuck every damn time. A little difference here though as Cena seemingly can barely lift up Mr Jibbles.

FUCK YES. JBL IS PUNCHING CENA IN THE FACE!!!

ONE ARM CENA COMEBACK~!

at JBL moving out of the way of that top rope leg drop. He basically did a fucking back bump .

And we’re back to arm work… and then a bearhug. That’ll fuck the arm up even more, honest .

So now JBL is working the mid-section of Cena… Maybe I missed something?

Ha, nicely timed replay from WWE there to show me a spot with JBL dropping Cena stomach first onto the ropes! Now things make the sense .

But just because it makes sense doesn’t mean it’s good. PUNCH. HIM. IN. HIS. MOTHERFUCKING. CUNTY. FACE. PLEASE.

Cena is pretty much dead right now, but JBL keeps punishing him more and more rather than getting a potential win already. WHAT ARE THE ODDS THIS WILL COME BACK TO HAUNT HIM?!?!

RIGHT AS I WROTE THAT, CENA HIT AN F-U OUT OF NOWHERE AND WON .

I mean, this isn’t awful, just the complete opposite of what I was expecting. I wanted a FIGHT, not Mr Jibbles applying arm locks and bear hugs for 90% of the match.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

GM KING REGAL just randomly sat in the crowd watching. Best part of the PPV so far .

 

John Morrison & The Miz Vs Kane & CM Punk – WWE Tag Team Championship Match

How very random. Kane & Punk teaming up? For the tag titles? Ok.

Oh yeah, Kane is still the ECW Champ too, so no title defence on PPV for that belt.

Honestly I’m just gonna skip this. AIN’T NOBODY (ME) GOT TIME FOR THAT (THIS)!

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Shawn Michaels Vs Chris Jericho

HBK faked a leg injury so he could beat Batista. HBK LIED TO EVERYONE AND FAKED AN INJURY but nobody seems to care and that eats away at Jericho. On the surface this whole feud starts off well… but once they start having matches and Jericho starts pretending to be a super slow version of Nick Bockwinkle, it all goes downhill .

That being said, I always thought this was the best match of their 08 series. Already watched the others and didn’t exactly care for them outside of the ladder match which still had a bunch of problems lol. Wouldn’t surprise me if I still liked this the most, but it likely isn’t going to mean much if it’s the best match of a pretty shitty series.

NATIVE AMERICAN DEATHLOCK~! Wait… what? They can’t call it an Indian Deathlock anymore?

Jericho keeps trying to go after the leg of HBK, which of course he faked the injury on, so Jericho wants to actually injure it. Meanwhile HBK is being a dick and keeps trying to get Jericho to get angry and make mistakes .

RIB WORK~!

Well I’m bored.

SUPERKICK ON THE APRON~!

Jericho is deaded.

Shawn drags his lifeless body into the ring and sets up for another kick, but Jericho keeps falling over, then out of nowhere jumps up and hits the CODEBREAKER~!

CROSSFACE~!

Jericho “blocked” HBK getting his knees up on a Lionsault by simple… landing ribs first on his knees and pretending he block it .

Sloppy rollup type move and HBK wins.

Well this was… boring as fuck. It’s like they watched the Mr Jibbles/Cena match and thought they could out-bore the crowd.

I used to have this at around ****1/4 .

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

GM KING REGAL still just randomly sat in the crowd watching.

 

Mickie James interview. She thinks she’s gonna win cos Cena and HBK won their matches. Makes… sense? Mr Jibbles shows up and tells Mickie to fuck off so he can bitch and moan about Cena. He cuts a good promo, actually. I think Todd shat himself.

 

Mickie James Vs Beth Phoenix Vs Melina – WWE Women’s Championship Match

Holy FUCK at the backstage fight between Beth and Melina on Raw the previous week . Beth fucking MURDERS Melina.

Yes, I’m going to watch this match!!! I like all 3 women involved and not just in a FAP FAP FAP way. I especially wanna see the match now knowing that Melina is gonna want some fucking revenge for nearly dying last week lol.

Beth holds the ropes open and demands Melina fucks off cos she doesn’t belong. Melina kicks the fuck out of her and sends Beth out of the ring!!!

Beth doesn’t take long to recover, and takes Mickie out on the outside so she can get some one on one time with Melina to finish the job she started on Raw .

