One Night Stand Extreme Rules 2007 PPV Ramblings

Posted on: June 14th, 2015 by Big Cal

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One Night Stand Extreme Rules 2007

 

Alrighty, it’s time for… ummmm… genuinely don’t remember a single match that takes place at this event :lmao. Guess that’s what video packages before the PPV are for! :p

 

*watches video package*

 

If I hit my head hard enough, will I forget all the matches again? :(

 

Randy Orton Vs RVD – Stretcher Match

Fuck me, they show a video from LAST WEEK with Orton murdering RVD with punts and DDT’s and RKO’s, yet here is Mr ECW himself ready to compete. All the while HBK got taken out a month earlier from FAR LESS, and won’t return until like, September? October? :lmao

So, RVD Vs Orton. On paper, this has potential for sure, as they have wrestled a bunch of times over the years and I’ve enjoyed quite a lot of their work together. However, as I’ll likely mention over and over again in this ramble (hey, you all have that to look forward to!), gimmick matches in WWE most of the time tend to prevent the guys from having one of their better matches together.

After all those shots to the head a week earlier, RVD is out for some major revenge and starts the match off with a kick right to Orton’s fucking head :mark:. And more of that comes Orton’s way in the early going :mark:. It’s mainly awesome because Orton can sell head shots better than 90% of everyone ever probably.

One shot to RVD’s head and he’s out of it. He tries to go for the 5 Star Frog Splash, but ends up falling off the ropes to the floor and seems to be confused. Actually thought it was a botch at first and was about to ” :lmao ” but then I realised it was actually supposed to happen and instead I :mark: :p.

:lmao RVD did that spinning legdrop kick thingy off the apron to Orton who was on the stretcher, and he basically spanked him instead :lmao. No idea where RVD WANTED to land the legdrop, but it hit nothing but ASS lol.

I could probably have made about 10 gifs of RVD killing himself/getting killed from this one match alone lol. No wonder he took some time off after this :p.

Like that the stretcher didn’t come into play until right at the end. Whole match was better than I thought it might be given the stipulation. Everything was focused on HEAD (ha). Orton wanted to finish RVD off (ha), and RVD wanted to return the favour (ha… ok I’ll stop now). Both men sell the effects extremely well, and the finish played into that too, with RVD getting somewhat of an upset victory but done in a way that made sense. Aaaand then Orton KILLS RVD with a Punt :p.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

Vince is looking forward to facing Lashley one on one tonight… but he has a bad feeling that something awful is going to happen to him soon. Wonder what he means :side: :p.

 

Sandman, Tommy Dreamer & CM Punk Vs Elijah Burke, Matt Striker & Marcus Cor Von – 6 Man Tag Team Tables Match

MARCUS COR VON :mark:. THE POOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUNCE~!

Random Dudley Boy’s reference with Dreamer and Punk doing the whole “GET THE TABLES” schtick lol. Actually forgot for a moment that this was a tables match until that happened :lmao.

Match is… kinda odd. A bit of a mess with them starting off as a normal tag then suddenly remembering that there are no DQ’s or anything, and from there it goes downhill mostly because Sandman is staggering around not really knowing what the fuck to do, Dreamer is sucking, Striker is mostly sucking, Burke is being awful, and Punk and Cor Von are trying their best to keep things entertaining but everyone else is screwing it up for them :lmao.

Superplex to Striker onto Burke through a table ends the match as it’s not one of those fun elimination table matches :(.

Also we didn’t get a POUNCE :(.

:(.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Hulk Hogan and Test apparently had a love child…

 

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The Hardy Boys Vs World’s Greatest Tag Team – World Tag Team Championship Ladder Match

Huh, don’t remember this match being a thing lol.

In fact, I don’t remember Hass and Benjamin being a team again at this point in time lol.

Anyways, cool little spot with everyone going outside the ring and bringing a ladder in to use as a weapon. The Hardy’s realise what’s happened and throw their ladders down and dropkick Hass and Benjamin’s ladders right back into their faces!

Nice use of the multiple ladders too, I think some stuff was done that I’ve actually NEVER SEEN BEFORE, which is rare as fuck in ladder matches after like 2002 :p.

The match slows down like fuck once WGTT gain full control, and the fans even boo just how shit some of their ladder offence is :lmao.

Apparently the FOUR FUCKING LADDERS IN THE RING aren’t enough, so 2 of those really big ones are brought down by the Hardy’s. Urgh. AND THEY DON’T EVEN TRY TO USE THEM TO CLIMB UP AND WIN. In fact, they only actually use one of them. AND THEY DON’T EVEN PUT IT IN THE RING. God I hate ladder matches sometimes lol.

Oh ffs. now everyone is just fumbling about with ladders and not even remotely trying to climb one and win the fucking match.

Fucking hell, just remembered that the TLC PPV is on tomorrow too. MORE SHITTY LADDER MATCHES YEY~! (edit: TLC has happened and yup, MORE SHITTY LADDER MATCHES~!)

Poor Shelton, keeps botching spots :lmao.

Aaaaand then Shelton dies. Hardy Boys retain. I wish to never see this match again.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Joy. They follow up that match with a Khali promo. Not sure which is the biggest trainwreck.

