The Great American Bash 2004
A new PPV added to the WWE schedule! And it was met with… uhhh… not so great reception due to how terrible the event was. Or at least how it’s remembered. BUT is it that awful? Eddie/JBL doesn’t scream “awful” to me. Not after their JD CLASSIC. But the rest of the card? We’ll see…
John Cena Vs Rene Dupree Vs RVD Vs Booker T – WWE United States Championship Match
Fuck me look at the LACK OF TALENT in this match . Seriously, outside of a very small handful of matches, Cena sucked around this time. Dupree? Don’t make me laugh. RVD? Could be good but overall not my thing. And Booker T? fuck off.
Well even if I WANTED to sit through this, the file I have to watch it on just crapped out during Cena’s attempted rap.
Ok, 2 days later and I’ve got the NETWORK version of the show. Also…
CAL SCALE – -1
Charlie Hass Vs Luther Reigns
CAL SCALE – -1
Rey Mysterio Vs Chavo Guerrero – WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match
*sigh* a fucking Chavo match. Their NWO match used to be one of the few Chavo matches I liked. On last watch it wasn’t good. This is usually considered his best… fuck knows what I’ll end up thinking of it now .
the referee gets a 2 count from THIS:
WELL DONE MINI FLAIR. I don’t blame him though, I’d have counted too in hopes of ending this match and not having to sit through CHAVO any more .
Rey starts kicking Chavo’s legs and it allows him to build momentum… so he then switches up and goes after the arm. Despite the fact he was just working over the leg. WHAT?
Chavo DROPKICKS Rey off the ropes to the floor. LOL, of course it was a dropkick…
So Chavo is building momentum and… goes after Rey’s legs! Cuts 99% of Rey’s offence if he can’t walk so it’s smart, plus knee surgeries and shit too. Plus Chavo probably remembered how much his leg was bothering him a few minutes earlier when Rey went after it… before moving to the arm for NO REASON.
Fuck me I’m bitching at REY in a CHAVO match. Hold on, need to see if hell froze over…
Yep. Cold as fuck down there.
COLE CONFUSED A BULLDOG WITH A DDT.
Chavo actually looks… some what kinda barely sorta a little bit not so terribly shite in this! His attack to Rey’s legs is pretty gosh darn awesome, plenty of varied offence thrown in too. And Rey, well he’s Rey. Great selling, wonderful hope spots, and all round goodness.
They battle on the top rope at one point and meh, it’s pretty shitty tbh. They were positioned as if they were gonna do a superplex to the floor rather than in the ring, then grabbed hold of each other’s head and jumped into the ring and smashed each other face first and it looked sooo fucking FAKE lol.
Rey does well selling his leg while still being able to get some of his usual offence in. He holds his leg while trying to run, then when he does bounce off the ropes and hits something he tends to roll away from Chavo and hold the leg again rather than follow up or even make a cover.
Chavo actually still selling his ARM at this point too btw. Rey didn’t do much to it earlier in the match, but Chavo did ram it into the ring post at one point during a Rey hope spot, so nice of him to still show that it’s bothering him at points when it makes sense to.
I keep complimenting Chavo. I FEEL SO DIRTY.
WEST COAST POP COUNTERED INTO A SINGLE LEG BOSTON CRAB~!
Rey holds on for a good while, then finally makes it to the ropes and the fans are on fucking FIRE for it!!!
Another Gory Bomb attempt, but Rey counters into a sunset flip and gets the 3!!! CHAVO LOSES!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Great match! Thank FUCK this ended up being great! Would hate to think I’d sat through a Chavo match for it to be shitty. Best Chavo singles match? Can’t think of anything better atm.
CAL SCALE – 4
Kenso Susuki Vs Billy Gunn
this is a fucking PPV match?
CAL SCALE – -1
PAUL HEYMAN . HE’S GOT PAUL BEARER TIED UP~!
Sable Vs Torrie Wilson
CAL SCALE – -1
Mordecai Vs Hardcore Holly
Holly goes right after Mordecai and beats the FUCK out of him lol. The on the outside Mordecai throws Holly into his cross thingy and follows up with a vicious clothesline on the floor.