Mickie seems to keep coming out of nowhere and hitting some crazy cool offence on Melina and Beth, sometimes even with a move that takes them both out lol! Really fun stuff so far .

DROPKICK TO THE FACE~! Damn, Mickie just flattened Beth!!!

DOUBLE BACKBREAKER BY BETH~! SHE HAS BOTH OPPONENTS ON HER SHOULDER IN A SUBMISSION HOLD~!

Beth is looking dominant as fuck, but as she focuses on Mickie, Melina takes her out with a neckbreaker, allowing Mickie to hit Melina with the DDT and get the win!

Well this was short and sweet!!!

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

HBShizzle and Batista backstage. Big Dave says that he told HBK if he was lying, he was gonna destroy him. And he’ll do it soon. AKA Stretcher match at ONS.

 

The Undertaker Vs Edge – World Heavyweight Championship Match

Vacant title on the line here as Vickie stripped the Dead Man of the title after he nearly killed Edge with THAT SUBMISSION MOVE~! The move is also banned now.

DID YOU KNOW?!?! The WWE/World Title has been vacated in the past due to injuries and OTHER REASONS!!!

“IF THERE IS ONE MAN WHO CAN GET INSIDE UNDERTAKER’S HEAD IT’S THAT MAN, EDGE”. Ummm… no, Mick. No.

Knock knock!

Whose there?

PUNCHES TO THE FUCKING FACE~!

Punches to the fucking face whOUCH *collapses*

.

Edge counters OLD SCHOOL and poor Undertaker lands balls first on the ropes and then BOUNCES AROUND before finally hitting the mat .

It’s all downhill from there for the Dead Man, who ends up being send into the ring steps knee first and it looks fucking BRUTAL, then he crashes and burns trying to hit a running boot to Edge in the corner and again takes a big bump knee first into something.

Edge is in firm control by working over the leg of ‘Taker, so much so that when he goes for a cover at one point, a desperate Undertaker even attempts to lock in Hells Gate, but remembers it’s banned and must try something else.

The cocky Edge decides to try his hand at OLD SCHOOL, but ends up also getting countered and falling balls first into the ropes!!!

Throughout this series of matches, one thing that has been consistent is Edge’s ability to counter Undertaker’s signature moves. So, what does Undertaker do? CHANGE THINGS!!! Chokeslam? Nah, CHOKESLAM INTO THE TURNBUCKLE! And then what? Well, might as well follow it up with a running boot, like he would if he’s just hit Snake Eyes!

The Edge Heads show up though to distract Undertaker momentarily, but it isn’t long until the Dead Man is back with another modified signature move to confuse Edge, this time with a TURNBUCKLE LAST RIDE~!

SNAKE EYES ONTO AN EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE~!

SPEAR OUTTA NOWHERE~!

KICK OUT~!

The match has taken it’s toll on both men, and it’s at this point where Undertaker can seemingly go back to his typical offence rather than needing to change it, because Edge is too fucking knackered to counter lol.

CLOTHESLINE OVER THE BARRICADE~!

The referee begins his count as both men battle their way to the ring, but Undertaker at the last moment smashes Edge into the barricade again and makes the count, and THE UNDERTAKER IS THE WINNER AND… not WHC because the title cannot change hands on a countout . BITCH.

Really good match, but without a doubt a step or two behind their epic WM and BL bouts. Still better than the TLC that needs to burn in a fire and die, and probably on par with their HIAC match, if not a little better.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

MVP shows up for an in ring promo. He’s complaining that he isn’t on the card. Well, I guess SOMEONE has to. He makes an open challenge. Matt Hardy comes out to introduce Jeff.

 

Jeff Hardy Vs MVP

No.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Triple H Vs Randy Orton – WWE Championship Steel Cage Match

30 minutes left on the show . These two are about to have a 30 minute steel cage match.

The bell rings and Orton dives for the door. Never have I wanted a match to end that quickly in my life. Unfortunately HHH ruins it like he ruins everything else. Fucker.

5 minutes in and I think we’ve had about 20 bumps into the side of the cage so far. This is followed up by about 20 more in the span of 2 minutes. Well, if they’re gonna go 30 minutes, they have to fill time with SOMETHING, right? Because we all know they can’t do it with an interesting wrestling match .

