New Years Revolution 2006
Another Raw PPV from 06, and again I have to take the wrapping off .
Ric Flair Vs Edge – WWE Intercontinental Championship Match
Edge jumps Flair from behind because let’s face it, even at his age, Flair > Edge, so Edge needs all the advantages he can get.
Lita looks FAPING HOT.
Flair chases Lita and Lita runs and BOUNCES .
PUNCHES TO THE FACE~! Man, what a tough guy Edge is, beating up an old man.
They keep changing the camera to point at Lita .
How is the reverse Atomic Drop legal? They smash their opponent balls first onto their knee. Oh well, it’s only Edge’s balls. Ha, Flair follows it up by dropping Edge balls first onto the barricade. FLAIR IS WORKING THE BALLS OF EDGE~!
THUMB TO EDGE’S EYE~!
THUM TO LITA#S EYE~! Bet that isn’t the first time a guy has got something in Lita’s eye .
FLAIR SUCCESSFULLY COMES OFF THE TOP ROPE~!
LEG WORK SETTING UP TO THE FIGURE FOUR~!
Figure Four to Lita .
MONEY IN THE BANK BRIEFCASE TO FLAIR’S SKULL~! Flair deserved it tbh…
Flair is bleeding of course.
So, Edge loses by DQ. Flair retains his title. It’s almost like Edge didn’t care about winning. Hmmm… I wonder why…
Match has some fun moments, nothing more.
CAL SCALE – DUD
GOAT promo by Angle. Says he hopes the US loses the war in Iraq. Loves France. Hates black people. Wants to make Jesus tap out. Then goes on to say it doesn’t matter what he says, the people will cheer him anyway because he’s the greatest wrestler in the world.
Trish Stratus Vs Mickie James – WWE Women’s Championship Match
one of my favourite women’s matches! And part of one of my favourite women’s angles! TRISH. MICKIE. LESBIAN~!
LITA in the first match and now TRISH AND MICKIE LESBIAN ANGLE in the second match? GOAT PPV RIGHT HERE~!
I miss Mickie and those mini-skirts.
Lol, any time Mickie counters Trish or gets the better of her in an exchange, she looks like the happiest person in the world .
Mickie escapes a headlock by grabbing Trish’s BOOB~!
Some good wrestling from these two women, showing they are more than just smoking hot babes . Also some tremendous character work from Mickie, and Trish’s reactions to it all are great. Mickie isn’t full on psycho like she would be at WM, but she’s great at adding in bits here without going full on.
Fuck me, that was one hell of a punch exchange! They clobbered each other!
BICYCLE KICK~! Trish fucking DECKED Mickie with that!!!
Mickie decides to grab the women’s championship belt and seems to be thinking about using it or not. In the end she decides against it because she LOVES Trish or something .
Meanwhile Trish seems to be having a great time beating the absolute piss out of Mickie. NOBODY MAKES LESBIAN MOVES ON TRISH AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!
KICK TO THE FACE~!
Mickie with Stratusfaction! But she savours the moment too long and Trish is able to kick out. Continuing to work her character into the match with how happy she looked that she was able to get the better of Trish. Then when Trish kicks out, Mickie shows signs of PSYCHO MICKIE.
CHICK KICK~! Trish manages to pick up the win in this extremely hard fought and fucking GREAT women’s match! Used to consider this better than their WM match. These days they are on the same level with STARS and shit, but I prefer the WM one over this ever so slightly. Still, it doesn’t get much better than this for women’s matches in WWE!
CAL SCALE – 3
Maria is interviewing herself . Helms shows up. Then Shelton Benjamin arrives at the arena with his MOMMA despite the fact he doesn’t have a match. His MOMMA is here to make sure he DOES have a match!
Edge leaves LITA alone to do that WWE Instant Access thing they used to do (interviews on wwe.com after matches) because he has bigger things to deal with. Wonder what that could be…
Jerry Lawler Vs Gregory Helms
Almost skipped this match, thinking it was awful, then I remembered I was thinking of LAST YEAR’S NYR PPV when Lawler had a stinker with Hassan .
So Helms is no longer THE HURRICANE and wants to be a more serious wrestler and DEMANDS respect. Lawler ain’t giving it to him so Helms had to beat it out of him.
SLAP TO LAWLER~! So Lawler responds with PUNCHES TO THE FACE~!
I could watch Lawler punch people all damn day.
LAWLER WITH THE HURRICANE POSE~! Lol, might have had more of an impact had I not watched GAB recently with Matt Hardy doing the exact same thing .