Still makes me that this guy was supposed to be built as a big opponent for Undertaker. Seeing him again makes me wonder why people liked his gimmick. He just comes out in a white robe with a cross and… uhhh… that’s about it really. His in ring work? Nothing horrible, but nothing amazing either. Decentish brawler, but oh look, REST HOLDS.
at the spot where they bump heads .
Nice little finishing stretch from these two, as they both hit some nice high impact moves and take turns at kicking out of shit. Enjoyed the actual finish too, Mordecai turning an Alabama Slam into a RAZOR’S EDGE.
This was a fine little match tbh. Needed less rest holds from Mordecai, but they didn’t last long at least.
CAL SCALE – 0.5
Eddie Guerrero Vs JBL – WWE Championship Texas Bull Rope Match
their JD match was fucking INCREDIBLE and I have high hopes for this too. On previous watches its not been as good as JD, but still a great match so hopefully it holds up .
Tony Chimmel reading the rules of the match makes me wanna shoot myself lol. He’s reading off a fucking card and STILL fucks up .
the rope comes off Eddie within about a minute .
Match really starts off awkward. Ropes comes off Eddie’s arm, Eddie gets caught up in the rope a couple of times, and it has the makings of being a MESS of a match. BUT it quickly switches from awkward to good . Mainly because they start trying to wrestle a normal match for the most part without using the rope to strangle each other and shit lol.
JBL’s punches .
JBL just dropping to the floor so Eddie can barely move him when he tries to touch the corners and win .
COW BELL TO THE HEAD~!
Tree of woe in the corner, then JBL uses the rope to choke the hell out of Eddie! BRUTAL~!
JBL tries to fucking POWERBOMB Eddie from one announce table to the other, but Eddie slides away, wraps the rope around JBL’s leg and trips him up, causing Bradshaw to fall back first onto the table!
COW BELL TO THE HEAD~!
Eddie using the rope to his advantage, sending JBL into the ring post multiple times!!!
shades of JD with the SICK chair shot… only this time it’s EDDIE nailing JBL in the face! Eddie has a sweeeeet smile on his face afterwards, and JBL is BLEEDING .
Another chair shot to JBL!!! Eddie touches 3 corners, but again JBL drops down to make it harder on Eddie, and even wraps his legs around the ring ropes to prevent Eddie from hitting number 4!
Eddie tries again, and makes it to 3 once more, but JBL desperately grabs hold of the ring ropes to keep Eddie from victory.
JBL’s power gets him back in control, mainly thanks to those big right hands. Eddie tries to use his SPEED to hit all 4 corners before JBL can really know what’s happening, but again JBL uses his power to stop Eddie.
Again Eddie gets 3, and this time JBL rolls OUTSIDE of the ring and just collapses on the floor, with the rope not being long enough for Eddie to reach the last corner!
COW BELL TO THE HEAD~!
JBL LAUNCHES EDDIE OFF THE APRON ONTO THE ANNOUNCE TABLE USING THE ROPE AROUND HIS NECK!!! THE TABLE DOESN’T BREAK~!
POWERBOMB THROUGH THE FUCKING TABLE~! It broke that time!!!
JBL gets Eddie back into the ring. He’s bleeding, but has a HUGE smile on his face because he thinks he has this match WON now. Just like Eddie, he gets 3 corners and EDDIE drops to the mat and grabs the ropes, just as JBL did multiple times in the match!
COW BELL TO THE HEAD~!
EDDIE FIRES UP~!
Eddie starts touching corners, but JBL does it right after him for each one too! Both have 3 (though the first light for JBL doesn’t work ), and now it’s a battle for #4!!!
Guerrero dives into the corner and hits the turnbuckle and retains his title! EDDIE WINS! EDDIE WINS!
Wait! Angle shows up, and explains that JBL is in fact the winner!!! What?!?! We get a replay, and it shows us JBL hitting the corner FIRST!