GM KING REGAL . He’s still watching and never changing his expression. And about to go into a feud with HHH that doesn’t go all the way because Regal fucks up .

Figure Four Leg Lock spot, with both JR and Lawler constantly saying how Orton will need to find another way out of this hold because even if he reaches the ropes HHH won’t have to let go. The Orton reaches the ropes and the referee does a 5 count and forces HHH to let go .

Orton has a chair now.

10 minutes left and I swear all they’ve done is throw each other into the side of the cage, do the figure four spot, then a couple of spots with a chair.

And now the final 10 minutes are them both battling on the top rope over and over again in the exact same place. Exciting.

Some more chair spots. More exciting.

Pedigree and this is mercifully OVER.

I’m not trying to be funny here. I’m not bitching and complaining and going overboard to try and be entertaining. I literally cannot think of a single good thing that happened in this match. At all.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 2.5

 

Backlash 2008

 

BEWARE THE BACKLASH~!

 

Matt Hardy Vs MVP – WWE United States Championship Match

Please Matt, give me a good MVP match here. PLEASE.

GREAT THROW BY MVP – Michael Cole.

Huh. Seems that was the highlight of the match .

Oh Hardy wins the title btw. Honestly don’t remember him being US champion lol.

Nothing downright awful here… just… nothing remotely worth talking about.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

EVE~!

 

Kane Vs Chavo Guerrero – ECW Championship Match

If I ever invent a time machine, I’m gonna go back to 08 and convince WWE to make this match shorter than their WM match.

Obviously wouldn’t be the first thing I’d do, but it’s on the list. OH IT’S ON THE LIST DAMMIT.

Mike Adamle is contagious. He’s fumbling over his words all the time, and now so is Tazz.

Chavo goes after Kane’s leg. Kane keeps forgetting to sell it. Then he remembers. Then forgets again.

BAM NEELY. NEELEY. NEILY. NEILEY. NEALY. NEALEY. ONE OF THOSE IS RIGHT. Why do WWE love to have a big guy dress in a suit and never speak?

CHOKESLAM. Kane wins.

So this match happened. Kane was kinda terrible. Most he sold the leg was when he walked up the ramp after the match .

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Orton getting interviewed about the 4 way later tonight. No EVE though . I miss evil executive EVE.

 

The Big Show Vs The Great Khali

I’m… oddly looking forward to this. I seem to recall liking this in the past.

BIG SHOW AND KHALI PUNCHING EACH OTHER IN THE FACE~!

HEADBUTT EXCHANGE~!

FLAIR CHOPS~!

Khali clotheslines Big Show to the mat!!!

Holy crap, Khali with the CROSSFACE.

Big Show tries to slam Khali but can’t do it. Because… ummmm… he was tired from the Crossface? It’s like when Cena pretends he can’t pick someone up for a slam, but everyone on the planet knows he could do it with ease.

Now if only these two could start doing some mat work like that Kane/Show match from Raw in 06 .

BIG SHOW SLAMS KHALI~! So after taking MORE punishment than earlier… he can slam Khali now. Because… ummmm… all those rest holds worked?

Khali tries to Khali Bomb Show, but Show powers out and CHOKESLAMS the Punjabi Giant!!!

Aside from a couple of rest spots by Khali, this is a very surprisingly good GIANT battle. For all the hate Khali gets, even from me 99% of the time, the guy DOES have some good performances under his belt and honestly I think this is one of them.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 

John Cena randomly backstage with JIMMY WANG YANG~! Didn’t realise that guy was still with the company at this time. Oh look Orton shows up to bore us all. At least he isn’t trying to hit on Cena like last year at Backlash… .

 

Shawn Michaels Vs Batista

Wah wah wah HBK retired Flair and Batista is a giant cry baby wah wah wah.

Jericho is the special guest referee in this match because he… completely randomly inserted himself into this feud and I genuinely don’t think there was ever any reason WHY lol.

So how does everything feel about this match? Don’t remember when the last time I saw this was, I just remember really liking their Stretcher match a month later.

Early parts of this match so far have been really good. Batista throwing Shawn around with his POWER, so HBK has to rely on his quickness to avoid any hard shots and to try and take the ANIMAL down.

BACKLUND SPOT~! And for those who don’t know what that is… first, SHAME ON YOU. Secondly, it’s when someone is in an arm lock and then just power their opponent up off the mat and stand up while holding them with one arm and it’s impressive as fuck every damn time. A little difference here though as Shawn is able to manoeuvre Batista to the ropes and they both go tumbling down!!!

SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE RING POST~! HBK seizes an opportunity to further injure the arm he’s just started working on!

Well, that’s it. HBK is DEAD. I mean DEAD. Passed on. He is no more. He has ceased to be. This is an ex wrestler. And why, you ask? Because Batista just fucking MURDERED HIM with an incredible clothesline .

WAIT, NO! HBK HAS RISEN FROM THE DEAD~! Aaaand apparently Chris Benoit has taken over his body because he’s come back to use the Crossface .

Jericho has to DRAG HBK off Batista when he refuses to release the hold despite the fact Batista grabbed the bottom rope. Careful Chris, the other Chris might put YOU in the Crossface too…

NIP UP~! RIGHT INTO A SPEAR~!

Sweet Chin Music coming right up… SPINEBUSTER~! It seems that Batista has an answer for everything HBK can throw at him on this night!!!

Batista Bomb countered by HBK who lands wrong and seems to be hurt!!! He’s holding his knee and Jericho is doing his best to keep Batista away until… SWEET CHIN MUSIC OUT OF NOWHERE~!

HBK picks up the win, but is his leg really hurt? Is Batista done with HBK? Does Jericho have an ulterior motive for being part of this match? All this and more on the next WWE PPV!!!

Really enjoyed this match!!! Great stuff from both guys. HBK working the arm to try and take the strength away from Batista, and Batista seemingly having an answer for all of HBK’s offence, forcing HBK to fake the leg injury so he can superkick the Animal when he least expects it!!!

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Orton cutting a promo on HHH while standing right in front of him… but looking away cos he’s apparently a coward who can’t look into HHH’s face .

 

Beth Phoenix, Victoria, Melina, Jillian, Natalya & Layla Vs Mickie James, Maria, Michelle McCool, Ashley, Cherry & Kelly Kelly

Mickie wins the women’s title from Beth 2 weeks ago on Raw and… instead of a rematch here on PPV, it’s a multi-women clusterfuck tag. No thanks.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

The Undertaker Vs Edge – World Heavyweight Championship Match

Big fan of their WM match, even if it is kinda slow for the first half, but not slow in a bad way imo. I’m also probably one of the bigger fans of this and their JD match too.

Build up for this match was great too, just because it gave us 4 weeks of rather awesome Undertaker TV matches against Kane, Festus, and 2 Batista matches, all of which are definitely worth watching.

I’M GOING TO HURT YOU. Undertaker is seen mouthing that to Edge during the introductions. Now if only Edge had replied with “YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO” .

Foley and Cole keep bringing up shit about how Edge went into WM all cocky because he hasn’t lost to Undertaker before and he knew he could win, but now he’s lost to Taker at WM, how will it effect him mentally? They go back and forth with them mentioning that while yeah, he lost at WM, he still knows he can beat Taker cos he’s done it before. Only thing is, they don’t mention that Edge has only beat Undertaker ONCE… and that was after a brutal cage match with Batista, where Mark Henry destroyed him right after, and Edge cashed in MITB… so if Edge was as smart as the WWE would like to tell you he is… surly the loss at WM will have simply enforced the knowledge that Edge CAN’T beat Undertaker one on one, which is what this match is.

Oh boy did I really go on for longer than I should have on something that is kinda meaningless .

Just days earlier, on SD, Batista hit a SPINEBUSTER on Undertaker right on the steel steps, and Undertaker, despite controlling the early part of this match, shows signs of his back not being 100%. Little things like him selling it after hitting the apron leg drop makes me . And then like at WM, Edge is able to counter a signature Undertaker move, this time with the Edgeomatic, and that allows him to add some extra damage to the Dead Man’s back!

BACK WORK~! And some good back work at that. Dropkicks, submissions, and even those shoulder blocks in the corner, but with Undertaker turned around so the shoulder goes into the back and not the stomach!

The story of the WM match was Edge knowing Undertaker inside and out, and being able to counter move after move from The Undertaker, while here we have Undertaker being able to counter a number of Edge’s counters in order to keep himself in the match despite all the back work done by Edge. And it’s fucking tremendous to watch.

We also see Undertaker going the extra mile to try and take Edge out, including going for a top rope elbow drop, which Edge avoided and holy fuck Undertaker takes one hell of a fucking back bump that a guy his size and age (even in 2008 lol), should NOT be doing. Props to the Dead Man for that.

Spear countered into a DDT by ‘Taker . Another of those great counters from Undertaker!!!

The Edgeheads try to get involved here, with one of them decking Undertaker with the WHC, and another showing up only to be taken out straight away lol.

LAST RIDE~! NO, EDGE COUNTERS~! NO, UNDERTAKER COUNTERS EDGE’S COUNTER~! HELLS GATE~! HELLS GATE~! HELLS GATE~! EDGE TAPS OUT!!! EDGE TAPS OUT!!! THE UNDERTAKER IS STILL THE WHC!!!

The match is over, but The Undertaker is refusing to let go of the hold!!! Undertaker said he was going to hurt Edge, and well, he just fucking did!!!

Unfortunately Undertaker gets stripped of the title due to his misuse of THAT SUBMISSION HOLD, but hey, for now, Undertaker is still champ and this match is fucking tremendous.

Rating: ****1/4
CAL SCALE – 6

 

Orton backstage again, this time standing outside of JBL’s locker room looking creepy as fuck, like he’s about to barge in and rape him or something… then CM Punk shows up and wishes Orton good luck while flashing his MITB briefcase .

 

Randy Orton Vs Triple H Vs JBL Vs John Cena – WWE Championship Match

In Time song from The Punisher is the song for the video package here .

The music dies and so goes all my . Because this is like a half hour match and I seem to recall that HHH and Orton are the last 2 guys with a stupid amount of time in a one on one match that’s boring as shit, like most of their matches tend to be.

the bell rings, and Orton steals the belt from the referee, runs at JBL, and gets a boot to the face for his troubles . JBL rules.

JBL then starts caving in Cena’s face with his awesome punches in the corner .

Lots of fast, hard hitting action early on that would make you think this is gonna be a good match. But we all know it’s a lie. Just like cake.

Orton pulls up a chair and lets everyone else battle it out… until Cena fucking CHARGES at him .

Cena gets his moments later though as he’s knocked off the apron and fucking crashes into the announce table. How the fuck it didn’t break on impact is beyond me lol. Cena HAD to have hurt himself there.

Cena has Orton in the STFU, and JBL runs into the ring to… STAND AND MOCK ORTON . This is an elimination match, so it makes PERFECT SENSE . Then HHH appears from behind and locks JBL in a Crossface (which is getting overused tonight…)! Orton escapes the STFU and begins to mock JBL right back until Cena shoves him from behind into HHH and breaks up that submission lol. Fun little segment in this match .

TOWER OF DOOM~!

worst F-U ever to JBL .

STFU TO JBL~! And JBL taps out . JBL was the best thing in this match so far and he’s gone. And while Cena lets go of the submission… PUNT~! Cena has just been eliminated too!!!

And now we have TWENTY MINUTES LEFT with HHH and Orton .

Things get real boring real quick… so much so that I end up watching a “football fails” video on my facebook feed (was hilarious, a bunch of kids getting hit in the face with footballs ), and WWE are apparently also bored cos they keep showing the replay of Cena getting PUNTED .

Orton injures HHH’s mid-section and starts kneeing it and shit and then… HEADLOCK~!

RK…oh? Ummm… I *think* HHH countered it… but it actually looked like HHH went to his knees instead of falling down flat and it came across as more of a botch lol.

Seems Orton is even bored now, and decides to have a mini-match with the steel steps .

Fucking OUCH! HHH counters a Piledriver attempt by tripping Orton up, and Orton just cracks his back and head on the steel steps. Can you say Concussion? Well, Orton probably can’t because his brain just got scrambled .

worst ref bump ever .

RKO~!

PEDIGREE~!

NEW CHAMPION~!

Well, this wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be… but it SHOULD have been so much better. The first part of the match was awesome, and if it carried on like that, this would have been incredible. But JBL and Cena are eliminated together far too early into the match, and once that happened… HHH and Orton just fumbled around for most of their 20 minutes together, which ends up bringing down the entire match. They still gave us some good moments, but overall it is like most of their matches; dull.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 12