Like the GAB match with Hardy, that Hurricane pose angers Helms and forces him to up his game and finally gain control of the match.
Helms is a good cocky heel here as he works over Lawler and even blocks an attempted counter, where Lawler tries to get his boot up to catch Helms coming off the ropes. Then when he sends Lawler into the ring post, he gets a headset and starts doing commentary! Helms > The Rock .
DOWN COMES THE STRAP~! LAWLER COMEBACK~!
Fuck me, HUGE pop when Lawler teases a Piledriver!!!
TOP ROPE FIST DROP~! LAWLER WINS! LAWLER WINS!!!
Actually a little baffled at the result of the match lol, but oh well . Good stuff. Helms was good during his work over period, and Lawler making a comeback is always great.
CAL SCALE – 2
LITA, TRISH AND MICKIE ALL TOGETHER BACKSTAGE FAP FAP FAP. HOT SWEATY BODIES~!
Aaaand then we switch over to Shelton’s MOMMA . She bends over, and Viscera makes a move .
Triple H Vs The Big Show
I’M EXCITED FOR A TRIPLE H MATCH!!!
So after what HHH did to Flair over the last few months, Big Show decides to do something about it. 2 months later . HHH smashes Show’s hand with a sledgehammer, but all it does is give Big Show a WEAPON as now he’s a 7 foot, 500lb giant with a hard CAST on his hand!!!
Dayum, Lillian looking FINE tonight! Even Joey Styles mentions it lol.
This is one of the reasons I LOVE wrestling. Why I have been watching it for over 20 years. Why no matter how bad the product gets, I’ll still go out of my way to watch certain people and certain matches. Show has a cast on his hand. And the entire match is worked around it. You have the tease and build up to Show using it as a weapon. HHH avoiding it. HHH trying to neutralise it. It’s the most simple form of storytelling, but when done right, it’s beautiful. It’s ART. Even guys I don’t always tend to like can still make me absolutely at a match when they do the simple stuff right. I don’t always care for HHH, but in the right situation against the right opponent, he can really work a match to perfection.
So early on, Show is just DOMINATING with nothing more than his POWER. HHH will occasionally hit the giant, but his shots are rendered useless, so he has to use his head and find openings anywhere he can.
BIG SHOW PUNCHES THE RING POST~! He swung his cast covered arm at HHH, but missed and instead his broken hand collided with the metal ring post, and even the cast isn’t enough to stop the pain. And THAT is the moment HHH was looking for!
HHH RIPS THE CAST OFF~! Now the weapon has been taken away from Big Show, and his broken hand is exposed! A smart wrestler would waste no time going after that injured hand, and HHH is definitely a smart wrestler!!!
I love when someone works over a body part, and does it well. Even better if it’s something more unusual. Everyone does the leg or the shoulder, occasionally the back, but when someone targets a smaller part like the hand, it’s usually pretty awesome.
Big Show goes for a chokeslam, but his broken hand won’t allow him!
HHH BRINGS OUT THE SLEDGEHAMMER~!
BIG SHOW BREAKS THE SLEDGEHAMMER WITH A BROKEN FREAKIN’ HAND~!
THE GIANT IS UNSTOPPABLE~!
Big Show does a great job adapting his offense so he uses his broken hand as little as possible. And when he DOES use it he shows the effects of the injury, be it selling afterwards or simply not being able to do what he wanted.
STEEL CHAIR TO THE BROKEN HAND~! Well, his sledgehammer is broken so he might as well use the chair!
HHH comes at Show again with the chair and Show just fucking LAUNCHES himself at the game with a Spear!!!
Show tries a left handed chokeslam and… BROKEN SLEDGEHAMMER TO THE FACE~!
This one is OVER!
This. Fucking. Rules.
CAL SCALE – 6
Carlito makes Masters an offer he can’t refuse. Take out the other Elimination Chamber participants, then they can fight each other to see who becomes the new WWE Champion.
Shelton Benjamin Vs Viscera
Shelton’s MOMMA challenges Visera to a match with Shelton!
Shelton might be the superior athelete, but Viscera’s sheer size is too much for him to handle early on!
And time for some controversy… I was a big fan of the Shelton’s MOMMA angle! She was awesome on the outside cheering her “son” on and was always entertaining in backstage segments etc.
In typical “big man vs little man” fashion, Shelton targets the legs of his bigger opponent and is able to gain control. Shelton’s MOMMA is awesome on the outside shouting at Benjamin to break the leg of Viscera .
Shelton starts getting on the losing end of things, and his MOMMA stars shouting “DO I NEED TO GET THE BELT? GET UP! GET YO ASS UP!!!” and Shelton KEEPS GETTING UP . Now THAT is motivation!
BLACK HOLE SLAM BY VISCERA~! That move has a whole new meaning coming from him .
VISAGRA~! “YOU GET OFF MY BOY!!!”
SHELTON’S MOMMA SMASHES VISCERA IN THE HEAD WITH HER HANDBAG~! KICK FROM SHELTON~! THIS ONE IS OVER!!!
CAL SCALE – 1
HBK is confronted by Vinnie Mac, who wishes Shawn good luck! Obviously he doesn’t mean it because these two are feuding… or about to start feuding? I forget.
Maria Vs Ashley Vs Candice Michelle Vs Victoria Vs Torrie Wilson – Bra and Panties Gauntlet Match
CAL SCALE – -1
Shelton’s MOMMA reveals she had a BRICK in her handbag! Because you never know when you might need a brick. There was this one time, I needed a brick, but I didn’t have one.
John Cena Vs Shawn Michaels Vs Kurt Angle Vs Kane Vs Chris Masters Vs Carlito – WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match
Urgh. I hate this match. But it’s a main event for the title so I’ll suffer through it.
Lol, Kane talking smack to Carlito while both are locked inside their pods.
So we start off with Cena Vs HBK, which I guess is a good thing. Over a year later they’d have a pretty darn good WM main event and have had a few great matches following that too.
Cena just elbowed Shawn RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE. TWICE. First one looked brutal. So how does HBK respond? With a bitch slap . Then Cena PUNCHES Shawn in the face. LOL Shawn’s a pussy .
Bah, the two of them don’t really do anything worth writing about. Speaking of not doing anything worth writing about; Carlito is the next guy in. Fans pop for him though because he attacks Cena. Hitler would probably get cheered over Cena in the chamber .
*puts some chicken dippers in the oven*
Angle is next out and he just runs into the match and fucking MURDERS everyone. SIX GERMAN SUPLEXES~! OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY TO HBK OVER THE ROPES TO THE STEEL~! GERMAN SUPLEX TO CARLITO OVER THE ROPES TO THE STEEL~!
Love him or hate him, Angle coming in and mauling everyone like that in a match like this is pretty darn sweet. Easily the most entertaining part of this match so far!
HBK IS BLEEDING~!
ANGLE IS DOMINATING~!
ANKLE LOCK ON CARLITO~!
MASTERS IS THE NEXT GUY OUT AND SAVES CARLITO~!
MASTERS IS DOMINATING~!
ANKLE LOCK ON MASTERS~!
NOBODY OUTSHINES ANGLE~!
ANKLE LOCK ON CENA~!
SUPERKICK TO ANGLE~!
Aaaaaand there goes the only fun part of this match .
Carlito and 2006 Chris Masters are in this match and KURT ANGLE is the first to be eliminated. Bullshit tbh.
Wonder how those dippers are coming along… damn, 6 minutes left .
Stuff happens. Kane is out last.
Yey dippers are ready .
Carlito and Masters double team Kane enough to eliminate him.
Mmmmm chicken dippers rule!
HBK gets eliminated by Carlito .
Damn, ate all my dippers .
DDT TO CENA ON THE STEEL~! Guess he’s gunna pop back up and win the match now, if SummerSlam 2010 is anything to go by .
Carlito tells Masters to put Cena in the Masterlock and be the one to eliminate the champ! And Carlito turns on him and pins him. Because he’s a retard. The moment he pins Masters, Cena pins him . Dumbshit.
This is booooring as fuck. Angle is the only entertaining thing and he was eliminated first.
CAL SCALE – 0
VINCE MCMAHON’S MUSIC!!! THE NIGHT IS NOT OVER!!! WHAT’S GOING ON!?!?!
John Cena Vs Edge – WWE Championship Match
EDGE IS CASHING IN HIS MONEY IN THE BANK!!! I guess THIS is the important thing he was talking about earlier . Either that or he had to pick up some new lingerie for Lita .
Cena is battered and bleeding, while Edge is fresh!
Cena kicks out .
What a moment. Not because Edge won the WWE Title, but because Cena LOST the WWE Title!
Then 2 weeks later they killed Edge’s momentum completely .
CAL SCALE – 0
Overall CAL SCALE – 11