HOLY SHIT WE HAVE A NEW WWE CHAMPION! JBL IS THE NEW WWE CHAMPION!! BOOOOOOO!
Absolutely HATED the decision for this lol. Hated JBL at the time and wanted Eddie to hold the belt for a long arse time. Looking back I STILL want Eddie to win, but I’ve grown to love JBL too.
Match is great. Starts off a mess, but they quickly get into their groove and work within the limitations of a Bull Rope match to give us something DAMN FUCKING GOOD.
CAL SCALE – 5
The Undertaker Vs The Dudley Boys – Concrete Crypt Match
For all the hate this entire angle gets, I kinda like it. Heyman motivates The Dudley Boys and they team up. Dudleys kidnap Paul Bearer to gain control of THE URN and force Undertaker to join them. And if he doesn’t do what they want, they’ll hurt Bearer. And then we get to this match. If Undertaker doesn’t DO THE RIGHT THING aka PUT OVER THE DUDLEY BOYS, then Heyman is going to KILL Paul Bearer by pouring concrete into a crypt which Paul Bearer will be locked inside!!!
Absolutely CRAZY concept yes, but the MATCH is what counts, not the insane potential murder after the match .
To help motivate Undertaker before the match, Heyman pours some concrete into the crypt to cover Bearer’s feet! Bubba then gets in Undertaker’s face and tells him to LAY DOWN. The Dead Man is conflicted, looking over at Bearer constantly, then finally ACTUALLY LAYING DOWN!!!
Bubba goes for a cover, but Undertaker grabs him by the throat!!! Then Devon runs in and gets caught too, but Heyman distracts him and the Dudley’s begin to beat down the Dead Man for daring to defy them!!!
UNDERTAKER is fucking PISSED though and takes it to both of the tag team champs! OLD SCHOOL~! But before he can jump off the ropes, Heyman screams BAD DOG at him and pours more concrete into the crypt!!! Now Bearer is covered in concrete up to his tits!!!
Dudley Boys keep trying to beat down Undertaker but he can’t stay down and let 2 men beat him up so he continues to fight back, and Heyman pulls the lever again and intends to END Bearer for good!!! However Bubba pulls it back up and tells Heyman that he and Devon are gonna get the job done themselves!!!
The distraction from Heyman and Bearer, along with the numbers game, finally catches up to the Dead Man and now he’s in the fight of his life. Or Bearer’s life, anyway .
Heyman thinks the Dudleys are back in full control and comes to ringside, only for Undertaker to sit up right in front of him! CHOKESLAM TO BUBBA! TOMBSTONE TO DEVON! UNDERTAKER WINS!!!
Heyman ain’t happy. Undertaker didn’t DO THE RIGHT THING, so he has to kill the one person Undertaker cares about! LIGHTING BOLT!!! Undertaker shoots a lightning bolt to prevent Heyman from pulling the lever!
The Dead Man goes after Heyman… then looks over at Bearer…
“PAUL. I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE. REST. IN. PEACE.”
UNDERTAKER PULLS THE LEVER!!! UNDERTAKER KILLS PAUL BEARER!!! WHAT?!?!?!!?!?!??!
I’ve heard people complain about this or be confused as fuck about this… which confuses me because IT AIN’T ROCKET SCIENCE YOU DUMB CUNTS. For weeks, Dudleys and Heyman were able to CONTROL The Undertaker through Paul Bearer. They made it perfectly clear to the world that Bearer is the only person Undertaker cares about. So when the time came for Undertaker to save his friend or kill him off… Undertaker decided to kill him off because HE WAS HIS ONE WEAKNESS. Even if Undertaker saved him, what would stop the next guy from trying to pull the same stunt? How many other people would come after Bearer to control Undertaker? Undertaker DID THE RIGHT THING.
In ring action ain’t THAT good really, gets dull with the Dudleys working over Undertaker, but the angle for the match and the stuff with Heyman makes up for that imo. I like this, and while it isn’t anything special, it’s certainly NOT BAD AT ALL.
CAL SCALE – 1
Overall CAL SCALE – 6.5