King of the Ring 2002 Ramblings

Posted on: April 20th, 2014 by Big Cal

king_zpsce11e236

King of the Ring 2002

 

Well I gotta watch the main event for this show at some point. Might as well be now. :(

 

Chris Jericho Vs Rob Van Dam – King of the Ring Semi-Final Match

They do some basic fancy looking counters and shit to start with, ending with both of them going for a dropkick at the same time. But they make it good afterwards when RVD does his “R! V! D!” thing to show that HE is actually the better man, and Jericho slaps him in the face. Which leads to RVD KICKING JERICHO IN THE FACE with a somewhat EPIC kick tbh. Looked like the toe of RVD’s boot jabbed Jericho in the eye lol.

From that point, RVD is in firm control, using his unique offence to take Jericho to the limit and beyond. He sets up for a 5 star frog splash… and Jericho pushes the ref into the ropes, crotching Van Dam on the turnbuckle!!!

BREAKDOWN~! And RVD kicks out. Guess it’s no longer his finisher lol, because the commentators don’t even MENTION the move, and the fans don’t react :lmao.

:lmao at Jericho as he chokes RVD with wrist tape. The ref tells him off and Jericho just screams back “BUT I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD!” at him :lmao.

Jericho smashes himself into the ring post and RVD begins his comeback and URGH he starts it with those elbows. Those god awful elbows. Oh god there is a HHH Vs RVD match on PPV in 02, isn’t there? SHITTY ELBOWS VS SHITTY PUNCHES await me :(.

:mark: Jericho avoids a leg sweep and counters with a sweeet Enzeguri to the head :mark:.

GERMAN SUPLEX~! RVD fold up and STAYS LIKE THAT until Jericho makes a cover and he kicks out!

Pace picks up now and they both go for high impact/signature moves and they do give us a pretty cool finishing stretch tbh.

LIONSAULT~! MISSES!!!

5 STAR FROG SPLASH~! MISSES!!!

LIONSAULT~! KICK OUT!!!

Jericho tries for something on the ropes, gets crotched and hit with a 5 Star Frog Splash and RVD advances to the finals!

This was pretty good :). Finishing stretch was tons of fun, and Jericho’s control segment was good too. Jericho then attacks RVD after the match.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Test Vs Brock Lesnar – King of the Ring Semi-Final Match

Yey Lesnar has his good music now.

Cool to see Lesnar against a big powerful opponent. Test can throw out some power stuff but more importantly Lesnar can throw out bigger and better power stuff which makes him look so much more impressive.

:mark: Test kicks out at one point and Lesnar can’t believe it so he just SMASHES his forearm into Test’s face and goes for another pin. Lesnar is awesome.

Heyman nearly has a heart attack any time TEST hits something successfully :lmao.

HOLY SHIT, the Big Boot near fall is :mark:. Looks great and Heyman probably died for a few seconds thinking it was over then and there. He recovers enough to distract Test, F-5 from Lesnar and this is done.

Fun stuff!

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 

Jamie Noble Vs The Hurricane – WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match

Man, I forgot how much FUN Noble and Nidia’s characters were lol.

Pretty well built up feud for this (ahhh, CW feuds, another reason to miss the brand split :( ), so there is some HATE~! here to play off :).

Helms is on a roll to start with, rocking Noble with some big shots and nearly lands a CHOKESLAM too. Then Nidia tries to grab his feet coming off the ropes, but she MISSES :lmao and because it’s the spot, Helms looks back and chases after her anyway, allowing Noble to KILL Helms with a legit KILLER clothesline that made me :mark:.

:lmao at Lawler trying to get JR to fantasise about Nidia :lmao.

Thing get a little dull with Noble applying a sleeper hold, which sucks :(. Then Hurricane makes his comeback but it falls a little flat tbh. The crowd just aren’t into the match at all, making the near falls just DIE because nobody cares :(.

HUGE neckbreaker from the top rope are least gets a reaction. Looked great. But unfortunately that can’t make up for the fact this match has been fairly dull for the most part. Which is a shame. It started off good, then died. Fans only hot hot for the neckbreaker and then the CHOKESLAM that followed, and then the match ends with Noble getting the win.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

Eddie Guerrero Vs Ric Flair

Eddie is just :lmao early on in this match. He’s moving about all over the place, using his speed and quickness to out manoeuvre Flair, mocking him the entire time because Flair is old and slow and he’s young and fast.

