Once in a lifetime… 2.
The Shield Vs Sheamus, The Big Show & Randy Orton
THE SHIELD AT WRESTLEMANIA. Hells yeah. Surprised that this opened the show over the WHC match, but what ya gonna do? WHC match not opening kinda lead me to believe that Ziggler was gonna cash in. He didn’t. Until RAW the next night! And Shield went after THE UNDERTAKER on Raw the next night too. But enough of Raw (which was great), this is WM. And it’s THE SHIELD. Babyfaces start off hot, gaining the early advantage mainly because they’ve been desperate to get their hands on The Shield for some time now. Show tags himself in as it doesn’t look like Orton or Sheamus trust him enough to tag him in, and oh man, Show and Ambrose have a super fun minute together in the ring. I can’t wait for Ambrose and Undertaker interactions. I mentioned this in my live notes already, but I love that they get finally get the advantage in this match by controlling BIG SHOW. Normally you wanna stay away from the giant and control someone… smaller, but Shield take ANY opportunity they get and are able to keep even The Big Show down with their incredible team work. Makes them look fucking great. Hot tag to Sheamus, and he dishes out some great punishment, before being part of a sick spot involving Rollins who does a suicide dive and ends up head first into the barricade. Does every major Shield match result in Rollins going head first into something lol? Show is great with his giant spear to prevent a triple powerbomb. Show is begging for Sheamus to tag him… but Orton the selfish bastard tags himself in… and ends up losing all the while Show just watches on feeling betrayed. Knockout punch to Orton and Sheamus for being so selfish. Weakest Shield PPV match so far… and yet it’s still fucking good. Shield are immense, and after seeing the Raw after WM I absolutely cannot wait for their next 6 man!
CAL SCALE: 3
Mark Henry Vs Ryback
Really wish they got someone else for Henry to face at WM. Ryback sucks. Henry needs someone either smaller so he can really fucking destroy them, or someone equally as big who can actually work. Henry using Bear Hugs certainly don’t win any favours with me for this match. Fuck that hold. LMAO at Lawler saying the fans are booing this match because they expected Ryback to be winning. Couldn’t possibly be the boring as shit Bear Hug, could it? Match has some good parts to it. Noting that good, but it stops it from being completely horrible. Pretty much take out the Bear Hugs and this could have been a little better. Finish was weird and a little abrupt, but hey, HENRY gets the win so woo.
CAL SCALE: 0.5
Team Hell No Vs Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston – WWE Tag Team Championship Match
Tag titles on the line here. Again, with the WHC match not opening, and this now happening before it, I was sure Dolph was cashing in. Instead he loses her and doesn’t cash in until the next night lol. The call back tease from Bryan’s match last year was fucking tremendous and yeah, I thought they might actually go ahead with it and have Ziggler lose that way. Then he could have cashed in later in the night and got his redemption lol. But it didn’t end there, which is good because then at least Bryan gets a real match at WM finally. Wish it was a singles match but ah well. Big E was a concern going into the match because based on his FCW stuff I’ve seen, he isn’t that good. But he doesn’t stay in long and sticks to basic power shit and he does absolutely fine in his role. ZIg Zag was a great near fall, surprised the match didn’t end there. Dolph was super fun in this, as for Bryan, but it seems Kane was in for the majority of the match, but at least Bryan got the pin. Fun stuff, match went pretty much how I expected it to.
CAL SCALE: 1
Chris Jericho Vs Fandango
Fans not signing his entrance music automatically means this isn’t good. Just kidding. Wish WM had both a roof and the same crowd as Raw. Would have been more fun to watch. Jericho is the grizzled veteran here, while Fandango is the newcomer that hasn’t even had a match yet. I like how the match played on that perfectly. Jericho pretty much just dominated, with Fandango getting shots in here and there when he can. Surprised that Jericho kicked out of the legdrop… since it seemed like it was supposed to be Fandango’s finisher, and Jericho just killed it in his first match lol. Some awkward sports here and there (botches, possible miss-communications), and a strange finish, but overall a fun match. Fandango got the win like most people expected, and the way he did it, while looking dodgy, at least worked within the story of the match. Seems they will have a rematch at Extreme Rules, or maybe just on Raw, based on this week’s Raw.
CAL SCALE: 1
Alberto Del Rio Vs Jack Swagger – World Heavyweight Championship Match
WHC time! Spoiler: No cash in. Makes me sad. But they made up for it the next night on Raw. I need to stop talking about Raw lol. LMFAO, it’s WRESTLEMANIA. WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH. And Swagger doesn’t even get an entrance! LOL. Dutch wearing his usual jacket thing but with a shirt and tie under it for WM is awesome. Unfortunately this match isn’t awesome. Thankfully it wasn’t bad either though. I went in expecting nothing because I really don’t care for either guy or their feud, so them pulling out a solid match is all I can ask for. Some nice sequences and bumps throughout the match, and I quite enjoyed the submission counters they did. Shame Del Rio absolutely no sold the effects of the Ankle Lock like a twat. Also didn’t like how they (the commentators, and even the fans, though the fans kinda blew most of the night anyway) no sold the Gutwrench Powerbomb. It’s Swagger’s pin finisher, and it just randomly happened half way into the match to zero reaction and got a normal 2 count like it was nothing. In the end Swagger taps to the Arm Breaker. Enjoyed this one more on a re-watch, but that isn’t saying too much. Certainly not a bad match, but between me not caring about either man and Del Rio’s shoddy selling along with a few other little things, it doesn’t really get into the “great match” territory. Which is a shame because it was looking quite good in parts.
CAL SCALE: 1
The Undertaker Vs CM Punk
Main event time! The build up might have been fucked up with the death of Paul Bearer (wonder what they originally planned?), but I was still wanted to see the match because it’s CM Punk and the motherfucking UNDERTAKER at WrestleMania. Had some doubts as to how good it could be, I’ll admit, but I was still pretty hyped to see it. Living Colour signing Punk’s theme was the only good musical performance at WM since… the last time Motorhead played HHH to the ring. Piddly Diddly earlier in the show was dreadful. I legit had no idea who the fuck he was until afterwards too. All I knew is he was some fucker who started talking over one of the Rocky themes. Now I know him as Piddly Diddly, the fucker who talked over the Rocky theme. Punk is awesome. Just needed to get that out there. We all know it though. But he’s awesome from just the little things he does based around his character as he makes his entrance. And then we have Undertaker who is on a whole other level of awesomeness far above even Punk. His entrance was awesome as fuck. All the creepy hands rising out of the floor trying to escape hell where Undertaker has sent their souls or something. I think that’s what they were going for? Was an awesome visual anyway. The hands, the mist, the lighting, Undertaker’s theme, Undertaker in general. The entrances for this are better than the show so far, and I’ve enjoyed the show so far! I honestly don’t see how WM is ever going to be the same once he retires. NOBODY, and I do mean NOBODY, not Brock, not Rock, not Cena, not HHH, not even someone like Hogan potentially coming back, could ever match the kind of presence Undertaker has at this event and the effect he has on the overall show. Hell wrestling in general simply won’t be the same knowing he won’t ever have another match once he retires. I know personally as a fan I probably won’t care as much once he leaves. Some of the build to this match has been Punk talking about how he can end the Streak without beating Undertaker; he can end it by having Undertaker essentially beat himself by getting DQ’d. They don’t play up on that too much in the match, really just at the start, but honestly I don’t mind at all. Punk slaps the shit out of Undertaker to start with, trying to get him angry, but Undertaker is clearly able to beat the fuck out of Punk AND stop before he crosses the line and gets DQ’d, so it makes sense that Punk would give up on that idea and stick to wrestling, because he’s the BEST IN THE WORLD and truly has confidence in himself even at WM against the Dead Man. Crowd are awesome for the first and only time at this event. And it really is cool to hear someone get a mixed reaction against Undertaker at WM. That’s how popular Punk still is. Undertaker brings his A game, despite the fact everyone always expects him to show up looking like some old man who can barely move lol. As long as he can take some bumps and throw his awesome punches, I doubt he is capable of a bad match. And as good as Undertaker is in this match, Punk is actually the better man, but both are tremendous anyway. Punk is able to counter Old School, then hits his own because he can. They tease the Dead Man Dive, and hell I actually thought he was gonna go through with it, but Heyman gets up on the apron and Undertaker ends up charging at him full force and grabs him by the throat until Punk makes the save. Great way to get around the fact Undertaker really shouldn’t be doing that move, though I don’t doubt for a second that he could if he really wanted. Punk picks up a lot of momentum, then signals for a GTS after messing about with the Urn, and Undertaker manages to come back with a massive Chokeslam! Didn’t have the kind of near fall effect that it would have done 5 years ago, but it doesn’t stop me from still enjoying the match or anything. Yeah we know Punk isn’t winning, but it doesn’t make the match less entertaining imo. Big table spot, with Punk hitting the Savage elbow from the ropes, and the table doesn’t break, which always makes the move look even more BRUTAL in the best way possible in all honesty. Looks fucking SICK in slow motion on the replay. Totally saw the Hells Gate attempt coming lol. Undertaker rising up while in the Anaconda Vice was a fucking great moment. Reminds me of Undertaker sitting up while in the Figure Four at WM 18. Punk counters a chokeslam, hits a GTS and Undertaker falls into the ropes and springs back with a quick Tombstone OUT OF NOWHERE! Incredible moment, made even better when Punk kicks out! Didn’t expect that. Not sure what people feel about Undertaker essentially no selling the GTS, but it was almost like it woke up the Dead Man, who had to hit a big move as quick as possible out of sheer desperation because Punk might very well be as good as he says he is. Last Ride countered ala WM 17 but with the URN instead of a Sledgehammer was great. Didn’t for one second believe it was over, but it was still a tremendous spot and near fall. Punk gets cocky once again and does Undertaker’s signature pose before setting up the GTS one more time. Great counter sequence, and Undertaker hits another Tombstone! 1…2…3! 21-0! Incredible match. Doesn’t match the last 4, but that’s just how great they were. Punk was tremendous, Undertaker proved once again that he can still GO better than almost anyone, and the end result is a tremendous addition to the STREAK. MOTY so far, and definitely MOTN. 7 years in a row Undertaker has had the best match at WM. 6 of them were my MOTY overall too.
CAL SCALE: 6
Triple H Vs Brock Lesnar – No Holds Barred Match, if HHH loses he has to retire
Which is meaningless because he’s probably had less than 10 matches in the last 3 years lol. HBK at ringside because… *shrugs*. Lesnar looks hilarious in a beanie hat. HHH looks hilarious with white stuff all over his stomach. Lesnar looks baffled by it lol. Triple H starts the match by going after the stomach of Lesnar, smart given the real life problems Lesnar has had, and given that that is how HHH turned the tide in their SS match in 2012 (though in the end it didn’t matter). Then he just stops and throws punches to the head instead. And speaking of head… Lesnar lands on his after taking a clothesline off the barricade. Ouch. Crowd don’t give a FUCK from the get go. Nothing to get excited about anyway. Some good stuff here and there, but it’s all spread out too much so when something happens and you start getting into the match… they just stop, slow shit down, and do fuck all again for a few minutes. Really kills the flow of the match. SS wasn’t exactly a fast paced affair, but it had a great atmosphere to it and a real big fight feel and they did a lot more too. This is just dull. HBK running like a bitch from Lesnar is one of the few highlights. Poor Lesnar needs to stay away from steel steps. He fumbles about with them here and it makes him look dumb, plus he keeps losing matches because of them lol. Lesnar keeps locking in the Kimura, but HHH keeps fighting out before Lesnar can break it. Then HHH attacks the arm of Lesnar and locks in the Kimura lock himself! Lesnar holds on like a motherfucker, refusing to tap out despite teasing it numerous times. Makes the hold look kinda shitty I know, but this IS still pro wrestling and not MMA. HBK superkicking Heyman is awesome. And HBK finally serves his purpose of being at ringside LOL. Lesnar manages to pick HHH up off the ground while in the hold, making him look like a fucking BEAST, and smashes the game onto the steel steps. I’ve seen people complain about him constantly getting put in the hold again and again after breaking free, but the way I look at it is that he manages to escape but is too hurt to follow up, allowing HHH to lock it in before he has chance to recover. Lesnar goes to the well too often, and instead of smashing HHH onto the steps for a third time, HHH counters with a DDT! This is followed up with a sledgehammer shot, and then a Pedigree on the steps and Lesnar is defeated. Lesnar looked strong as fuck in defeat so I’m not THAT bothered, though I would have liked to have seen Lesnar win lol. Match overall isn’t that good, really slow and boring outside of the finishing stretch and a couple of moments here and there. SummerSlam match blows it away imo.
CAL SCALE: 1
The Rock Vs John Cena – WWE Championship Match
wice in a fucking lifetime bullshit for the WWE Title. Zero fucks given by me. Only good thing about this is that they don’t have grand entrances and god awful musical performances like last year. God was that terrible. 10 minutes go by… and… wow, fuck all happens, yet they both sell the match like they’ve had a WAR up to this point. Cena keeps calling spots loud as fuck too lol. Our friendly neighbourhood botchamania guy made sure to put them all in his latest video for anyone interested lol. So yeah, fuck all happens and them BAM. Finishers galore. They just kept hitting them. Again and again and again and again and again. About as “Indy” as a WWE match could be. Pointless nothingness before hitting each other with as many big moves as possible before eventually ending the match lol. ONLY moments that I enjoyed were Rock mocking Cena’s mistake from the previous year, and Cena taking the piss by teasing making the same mistake this year, only to stop and look at Rock like he’s a fucking moron… only to have it backfire on him and get Rock Bottomed. They burn through a ton of finishers before Cena finally wins and that’s that. LOL at them saluting each other at the top of the ramp. Terrible match, managing to be worse than last year.
CAL SCALE: 0
Overall CAL SCALE: 13.5