Judgment Day 2008
The final 2008 PPV, then I only have… ONE YEAR TO WATCH~!
Huh, JBL and Cena are having a match on this event? Following Show chokeslamming Cena through a giant light? Wait… wrong JD event .
JBL Vs John Cena
Actually kinda looking forward to this. These two have had some… crap matches, and some good matches. If JBL spends most of the match punching the fuck out of Cena I should enjoy this one .
Tie=ups and headlocks. What the fuck, Jibble? PUNCH HIM IN THE FUCKING FACE ALREADY.
Arm work? What the fuck, Jibble? PUNCH HIM IN THE MOTHERFUCKING FACE ALREADY.
BACKLUND SPOT~! And for those who don’t know what that is… first, SHAME ON YOU. Secondly, it’s when someone is in an arm lock and then just power their opponent up off the mat and stand up while holding them with one arm and it’s impressive as fuck every damn time. A little difference here though as Cena seemingly can barely lift up Mr Jibbles.
FUCK YES. JBL IS PUNCHING CENA IN THE FACE!!!
ONE ARM CENA COMEBACK~!
at JBL moving out of the way of that top rope leg drop. He basically did a fucking back bump .
And we’re back to arm work… and then a bearhug. That’ll fuck the arm up even more, honest .
So now JBL is working the mid-section of Cena… Maybe I missed something?
Ha, nicely timed replay from WWE there to show me a spot with JBL dropping Cena stomach first onto the ropes! Now things make the sense .
But just because it makes sense doesn’t mean it’s good. PUNCH. HIM. IN. HIS. MOTHERFUCKING. CUNTY. FACE. PLEASE.
Cena is pretty much dead right now, but JBL keeps punishing him more and more rather than getting a potential win already. WHAT ARE THE ODDS THIS WILL COME BACK TO HAUNT HIM?!?!
RIGHT AS I WROTE THAT, CENA HIT AN F-U OUT OF NOWHERE AND WON .
I mean, this isn’t awful, just the complete opposite of what I was expecting. I wanted a FIGHT, not Mr Jibbles applying arm locks and bear hugs for 90% of the match.
CAL SCALE – 0.5
GM KING REGAL just randomly sat in the crowd watching. Best part of the PPV so far .
John Morrison & The Miz Vs Kane & CM Punk – WWE Tag Team Championship Match
How very random. Kane & Punk teaming up? For the tag titles? Ok.
Oh yeah, Kane is still the ECW Champ too, so no title defence on PPV for that belt.
Honestly I’m just gonna skip this. AIN’T NOBODY (ME) GOT TIME FOR THAT (THIS)!
CAL SCALE – -1
Shawn Michaels Vs Chris Jericho
HBK faked a leg injury so he could beat Batista. HBK LIED TO EVERYONE AND FAKED AN INJURY but nobody seems to care and that eats away at Jericho. On the surface this whole feud starts off well… but once they start having matches and Jericho starts pretending to be a super slow version of Nick Bockwinkle, it all goes downhill .
That being said, I always thought this was the best match of their 08 series. Already watched the others and didn’t exactly care for them outside of the ladder match which still had a bunch of problems lol. Wouldn’t surprise me if I still liked this the most, but it likely isn’t going to mean much if it’s the best match of a pretty shitty series.
NATIVE AMERICAN DEATHLOCK~! Wait… what? They can’t call it an Indian Deathlock anymore?
Jericho keeps trying to go after the leg of HBK, which of course he faked the injury on, so Jericho wants to actually injure it. Meanwhile HBK is being a dick and keeps trying to get Jericho to get angry and make mistakes .
Well I’m bored.
SUPERKICK ON THE APRON~!
Jericho is deaded.
Shawn drags his lifeless body into the ring and sets up for another kick, but Jericho keeps falling over, then out of nowhere jumps up and hits the CODEBREAKER~!
Jericho “blocked” HBK getting his knees up on a Lionsault by simple… landing ribs first on his knees and pretending he block it .
Sloppy rollup type move and HBK wins.
Well this was… boring as fuck. It’s like they watched the Mr Jibbles/Cena match and thought they could out-bore the crowd.
I used to have this at around ****1/4 .
CAL SCALE – 0
GM KING REGAL still just randomly sat in the crowd watching.
Mickie James interview. She thinks she’s gonna win cos Cena and HBK won their matches. Makes… sense? Mr Jibbles shows up and tells Mickie to fuck off so he can bitch and moan about Cena. He cuts a good promo, actually. I think Todd shat himself.
Mickie James Vs Beth Phoenix Vs Melina – WWE Women’s Championship Match
Holy FUCK at the backstage fight between Beth and Melina on Raw the previous week . Beth fucking MURDERS Melina.
Yes, I’m going to watch this match!!! I like all 3 women involved and not just in a FAP FAP FAP way. I especially wanna see the match now knowing that Melina is gonna want some fucking revenge for nearly dying last week lol.
Beth holds the ropes open and demands Melina fucks off cos she doesn’t belong. Melina kicks the fuck out of her and sends Beth out of the ring!!!
Beth doesn’t take long to recover, and takes Mickie out on the outside so she can get some one on one time with Melina to finish the job she started on Raw .
Mickie seems to keep coming out of nowhere and hitting some crazy cool offence on Melina and Beth, sometimes even with a move that takes them both out lol! Really fun stuff so far .
DROPKICK TO THE FACE~! Damn, Mickie just flattened Beth!!!
DOUBLE BACKBREAKER BY BETH~! SHE HAS BOTH OPPONENTS ON HER SHOULDER IN A SUBMISSION HOLD~!
Beth is looking dominant as fuck, but as she focuses on Mickie, Melina takes her out with a neckbreaker, allowing Mickie to hit Melina with the DDT and get the win!
Well this was short and sweet!!!
CAL SCALE – 2
HBShizzle and Batista backstage. Big Dave says that he told HBK if he was lying, he was gonna destroy him. And he’ll do it soon. AKA Stretcher match at ONS.
The Undertaker Vs Edge – World Heavyweight Championship Match
Vacant title on the line here as Vickie stripped the Dead Man of the title after he nearly killed Edge with THAT SUBMISSION MOVE~! The move is also banned now.
DID YOU KNOW?!?! The WWE/World Title has been vacated in the past due to injuries and OTHER REASONS!!!
“IF THERE IS ONE MAN WHO CAN GET INSIDE UNDERTAKER’S HEAD IT’S THAT MAN, EDGE”. Ummm… no, Mick. No.
PUNCHES TO THE FUCKING FACE~!
Punches to the fucking face whOUCH *collapses*
Edge counters OLD SCHOOL and poor Undertaker lands balls first on the ropes and then BOUNCES AROUND before finally hitting the mat .
It’s all downhill from there for the Dead Man, who ends up being send into the ring steps knee first and it looks fucking BRUTAL, then he crashes and burns trying to hit a running boot to Edge in the corner and again takes a big bump knee first into something.
Edge is in firm control by working over the leg of ‘Taker, so much so that when he goes for a cover at one point, a desperate Undertaker even attempts to lock in Hells Gate, but remembers it’s banned and must try something else.
The cocky Edge decides to try his hand at OLD SCHOOL, but ends up also getting countered and falling balls first into the ropes!!!
Throughout this series of matches, one thing that has been consistent is Edge’s ability to counter Undertaker’s signature moves. So, what does Undertaker do? CHANGE THINGS!!! Chokeslam? Nah, CHOKESLAM INTO THE TURNBUCKLE! And then what? Well, might as well follow it up with a running boot, like he would if he’s just hit Snake Eyes!
The Edge Heads show up though to distract Undertaker momentarily, but it isn’t long until the Dead Man is back with another modified signature move to confuse Edge, this time with a TURNBUCKLE LAST RIDE~!
SNAKE EYES ONTO AN EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE~!
SPEAR OUTTA NOWHERE~!
The match has taken it’s toll on both men, and it’s at this point where Undertaker can seemingly go back to his typical offence rather than needing to change it, because Edge is too fucking knackered to counter lol.
CLOTHESLINE OVER THE BARRICADE~!
The referee begins his count as both men battle their way to the ring, but Undertaker at the last moment smashes Edge into the barricade again and makes the count, and THE UNDERTAKER IS THE WINNER AND… not WHC because the title cannot change hands on a countout . BITCH.
Really good match, but without a doubt a step or two behind their epic WM and BL bouts. Still better than the TLC that needs to burn in a fire and die, and probably on par with their HIAC match, if not a little better.
CAL SCALE – 2
MVP shows up for an in ring promo. He’s complaining that he isn’t on the card. Well, I guess SOMEONE has to. He makes an open challenge. Matt Hardy comes out to introduce Jeff.
Jeff Hardy Vs MVP
CAL SCALE – -1
Triple H Vs Randy Orton – WWE Championship Steel Cage Match
30 minutes left on the show . These two are about to have a 30 minute steel cage match.
The bell rings and Orton dives for the door. Never have I wanted a match to end that quickly in my life. Unfortunately HHH ruins it like he ruins everything else. Fucker.
5 minutes in and I think we’ve had about 20 bumps into the side of the cage so far. This is followed up by about 20 more in the span of 2 minutes. Well, if they’re gonna go 30 minutes, they have to fill time with SOMETHING, right? Because we all know they can’t do it with an interesting wrestling match .
GM KING REGAL . He’s still watching and never changing his expression. And about to go into a feud with HHH that doesn’t go all the way because Regal fucks up .
Figure Four Leg Lock spot, with both JR and Lawler constantly saying how Orton will need to find another way out of this hold because even if he reaches the ropes HHH won’t have to let go. The Orton reaches the ropes and the referee does a 5 count and forces HHH to let go .
Orton has a chair now.
10 minutes left and I swear all they’ve done is throw each other into the side of the cage, do the figure four spot, then a couple of spots with a chair.
And now the final 10 minutes are them both battling on the top rope over and over again in the exact same place. Exciting.
Some more chair spots. More exciting.
Pedigree and this is mercifully OVER.
I’m not trying to be funny here. I’m not bitching and complaining and going overboard to try and be entertaining. I literally cannot think of a single good thing that happened in this match. At all.
CAL SCALE – 0
Overall CAL SCALE – 2.5