I do hate that the commentators are REALLY putting Eddie down. They talk about how Flair is a master inside the ring and has probably forgotten more about wrestling than Eddie knows and all that shit… and I’m sat thinking to myself “Eddie has been in the business for what, 14/15 years at this point? And is a second generation star who grew up in and around the business and learnt a TON from his dad and brothers. Why the fuck are you treating him like some rookie?”.

Flair comes back with a LOW BLOW, showing that he’s still the dirtiest player in the game, and Eddie shows that he is FAR from a rookie by going to the outside to recover and prevent Flair from building any kind of momentum. I’m all for putting FLAIR over, but at the expense of Eddie? Feck off.

Guerrero continues to mock Flair, this time by using Flair’s own gameplan on him, targeting the legs and locking in a Figure Four!!!

A missed FROG SPLASH allows Flair to get back into it, and he shows Eddie how the Figure Four is really done! Benoit shows up and stands on the outside as we watch Flair fumble about on the mat trying desperately to do a bunch of quick pins but is too slow and too old to really execute them properly and it’s hilarious yet sad at the same time :lmao :(.

Eddie distracts the referee, and Benoit drags Flair to the outside and applies the Crossface! Referee doesn’t see him doing it but sends Benoit to the back anyway.

While the referee is busy with Benoit, Bubba Ray shows up! Bubba Bomb! Flair crawls into the ring, goes for a pin and gets the win!

Well this match was disappointing :(. Started off fun, but then it just becomes generic. Eddie attacks the legs. Flair makes a comeback. Interference. Finish.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

Molly Holly Vs Trish Stratus – WWE Women’s Championship Match

No thanks.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Kurt Angle Vs Hulk Hogan

:lmao at the wig Angle is wearing.

Oh god this one starts off with a test of strength. The memory of HHH/Hogan is flooding my mind. GET IT AWAY!!!

:lmao at Hogan swinging his arm around to build up to a big punch… then when he comes time to punch, he stops spinning and throws the punch the OPPOSITE WAY HE WAS SPINNING. Come on Hogan, a guy your age can’t afford to waste energy like that!

Gotta give it to Hogan here though, he does take a lot of offence from Angle, which includes a bunch of suplexes lol. Taking all those back bumps can’t be good for the guy!!! :p

SLEEPER HOLD. Likely quite literally used as a rest hold here so Hogan can keep on going for the remainder of the match :p.

ANGLE SLAM~! HOGAN KICKS OUT~!

HULK UP~!

Hogan takes the wig off, but eh, seeing Angle bald for the last 11 years takes away any kind of impact it has lol :p. Angle is so disgusted that he decides to leave, but comes back when he sees Hogan wearing the wig :lmao.

CHAIR TO ANGLE’S FACE… DONE BY HIMSELF~! BIG BOOT~! LEGDROP… COUNTERED INTO AN ANKLE LOCK~!

Hogan taps out.

Match is fine. Nothing special, but I wouldn’t call it bad or anything. Hogan being limited probably works in the match’s favour tbh because it prevents Angle from going all out with MOVES~! :p.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 

BOOKER T AND GOLDUST. Goldust is pretending to be The Rock :lmao. The real Rock shows up and ruins everything. GoldRock > Real Rock. Goldust rubbing his nipples while Rock is talking is :lmao. Booker trying not to laugh is :lmao. Goldust rules.

 

Brock Lesnar Vs Rob Van Dam – King of the Ring Finals Match

RVD fights Lesnar HEAD ON from the get go, and Lesnar eats some fucking epic kicks to the face.

POWERBOMB. Welp, RVD is doomed lol.

Lesnar’s power here is just :mark:. Completely MAULS RVD. Can’t wait to see their lengthier Vengeance match soon.

BEAR HUG~! Lesnar makes it look INCREDIBLE. Heyman on the outside screaming “SQUEEZE!!!” adds a whole lot to it too. Lesnar is one of the few people who can BEAR HUG someone and not make me wanna shoot myself. A rare quality in a wrestler lol.

Damn, Lesnar catches a kick from RVD and just THROWS him up into the air and onto his shoulders. Incredible RAW POWER.