 

Mark Henry Vs Kane – Lumberjack Match

:lmao thought they’d done some stupid editing here and changed Benoit’s theme song, but turns out it’s just some generic shit for all the ECW lumberjacks to come out to. I think. Was Chris Masters in ECW in 07? Wait, the draft isn’t until the next night. Guessing this is a mix of ECW and SD guys then, right?

Hmmm… actually they might have edited shit out there, as there was no commentary during the entrances, and this event likely would have been released just after the Benoit incident so I guess anything is possible. Wait… maybe not lol. They did just mention Benoit by name. FUCK KNOWS :lmao.

10 seconds into the match and the lumberjacks are already made useless, when Kane gets thrown to the outside and nobody dares touch him.

Apparently they don’t fear Henry though, as everyone jumps on him to throw him back in. And he throws them all off like a BOSS. So ummm… WHY IS THIS A LUMBERJACK MATCH?!?!

THEY’RE WRESTLING ON THE OUTSIDE AND NOBODY IS DOING SHIT ABOUT IT.

:lmao at least this is more funny that annoying, I guess :p. Plus, I can’t be TOO mad during a KANE VS HENRY match when they are doing some good shit :mark:.

Henry is awesome. Just thought everyone needed to know. In case they didn’t. But they should. Because he is.

Well damn, a BEARHUG spot in a match I liked? Impressive! Kane escaping with a choke and how it was all done was sweeeet as fuck. And that was the only real “slow” part of the match so far, with both guys always on the move or performing some kind of offence the rest of the time.

Chavo and Dykstra randomly jump Kane in the ring and… somehow the match is no longer No DQ? WHAT? :lmao

That distraction allows Henry to grab Kane in another Bearhug, and THE REFEREE CALLS FOR THE BELL. Henry beat KANE WITH A BEARHUG!

Fun and pretty good match between two big bastards!

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Vince McMahon & Bobby Lashely – ECW Championship Street Fight

:lmao Lashley botches THE FIRST MOVE and nearly kills himself :lmao.

He tries that dive he does over the ropes to try and take out Umaga… and his leg gets caught on the ropes :lmao.

Thankfully he isn’t injured, maybe a little sore, but he’s right back in the match like nothing happened about a minute later.

DDT ON THE STEEL CHAIR~! WHICH MISSED THE CHAIR~! BUT THEY PRETEND IT DIDN’T~!

:lmao Vince hits the worst spear ever. Worse than what Edge does. WORSE THAN EDGE. Think about that for a second.

Fuck me this is boring. Just Vince, Shane and Umaga slowly beating up Lashley and trying to pin him. Lashley keeps kicking out, and they repeat the 3 on 1 beating again.

Chair shots to Vince. Then right back to a 3 on 1 beating.

SHANE O’MAC ELBOW THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~! Best part of the match so far. This should have been Lashley Vs Shane.

I wonder how far Lashley’s push would have gone had he stayed with the company. They were clearly looking to turn him into the new Next Big Thing… and then he left. Kinda like Lesnar :p.

Oh, Lashley wins his ECW title back btw. Last couple of minutes are the only parts worth watching. Except for the botch at the start lol :p.

Rating: 3/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Melina Vs Candice Michelle – Pudding Match

Ummmm… no.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Edge Vs Batista – World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match

Well the last match I saw between the two sucked balls (Vengeance). Hopefully this will be better. Not holding my breath though. Although it wouldn’t matter if I did. I’d still end up opening my mouth and taking in a breath at some point. It isn’t possible to die like that because your body simply won’t let you lol. Stupid fucking saying. Who came up with it? The french?

Batista’s offence looks… pretty darn good in the early going of this. Nothing special, just clubbing clotheslines and even basic suplex, but they were all executed extremely well and looked vicious as FUCK.

Then Edge starts getting shit in and it’s… kinda shit.

BOOOOOOORING.

They do the boring finish with both guys trying to escape at the same time from different angles, teasing the good guy getting the win but the bad guy hits the floor first. If I had skipped this, I would have missed nothing.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

John Cena Vs The Great Khali – WWE Championship Falls Count Anywhere Match

So people whose wrestling opinions I value say this is a good match. They’d better not be wrong… :p.

Did… did Khali just hit a roundhouse kick? Either that or the Coke I’m drinking has real coke in it.

Huh. This actually IS good. So far, anyway. Could still go to hell, but I’m hoping it doesn’t because this is FUN :).

Cena actually comes across as an underdog for a change, thanks to Khali being so damn big and actually looking pretty IMPRESSIVE on offence. Seriously. He looks like a competent wrestler here! Cena is putting over all of Khali’s shit too by taking big bumps from simple moves and making it seem like Khali can’t be stopped (even though this is a rematch from JD, when Cena WON lol).

Khali pretty much dominates this entire match, with Cena just getting the odd shot in here and there in order to stay alive, before he starts to get a little more in as we go into the finish.

Cena makes good use of his environment when they go out into the crowd and up to the stage and shit too. He’s doing anything he can to try and stop the giant, and I like it!

In the end, an F-U from a crane to the floor FINALLY puts Khali down for a 3, and Cena retains.

Well bugger me sideways and call me Julie; this was really fucking good! Best Khali match? Hmmm… still leaning towards the LMS with Undertaker (obviously lol), but this is tremendous too.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 7

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