RVD starts to rock Lesnar, and to keep Lesnar motivated we hear Heyman constantly screaming “TITLE SHOT!!!” to remind Lesnar of the importance of this one. 5 STAR FROG SPLASH~! Heyman drops RVD neck first across the ropes, and RVD falls back into the cover! Lesnar kicks out, catches RVD from the ropes and levels him with an F-5.

ALL HAIL KING LESNAR!!!

Tremendously fun match. Short but good. Lesnar looks incredible, RVD gets some decent offence in and almost beats THE BEAST, which helps set up their rematch perfectly. :mark:

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

HHH backstage runs into THE NWO. They all HUG and shit. NWO tell Triple H to do the CLIQUE hand signal if he needs any help. I need help with this next match, can I get the NWO to review it for me instead? PLEASE? :(

 

The Undertaker Vs Triple H – WWE Undisputed Championship Match

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. DO NOT WANT.

But it’s a main event, it’s a WWE title match, and it has THE UNDERTAKER in it. So I gotta watch it :(. BRB need beer.

:lmao at HHH getting his win back over Hogan to become #1 contender for this match. CAN’T HAVE SOMEONE BEAT HIM WITHOUT HIM BEATING THEM BACK!!!

Heyman being on commentary to scout Lesnar’s potential SS opponent might hopefully help me get through this one. HOPEFULLY. I’m scared :(.

OH GOD 27 MINUTES LEFT ON THE EVENT. I don’t think I have enough alcohol to get me through this.

Arrghhh, awful HHH punches right from the get go. Undertaker hates them too so he just fucking HEADBUTTS HHH. And not in the “put my hand on HHH’s head and headbutt my hand in a way that looks like I headbutted his head” but a “fuck this shit. HEADBUTT UNPROTECTED”. Maybe he was hoping it would knock either or both of them loopy so they could get through the match not really knowing what the fuck was going on. I know I could do with something like that.

Ahhh, Undertaker is in control for the moment. GOAT PUNCHES. But so far this appears to be like their Insurrextion match, with HHH refusing to give Undertaker anything for too long. GOTTA GET DEM SHITTY PUNCHES IN.

FFS HHH, LET UNDERTAKER HAVE A FECKING CONTROL SEGMENT. Do you not understand basic wrestling 101? HEEL BUILDS HEAT, BABYFACE MAKES COMEBACK. It’s the most basic of things, yet it fucking WORKS. Why should anyone care about you getting offence in if you do it every 30 bloody seconds for a 25 minute match? I gotta say though, I do :lmao at certain parts of this because UNDERTAKER seems to be shooting on HHH a few times, using some “old school” kinda moves that hurt like hell for real, such as rubbing his forearm into the face etc. I swear he’s pissed off with this match as much as we are, so he’s getting his shots in when he can :p.

Crowd has been AWFUL for this PPV btw. I don’t blame them for this match, but fuck, they’ve just not given a shit about anything or anyone for the most part. A hot crowd MIGHT have made this a little easier. MAYBE. We’ll never know though lol.

Still 15 minutes left :|. This seems to be lasting FOREVER. BRB need more beer.

:lmao WORST REF BUMP EVER. ‘Taker sets HHH up for a catapult thingy into the corner. The referee is stood to the side, seeing what’s coming. THEN HE RANDOMLY MOVES INTO THE CORNER TO GET SQUASHED BY HHH :lmao.

The Rock shows up and Heyman runs away. Now we have to listen to HIM while watching this crap? Urgh.

:mark: Undertaker kicks Rock in the face. BECAUSE HE CAN. Best part of the match so far. :lmao then Rock tries to get revenge and ends up decking HHH in the head with a chair then gets mauled by Undertaker.

LAST RIDE~!

Another referee shows up, only gets a 2 count, so Undertaker punches him in the face.

ROCK BOTTOM~! Fuck you, Rock. Stop getting in ‘Taker’s business. You had no reason to show up half way into the match on commentary. And you certainly had no business hitting a Rock Bottom. This is like No Way Out all over again. Match happened there because Rock put his nose in Undertaker’s business when he shouldn’t have. Motherfucker.

PEDIGREE~!

ROLL UP~! Undertaker wins!!!

My god. This is awful. Awful. AWFUL. And it just seems to last FOREVER too. 25 minutes? More like a fucking day. At least Undertaker wins in this one. Still, it might actually be worse than their Insurrextion match.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 8

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *